Raine's grip on his arm held steady, like her bones were fastened together with bits of steel and iron, and she had no problem lifting him out of the mud and into her embrace. At first, a kind motion, but Zelos quickly realized she was feeling him for wounds and body size—to attest if he truly was as small as he looked, or if the clothes were just simply too big. She then removed her cloak, a warm color of brown fashioned in men's styling, and put it over their heads so they could walk together without the needling of sleet on their skin. Her eyes flickered to his chest, his crystal, and then back up to his face.

"We're not far from my home," she told him. He nodded a few times, still shaking despite not feeling the ice that was beginning to coat their eyelashes. She blinked the shards away from her own eyes. "Can you walk with me?"

Zelos nodded, and then they walked. Her, prestigious and wise, pressed against his side to keep the cloak over their heads, and him, weak and bloodied and disgustingly filthy, padding alongside her like a broken doll. Sometimes when he spared glances at her face, he thought of her infectiousness and swallowed. And other times, he saw the unmistakable aura of half-breed in her features, and, at those times also, he swallowed again. Because a half-elf who knew his name could never want to help him, and Zelos was unsure if he could stand being hated by Raine now that she'd shown him such kindness.

The billow of smoke from the small cabin was the first thing he saw, and then he could hear the crackle of wood burning inside. It looked so far removed from where he'd been found—how did Raine know to search him out? He decided that he didn't want to know.

She walked him up the steps, careful, and then opened the door and pushed him lightly inside. "Go sit by the fire," she ordered. Zelos saw no reason to ignore her, so he did as she told him to do. He settled against the wall by the fire place, exhausted and unfeeling, and stared into the red flames for only Martel knew how long. He only blinked away from the sparks when Raine returned with warm clothes and a quilt in her hands, which she slapped down onto the floor.

"Are you scared or mute?" She knelt down next to the supplies and began to strip him down without asking. Zelos pulled back, suddenly awake, and narrowed his eyes.

She patiently reminded him, "New clothes won't do you any good if you don't take these off first," and continued the process with a healer's objectivity. Her fingers tugged his hair out of the way and twisted it over his shoulder so she could fuss over the wounds. When she got to a particularly nasty, gored piece of flesh, she'd glance up when she applied pressure. Raine's lips flattened when he didn't react, but she continued anyway until the last piece of interest was the cruxis crystal around his neck.

Her fingers danced around the crest until her tips touched the bottom of his jaw. Zelos was left to involuntarily gulp back his nerves once more. She smirked every time he shuffled or moved and then stared up at him with those sharp eyes as though she wanted to burn the shame into the helixes of his broken DNA.

Zelos pulled away from her, grabbed the clothes, and shoved them onto his shoulders. Raine leaned back, patient, and watched until Zelos had finally finished bundling himself up in blankets and clothes. Warmth and cold weren't parts of him, but blankets were undeniably comforting, despite how childish it felt at times to curl up like a wrapped pastry and ignore the world.

"I've thought about what I'd say to you if we ever met. For years—since I was a little girl."

Despite himself, his eyes darted over to take in Raine's expression. Her heartbeat was steady, her eyes were still holding that strong gaze with him. The only sign of any lack of composure was the tapping of her fingers along the outside of the muddied knee of her pants.

"You're the cause of a lot of grief for half-elves..." She stood up. "Or so I once thought." And she walked away from the fire to go into the kitchen, though she still spoke. "Luckily for you, I know prejudices don't root solely from the tragedy of one little boy." As she continued, her knowledge branched out wide—though his brain was having problems following even the simpler strands—and Zelos was suddenly reminded of that clear confusion-free gaze of Kratos, soon followed by a pang of nostalgia. He scrunched his nose up just as Raine returned with an already prepared sandwich. She set the plate on the floor in front of him and watched him turn away from the food back towards the fire.

"Are you sure?"

He nodded.

Raine shrugged and took the food back, taking a bite of it herself. When she swallowed, she continued her questions.

"Chosen one, why won't you speak? Do you hate us half-elves so much?" Her words trailed when he winced at his title. "… Zelos," she tried again, suddenly tentative at using a name with somebody so far above her status, "why won't you speak?"

Zelos looked away from the flames and mouthed the words.

I can't.

Raine's eyebrows pulled together.

"Why not?"

His breath hiccupped like a sob he wanted and couldn't have, before he tapped the crystal between his collar bones. When Raine remet his eyes, her face was somber.

She leaned forward and pressed her fingers against the crystal again, tracing along the lines and edges made of angel's gold as he began to shake again, even under so many layers of warmth.

"So, this is the journey of regeneration…" She murmured the words. Then, a whisper that felt like a gust against the ends of his matted hair, "I'm sorry for you."

Zelos yanked her fingers away with a vice grip, his fist wrapped around her wrist like animals' claws until the nails dug deep into her half-breed skin. Her breath left swiftly, but her courage did not, and she stared him down with her nose held high.

"For somebody so afraid of half-elves, you and I have more in common than you know."

What is that?

He articulated the words so the consonants snapped out even without his voice box. She only smirked.

"We're both hated just for being alive."

Only months ago, Zelos could have seen it coming from a mile away. But, instead, he jerked back in surprise when Raine shoved herself forward and their lips collided. In the past, Zelos would have sneered at the idea of really consummating with a half-elf, with ever walking into ones' home, and yet…

He melted and sunk backwards onto the floor, her fingers constantly preoccupied with his neck and the crystal until her kisses landed there too and Zelos was left almost convulsing with the fear and the pleasure and the fact that he was finally feeling something, despite all those weeks of not eating or sleeping or speaking.

He put his hands up and pushed her away with a semblance of strength. Raine stilled, shocked.

"Another lie in your reputation, Chosen?" Her sarcasm leaked.

Zelos shook his head and grabbed up, until his hands were wrapped around her body and Raine went tense. Finally, she eased beside him, looking his face over for an answer.

"I guess I misread you." She tugged away to leave.

Zelos pressed his hands into her more, thirsty for the touch of skin pressed against skin. He forced himself to kiss her, and she stopped him with her hand.

"So sad. You are… So sad. More than I could have ever thought." Raine let her fingers dance along his neck and he kept his nose buried into the muscle of her neck. In the quiet, he shook. Raine only tsked and let him claw at her like a starved animal at a carcass.

This new world was not a world where he was no longer on the journey to give himself away, to die, but a world in which he was hated for being alive—destined to die—and now was encompassed in sharing a moment of wordless wonder with a woman who understood too how easy it was to become an idea of a person. Whether it be her life as a half-breed monstrosity or his birthright of martyrdom, they were two figures dancing together, forbidden, alone, and now understood. If only for a moment. And words could only have clouded it. His words would never have allowed such a moment to happen.

Raine tangled her fingers in his hair. He shut his eyes and let it happen.

"Will you die?"

He nodded.

"Do you want to die?"

Zelos froze and turned away from Raine's interrogation. The small sniff she gave sounded like a smirk, and sure enough when he opened his eyes again, she was smirking once more—eternally amused by the prospect of his death.

"The desians are looking for you," she told him, "The renegades as well… Cruxis too."

Zelos's eyebrows pulled together. The desians he knew of, vaguely, and he'd met the renegades already. But Cruxis? Like his crystal? Like the angels? They already had him, why would they be looking?

"You will probably always die," Raine's hands stilled over the crystal. "In fact, it's inevitable for all of us… But you can always pick who you die for. You can always make a deal."

Did you make a deal?

Raine shook her head a little too quickly. "No. No… I don't have the stomach to involve myself in these politics anymore. I like living out here, away from the chaos, rescuing stray chosen's when they come across my cabin." She smiled fondly at him, but it faded just as fast.

"No, I did not make a deal… But somebody who is looking for you has. If he sees you here, I can't make promises as to what might happen."

He thought back on the chase in Calaiste, how Regal and Sheena had been arrested and he was so very alone now. Zelos straightened up from his lying position so he could look around the room.

"What is it?"

Paper.

Raine swiftly obeyed, left, and came back with a piece of paper and a pen. Zelos clenched the pen, took a deep breath, and began. If only Regal had been there to see him write so much. Sheena would have been proud too.

I was separated from my friends. Regal Bryant and Sheena Fujibayashi. The Renegades attacked us in Calaiste and I was the only one to escape. I heard them say they were taken by a man named Yuan to their base. I need to find them. Will you help me?

I have two mercenaries who I also was separated from at the Southern Abbey. We can find them if you think we need more help.

And then, for some semblance of humor he couldn't quite shake:

Please check your answer:

Yes

No

She read through the paper quickly, smiled at the end boxes, and asked, "Is there a maybe option?"

He leaned over and swiped his finger under the word No.

Raine took the pen from him, made her check, and handed back the sheet. It read:

Yes

It occurred to Zelos, after the third day on the road with Raine, that he knew very little about her. He knew, certainly, that she was ostracized, intelligent, mysterious, courageous, and doubtlessly merciful. He knew she was curious, because she stopped and looked at things even in the cold, iced forest outside of Calaiste like they held unfathomable beauty, though Zelos couldn't see it past the snow. He could spot eager adrenaline coursing through her veins when she dragged him by the arm to look at things—he couldn't say what the things were, life got so cloudy sometimes… But what brought Raine to the cabin and caused her to isolate herself, or what made her so willing to help him? No, Zelos didn't know that.

She walked with a steady pace through the woods with him. Regal's clothes had been dried and now were wrapped tight around him with the help of a few more layers of clothing. Raine did not fret in the traditional sense like Regal and Sheena did. She checked him in ways that felt medicinal.

When he came close to entering the fog, Raine grabbed his hand.

"Does that help you stay grounded?"

Turned out that it didn't. He dissociated with her hand in his.

"I've read many stories about the chosen's journeys," she told him later, "I'm a bit of an expert now. I can't read angelic as well as you probably can, but I can read the translations and the history."

Raine rubbed her thumb over his hand when Zelos started blanking out again.

"You keep dropping off when I bring up the journey," she said. "You keep running from it. You can't beat it if you run from it."

Zelos pulled his hand away and shoved it into his pocket.

What did she know? A half-elf was one thing, but at least she could go into town. There was a whole label dedicated to her awfulness, clubs of people just dying to be hated together. He was one of one. The only chosen one to speak of in the world.

"Most, if not all, chosens hate the journey, did you know that?" Raine mused. "There are ruins here, far away from where the church can touch, of the old journeys… The terrified figures. They were escorted by parties who were there to protect, but also ensure the goals of the church."

Her arms reached out wide. "They'd tie the chosens down in carts and drag them from shrine to shrine to ensure they did not die. There are journals of townsfolk who could recount the cries of the chosen as they passed through the villages, weeping for help."

Zelos grabbed her arm and stopped her short. Raine blinked and turned to him expectantly.

Stop, he mouthed.

Raine paused and stared into his eyes.

"It's happening to you, Zelos. It's why I bring it up at all." She narrowed her eyes. "They are using you until there is nothing left. Your mind is ill and it has nothing to do with the angelic process. You are emotionally not ready for this."

She pulled away from his hand and offered the notebook. "Do you have something to say to that? Or will you leave again, forced back into your head where they can't hurt you anymore? Or will you stay with me, and let me tell you what you need to know?"

Zelos's hand slipped down to his side and he looked away from her once he realized she wouldn't back down first.

"You cannot trust anybody, Zelos." Raine reached up to force him to look back at her. "Not even me. Do you understand?"

There were no tears, but the desperation in her voice was tangible in the grip she held on his face. He nodded.

"Good." Raine released him. "Let's move on."

Raine was smart and Zelos was no idiot either, but they knew that a Renegade base would be difficult to infiltrate, even for them. The idea was to find Lloyd first, back track along the shores until they found a docking where the red mercenary would likely pass through. Raine's thoughts were that, if Kratos and Lloyd had only stayed back to talk, that Lloyd wouldn't be far behind on his path to catch up with them at Calaiste. The sentiment seemed sound—just a day of sorting through the problems between the two would be enough to get them back on the trail. So they headed for the shore, Zelos not bothering to double check the map he didn't have.

Raine brought their journey to a stop outside of a city of ruins. "How many ruins have you seen so far?"

Zelos sneered and didn't answer.

Raine almost laughed. "They're more fun without the regeneration, I assume." Her sense of humor was sick. She bounced up the steps of the ruins, her hands running alongside the railing. Zelos crossed his arms uncomfortably.

Raine scampered over to him, grabbed his hand, and then dragged him back over to the stone. "Can you read this?" she demanded. Her finger poked the carvings in Angelic. Zelos shrugged her off of him and took a few steps away. He nodded, to humor her, but that was all she'd get.

"Stop moping. Tell me what it says."

He shot her a glare, crossed his arms tighter, and looked anywhere but at the ruins. Raine dragged her feet back over and she pressed into his side, all curves and padding underneath her clothes. She pushed the notebook and pen they'd been carrying around since the cabin back into his hand. "Tell me what it says."

He looked back at the words. It wasn't a ruin like the seals had been, but instead a ruin of stories.

On the block in front of him, the pictographs detailed a figure in religious garb (not unlike himself until the journey had gotten too violent) tied to carts and surrounded by guards. Raine rested her hand on his arm and whispered, "They will do anything to see this through to the end, and they can be anyone. Do you understand?"

Zelos shook her off and whipped around to stare at her. Every word she spoke now felt more and more like a warning, and yet she kept moving closer to him. Each step matched with the advice that he should run and he felt unavoidably afraid and confused of what was to come.

"Do you want me to leave you yet?" she asked.

Despite everything, he shook his head no. He couldn't bear to be alone, not anymore.

She frowned.

"Chosen!"

Raine's head jerked aside towards the voice—the familiar, deep, masculine voice. Zelos's reaction was a little more lulled—she sent his senses in hundreds of directions away from hypersensitivity—and his legs went weak when he saw the two mercenaries running towards them. Kratos led and Lloyd struggled to keep up behind him. Raine held Zelos's bicep tightly in her hand and showed no signs of letting him go, even when Kratos slid to a halt. Lloyd stumbled to a pause just alongside.

"Chosen one," Kratos panted, "What were—Never mind. Never mind."

He seemed so… relieved? Zelos stepped back slightly into Raine and clenched his jaw. Kratos wasn't exactly the most trustworthy guy, but that didn't stop Zelos from feeling lightheaded. From just wanting to have people around who knew who he was and not kill him for it.

If Kratos made him feel faint, the sight of Lloyd made him feel positively nauseous. Before he knew it, Zelos was sinking to the ground, those weak knees finally giving out, and he sat down on the ruins with his legs spread out.

Kratos and Lloyd hurried forward. "Move," Kratos ordered Raine, and she stepped aside with quick answer. Lloyd grabbed Zelos by one arm, Kratos grabbed the other. "We can't stay here," Kratos told Zelos, though he watched Raine the entire time as they hoisted him off the ground. "The ruins are dangerous."

"They're not so dangerous," Raine assured.

"Who are you supposed to be?" Lloyd blurted at her.

Zelos puffed out a breathy, silent laugh and lulled against Kratos when Lloyd let go of him. The young man stepped forward and stomped with peacocking strength up to Raine. She lifted her chin up like a smug house cat.

"My name is Raine Sage. I found your friend in the woods during the storm."

Kratos, who had been looking Zelos over while Lloyd handled Raine, looked at her with caution. "Where did the wounds come from?"

"He told me he was attacked." Raine handed over the notebook to Lloyd. "It's all in there."

Lloyd blinked, took the notebook, and glanced over at Kratos and Zelos. "You didn't write in it for us," he said, hilariously offended. Zelos smiled again, but then he shut his eyes and sighed.

"Stop that," Kratos mumbled when Zelos started sliding down towards the ground again. "You're stronger than that." He jilted Zelos up with a forceful jerk until Zelos's head was completely resting on Kratos's shoulder. Just end it, man, Zelos wanted to tell him, just put me out of my misery for once.

"I was in the city of Calaiste with my comrades and was attacked by renegade leader, Yuan. My friends-…" He didn't need to have his eyes opened to hear the frown in Lloyd's voice as he read from the notebook. "My friends were arrested…"

Lloyd slapped the notebook shut. "We need to find them."

"The renegades have a base further along the shore," Raine said. "We were on our way there. We were also looking for you two." Then, with suspicion, "We were assuming you'd be traveling through towns."

"We're not obligated to travel by common pathways when we're not escorting," Kratos informed her. "You never answered Lloyd's question. Who are you?"

"I told you my name."

"You seem smart enough to gather that those two things, name and identity, are not synonymous."

"And you seem wise enough to know that first hand, Sir…?"

"Kratos."

"Well, Kratos," Raine began. "I am—"

"A half-elf who knows the location of renegade bases. Forgive me if I do not trust you, Raine Sage, but I find it very difficult to place any amount of confidence in your abilities." Kratos jilted Zelos again until his eyes opened. He lifted his head, drowsy and sleepless, to look at him in disinterest. Kratos scowled. "Did you give him anything?"

"You know as well as I do that he won't eat anything like this," Raine scoffed. She tried to step closer, but Lloyd drew first sword. "The journey is rupturing him."

"Don't even think about coming any closer," he growled.

"Stop this nonsense!" Raine barked. Zelos straightened up. "If you would just ask him, he would tell you I'm fine. We were on our way to get his comrades out of the base, and on our way to find you two as well. I will not be crucified for being a half-elf by mercenaries. The irony would kill me long before the bigotry could." She unsheathed her staff from the strap around her back, and pushed her way past Lloyd.

"If I recall correctly, his companions left because they could not trust you," Raine continued, "So spare me your judgement and allow me to help. I'm a healer."

Lloyd lowered his weapons and turned to Kratos in distress. The older of the brothers sneered and then used his free hand to point to a nearby tree. "Go stand there while we talk."

"Is there anything else I can do for you?" Raine's sarcasm was lethal. She walked away anyway, though her eyes never left the three men.

As soon as she stood by the tree, Kratos and Lloyd reeled on Zelos. "Yuan attacked you?" Kratos was firm, but something buzzed under the words. Whatever he and Lloyd had spoken about while they were separated had put something new inside him. Some sort of impatience to finish what they'd started. Zelos nodded.

"Was there anybody else with him? Did he fight Sheena and Regal? Did you see them being arrested or did you only see them fighting?"

Zelos frowned and turned to Lloyd for help. "Answer one at a time?" Lloyd suggested dumbly, evidently having forgotten about the notebook in his hand.

Zelos nodded, nodded, and then frowned again. "Did you see them being arrested?" Kratos tried again. Zelos nodded.

"Why would Yuan arrest them?" Lloyd asked.

"Bait. Yuan saw the chosen one walking around without his proper escorts—implying his current company means something to him. He goes in alone, and the Yuan has the upper hand in location and can overpower him."

Lloyd scowled and turned away. "You mean that he can kill him."

"Yes."

Zelos stared down at the earth again, constantly covered with the thinnest layer of ice that made the dirt snap underneath each step.

"How did she find you?" Kratos asked before pressing the notebook into his hand.

The pen felt heavy, hard to hold and harder to make sense of.

Kratos shook him.

"Come on," he growled. "If Yuan thinks he can't yield results with them, he will kill them. You know this. You've seen what he can do."

Yes, and it felt all so hopeless to resist.

He wrote anyway.

I ran.

Zelos dropped the notebook back into Kratos's lap and went to stand. His legs had trouble moving underneath him and he stumbled back down.

"He does that sometimes!" Raine yelled at seeing the brothers clearly struggling with Zelos. "Do you want my help or not?"

"Nope!" Lloyd quickly yelled back. "We are fine!" Then, under his breath, "Sybak know-it-all."

"Chosen one, there are desians and renegades throughout this area. These are transportation hubs for them, heavily dense with half-elves. You can't trust them here," Kratos warned. "I thought I didn't need to tell you such a thing, given your history."

Lloyd frowned at him. "Why did you tell her so much?"

Zelos sighed and ran his hand over the back of his neck and offered a shrug he could barely manage to finish. Kratos scowled and voiced the answer, albeit with a shamed tone.

"He was alone, and scared."

With that, Kratos stood and began walking towards Raine. "Stay with him," he said over his shoulder to Lloyd, "I will talk with her."

Lloyd scowled and eased down beside Zelos's side. "Those wounds look rough, man," he offered softly. "… You look rough, actually. Way worse than when we were at the abbey."

Zelos scoffed. It was hard to imagine what Lloyd expected. That the off-time might cure Zelos's voice and heart of everything that had happened. Instead, he'd been carted around like cargo and made to fight a battle he didn't believe in. He lost Regal and Sheena too…

"It's not your fault Yuan caught them," Lloyd firmly said.

Zelos shot him a 'oh really?' look. Given how incensed it made Lloyd, Zelos was sure it had worked.

"I mean it! It isn't your fault." Lloyd took a deep breath and crossed his arms. "I talked to Kratos about the trials, okay? He told me the next one will fix it. You'll get your voice back. The way he explained it, it's like a fast. You're just honing stuff before getting upgrades, or something like that. Aah…" Lloyd scratched the back of his head. "I don't know though. He explained it better."

Zelos grabbed the notebook back up.

Raine showed me ruins of old chosen journeys. They were tied down, tortured into continuing until they lost their minds. They were held to traveling by being chained to carts by mercenaries and lied to.

Lloyd read the words slowly, and Zelos could pinpoint the exact moment Lloyd got to the horror. He swallowed and looked back at Zelos.

"I know you don't trust him, but he would never do that."

Then with more vindication, "I would never let him do that." Lloyd scowled. "See, I'll explain it. I didn't explain it well enough before, but I got it now. Each journey gives you more properties. You'll be able to be your own keycrest by the end. You just aren't finished yet! It'll work out, I promise!"

As tempting as it was to sink into Lloyd's naivety, he was torn away from the promise to look towards Raine and Kratos and to see her walking away, back into the forest without even a goodbye in his direction.

"Is she leaving?" Lloyd yelled.

Kratos waited to answer until he was back beside the two. "Yes. She agreed that she is ill-equipped to assist in this journey. She will leave the fighting to the fighters."

Was that what she said? That didn't line up at all. Zelos stared through the forest and, ah, there she was, and she was looking back at him after all, with a worried expression painting those features of hers.

"Let us hurry to the base. I coordinated my map with hers and the locations lined up. We should be able to reach them soon and retrieve Duke Bryant and Sheena."

Lloyd nodded. He held his hand out to Zelos, but Zelos stood on his own, still locked on the direction Raine had left in.

"Come on, man. Just a bit longer. We're almost there," Lloyd urged. He put a hand on Zelos's shoulder to turn him away and back to the path he'd been taking with Raine.

"I see your reputation cannot be marred even without your speech, Chosen One," Kratos taunted.

Maybe that was all it was. Just good old lust rearing its head again. But he knew lust, and it didn't normally pair with the feeling of omniscience of Raine. How did she know about the bases, and why did she want him so badly to understand his situation with trust. It didn't benefit her to make him paranoid. Not in a way Zelos could figure out. Without Raine there to pull him out, Zelos stepped through the motions with a debilitating numbness attached to his bones. The sort of feeling that paired with the overarching need to sob, but never the time to do it.

Lloyd looked at Zelos for a long moment, then looked back to Kratos.

"Did they used to chain the chosens up? To get them to finish the journeys, I mean."

Kratos's eyebrows pulled together.

"Where did you hear something so ludicrous?"

Lloyd shrugged. "Nowhere I guess. Just wondering."

Kratos spared a glance at Zelos, but he was elsewhere again, hiding in the only safe place he had left.