A special thanks to my beta, themarshal, who is responsible for all sexual tension in this chapter.

When I was a kid in Moscow, we couldn't afford omni-tools, and certainly not the nice ones with minifacturing capabilities. I would create model rockets or mechs that could help keep my room clean, but the visions existed only as drawings and calculations. It was good practice for my incarceration in Vancouver. Miranda had gotten me these wonderful trips to the park, even unfiltered access to newsvids, but the brass drew the line at tools. I would have to fix my greatest mistake on paper.

When I first saw what Gavin Archer had done to his brother, my first instinct had been to beat him to death with his own spine. I should have. How many times had my mother promised she would do better and wouldn't hit me the next time she was drunk. But I had let the experiment continue because controlling the geth was worth a single human life. EDI was friendly, but the geth were madmen that stuck humans on Dragon's Teeth the way warlords posed corpses as a warning. Anything that could stop that was good. Then I saw the marvelous talking geth and understood that I had condemned David Archer to hell for nothing.

But I could make it right. If I could just find a way to modulate the amount of data the mind would have to process at one time, I could change the Overlord apparatus into something that could be used to communicate with the geth inside their consensus. We could have true diplomacy, not domination.

I could feel Miranda's eyes on me and the sun beating down on my head. "Any progress?" she asked.

"Some. Maybe if the organic already had a graybox, we could scan the data inside and use it to project an avatar."

Miranda shook her head. Her face was lined with exhaustion from too many nights in the lab. "Personality storage and transfer is spotty at best. It would take decades for the technology to progress to the level you would need, and that's without the research being illegal anywhere outside of Illium."

"Well, that just means the Alliance needs to get its head out of its ass and legalize the research." I placed my hand over hers. She didn't move it, and the delightful warmth radiated through me. "You'd be able to digitize the mind. Upload it to other bodies when the original becomes ill or injured. Science fiction has been discussing the idea of brain uploading for decades. So why not?"

"Yes, science fiction. Verne and Wells wrote about spaceflight, but they were still long dead by the time humans left the planet. There are real logistical problems. Namely how you would safely update the firmware. And it would be decades more still to research a safe way to interface with the consensus. A monumental undertaking." The ghost of a smile hovered over her lips. "Like Lazarus."

"You aren't the only one who enjoys doing the impossible. I have to be ambitious if I'm going to keep up with the woman who raises the dead. And, after this war is over, maybe we can actually coexist with the geth instead of torturing autistic people because we're terrified." And maybe I would stop seeing David Archer in my dreams. "And if we take a few steps toward immortality on the way there, so much the better."

"The Reapers are coming, and you're thinking about after the war? The odds of anyone surviving are remote at best. We can't think about the future."

"That's why we have to think about the future. I'm fighting so I can build that better tomorrow. Maybe I'll survive and maybe I won't. Hell, maybe I'll be dead by the time the Reapers get here. But having those plans motivates me to take on those impossible odds. And raise your blood pressure. Trying to talk with the geth without depending on Legion is a very good goal. Just have to figure out a way to do it without going crazy."

"Let me see your notes. If you're going to tilt at windmills, I might as well make sure you do it properly." I passed the notes to her. Her brow furrowed as she read silently to herself. I watched her. When we had first met, I had vowed to never care what the "Cerberus cheerleader" thought of me or my ideas. But now? I wanted Miranda to see my vision of the future as viable, another tactic for advancing humanity.

"Not bad," she murmured. "Not bad at all. If I could get this to Brynn, the two of you could make some real progress. I think it would be simpler to simply create a digital avatar and control it with neural impulses. No personality transfer so someone else would have to take those steps to immortality, but we might actually get there within your lifetime instead of within mine."

"No good." I tapped one of the equations. "Lag time from issuing the command to when it's carried out is 7.3 milliseconds. You'd need to get it down to 3.2 for your way to be viable."

"It's not 7.3. It's five. You didn't take the derivative properly. See?" I watched in amazement as she reworked my equation and the numbers came out just as she said. "I think we can definitely shave off an additional 1.8 milliseconds in time."

I still stared at the paper. "You... Corrected my math..." It had been years since anyone had corrected my math. I raised my eyes to hers. "You corrected my math!"

Her smile changed to a smirk. "Did I wound your precious ego? The great Commander Shepard confounded because he forgot to carry the two?"

I tossed the paper in the air, pushing myself to my feet. "Screw it. I'm abandoning the project."

She sat upright, rolling her eyes. "Alex…"

I smeared it on thick. "Well, obviously the time I've spent in lockdown has turned my brain to mush. Can't even manage basic high school-level calculus... I should probably just stick with shooting things. Of course... I haven't held a gun in months, either... My aim might be off. Might need to resort to throwing rocks. Have we determined the effectiveness of rock-based projectiles on Reaper forces?"

She grinned effortlessly, and my heart flipped. Miranda Lawson: eager, unguarded, and playful. Because of me. Anything to keep her like this. "Of course, I'm going to have to rethink my future. No science means I'll have lots of spare time. Maybe I'll raise sheep? Alexei the shepherd. I think my great uncle raised sheep. Maybe that's too obvious? Goats, then?"

She threw her hands in the air and made to rise from her seat. "I'm leaving. You can pontificate on your bruised ego back in your-"

I swooped in, forcing her back to a prone position with my face just inches from hers. "Please, solnste, I'm an 'arrogant, maddening fool,' remember? My ego..." The gentle scent of pine needles wafted off of her. "Is perfectly intact."

She cocked one eyebrow up. "So you'll still be accepting my invitations to the wilderness every so often, then?"

"Of course," I grinned, lowering my voice. "It's good to have some, ah... stimulation every now and-"

She scoffed, pushing my face away from hers.

"Mental stimulation, of course!" I pulled her hand away from my face and smiled. Leaning down, I pressed my lips to hers. "I want you around." Again. "To correct my math." And again. "To keep me from making stupid mistakes." And again. The tip of her tongue played along my lips, sending a pleasant shiver down my spine. "You really think it's viable?"

She nodded. "You'd have to create an actual prototype, but, yes, I think it's doable. Theoretically." Excitement surged through her voice like electricity. I'd like to think it had something to do with me being on top of her, but I think I know her better than that. "This could be the biggest advancement in artificial intelligence since the creation of the geth. Possibilities for diplomacy and espionage. And, yes, possible advances toward eventual true brain uploading."

"See, we're geniuses. And geniuses…deserve a little reward." My mouth moved lower, following the delicate lines of her throat. So perfectly pale and unmarred. Let's see what we could do about that. I scraped my teeth against her skin. Miranda moaned, deep and primal as she fisted her hands in my hair. My hands roamed down her body. Miranda used every trick in the book to transform herself into Katriana Solheim, but none of them could disguise the lean muscles that tensed and flexed in response to my every move. Pinpricks of red bloomed on her skin. Marked. Mine. I reached for the zipper…

"Are you wrestling?" asked a small voice. "Sometimes my mom and dad wrestle like that. They usually do it in a bed."

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I sprang away from Miranda as if she were on fire and whipped my head around. It was the same boy Miranda had treated for a skinned knee, staring at me with a curious expression. Quick. How did you explain sex to a kid that hadn't had that conversation about the birds and the bees yet? "There weren't any beds around." Smooth, Shepard. The world is awed by your powers of oratory. "What are you doing here? Where's your mom and dad?"

The kid nodded, seemingly accepting my explanation. "Dad's at work. Moms over there—" he gestured off in the distance, "talking to Mrs. Hutchinson. I'm looking for my ship. Have you seen it?"

Beside me, Miranda straightened her clothes and smoothed her hair as if she were caught in flagrante every day. "You shouldn't be here by yourself."

"But I—"

"No 'but's, kid. She's right. Your mom will be worried sick about you. You should go back to her. Get her to help.

"But—"

"Kevin Richardson, where have you been? I've been looking everywhere for you!" His mother appeared suddenly, even more red-faced and terrified than before. "Don't you know that bad things can happen when you run off?" She looked at Miranda, recognition dawning in her eyes. "You're the doctor from before. Thank you again. And thank you both for finding my son."

I kept my mouth shut until they had both left. "So, do you think Kevin will tell his mom we initiated him into the facts of life a bit sooner than planned?"

Miranda flushed slightly. "I sincerely hope not."

I managed my best smile, but part of me still wanted to shrink to five centimeters tall and disappear into the shrubbery. "Another goal for the future: I will make love to you in a bed." I stretched out on the grass. It was warm. Comfortable. Normal. "You know what I still can't wrap my head around. There are parents out there who give a shit if their kid runs off. I used to play in the vents in our apartment building for hours at a time. Miracle I didn't get myself killed." Babuyla had hated it, but it was just another way of staying out of mom's hair. "Good place to hide, though."

The memories crept up before I could stop them. "I remember you and your dad were in the news all the time. I was so jealous. You had all these nice clothes and the car. And Lawson was the Wizard of Brisbane who could do anything with the human body. I used to dream he was my dad." I sighed. "I was an idiot. Money just means you can hide being an asshole better."

Miranda drew her mouth into a tight line and her shoulders hunched ever so slightly. "It wasn't a picnic." She scooted closer and cupped my cheek with her hand ever so gently. "But it didn't break me. And your mother didn't break you."

"No." We were scarred, maybe even screwed up. But weren't broken. The scared, abused children had grown up to become the heroes that would save the galaxy and make sure kids like Kevin had a childhood to enjoy. "No she didn't."

Miranda's fingers ghosted downward until she covered my hand with her own. She leaned against me, warm and solid. I liked the feel of her weight against me, her hand on mine. She exhaled, and some of the tension left her shoulders. I wondered how long it had been since she relaxed. Since I relaxed. I draped my free arm around her shoulders as she trusted even more of her weight to me. So this is how normal people do it. I could get to like normal.

The comm link was shrill. Miranda bolted upright as whatever affection we shared was buried under the prim, nervous guise of Dr. Solheim. "Yes… I see… Of course, I'll come to the lab directly." She cut the link. "Your results are back."

Ice poured through my veins and froze my muscles until my whole body clenched. The headaches were still there, but ever since Miranda had arranged these outings, they had receded in strength and duration. Always there, but bearable, like the catch in my knee after Elysium. Just another thing to get through. And now the call and the tightness in Miranda's face reminded me that this was no ordinary headache. "And?"

"And I don't know yet." She paced in front of me. "I need to see the results for myself, but…"

"But you already know what they are, don't you? You knew the first day you came here."

Miranda nodded slowly.

"Then why won't you tell me what's going on? You keep saying that it's treatable, but you act like l have a death sentence every time the topic comes up." I rose to my feet. Miranda's back was to me, but the muscles in her shoulders were as tense as mine. "I'm a grown man. And I'm not scared of surgery or whatever else. Would you rather tell me now out here, or in the office with Markham staring over your shoulder and the cameras recording everything?"

"I might be wrong."

"I thought you were never wrong?" When Miranda didn't turn around, I took a step toward her. "You've always kept secrets. I know that, and I try not to pry. I haven't asked why you left Cerberus. Liara gave me some dossiers the yahg had assembled on my team. I didn't even look at yours. But this is my health here, Miranda. Not yours. Please, just tell me."

She didn't move. "As I said, you were exposed to an indoctrination attempt by Object Rho." Her voice was cold and dead. "Your implants drastically reduced the damage, but there was still damage. Exposure to infrasound has altered your brain chemistry very subtly. If the Reapers make any further suggestions, even that indomitable Shepard will won't be able to save you. There is a way to guard against those suggestions, but…"

I hated 'but's. They never meant anything good. "But what?"

"The only known counter to indoctrination was being exposed to Thorian spores. Trading one master for another. I believe we could replicate the effects and make you effectively immune to indoctrination."

She finally turned to face me. Pain etched lines on her face, making her look old and tired. "The only way to save you is to implant a control chip."