I don't know if you know this, but now you know: This is the final chapter for COTU! :DDD Well, all the nakama have already tried their luck at getting the two annoyingly stubborn idiots to get along, so all that's left is the finale!

I'm sorry, this chapter is really quite short, but it IS the ending and I couldn't really make it longer.. :X Thank you all those who have reviewed, favorited, followed or have just simply read this story! It really means a lot to me :D Hugs and kisses to you all!

Oh, on a random note, remember the story that I wanted to write? Well... heh, in the end I DID write it because the plot started expanding so much in my head that I just NEEDED to write it. I think maybe I'll post the chapter one of that story soon, like maybe on one of these few days, because otherwise I really have no time. :X All I need now is a title for the story... heh. YES, so obviously I'm mentioning this so that you'd give the new story a try! :D and okay, I'm gonna stop rambling. Here's chapter 9.

Chapter 9

"That was the last of it!" Nami threw her hands up in surrender, "I thought for sure Robin's plan would work, but they're still arguing over the smallest matter!" She let out an aggrieved sigh, watching as Zoro and Sanji were once again quarrelling about something.

"So who's the winner? Who's the winner?" Luffy asked enthusiastically. "It's me, isn't it? Yosh, Sanji shall cook a meat buffet for me!"

"Shut up, Luffy," Nami snapped, "I don't know who won – I mean, there was that one time we found Zoro and Sanji sleeping that morning, remember? But nobody wished to claim their reward, and that's the only possible improvement we've seen so far."

"Those two are tough nuts to crack," Franky commented, nodding his head. "But I seriously thought that Robin would've made it," He said, as the archaeologist gave a small smile.

"Zoro was very endearing," She answered simply, and left it at that.

"We can't tell who the winner is now!" Usopp complained, "And we've spent so much time thinking about how to get them to get along!"

"Yeah!" Chopper chirped in agreement.

"I even offered to halve Zoro's debts," Nami agreed, exasperated. "Even that didn't work, so what could work in the end?"

"Was it all a futile mission after all?" Brook piped up. "Perhaps it's best that we leave things at status quo."

"I want my meat buffet ~~" Luffy moaned, "SANJI!"

"SHUSH!" Usopp clasped a hand over Luffy's mouth. "So, now what..?" He asked Nami.

"I don't know… I think Brook's right," Nami answered dejectedly. "Maybe it was all futile after all. We should've known. The two of them are really hard to 'defeat', huh."

"We've tried our best," Usopp nodded his head firmly, with Chopper following suit. "It's okay! There's nothing wrong with this one loss! I don't want to handle the two of them together again!"

"Alright then, we'll be calling it quits," Nami finally decided. "We've lost this mission."

...

Sanji stubbed the rest of his cigarette onto an ash tray, and then turned to look at the rest of the crewmembers crowding around Nami's mikan trees. He let out a deep sigh. He should've long realized it.

All they wanted was for him and that stupid marimo to get along.

"Oi, marimo," Sanji called out, walking around the deck. The stupid swordsman was probably still sleeping somewhere. He'd better watch his footing, because he always ended up tripping over –

"Watch it," Zoro said sharply as Sanji nearly fell over Zoro's sleeping form. "What do you want, love-cook?" He demanded.

"Ah, just wanted to talk about something," Sanji replied, running his hand through his hair. He sat down beside Zoro, and lighted a cigarette. Zoro raised an eyebrow at the blond. Sanji never wanted to talk about anything to him.

"So?" Zoro prompted when Sanji had finally lighted up his cigarette. "What is it?"

"It's about our nakama," Sanji took a puff on his cigarette, "It's obvious, isn't it?"

The swordsman immediately understood Sanji's point. He let out a sigh. "Yeah," He answered dully. "I wonder what they're actually trying to achieve. Why are they bothering so much? We like things to be this way between us."

Sanji let out a laugh, "What, strained and tense yet somehow sort of friendly at the same time? That's the most screwed up relationship I've ever heard of."

"Isn't that what your relationship with most of the people at Baratie was like?" Zoro replied, turning to face the blond. "You're the most screwed up person I've ever known."

"… Yeah, I guess," Sanji inhaled deeply, "I suppose so."

"So what do you want to do about it?" Zoro asked. When Sanji gave him a questioning glance, he elaborated, "I mean, about what our nakama is trying to do. Should we tell them to quit it?"

"Maybe we should just get along." Sanji suddenly suggested.

"What?" This time, Zoro was the one who laughed. "I think we've accomplished it fairly well. Look, we're talking to each other without riling the other up."

"And there's no fighting," Sanji shrugged. "Look, we can do it. Why not we just show them that we actually can get along, and there's no need to forcibly make us get along? Friends bicker all the time, anyway."

"I thought they knew it by now." Zoro agreed, "Our relationship has always been like this, since two years ago. I thought they'd have realized it."

"Maybe they do," Sanji shrugged, "But they just want us to get along like how real nakama do. Without all this fighting shit," He glanced towards the rest of the crewmembers, who were still talking about something.

"It's only fun when we fight, y'know," Zoro replied. "Talking's boring."

"And I seem to vaguely recall a marimo talking to an unconscious person for two hours straight," Sanji teased lightly with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Zoro's eye widened, before the corners of his mouth curved upwards to form a smile.

"So you heard? And you didn't bother waking up, you stupid nosebleed-cook?"

"I didn't hear a word you said," Sanji answered smoothly, "But I do remember this annoying voice talking constantly, non-stop." Sanji grinned, "Never knew you were such a chatterbox, marimo."

"… Shut up," Zoro turned away from Sanji, looking directly in front of him. "So what are we gonna do?"

"What? There's no need to think about it." Sanji stood up, and then offered a hand to Zoro. "We're going up there to show them that we can get along if we'd like. Just for them to stop their antics. You know they don't work for shit."

Zoro looked at the proffered hand and considered rejecting Sanji's help, but then thought about what they were supposed to do. Sighing, Zoro took Sanji's hand and stood up. "Alright, let's go."

...

"So we're really giving up?" Luffy whined, "But what about my meat! My meat buffet…" Luffy looked so downcast that Usopp wanted to give the captain a hug, but he stayed firm.

Nami wanted him to break the news to Luffy! Of course, this almighty Usopp'n-sama would not lose to Luffy's puppy eyes…

Or dejected expression…

Or pouting lips…

Usopp felt so guilty. It felt as though Usopp had just kicked a puppy. No, he wouldn't give in! Usopp forced himself to turn away from Luffy, and then cleared his throat. "Yes, this was a failure! Nobody won, so nobody gets the price!"

"B-But… Usopp…"

"Shhhh," Franky hissed suddenly. "The two of them are coming here! Pretend to look normal!"

The crewmembers were in a fluster, trying to look as though they had something proper to do... but since they were crowded around Nami's mikan trees, there really was nothing proper to do. Nami sat on her seat, peeling a mikan for herself, glaring at anybody who deigned to try to take one of her beloved mikans. Robin was sitting across from Nami, her legs crossed as she read her books, as per usual.

The others weren't so lucky at trying to get something to do.

Franky pretended to stretch, which caused him to nearly punch Usopp in the face due to his long reach and huge limbs. Chopper was scurrying like an ant on the ground, unsure of what to do, and kept circling the mikan trees. Usopp was pretending to look at something with his binoculars, but had to keep dodging Franky's hands and legs as Franky continued his workout. Luffy was still pouting in a corner. Brook had taken out his violin, and was now rubbing his bow strings with rosin. All in all, it was a comical sight.

"Look," Sanji sighed, "They really don't know how to pretend."

"They look ridiculous." Zoro agreed. "Huh, we should start our act now, right?"

"Yeah," Sanji took a deep breath, and then placed his arm around Zoro's shoulder. Brightly, he said, "Hey, I'm gonna be cooking lunch soon! I'm taking requests!"

"Uh…I'm gonna be helping him take the requests," Zoro piped up, his demeanour extremely awkward as he whipped out a pen and Sanji's personal notebook.

All the rest of the crewmembers were watching the pair with their mouth agape. An awkward silence hung in the air for a moment, and then…

"IT WORKED! IT WORKED!"

"SUPER~ AWESOME!"

"WHAT, WHAT, WHAT, IT WORKED! MEAT BUFFET! MEAT BUFFET!"

"O-O-OF COURSE, CAPTAIN USOPP-SAMA –"

"YOHOHOHOHO, WHAT A DELIGHTFUL SURPRISE… AND NOW…"

"WHO'S THE WINNER? WHO DID IT?"

"MEAT BUFFET ~ MEAT BUFFET~ MEAT BUFFET~"

"Shut up LUFFY!"

"B-BUT –!"

"Okay, now let's think clearly…"

"AND THEN, TO MY SURPRISE, THE TWO OF THEM – OUCH! NAMI, WHAT'S THAT FOR?"

"SHUT UP AND PAY ATTENTION, USOPP!"

As the rest of the crewmembers continued arguing over who had won the competition, realization dawned upon the cook and the swordsman. They exchanged glances.

"So it was just a competition after all, huh," Sanji interjected calmly amongst all the screaming and yelling, stubbing the remains of his cigarette. "You shitty idiots."

Understanding passed between the cook and the swordsman as they looked at one another, and then grinned.

"You are so dead, you shitty idiots!"

The two of them launched themselves onto the bickering crowd, beating up everybody they could see, of course, excluding Nami and Robin, who had snuck away quickly when they realized what was about to happen.

Chaos ensued as punches were being thrown, kicks were being launched, and poor nakama were getting beaten up. Finally, all that was left was Luffy, Usopp, Franky, Brook and Chopper lying on the ground, heavily bruised, as Sanji and Zoro stared down at them.

"What are you supposed to say now?" Sanji asked.

"We'b arb sorry." They answered simultaneously through swollen lips.

"Good. And..?" Zoro prompted.

"We won't do ib again." They continued.

And life on the Thousand Sunny continued as per usual after that fateful event, whereby the crewmembers stayed away when Zoro and Sanji quarrelled, and they all went about doing their own things.

They learnt the hard way to not mess with the cook and the swordsman now. And it'd do well for them to remember it.

Of course…

"MEAT BUFFET!"

"Okay, okay, I'll make a meat buffet," Sanji finally gave in after Luffy's fervent requests and pleading and begging and puppy eyes.

So Luffy was officially crowned the winner, for no reason other than his annoying whines and constant pleads.

And thus that marked the end of the mission to try to get their resident cook and swordsman to get along.

-
THE END

marks the end of the story :D