I was having one of those days where everything seems to be going wrong and figured, why should Carlos be spared? Why is it that whenever I think of something sad happening, it's usually happening to Carlos? I know he's going through some heartbreak right now but he'll be fine. Personally, I think we should stay out of it but to each his own I guess.
This is my first BTR story that doesn't involve Katie, so let me know what you all think, please? And I will be finishing up Big Time Surprise soon and posting it up. Thank you!
Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush and I am not making any money out of this. The show, music and money may belong to BTR's creator but the boys belong to us Rushers! Whuahaha! Anywho, enjoy!
Carlos laid in bed, thinking how bad a day he'd had in school. He knew he wasn't the smartest kid in class or even that good looking but he knew there was something, right? He closed his eyes, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall, there had to be something about him that prevented him from being completely useless. He was a good dancer, he could sing, he could... Why was this so important anyways?
"As you can all see, the class has been rearranged into groups of four and you have all been assigned to a table." Mister Jackson pointed to a sheet of paper hanging on the wall. "You will see what table you're in and the rest of your group here. There will be absolutely no changes made for whatever reason so don't bother asking." Carlos walked over to the list and quickly found his name, table three. He smiled when he saw Cassie was in his group, she was the prettiest girl in the class and she was smart as well. He went to his table and sat down, very excited to begin.
"Great, we have Gullible Garcia on our team." Gregory sighed as he took his seat in table three. "You're one of the stupidest kids in class and you're assigned to our group?" Carlos frowned, he wasn't stupid.
"Just leave him alone, between us two and Cassie we can pass this assignment without trouble." Melissa pointed out. She wasn't as pretty as Cassie but she was just as smart, Carlos thought feeling embarrassed. It was no secret neither Gregory or Melissa liked him, ever since that fateful day he accidentally spilt vinegar all over them. "Just don't let him touch anything."
"Hi Carlos, I see we're in the same group." Cassie smiled as she sat down next to him. One of the main reasons Carlos liked Cassie was because she was as nice as she was pretty. She wasn't shallow, conceited or anything like Melissa.
"Let's get this over with, the less time I spend with this loser the better..." Gregory mumbled as their teacher began giving off the instructions.
Half way into their project, Carlos had gone to get one of the glass beakers from the storage closet and filled it with water. He returned to the table but before he could set the beaker down, he tripped on Melissa's bag and let go of the container as he fell forward, causing it to shatter on the table. Carlos quickly stood up and stared in horror as their sugar project dissolved into nothing. The class started laughing, they'd seen Carlos mess up before and it really wasn't a surprise anymore but it was still funny. Gregory on the other hand, was furious.
"What the hell did you do?! You moron! You're so stupid, you useless piece of-"
"Mister Taylor! I will not have you using vulgar language or insulting a classmate in my class so please calm down." Carlos was so embarrassed he couldn't look at anyone and just stared at his shoes. "Cassie, you should go to the nurse for those cuts." At that comment, Carlos immediately looked up to see Cassie holding her hand, when the beaker had shattered, some of the small shards had managed to somehow cut her.
"I'm so sorry, Cassie." Carlos managed to say, Cassie forced a small smile and told him it was fine but he knew it wasn't.
"Everybody else get back to work." Mister Jackson ordered before assigning Gregory, Melissa and Carlos into the other groups.
The new group hadn't let him do anything but watch them work even though it had just been an accident. Carlos had heard Gregory throwing insults his way and he hadn't missed the glares Melissa had given him either. After biology, he'd felt completely rotten. Cassie had gotten hurt because of him, it had only been a few cuts on her left hand, nothing serious but he still felt awful. It would have been better if it had happened during his last class but that had been his first, too bad the rest of the day hadn't gone any better.
Carlos flinched when the text book dropped on the other boy's foot, in his defense, Toby should have been wearing regular shoes instead of sandals. The class turned when Toby let out several curse words while grabbing his foot as best he could.
"Toby, watch your language." Their teacher said without looking up from the papers on his desk, he knew it had something to do with Carlos without having to look.
"You stupid idiot!" Toby growled so only Carlos could hear. "You're lucky I don't hit retards." Carlos slumped down in his seat once he'd reached it, feeling his face heat up at the stares. Everybody thought he was some kind of idiot and right now, he was having trouble proving them wrong. It didn't help that he'd forgotten to pick up the text book so he had to get back up and go get it, causing the class to snicker behind his back. Why did he have to be so clumsy?
Carlos sobbed, still not letting the tears fall. He tried not to be such a kluts but things just happened to him and he couldn't control it. He was grateful his friends hadn't decided to just get rid of him. Carlos sat up at the thought, what if they had thought about it but hadn't said anything? He loved his friends and he was sure they loved him back, they wouldn't get rid of him but was he a burden to them? Carlos didn't want to be a burden to the only people who were willing to put up with him, that wasn't fair. He thought back to lunch time, if it hadn't been for said friends, Carlos might have gotten his butt kicked.
Mini corndogs, he knew his day couldn't have been all bad. He paid for his lunch and turned to walk to his usual table when he bumped into someone, causing them to drop their tray filled with spaghetti. Carlos tried to apologize but he was suddenly grabbed by the collar and pushed against the wall, letting out a small yelp, more from surprise than pain.
"Gullible Garcia, why were you even born if you were going to be such a useless human being?" Gregory. Carlos winced when more pressure was applied.
"I'm-I'm sorry Gre-" Another shove.
"Don't even say my name, you stupid piece of sh-" Gregory was roughly pulled away causing Carlos to slip down to the floor. He watched as Kendall pushed Gregory away.
"Don't ever lay a hand on my friend again or you'll really understand what being useless means." Carlos felt his hands shaking, he'd not only screwed up again but this time he'd involved Kendall, what was wrong with him?
"Maybe you should get some real friends instead of settling for the stupid ones." Kendall looked absolutely furious but before he could do anything more, James punched Gregory hard in the face.
"Maybe you should get some friends, it sucks being alone, doesn't it?" James had witnessed Kendall pushing the bully away from a terrified Carlos and had heard what Gregory said, there was no way he was getting away without some kind of warning.
"Carlos, you okay buddy?" Logan asked, leaning down to the shocked Latino.
"Logan, I'm fine, I'm fine." Carlos shakily stood up with his friend helping him. Logan didn't think he was fine but they'd talk about it later. The rest of the students watched, waiting for Gregory to do something more but the bully just glared at the four boys before stomping out of the cafeteria. The students resumed their lunch and conversations as if nothing had happened. Kendall and James walked over to Carlos who looked on the verge of crying.
"You okay, Carlos?" Kendall asked. Carlos nodded but didn't say anything, scared he would start crying if he tried to talk. "Let's go outside, it feels too stuffy in here."
Throughout the day, he'd been too quiet, not his usual self and his friends had noticed. Carlos had been too embarrassed to tell them what else had happened and had tried to act normal but they knew something was wrong, they figured it had been from the incident in the cafeteria and just needed some time. Now, he felt bad for making them worry, getting them involved and for being a burden altogether. He sighed, maybe things would be better on Monday and in the meantime, he would try not be such a pain for his friends.
"Carlos, we're going down to the pool." James said as he walked into their room. "It's way too hot in here and I could use a good tan." He muttered as he looked for his swim trunks and sunblock. He stopped searching when he didn't get a reply from his usually hyperactive friend. Carlos continued to stare at the ceiling, not paying attention to anything else. James walked over to Carlos' bed, he knew his friend must have been scared from what had happened during lunch but he was safe here. "Carlos, you trust me, right?" This time, Carlos was paying attention and sat up at the random question.
"Of course I trust you, why?" James sat down on the bed and shrugged.
"Because I know something's bothering you and I get the feeling it wasn't just the cafeteria incident but you won't tell me what so I feel like maybe you don't trust me enough to help." Carlos held back the tears that had been fighting to escape all day, the last thing he had wanted to do was hurt his friends. He was going to say he was fine but stopped himself, he wasn't a good liar to begin with and James knew him well enough to know he wasn't being honest.
"It's embarrassing, I don't want you to laugh at me too." James raised an eyebrow, laugh at him too? That meant somebody had already laughed at him and that somebody was going to deal with him when all this was over.
"I'm your best bud, why would I laugh? Come on, tell me what's going on." Carlos bit his lower lip, he knew he could trust James but it really was embarrassing.
"Why do you put up with me?" The question was so not Carlos, it completely caught James off guard. What had happened for the Latino to ask such a thing? James stood up, not quite sure how to deal with this.
"What do you mean, put up with you? I don't put up with anything, you're my friend and there's nothing to put up with about it." He sat in front of Carlos, watching as tears ran down his face. "Carlos, what's wrong?"
"I'm a retard." He sobbed. "A useless human being that doesn't do anything but mess up. I'm a klutz, a loser, somebody who doesn't deserve to live-" James grabbed Carlos by the shoulders so fast, it caused the small boy to flinch.
"You listen to me, Carlos, I don't ever want to hear you say that again. Suicide is not an option, ever! You're one of the few people who will always be pure of heart, one of the few who will never be corrupted by greed, you are special. Do you understand that, Carlos? You're special and I, we would never want you to change who you are. So you're a bit clumsy, so what? That's no excuse to quit living, you're never to think like that again!" James pulled Carlos in for a tight hug. "We've been through a lot to get to where we are today and you worked your butt off just as we did but we're a group, a family. Even if Big Time Rush ended, we would always have each other, do you understand?" Carlos nodded, not sure of what had come over his friend. "If you ever have thoughts like that again, I want you to promise to talk to me or Kendall or Logan or anybody, I don't care who it is. Just promise me you'll never go through with it, never stop living." James said, still holding Carlos tightly against his chest.
"I was just going to say I don't deserve to live with you guys." James blinked. After a few awkward seconds, he cleared his throat and leaned back to his spot, feeling like a total idiot. "That was a very good speech though." Carlos felt better now, James always had a way of making him alright again.
"I agree."
"Me too."
James and Carlos turned to see Kendall and Logan on the doorway, both grinning at the now red faced James. Carlos smiled at his friends, even though he'd never thought about quitting life, the speech still made sense to his own predicament. Predicament, Carlos thought proudly, that was a very sophisticated word. Oh, another one! Carlos started laughing, causing the other three to look at him.
"See, this is our Carlos. Who cares what people think or say, you shouldn't change who you are to please them." Kendall said as he made his way to the bed with Logan by his side.
"You had a bad day, Carlitos but that's over and done with. We'll always need you with us, not just as a member of Big Time Rush but as a member of our family."
"That means you're not useless, right?" James asked. Carlos looked at each one of his friends, they were right. He was clumsy but that didn't mean he was stupid, he guessed he just needed to hear them say he was needed every now and then.
"Thanks guys." Everything was going to be alright, it was confirmed when the guys all jumped on top of him and started to tickle him. He really didn't need anyone else.
So there you have it ladies and gents, hope you all liked it. Um, it's really easy to leave comments now so if you have a minute to spare, please leave one. Let me know if you liked it, what I could work on and just any comment you may have.