Gambler

Synopsis: What Reborn had taught and went through to protect Tsuna, and the one time everything went too far. Tragedy, hinted 8018 and Ryohei x Hana.

Have a middle-of-August-lazy-days fanfic. It's one of those days.

Song of the day: Fiction (Beast)

Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. Any similarities in events or characters living or dead are entirely coincidental.

Enjoy!

Gambler

They say life is like the dealer; and you, the player. Once they deal the cards, there's no turning back, and if the hand is hard, well, pity on you. The concept of pity could don every face without a hitch though, hence the broken-hearted people wandering the streets, haunting the empty spaces, and gazing longingly up at the sky, hoping for some kind of miracle. But life wasn't that sweet. Since when has it ever been fair?

Tsuna felt like he fell under the latter, but at the same time, wasn't completely worse off than most people. Yes, his life was unfair. He had the worst luck in the world. People bullied him, he had a hard time making friends, and he could hardly relate to his innocent, naïve mother, and lazy, no-good father. The girl he loved didn't care for him. He failed school. But above all else, he was being targeted by the Italian mafia to take over some powerful-as-hell family just because he and the first boss were related by blood.

Seriously? Seriously?

It was nearly enough to make him want to crawl under a rock and wish he'd never been born, but the arrival of Hitman Home Tutor Reborn, also known as the tutor of hell, Spartan trainer, evil sensei, demon teacher, etcetera, etcetera, who made it crystal clear the day of his appearance that firstly, future bosses did not hide and secondly, Tsuna was going to take on his role whether he liked it or not.

Within ten minutes of their meeting, Tsuna had already been dragged out from under the imaginary rock and was wishing tenfold he hadn't even been called into existence. Brutal shit, man.

At first, Tsuna had been in full denial, but as time progressed, even he had to admit things were looking up for him. And whether he liked it or not, Reborn had played the largest part in making the impossible more than possible. For once, he had friends, near and far, all who accepted him for who he was and cared for him despite his faults. He made many enemies along the way, but as he overcame them one by one, Tsuna realized that he was getting stronger and stronger each day. And one day, he finally understood how much Reborn had done for him.

But it wasn't until it was far too late that he realized exactly how much he'd underestimated his tutor's unconditional sacrifices for his well-being, and realization had struck him then like a bitch slap from fate.

In the beginning, it was easy to hate Reborn in his baby form. Tsuna almost hated himself for being such a cold person in the beginning (hating on a baby? Not very manly) until Reborn employed the ten-ton hammer as an alarm clock. Things pretty much went downhill from there. But when Tsuna fought against Mukuro despite really, really, really not wanting to, he blinked for a moment or two when he thought about how he'd defeated the said man. What was it called; Hyper Dying Will? All Tsuna knew was that he'd been shot by some special bullet, found new mittens to wear and literally beat the lights out of Mukuro. It felt like a herd of elephants had trampled over him once he snapped out of his bullet-induced haze, but never in his life had he felt so…in tune with himself. He could feel every single thing around him. It was like his nerves were on fire. His surroundings were ten times clearer, like high definition, and every move his enemy made was slowed down enough for him to watch, assess, and retaliate. For the first time in his life, Tsuna had a tiny smidge of confidence in his abilities.

He vaguely remembers Reborn telling him he'd be using the Hyper Dying Will Mode from now on. Tsuna didn't argue, because he felt better fighting that way then the usual gimmick of running around in his boxers. Even if the HDWM left him feeling like he'd been doing squats with a hundred pound brick on his back for twenty-four hours.

The Varia had been fucking terrifying.

To this day, Tsuna still isn't sure how he made it out of that one alive.

Sure, the fight against Xanxus still gives him shivers when he thinks about it, but if Tsuna were to be completely honest with himself, the fact that his safety and the namesake of the Vongola had been balancing on the thinnest of lines had not been his greatest concern.

It was his friends' lives at stake that had him twisted apart on the inside.

Watching every single one of them battle had been nerve-wrecking. Tsuna felt his heart give way every time Lussuria threw Ryohei against the red-hot bars of the arena; every time Levi bore his umbrellas down on the tiny Lambo. His fear soared whenever Squalo's sword met with Yamamoto's; when Gokudera jerked back from the hundreds of tiny knives Bell threw at him; and when Chrome collapsed because of her failing organs before Mukuro took over. By the time the whole Rings affair was over, Tsuna was almost certain he'd acquired more than a few white hairs.

If there was one thing that Tsuna realized was irreplaceable from that fight, it wasn't all the ridiculous amount of damaged property, the previously unmarked skin now filled with scars, or even the Vongola Rings.

It was his friends. That was what he could not give up.

Reborn had scoffed loudly at Tsuna when the brunette pointed that fact out one day when the two were lounging around in his bedroom (more like Reborn was lounging around and Tsuna was cowering under his bed from the intimidating form of the Leon gun), but had also left Tsuna to his own thoughts. Vaguely, Tsuna wondered if Reborn approved him cherishing those around him.

Or maybe the hitman just liked the fact that their allies were alive, but Tsuna was now learning to think otherwise.

Sometimes, it wasn't always battles and blood and mafia-style training. Okay, maybe it was always training, but this particular lesson took Tsuna a little longer to catch on. Whenever his mom needed something from the store, or had a little trouble reaching a plate tucked near the very back of the cabinet, if Reborn ever got wind of it, he'd shoot a bullet in Tsuna's direction with a very adorable baby smile (read: evil smirk fit for the devil himself) and requests (demands) that Tsuna does whatever his mom wanted to.

That was something Tsuna spent most of his time complaining up a storm about, and the only thing he really felt justified in arguing. Yes, Reborn can pull shit over him under Nono's orders, yes, Reborn can beat him up with his stupid gadgets and mortally embarrass him, and yes, Reborn is at perfect liberty to treat Tsuna like a slave for his own personal enjoyment even, but ordering the brunette around the house in likeliness of his no-good, drunken father was taking it one step too far. Perhaps it was because of the continuous absence of a male-lead figure in his life and the aching loneliness that had inhabited his chest since childhood, but Tsuna couldn't find it in his guts to respect Reborn whenever he bossed him in that particular situation. Why should he get to act like the man of the house when his own mother doesn't even bug him to get her things?

It wasn't until the whole fiasco in the future that Tsuna finally understood the reason behind Reborn's demands, and realization hit him harder than a speeding train.

For the first time in his life, Tsuna had no parents.

Not literally, perhaps, but even then there was no guarantee that his mom and dad were safe, or could even remain safe. It was an odd, hurtful feeling, because in his whole life, Tsuna had always had his mother by his side, and by extension, even his father. Iemitsu was never home often, but Tsuna had always known that he was out there, somewhere. In the future, he didn't have the luxury of assuming. Everything was shrouded in darkness, and a new kind of dread had learned to breed in Tsuna's heart.

He supposed that that was the time he and Reborn grew closest together. All of the acrobaleno were dead, and like a species left behind, Reborn was alone, forced to wear that ridiculous monkey-suit to protect himself from the dangerous rays Byakuran was pumping into the atmosphere (it was ridiculous in Tsuna's opinion. Reborn probably thought it was fabulous). Tsuna had never really thought about it, but he supposed that there might be the slightest chance Reborn was afraid when he was first thrown into the future by Lambo's ten-year-bazooka. Did the radiation hurt? Was he lost? Did he try to seek help from their allies, only to realize most were missing, others forced into hiding, and many more were dead? Was there a chance that, maybe, Reborn had to brace himself for the worst and actually felt fear?

Of course, then Tsuna gets kicked in the face when he was sent to the future by the said hitman, and all thoughts of a vulnerable, teary Reborn is booted to kingdom come.

But he gets the gist though. That little moment he shared with Reborn after his initial meltdown will always be tucked safely into the corners of his memory, because Tsuna will never forget that regardless of all the big talk, big guns and an even bigger ego, Reborn is still (a baby?)human, and because he'd always suspected that Reborn could read minds. This time, his tutor had taught him not to take things for granted, because what he had in the past may not necessarily remain the same in the future. Nothing was ever predictable.

And suddenly, Tsuna didn't care if he had to take another plate down from the cabinet or run to the store for a box of salt anymore; hell, he'd remodel the whole house and buy the entire supermarket out for his parents if need be.

One day, Reborn leaves unannounced and returns a full-fledged adult. The whole affair was celebrated with a party at Take Sushi and a lot of unspeakable, embarrassing games only the highly insane hitman could think of.

Now it was all about the time period of post-adult Reborn's return, and Tsuna was starting to realize that the small things in life sometimes mean the most, and for a while things calmed down enough for Tsuna to actually enjoy life (maybe). He still refused to think about the whole Enma issue, because for the first time in his life Tsuna had met someone nearly as pathetic as he was, only to have that image scoured by Enma's surprisingly evil side. That was only temporary, or course, due to an awful misunderstanding. Tsuna also refused to contemplate on the whole Acrobaleno Wars any longer than necessary; it only added to the list of things he thought Reborn was doing to spite him (how wrong he'd been). After a lot of yelling, creepy eggplant hairstyles and babies hiring teens to fight for them, new friendships had been forged, issues had been resolved and Tsuna was seriously wondering when he can finally stop fearing for his life. He wasn't even out of middle school yet, damn it.

Unhelpfully so, it was also right about now he realized how much he'd come to depend on the hitman.

And oh, god, Tsuna finds himself thinking wildly at times, please tell me that those aren't feelings he's developed for the sadistic, drop-dead sexy man? Also, his complete lack of ability to mask his attraction towards other people (Kyoko never noticed because she was indeed a little too innocent and dense) became something of an inside joke to his family every time Tsuna attempted to ask for help.

"You shouldn't be so nervous, boss," Gokudera noted professionally. "Reborn's mean to you at times, but he's a genius, and he's strong. He can definitely protect you!" Tsuna had to casually remind his right-hand-man that Reborn alone took up 90% of the reasons why he always ended up in the hospital.

"Just go for it!" Yamamoto laughed while he crashed out on the bleachers with Tsuna one day after school. "If it doesn't work out, you can always say you tried. Besides, Reborn's older and mature. He won't hold it against you." Tsuna refrained from pointing out that despite regaining his adult form, Reborn still hogged the remote and ate all the potstickers at lunch.

"Why are you bothering me with such trivial matters?" Hibari snapped, glasses flashing as he glared at Tsuna over the top of his paperwork. Turns out the raven only had eighteen-twenty vision and needed reading glasses, who knew? (Yamamoto probably did. Obviously.) "Just fight him and see what he thinks, herbivore." Tsuna wasn't even going to waste his time elaborating on all the things that could go wrong on that one.

Asking Mukuro for advice was out of the question. It was stupider to even consider Ryohei. Lambo's already wet himself three times since Reborn changed back and Tsuna's not about to give himself more troubles to worry about.

In the end, it's Chrome who offers him the right amount of sympathy and the best words of wisdom. "Why don't you try to spend some more time with him, boss?" she asked softly as they strolled down the street together. "Not just training, but see where he goes to say, for lunch, or what he does when he has some time off. You're used to him as a baby but not really as an adult, right? If you don't find anything in common, just take a step back."

Tsuna's rather impressed by one of his mist guardian's advice and he promises to treat Chrome to lunch one day before high-tailing it out of there because Mukuro's threatening to surface again.

Shockingly, Reborn doesn't seem to actually mind Tsuna tagging along with whatever he does. Most of their time is spent arguing and fighting and childishly imitating a power struggle over the mafia thing, but there are moments when they also headed out to the coffee shop five minutes away from home for a drink and a donut, or wandered around the park, taking naps under the shades of the trees when they're both worn out from work. Perhaps he couldn't get away with certain antics as an adult that he could have as a child, but Reborn, as a person, was much milder than Tsuna had originally thought. His emotions were still almost carefully controlled at all times, although the time Tsuna spent with the hitman wasn't as awfully scary as he'd first thought it to be.

It took maybe a good year and a half of skirting around and mixed emotions on Tsuna's part until they finally managed to get themselves onto the same page. It hadn't been the best time, really; they were smack in the middle of a failed negotiation with a seedy family Tsuna had originally tried to reason with and were fighting for their lives, but either way, it seemed to work out.

"What I don't understand," Reborn grumbled under his breath as he crouched behind the desk, "Is your complete faith in the fact they could have been an asset. Haven't you learned anything from me after all these years?"

"I learned not to give up," Tsuna mused, eyes glowing orange as he peered cautiously around the ruined piece of furniture. "They could be a lot of help with anything relatively shady in the mafia. Didn't you also teach me to use those around me?"

"Not to the point where we'd be hiding under a desk to avoid getting our heads blown off," Reborn shot back, turning on his knees to fire several shots at their enemies. There were a couple of loud cries and thuds as the goons fell to the ground, bullets through their heads.

"It's not like you can't wiggle your way out of it," Tsuna teased, drumming his fingers idly on his knee.

"I don't do wiggling," Reborn snorted. "I tend to be a little more elegant than that."

Tsuna just smirked in reply. It's been several years at least since he first met the baby version of Reborn, and a very, very long time since the atrocious acrobaleno had literally blown his way into Tsuna's life. Fortunately, he wasn't the soft fifteen year old anymore, now almost twenty years old, and he was slightly more immune to Reborn's snide remarks. Judging by the look on hitman's face, the other seemed to think so too.

"When'd you start smirking like a pervert?"

"I'm not a pervert!" Tsuna exclaimed as shots skimmed the floor around them.

"True; I haven't taught you everything yet," Reborn snickered. Tsuna almost flushed, but he simply turned up his nose and waited for the sound of the gunfire to die out; that's when he could use his moves.

"How would you know I haven't learned anything by myself?" Tsuna asked conversationally. Reborn raised an eyebrow in dry humor.

"Dame-Tsuna, have you even kissed somebody yet?"

Perhaps it was impulse, or maybe it was the excessive amount of pent-up emotional frustration, but despite the utter lack of romantic atmosphere and the dangerous setting, Tsuna leaned over and pressed his lips firmly against the hitman's.

Reborn's jaw went slightly slack for about one-twelfth of a second and perhaps that was the only real time Tsuna had ever seen Reborn surprised. The brunette forced himself to move his lips, working only on instinct, and when Reborn's hand snaked around to pull Tsuna even closer, some sort of internal relief and happiness swept over his heart. Finally, closure.

When they parted, the way Reborn grinned could only be described as devilishly.

When they started dating, things practically shot by them, swarmed by the amount of long-delayed feels and the exasperated but pleased "About time!" from all their friends. Reborn was a sly but gentle lover; he'd trick Tsuna for kisses but completely shower him with affections in return. It was completely out of character and a very shocking, but who was Tsuna to say that he really knew his boyfriend beforehand? Now was his time to figure him out.

Iemitsu was comically flabbergasted upon receiving the news, but his mother was almost the biggest fangirl Tsuna had ever met. He strongly suspected that she had known about his feelings all along and had been keeping a careful eye on the two of them this whole time. Nonetheless, there was no opposition, and even Nono sent a card over congratulating them. Pretty soon, their relationship was the center of the gossip in the whole wide world of mafia (didn't people have better things to talk about?) but Tsuna didn't really mind. He'd rather people blather over happy things than tidings of war and death.

When Tsuna turned twenty-one and officially took over the Vongola, Reborn watched on in the front row, unintentionally seated next to Verde, and actually went through the whole reception without even twitching a finger to his gun, just for Tsuna. What happens afterwards, though, is an entirely different story, but Tsuna would never forget the feeling of standing before so many people, all of his friends, his hard-acquired allies, and be so damned proud to show himself off as a product of Reborn's efforts. He'll never let his boyfriend down.

Mukuro makes a humorous jab at them the day after, asking if it's going to be like a forbidden romance in the office setting now that Tsuna's the boss and Reborn is technically the underling. Needless to say, it ends in blood.

Sometime later but not too much later, Ryohei marries Hana, and at the wedding, Tsuna couldn't help but gaze wistfully at the newlywed couple, wondering what if. He's surprised by an arm around his waist, and Reborn's next words whispered into his ear.

"You want something like that?"

Tsuna thinks that might be the closest thing to a proposal he'll ever get from his boyfriend. That, or a full-on celebration complete with over-the-top champagne and a whole restaurant booked out and fireworks and a neat silver band, as Tsuna finds out two months later.

And then his life once again demonstrates unfair to him in the form of Reborn shoving Tsuna aside in a mission gone completely wrong, and is shot through the chest.

There was no reason to lie; gained it all because of Reborn. Tsuna now had the ability to make friends and the strongest family in the world of mafia under his command. He could fight for what's important in life. He learned how to face his enemies head-on with no need for fear. And most of all, he finally understood how to have confidence in himself. To hold his chin up high with a steely gaze and think I can do this.

Tsuna knew he started out a weakling, and the nicknames of Dame Tsuna and No-Good had been, regrettably, truthful. But he wasn't that anymore. He wasn't that much of a loser anymore. One might argue that his sense of justice would be his downfall (something Mukuro wasted no time informing him once Tsuna got him out of Vindice), but that was his trademark. Above all, Tsuna had learned not to sacrifice himself for an image others wanted to project upon him.

He owed it all to Reborn, and Tsuna knew it. So when the heart monitor dipped, flat lined, and gave a pitiful, agonizing wail, it took Tsuna's heart with it. The brunette stood wordlessly by his tutor's bedside, eyes glassy and his mind completely blank, only able to register one thing: Reborn was gone. And as amazing as the man was, as stubborn of an asshole he was, as much as Tsuna loved him, and as much as the Reborn deserved to live, he wasn't with them anymore.

One would think that the person who literally gave Tsuna a new life to work with deserves more than a bullet through the heart.

But sadly, life wasn't fair.

Ever.

And this time, the odds finally won against them.

End

Thank you for taking the time to read! I hope I'll have the time to write chapter-stories for R27 :D Love you guys!

-BlackStar