Yes, I know, the last thing I should be doing is starting another story but I've been dying to put this one up! I originally started writing this for a fanfic competition for SMASH! but I ended up starting too late so I was rushing like hell to just get it finished. I only just made it seconds before the deadline. Not only that there was a word-count limit which even after blowing way over, I realised was still not enough. Since it was so rushed I didn't end up winning but I loved the idea so screw it! I'm just gonna run with it and try again!

Enjoy and please review!

It was cold that day. North High wasn't the best of schools, not only academically speaking but financially as well, so buying heaters for every classroom, or even one for that matter is beyond their means so we all had to suffer, shivering through each class and battling hypothermia.

Well at least most of us did.

Haruhi wasn't at all fazed by the chills. In fact she even opened the window to let some cool air in. Very cool air. Too damn cool! The icicles still hung from my fingertips as I hesitantly approached the clubroom.

As per usual I asked myself: Why do I bother? Why do I keep coming here to this room where everything that can go wrong does indeed go wrong?

As per usual I didn't answer.

The last time I thought too hard about that some very bad things happened. Actually, very bad is an understatement. Suffice to say the world would have been changed forever if I hadn't saved the day.

Yeah that's right, I'm a hero. I'm a hero and yet I'm just an ordinary guy.

I think…

The door to the clubroom was shut but the gentle hum of the heater served enough of a clue that someone was in there. Considering the results of many unannounced entries in the past I gingerly rapped my knuckles on the hardwood door and waited for a reply.

…

There was no reply. But the heater was definitely on. That could only mean one thing however I still flinched while prying the door open. I squeezed my eyes shut in shameful anticipation of the inevitable embarrassed squeal of an unclothed young girl.

…

They say silence is golden. I must say I agree.

Thankfully there were no naked girls in the clubroom (For once) and so I let out an exasperated sigh. My entrance as usual went entirely unnoticed by the resident book-worm Yuki Nagato. Her head bowed, short hair framing her round little face, eyes glued to the pages of a book thick enough to be a suitable weapon in combat. She had a somewhat mystifying, doll-like quality to her. You would be forgiven for dismissing her as a mannequin. As if in a trance she devoured every tiny shred of information (I guess she would say data) our world has to offer. But then again she reads mostly sci-fi stories. Maybe she's just homesick and likes to read about other aliens?

Oh right…That…

Yeah, Yuki's an alien. That bit is kind of important.

She's a humanoid interface sent here by the Data Integration Thought Entity to observe and analyse the behaviours of a certain special person who caused an unusual and unidentified data explosion three years ago. If that sentence makes no sense to you whatsoever then I'm happy. It means I'm not the only one still confused. To be honest it would be very concerning indeed if you understood that.

But wait, there's more!

There's Mikuru Asahina, a time travelling goddess. Alright technically she isn't a goddess; she's just a low-ranking member of a secret society of time travellers. Her organisation sent her back in time to try and find the reason for a massive time quake that just so happens to coincide with that data explosion Nagato is investigating. Coincidence?

Well hang on, cause there's still Itsuki Koizumi left to be added to this nonsensical nonsense. Guess what he is. He's an esper. He was sent by 'The Agency' to observe that same special someone who caused some kind of event three years ago which gave him his powers in the first place.

Now I too was sceptical at first but I've seen enough to be absolutely convinced that these guys are genuinely who they claim to be.

You see I've travelled back in time, I've seen Nagato's freaky and unnatural powers and I've seen what Koizumi can do too. Now you're probably thinking: Where do I fit in with all this? Why would a normal guy like me be dragged into this mess?

The answer my friend, quite simply, is this:

I. Don't. Know.

Only one person on this earth knows the answer to that question but I sure as Hell won't be the one asking her. If you're feeling brave, might I suggest you ask her? But be careful though because it could result in a little bit of a problem. Nothing too serious, just the world possibly ending!

But seriously though…Don't!

Bad things happen to good people. Not to come across as arrogant or anything, but I'm a prime example of that. I've been through some crazy stuff that you wouldn't even believe! I'm talking about travelling back in time to save myself, going through the same Summer a couple of thousand times, fighting giant crickets (Yes you read right! Crickets!), kissing Haruhi-

Hang on.

Forget that last one. Not because it wasn't an ordeal, trust me I only did it because I was cornered by life and death and to be frank she was at the time the only girl on Earth. I just don't want my shameful secret to get out. I've tried repressing the memory but that kind of trauma isn't easily remedied. Not to say it wasn't…Entirely unpleasant…

Ahem!

Anyway you're probably curious about Haruhi now. Don't worry it's natural. Everybody is interested in her. All the girls wanted to get to know her, all the guys wanted to date her (Both of those, by the way failed miserably) and she's got the past present and future all in an uproar over whatever she did three years ago. The entire universe is practically lining up to meet Haruhi the allegedly time-distorting, auto-evolving, world-altering goddess.

See, our school isn't below average. Who else can proudly say "God attended this school." Not many I assure you. I wouldn't either but that's just because I'm not entirely sold on the idea of her being a god.

I mean sure she's strange, eccentric, loud, bossy, under-handed, manipulative, loud, has an unhealthy obsession with dressing (And undressing) Mikuru, unusually good at sports, the arts and anything else you could possibly be good at, highly intelligent, loud and unknowingly able to change the world to suit her every whim, but that doesn't make her a god now does it?

Does it?

Well anyway now that you know all the characters in what seems like a very poorly acted farce I guess I should get back to the story shouldn't I?

Nagato read in silence while I sat in front of the heater like a homeless man before a bonfire desperately trying to chase away the biting frost that made my hands turn blue. I breathed into the palm of my hands, stared at the mist billowing out from my cracked lips and offered my frozen extremities to the warmth of the heater. Nagato didn't even show the slightest reaction to the wintry chill. Just kept on reading.

Mikuru entered soon after, shutting the door behind her and letting out a deep breath. Her cheeks were rosy and red but the way she hugged herself and shivered it wouldn't take a genius to see she was freezing.

Like any true gentleman I shifted over and let her take the front row seat before the heater while I sat back and basked in the radiant warmth of the club-room's resident mascot and time travelling angel instead. Just having her close by drove away the cold and left me feeling all warm and fuzzy in the same way you feel when a puppy rolls over or begs for a treat.

Koizumi entered a few minutes later but he did nothing to make me feel better. As usual he strolled right in with his fake, cheesy, hand-painted smile that he probably practiced in the mirror for hours each morning before school. God I hate that smile of his!

"Well it's a rather cold day today isn't it?"

The first words spoken all afternoon and they sounded like the idle small talk a door to door salesman might offer. I groaned inwardly but managed to throw my head forward in a sluggish nod. He's damn right it was cold!

The afternoon only dragged on and on. Me and Koizumi played cards while Mikuru served us tea (She didn't want to change into the maid costume today and so she remained rugged up in her winter uniform instead) and of course Nagato had not shifted even once in her chair, the only movement coming from her slender fingers brushing across to flip pages.

Haruhi, strangely enough wasn't there. She was in my last class and she seemed really happy about something. I was dreadfully certain I would have to go through another nightmare with the SOS Brigade but seeing as how she blew us off that day I was actually sort of happy.

It was quiet, calm, peaceful even.

Everything Haruhi is against.

But I should have known all glory is fleeting. It was too good to be true. I sensed something terribly wrong when footsteps like thunder erupted from the end of the hall. When a looming shadow crawled under the door I knew it was too late. All hope lost. The end was near.

And then the door, the Gate of Hell itself opened wide and she strolled in with a spring in her step and a smile I had long ago recognized as the final nail in the coffin, the final assurance that what would come next was surely a bad idea. The ill omen I really wasn't waiting for.

I sighed in advance.

"Hey guys, guess what?"

Yep, here it comes. The beginning of the end…

"I was thinking-"

Not very hard I assume, but go ahead. There's nothing I can do to stop you…

"You know what would be awesome?"

You using your inside voice?

"We should definitely-"

Oh god I can't take the suspense!

"Start a band!"

…

I was right to have sighed in advance. But I couldn't help but sigh again at that point…