We Would Have

If given the chance they would have, taking his own advice, Brax just had to let her know.

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I couldn't help myself :)

I think I almost launched out of my chair when Heath asked Brax that question. It was a beautiful scene and episode.

This is my tweaked version.

It's short but I hope you enjoy it.

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"Did you and Charlie ever think about getting married?"

The question came out of nowhere, Brax had no time to prepare and out of anyone to ask, the question came from Heath.

"Don't give me that look, it was just a question."

Brax didn't know he was giving Heath a look.

"Why?" Brax asked, harsh and to the point.

Heath exhaled loudly and Brax realised that he was silently debating whether to confide in his older brother.

"Bianca brought up the whole marriage thing."

"And?"

"I said I wasn't interested and now, I'm in the doghouse."

"And you can't figure out why?"

"No, I know why I just don't get why you need a piece of paper to prove you love someone?" Heath confided.

"Have you told her you love her?"

"I don't know, probably."

"Probably? Probably, isn't going to keep you warm at night if anything happens to her. You're going to have to do a lot better than probably."

"Why, what's the rush?"

"You've got a kid together, Bianca wants to know you're sticking around, that you're going to be there for the long haul."

"Of course I am."

"Heath, when a girl like that brings up the idea of spending her life with a boof head like you, go with it."

"Did Charlie?"

"Did Charlie what?"

"Bring up the idea of getting married."

"We both did."

Heath's eyes widened and to say Heath was surprised at the answer was an understatement.

Heath had never pictured Brax to be a settling down type of guy and Heath was hit with a pang of guilt at not giving Brax's relationship with Charlie a chance.

Brax continued the conversation.

"She's the best thing that happened to you, mate. Don't take it for granted."

"I'm not."

"Heath, do you love her?"

Heath didn't answer, he didn't have to, Brax could see the look in his eyes.

"Tell her," Brax ordered.

"It's not that easy."

"Things aren't always easy."

"Our relationship is complicated."

"You think ours wasn't?" Brax yelled unable to control himself.

It was frustrating, it felt like, all round him people were slowly forgetting about Charlie and what she meant to him, what they had.

"I didn't mean that," Heath backtracked. Brax could tell from the look on his younger brother's face that he had meant no harm in the words.

"Well what did you mean?" Brax asked in an attempt to calm down.

"Bianca could be my Charlie," Heath admitted softly.

"Could be," Brax agreed as a strong wave of jealousy took hold of him, he tried to keep him voice steady. "Then again, I hope she's not."

"Why?" Heath asked, taking offence to the comment.

"Because, things with Charlie didn't turn out like I thought they would in case you haven't noticed. We didn't get a happily ever after."

"No, but you might have."

"But we didn't."

"But you still could."

"Not without her."

The words came out automatically and instinctively. The complete truth and very confronting.

Brax knew as soon as he told Charlie Buckton he loved her for the first time, regardless of the fact that they were mid argument, the second he told her those words, his world changed. Nothing would be the same from that day and it wasn't.

Her death took all of that with her. All of his hopes and dreams. She was his everything and without her, he had nothing. He knew how pathetic it sounded, but, it was true.

"It's pretty funny getting love advice from you," Heath scoffed half-heartedly.

"Why?" This time Brax was the one who was offended.

"I guess you're the expert now with your little love triangle with Natalie... and a ghost."

Brax looked up sharply.

Heath wasn't blind, he saw how much pain Brax was still in and he saw the effort that Brax took to hide it from the world.

A ghost.

Heath gave Brax a funny smile, almost sad and pitying before he turned and left. Brax didn't know if Heath was trying to be helpful or insightful but it didn't matter.

Brax couldn't describe the how he felt once Heath had disappeared out the door.

He wasn't angry at Heath, in fact he was happy that Heath had come to him about something so important, but he could feel the anger building up inside.

He was also slightly jealous of Heath and what he could have with Bianca but he was happy that at least his brother could have a happily ever after.

Most of all, Brax felt guilty.

If Heath thought that he had something special going on with Natalie then who else thought that? He didn't care about the rest, there was one person in particular he would need to set straight.

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The drive was short, the walk to the site was even shorter.

"So it's been a while," Brax said.

It was almost six months to the day that Charlie died. That was a long time for anything but six months of not having Charlie by his side; not feeling her warmth, hearing her laugh, seeing her smile; felt like an eternity.

Seeing the gravestone was hard, he'd known where it was for months and thought about visiting her often but he never did.

He still regretted not going to her funeral, but, what was a funeral going to do in the scheme of things. Would it have given him the closure he needed, the closure he still searched for? Would it have made the past six months any easier?

Seeing the gravestone made everything real, final. Standing on the grassy hill he couldn't pretend that she was coming back or dream that she was still around. She was gone.

A ghost.

Brax stood motionless while he paid his respects to the woman who, he had no doubt, was the love of his life. It was hard and Brax was glad he had brought along the bourbon to make the visit easier.

"I uh, don't know if you were listening or watching or whatever, but we would have," Brax said as he sat down next to her.

He waited for a moment as if he was waiting for a reply. He took a large gulp of his drink.

"We talked about it and joked about it now and then but uh, we would have."

He received no response, no sign that he was being heard so he continued.

"Gotten married," Brax explained.

More silence.

"I would have even let you propose," he teased and he clenched his teeth as he imagined the wide grin and incredulous laugh he would have received if he had had the chance to say it to her.

It was stupid, as if teasing her gravestone would entice a response.

Nothing.

"Nah, I would have proposed, you would have just had to say yes."

Another swig.

"I miss you."

A bigger drink.

"Heath thinks Bianca is his Charlie."

Brax studied the gravestone, it was simple, beautiful, and the photograph of Charlie only made his heart ache more.

"No one's going to take your spot, do you hear me? No one!"

The reality of the situation dawned on him suddenly. The love of his life was gone and here he was talking to a gravestone that would never give him the comfort he yearned for.

"A love triangle with a ghost how fucked up is that?" Brax asked harshly. He stood up and tried to take a calming breath.

"I don't love her, but I reckon you already know that," he said softly and he closed his eyes stopping the sting he felt in his eyes from turning into tears. She still had so much power over him and he wouldn't change that for anything.

"No one's in your league, remember?" Again the words were soft and at that moment he would have done anything, anything, to have her back in his arms.

Brax drank another few gulps of his drink.

"Are you going to say anything?" Brax demanded loudly. It was stupid, he knew he'd get no answer but asking the question helped.

"I don't know what to do Charlie?" Brax pleaded.

He moved to place the now, half empty bottle of Bourbon onto the top of her gravestone but he misjudged and it tumbled backward.

Brax exhaled loudly, he made no move to check his bottle, he knew that he would find the bottle either cracked or broken and the amber liquid spilling onto the grass.

He shook his head and smirked.

"Made that one nice and clear didn't you Serg?"

Silence.

He ran his hands through his hair and took some deep breaths.

He crouched down and gingerly ran a finger across the photograph.

He stood and moved to pick up the shards of glass, he walked to his car and threw them into the back before making his way back to Charlie.

Again he crouched beside her.

"I love you, Charlie. That won't change." Brax said.

He stayed there for some time. He studied her picture, although he didn't need to, her face was etched into his memory, a picture he was certain he would never forget. Brax stayed as long as he could and stood only when the sky slowly began to darken.

"I'll see you soon; I won't make it so long next time."

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:'( I had to, I could not just let that scene go by.

What did you think?

I am a little worried that that was H&As version of Brax saying goodbye, it was so wonderfully done though.

Please review. I really appreciate it :)

Thank-you.

xoxox