Title: Mein Vatter, Mi Padre, Mon Pére

Fandom: Hetalia

Rating: T

Summary: Prussia, Spain, and France are responsible? They've been taking care of a child for years? Who's the father? Actually, not even Marianne Reneé Beilschmidt-Bonnefoy-Carriedo knows. Rated T because we are talking about the BTT.

Warnings: A bit of OOC from our favorite immature nations, but only in the first few chapters (hopefully)

A/N: Strange brainfart I had while hiking. May be crack-y at some points...I quite like it, though. Enjoy, my minions.

Igi: Oi, boys!

Prussia: *sighs* What now? You make us run around in circles for every one of your stories!

Igi: *insulted* Not every one! And be complimented! Besides, I gave you Marianne~

France: You know what would compliment me, mademoiselle-?

Igi: *unamused* Shut up, France. Oh, and Spain?

Spain: Siiiii?

Igi: My mom wants tomates...work on that, please?

Spain: Siiiii! *runs off*

Igi: ...darn, I wanted him to do the disclaimer. Prussia?

Prussia: *groans* Fine. The-Goddamn-Iron-Girl does not own France, Spain, Hetalia, or the Awesome me!

Marianne: Yeah...I'm the only one who has to stay around here.

Igi: I created you, Marianne! Jesus Christ!

Marianne: Whatever...as long as Prussia Vatter, Spain Padre, and France Pére are here too!

Prussia: Duh. That wouldn't be very awesome, Marianne!

Igi: Have this convo later, guys. On with the show!

Prologue- Marianne Reneé who?

Now here we see the scene set in a situation so familiar: The Bad Touch Trio have gotten in trouble again. But this is no instance of general Fuckery. They haven't painted the walls, hacked Germany's slide show, or bugged anyone.

No, this time, there's a human in the conference room...and they seem to know about the nations. Granted, this little human is only eight or nine, but knowing about personified nations? How does that come about, exactly?

Another strange thing about this scene is that the Bad Touchers look...different. Not shameful. Mad. Protective. Who is this girl?

The first thing that the other nations notice is that she's the spitting image of Prussia. Spitting. Image. Same cocky smile, same eyes, same pale hair. She's wearing a red sweater and a pair of jeans. England is the first one to speak after France quiets her.

"Who are you?"

She looks him in the eye.

"You must be Herr England! I've heard so much about you! I'm Marianne. Marianne Reneé Beilschmidt-Bonnefoy-Carriedo."

The Bad Touch Trio's faces change to something akin to pride. England gives them a quizzical look.

"Explanations?"

In the corner, Hungary and Japan's Yaoi gears are turning. France kneels down to Marianne.

"Marianne, cher, allez attendre à l'extérieur."

Marianne looks worried, but she nods, exiting the conference room. France stands up.

"Four years ago, we were leaving a conference, oui?"

"Estaba lloviendo, so we took the subway."

"And zhis is vhat happened..."