Author's Note: lol what is this? I don't...what? I was bored and watching deadpool related things and this magically popped into my head xD I'm also a big fan of Superfamily so =P Please enjoy my retardedness~

Steve looked up at the ceiling with a small frown as he stirred the pot of boiling tomato sauce.

"What's wrong?" Tony asked his husband, seated at the kitchen table tinkering on a small little device.

"Peter and Wade have been upstairs for an awfully long time..." Steve mused as he turned down the burner. "Tony, could you go check on them?"

"Check on them?" Tony repeated, stopping his tinkering to look up at Steve with a raised eyebrow.

"You know, make sure they're not...'fonduing'." The super soldier stuttered with a small blush at the word he had once mistaken as a sexual reference. "Dinner's almost ready anyways."

The superhero parents had recently found out about their son's attraction for the same team and that he had started dating a S.H.I.E.L.D mercenary. A S.H.I.E.L.D mercenary that was almost 7 years older than their teenaged son. None the less they were both supportive of Peter and his...choices, and it wasn't that the blond didn't trust their adopted son, he just didn't trust the other boy.

Tony gave a light chuckle. "Whatever you say darling." He said affectionately, lifting himself off of his chair as he made his way upstairs to Peter's room.

As Tony made his way up the stares he noticed that the door to Peter's room was closed. As he approached he could hear Peter and Wade talking from their room. Being a parent, he figured he was entitled to listening in on whatever his son was sharing with his too-old-for-him-in-Tony's-opinion boyfriend.

"Wow Wade, it's so big!" He could hear Peter.

"Impressed? I thought you would be." The assassin replied smugly. "Go ahead and touch it, it won't bite'cha."

"Can I really?" There was a pause. "Wow, it's so smooth."

"Yeah, I take good care of it."

"I can tell." Was that Peter...giggling?

Tony pressed his ear against the door to hear things more clearly. He must be hearing wrong right?

"Maybe I could take you back to my place and show you what this baby can really do?" Wade offered, an almost suggestive tone to his voice.

"Why don't you show me right now?" Peter taunted back, mimicking the older boy's accent.

Tony's eyes grew as wide as the dinner plates set up downstairs. His son was about to be deflowered by the merc-with-a-mouth! Not on his watch!

Opening the door as obnoxiously loud as he could, Tony barged into his son's room only to see Peter's hands all over the length of Wade's...sword?

"Uhhh..." Was all that managed to come out of the genius' mouth as he processed what the hell just happened in his mind.

"You ok Dad?" Peter asked cautiously as he gave his father a questioning look.

"Diner's ready..." Was all the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist could come up with.

Author's note: Again, wat dafuq was I thinking xD lol I'm sorry for wasting your time on this, I promise my fanfiction skills are...better =P I was just bored and have this weird obsession with Superfamily/Deadpool is the family friend/SPiderman's way-too-old-for-him boyrfriend and was also bored so...yeah this thing was born =P