iii. surviving
(mockingjay)

My name is Primrose Everdeen. I am thirteen years old.

They are concerned Prim might have a concussion from her big fall back in the arena when everything exploded. They think she might be mentally unstable. They ask her to constantly review every fact she is sure of to ascertain there is no brain damage or memory loss.

My home is District 12. There is no District 12.

She has to beg and plead until finally, they allow her to visit the remains of District 12. She goes with Katniss and they stand on the rubble that might have been pieces of a house from down in the Seam, but also might have been ashes of the unfortunate people who refused to evacuate. The bombs came mere seconds after the hovercraft left, they said. No survivors, they said.

And the list of people-who-died-because-of-Prim grows.

Just as they're about to leave, Buttercup emerges perfectly unharmed and paws at Prim's leg. She manages the faintest of smiles and picks up the cat. Correction: one survivor.

I was in the Hunger Games. I escaped. The Capitol hates me. And Haymitch is dead.

Prim has new nightmares now. Haymitch, standing at the force field, striking it with his metal knife tied to that metal wire tied to that tall tree struck by lightning. They try to explain it to her: Haymitch didn't die in vain, he sacrificed himself for the revolution, he saved you, he saved us all. But Prim doesn't want to listen to them. They were all in on the plan. Everyone knew about the plan, except for Prim. We were trying to protect you. Well, she is so goddamn tired of being protected all the time. When did she ever agree to this, to any of this?

Annie and Johanna were taken prisoner by the Capitol. But they are still alive. They have to stay alive.

In the end, Annie and Johanna simply didn't make it back in time. The Capitol captured them before the rebels could reach them. And now they are out there somewhere, undoubtedly being tortured for information.

Prim hates the Hunger Games and the Capitol and President Snow. But now she also hates the rebels and the revolution and that stupid mockingjay. She hates them, because they made her decisions for her and took away the people she loved.

-::-

Life in District 13 is, frankly, aggravating. Everything is underground, meticulous, structured, and achingly dull. It makes Prim feel like she's suffocating.

President Coin calls her in for meetings with the other rebel leaders up in Command. It's all talk about military strategy and grassroots movement and propos campaigns; Prim doesn't understand half the words they say. But they keep referring "the Mockingjay" as if it were a person, an idol and a leader of the revolution. Finally, after days of just sitting there and pretending to follow along the conversation, she asks them.

"Who is the Mockingjay?"

Most of them look at her with a stunned expression. A few even chuckle. President Coin's slim eyebrows rise up into her hairline and she presses her lips together in a straight line before answering.

"It's you, Primrose. You're the Mockingjay."

-::-

Gale and Katniss are both invited to join the ranks of the rebel army. Gale gladly accepts. Katniss politely declines.

Now, Gale spends all day up in Command with President Coin and the others planning battles and spends all night telling Katniss about his devised strategy of bombing once and then bombing twice to kill those who rushed in to help the victims of the first and they lie together in bed in the little room District 13 has oh so generously allotted just for them. There's fire in Gale's eyes when he talks of revolution and revenge and Katniss can't find the heart to tell him that she doesn't believe in the cause.

Because she spends her days living among the ordinary inhabitants of District 13 and the refugees from around Panem, doing her monotonous assigned daily tasks. She hears what the people say. She is of the unpopular opinion—she doesn't think the new president is any better than the old one. District 13 is not as glorious as she previously imagined and she thinks, how can this petty underground civilization ever take down the Capitol? Honestly, she was never good at the optimism thing. That was always Prim.

Katniss feels the old yearning to run away again. By some miracle, Prim is still alive after enduring two Hunger Games and President Snow's malicious tricks. Katniss just wants to take her little sister and run far away before any more harm can come in her way. But the thing is she's already at District 13. And she is out of places to run to.

-::-

About two weeks after the Quarter Quell rescue and the District 12 bombing, the Capitol broadcasts the first of its videos. It's Annie and Johanna being interviewed by Caesar Flickerman. They both look fatigued, but otherwise in good condition. Poor Annie looks perpetually frightened and clutches onto Johanna's arm like a desperate safety line, meanwhile Johanna just stares straight into the camera with a frazzled but steady expression like try all you might, you will never break me.

Caesar asks them if there is anything they want to say to Prim, Peeta, Finnick, and the rebels. Johanna sits tight and says nothing. Annie looks at Johanna and tries to copy the cold shoulder. But Annie is not resilient like Johanna. Annie is fragile, easily broken. She faces the camera and starts sobbing.

"Just stop! Stop fighting! No one is going to win and everyone is going to die."

Johanna shushes Annie and whispers something inaudible. Annie nods and quietens her crying to a soft whimpering. President Snow is obviously unhappy with Johanna hindering Annie's meltdown, which is the point of the entire broadcast in the first place. Guards appear on screen and usher Caesar aside before they drag Johanna away. She puts up a good fight but is ultimately pulled away, leaving Annie all alone in front of the camera, completely vulnerable. Tears are running down her face and she whispers a final word:

"Please."

Another guard appears and roughly grabs Annie by the arm, leading her away, and the screen flickers black.

-::-

After the broadcast, Peeta finds Prim sitting on the ground outside the Command office. She looks stressed and scared and twice her age.

"Are we doing the right thing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe we should stop fighting."

Peeta hates being the bearer of bad news. That was always Haymitch's job, but Haymitch is gone now. The look on Prim's face when he tells her no, they must keep fighting and it's too late to turn around now is one of fear and despair. He feels guilty, like he's ruining the last of Prim's childhood innocence. And yes, Prim is only thirteen, but then again, Peeta is only seventeen. War stops for no child. They have to grow up now. They have no choice.

"I just don't see why they even need me."

"We all need someone to believe in."

"So you really think I should do it?"

"The way I see it, the war is going to happen either way. With you as the Mockingjay, we have a fraction of a better chance."

The revolution has already caught fire and it's impossible to extinguish it now. They can only help it spread. It's like Haymitch once said, they have to fight now. Simply surviving is no longer an option.

-::-

It's Katniss who finds Octavia, Venia, and Flavius locked in the depth of District 13. Prim demands the three of them be released immediately. When Prim asks President Coin why her old prep team was taken as prisoners, Coin makes some pathetic excuse about them taking more than their share of food. Later, Beetee explains to Prim the real reason they were locked up—they are from the Capitol.

Prim wants so desperately to believe that the rebel cause is a force of good and the Capitol is a force of evil, that President Coin is the hero while President Snow is the villain. But the truth is, some Capitol citizens have the kindest souls Prim has ever met while some rebels have a ruthless desire for revenge. The truth is, President Coin has a flagrant disregard for the value of human lives that rivals President Snow. The truth is, there is no good or evil.

They are just two sides of the same die.

-::-

They begin filming propos of Prim as Mockingjay to broadcast to the rebels to boost morale. They are going to fly Prim to District 8, in the middle of the battleground, and film her in action. A well-rounded team is constructed to travel with her: Peeta, Gale, Finnick, and Boggs as guards, and Cressida, Castor, Pollux, and Messalla as camera crew. And Katniss, as big sister.

On the hangar to District 8, the prep team is busy perfecting Prim's attire in armor and Mockingjay dress, courtesy of Cinna before he was ruthlessly killed. Meanwhile, Finnick approaches Katniss.

"Hey, new girl. You're the other Everdeen, the one who tried to volunteer for Prim."

"Yes. And you're Finnick Odair, the sex god from District 4."

He laughs but it sounds hollow and his smile doesn't quite reach his eyes. He nudges Katniss with his elbow and nods to where Peeta and Gale are standing next to each other, conversing with Boggs.

"So, from what I hear, you're in quite the love mess."

"Are we really going to gossip right now?"

"I'm just saying, we all know who you're going to pick in the end."

"Who?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

-::-

There are dead bodies everywhere.

Prim walks quietly, trailed by the rest of her entourage, over the battleground. She tries to count the number of dead bodies until it makes her sick. And she thinks of Annie's words in the last broadcast. No one is going to win and everyone is going to die.

Commander Paylor meets them and leads them to the hospital where many more injured rebels are being housed and treated. The giant room reeks of rotting flesh and medicine and everyone looks a breath away from death, yet when they see Prim, they immediately smile. Suddenly, there's energy and high spirits in the room again. There's life.

Everyone sits up, scrambles out of bed, and walks-limps-crawls their way to shake Prim's hand. She is completely overwhelmed by their enthusiasm. These are strangers, most of whom are wounded beyond treatment, yet they all appear miraculously rejuvenated simply by Prim's presence. And for the very first time, Prim realizes that there is some merit in the whole Mockingjay idea. She has a power over these people, a power she never asked for and a power earned through the most tragic methods, but a power nonetheless. Seeing all these wounded fighters and kindred souls looking up to her like she is their sun, well, how could Prim ever let them down?

She doesn't even realize Cressida has been filming the entire encounter until the very end. When she looks back, her entire team is looking at her with a proud smile. Peeta gives her half a smirk, like I told you you were important. Katniss gives her a hug and Prim is practically the same height as her now. Never has Primrose Everdeen felt more grown-up.

Then the missiles come.

It's a sudden hustle as Finnick leads the team away to hide in a warehouse. They must not let the Capitol know Prim is here in District 8. But after they had evacuated, Prim sees that the bombers aren't even attempting to hit the warehouse, or anywhere else. In fact, all the bombs are aimed directly at the hospital they were previously at. Prim gasps when she understands what President Snow is trying to do—he's killing all the injured. She runs out the door, trying to rush back to help defend the hospital, but Katniss and Peeta hold her back. She's screaming, yelling, fighting, crying but they only hold her back.

After the bombers leave, they return to the hospital but Commander Paylor just sadly shakes her head. Just like that, another hundred gone.

Prim steps back, staring at the destruction, at all the lost lives, at Katniss and Peeta who held her back. They always hold her back. She wonders when Katniss and Peeta became one of them. Peeta gives her an apologetic shrug.

"There's nothing we could've done."

"No. There is always something we can do."

They all look taken back by her response. There's a short moment of tense silence before Finnick's face breaks into a smile. It almost seems out of place until Prim hears a click behind her. She turns around to find Cressida, who had continued filming the entire bombing, lowering her camera. She matches Finnick's smile.

Prim has just inadvertently given the revolution a new slogan.

-::-

The propos go viral, broadcasted repeatedly throughout the Districts. The hospital visit, the bombing, there is always something we can do. The rebels control all but District 2 and the revolution appears to be gaining momentum. People are filled with hope. Which, Katniss thinks, isn't necessarily a good sign. Hopeful people stop being careful. Hopeful people get hurt.

Katniss bumps into Peeta that night as she mindlessly strolls the halls. Neither can get much sleep, it seems. They begin walking together, falling into step with each other without really trying to. Katniss can't voice her uncertainties to Prim, who is the Mockingjay for crying out loud. And god forbid she tell Gale, who believes in the fight with all his heart. But here, in the dead of night, maybe she can confess to Peeta.

"What if we lose?"

He shakes his head.

"Things become so much worse than before."

With his tired eyes, Peeta looks centuries old, but this is still the same boy who gave her the bread that one night in the rain, the same boy who saved her little sister twice, the same boy whom she owes too much. Katniss thinks back to his love confession in the Hunger Games. She thinks back to the secret kiss the night before the Quarter Quell Reaping, which they both pretend never happened. She thinks back to him inviting her to join him in the jet and extending his hand and her taking it. She thinks back to Finnick smirking and saying, isn't it obvious?

Then, Boggs appears from around a corner, running at them.

"There you two are. Hurry, President Coin wants you up in Command immediately."

They follow Boggs up to the headquarters where President Coin is sitting, anxiously staring at the screen, where a paused image of Annie and Johanna are projected. Katniss realizes with dread that the Capitol must have broadcasted another video of the captured victors, in retaliation to the rebels' broadcasted propos. Once Katniss and Peeta arrive, President Coin silently presses play on the video.

Annie and Johanna are noticeably more bruised and bloodied than last time. But their frail appearance is the least disturbing aspect of the broadcast. They both stare directly at the camera and directly address Prim. They both speak openly, even willingly. Desperately.

"Prim, you must listen to us. They're not telling you the truth. President Coin is only using you so she can take over Panem. There is no revolution. Prim, please, you need to stop this before any more people die."

"Ask yourself, do you really trust the people you're working with? Do you really know what's going on? And if you don't…find out."

The video cuts off abruptly and President Coin turns around to face Katniss and Peeta with a grim expression.

"You two trust me, don't you?"

Not really. But Peeta digs his elbow into Katniss's side as a warning. So she keeps mum, fakes a smile, and nods.

Coin walks over to them, her pin-straight hair unmoving, framing her apprehensive expression.

"We need to get Annie and Johanna out. I thought we had more time, but the matter is more urgent than I presumed."

Katniss briefly wonders why Coin called them up at this hour just to tell them about her plans when it very well could have waited until the morning. And then she gets it.

"Wait, you want us to rescue them?"

"Precisely, Miss Everdeen."

This is outrageous. Katniss wants to rebuke, how in the world are they supposed to manage a feat like breaking into the Capitol and rescuing two of the most important captives? They're only two teenagers, one with a knack for shooting stuff with an arrow and the other with a knack for decorating cakes. Hardly a dynamic duo for any feat at all.

But Peeta is already pulling her by the arm out the door.

"Yes, is that all?"

Coin holds up a bony finger.

"One more thing: Primrose Everdeen must not know about this video."

As they leave, Katniss glances over her shoulder to see Coin deleting the video file.

-::-

Meanwhile downstairs, Prim wakes up from an awful nightmare about the District 8 bombing. Usually Katniss is there to kiss her forehead or sing a lullaby and tell her things will be okay. But Katniss isn't with her anymore, she has her own room with Gale because they're engaged and getting married soon and sometimes Prim still can't wrap that fact around her mind. She hates to be a bother, but she can't fall back asleep so she wanders down the hallway to Katniss's room. Unfortunately, her older sister is nowhere to be found, although Gale sleeps soundly with his arm draped around the sheets where Katniss is supposed to be. Prim then goes further down the hall to look for Peeta, but he's missing from his room as well. Just how many people have insomnia these days?

Finally, Prim finds Finnick in his room. His eyes are shut but he quickly opens them the second Prim opens his door. He must have been also awake.

She tells him about her nightmares and he tells her about his. They then talk about mindless things before Finnick suggests they watch television. There's a re-edited version of the propos that echoes Prim's words over and over again. There is always something we can do. There is always something we can do. There is always something we can do…Prim can hardly stand it and she is about to turn off the television when Annie and Johanna abruptly come on screen. Finnick tenses up beside her and Prim automatically drops the remote.

-::-

The next morning, President Coin and Katniss and Peeta pretend they hadn't seen the video while Prim and Finnick pretend they hadn't seen the video and everyone pretends everything is fine.

All the while, no one knows what to believe or who to trust anymore.

-::-

Beetee had managed to hack into the Capitol's broadcasting network and in the middle of Annie and Johanna's next live video, Beetee takes over and airs the newest Mockingjay propos. Prim's face gets about five seconds of screen time before the Capitol wrestles back control and switches the feed back to Annie and Johanna. It continues like this for several minutes, rebels versus Capitol, so that the resulting video resembles a mashup jumble of incoherent words and faces.

Finally, the Capitol blocks out Beetee's remote feed and resumes control of their broadcast. President Snow appears between the two victors and he has one hand on each of their shoulders. His expression is passive, calm, but ominous nevertheless. He gives Annie a small nudge and she starts talking to the camera again, directly at Prim. She talks again of stopping the war and the fighting, calling for ceasefire before any more people die. It's the same thing she always says, her words no doubt scripted by Snow. While they watch, President Coin keeps repeating over and over again, this is all a ploy, don't listen, don't let it get to you, we'll get them out of there as soon as possible. It's just, Prim can't help but hear those words and she can't help but see the deteriorating state of her friends and it breaks her broken heart and she thinks it's already getting to her.

Suddenly, Johanna jumps forward, out of President Snow's grasp, and interrupts Annie with a slightly delirious, dramatic outburst:

"You…in 13…dead by morning!"

-::-

Panic.

Loud emergency sirens.

More panic.

Orderly evacuation.

Down, down, down.

The Mockingjay is missing.

Everyone panics.

She finally makes it down just before the doors close. She's carrying the cat.

Relief.

Silence.

The first bomb. Then the second. Third, fourth, fifth.

(Panic, panic, panic.)

-::-

Day 1: A lot of boredom. Prim helps her mother distribute medical packages and tend to the sick. Also, Katniss invents the Crazy Cat game. It's a big hit.

Day 2: Peeta and Katniss try to come up with a plausible plan for Annie and Johanna's rescue mission. It's really difficult. Katniss thinks that word got around that she doesn't like President Coin, so Coin is only sending her on this kamikaze mission in the hopes that she might get killed in the process. Coin never really cared to save Annie and Johanna anyway. They were just auxiliary victors that could be sacrificed for the greater rebellion. Peeta says that's not true, but now that Katniss put the idea in his head, he can't shake off the feeling that maybe Coin is trying to get rid of him too. No need for the Bread Boy now that they have the Mockingjay.

Day 3: Katniss and Gale get in a fight. She tells him about her theory and he tells her she's crazy, Coin is sending her on the rescue mission because she thinks highly of Katniss and believes she is capable of the task. Coin can't possibly have ulterior motives. Then Katniss says maybe Annie was right and the rebel leaders can't be trusted and why do you spend so much time with Coin anyway? Gale glares at her and answers, because unlike you, I actually want to win this war, and then walks away.

Day 4: At night, when the bombs are keeping everyone up, Prim goes and sits beside Finnick. He's quiet, staring straight ahead, tying and untying a piece of rope at top velocity. She asks him how he's doing. He tells her he has spent every waking second since the Quarter Quell thinking back to that moment when he agreed to let Annie run the wire down. He should never have let her go. And it kills him.

Day 5: Katniss and Gale make up. Peeta sighs when he sees them kissing and turns away.

Day 6: The bombs finally stop. Prim gets ushered up to the surface of District 13 and climbs over the destruction. She reads cheesy lines from a script while the camera crew films. "You can't fight fire with fire, Snow. Because you're the one who gets burned." When she returns home, she just wants to cry because what if they're wrong, what if you fight fire with fire and the whole world burns? She wants to talk to someone, anyone, but Katniss is gone and so is Peeta. Where do those two disappear to all the time? She runs into Gale and finally coerces an answer out of him. He tells her what apparently everyone else already knew but was rudely kept a secret from her (but by now she wouldn't expect anything less, to be honest): Katniss and Peeta are currently trying to break Annie and Johanna out of Capitol captivity.

It takes a second for the news to sink in.

Katniss and Peeta, in the Capitol, saving Annie and Johanna, the most dangerous task ever.

Prim just might lose all four of them.

Oh god.

She screams, but no sound comes out. She hates the President. And this time, she doesn't mean Snow.

-::-

Peeta and Katniss infiltrate the Capitol pretending to be part of the camera crew filming Annie and Johanna's next broadcast. Then it happens so fast, there is only time for blind instinct and very little else. There's gunfire and guards and chasing and running and shooting and someone throws a bomb and Peeta thinks it might be Katniss's smoke bomb but he's not sure. Somehow, he finds Annie with his right hand and Johanna with his left and he's leading them out of the smoky chaos. Katniss follows after, aiming her new specially designed bow and arrows at any followers.

Plutarch is waiting for them in the hovercraft and it's so close, they have to take off before Peeta makes it all the way up the stairs. For a split second, he swears he is going to die. And in that second, as the hovercraft ascends fifty feet in the air and he is only hanging on with one hand on the railing, he is surprised to find that he is...okay. This would be the way to go, wouldn't you think? In the course of the past two years, Peeta Mellark has gone from the nondescript son of a baker to a Hunger Games victor and appointed revolution leader. Peeta Mellark matters now. And if this is how his story ends, well, it's so much better than dying as a pawn in the Capitol's stupid games.

He can't hold on much longer.

As his fingers are about to slip and as he is about to fall to certain death, Katniss appears and reaches down, catching him before he falls. She holds on tight and doesn't let go. It doesn't matter if Peeta had come to terms with death, Katniss Everdeen is not going to let him die. She uses all her strength to haul Peeta up. He manages to get both arms up over the hovercraft ledge, but Katniss alone can't pull him all the way up. Then Johanna runs up and helps pull Peeta all the way into the hovercraft. Peeta finally climbs completely into the hovercraft and breathes heavily, feeling like he had just cheated death.

Then Plutarch shouts for everyone to back away. Katniss jumps and pounces on Peeta and the two of them roll two times before the rocket hits the open doorway Peeta was hanging off of literally ten seconds prior. It blasts a big hole into the side of the hovercraft, but the vehicle remains in the air. There is a rough lurch as the hovercraft speeds away from the Capitol. Peeta doesn't think he can breathe. He just cheated death twice. He turns to Katniss beside him.

"You saved my life."

She smiles and gives him a soft punch on the shoulder.

"Consider us even."

Then she kisses him.

And now he really can't breathe.

-::-

Annie and Finnick reunite. It's glorious and beautiful. All of District 13 sheds a happy tear. It kind of reminds everyone that love and freedom is what they're really fighting for; it's easy to forget that amidst the endless days of destruction. Finnick and Annie are so overcome with emotions that they decide to get married. Everyone cheers at the sudden engagement but it reminds Peeta that, oh right, Katniss and Gale are going to get married soon too, so maybe he should stop kissing her. Maybe. He looks across the crowd where Katniss stands, holding hands with Gale, and he wonders what is going through her mind, if maybe it's thoughts about him.

-::-

District 2 calls for reinforcements. Prim and the whole team are transported over to join the rebel effort there, except Finnick who remains with Annie. They meet Lyme and the rest of the rebels and try to strategize how to attack the Nut. Halfway into the discussion of weaponry and military tactics, in the middle of Beetee's sentence, Katniss just gets up and walks out the door. Everyone stares after her strangely. Prim looks like she wants to follow her sister out. Peeta has to suppress his smile.

Later, after the meeting is adjourned, Gale finds Katniss sitting outside. He sits down beside her with a sigh. Not a content sigh, but a disgruntled sigh. A we-need-to-talk-and-I'm-not-happy sigh.

"Really, Katniss. Can't you just pretend for a second that you actually want to be here?"

"No."

He sighs again. It's always the same old fight, over and over again.

"So, did you all decide what to do?"

"You would know if you didn't walk out like a brat."

She whips her head around to look at him. Gale has never talked to her like this before. She almost gets up and leaves again, but god forbid she be called a brat again.

Gale shakes his head, then looks up at the night sky.

"We're going to attack and then block the entrance of the mountain with an avalanche so the Capitol citizens inside can't escape."

"Who thought of that plan? Everyone inside will die!"

"I thought of that plan."

"Oh."

"But you disagree. Of course."

Ultimately, Gale is focused on winning the war and Katniss is focused on having everyone come out of this alive. She reaches up and places her hand against his cheek. Gale's face is so familiar, but he is a stranger now.

"I feel like I don't know who you are anymore."

"I feel like I never did know who you are."

Then he kisses her as passionately as possible, as if to compensate for all the passion that they've been lacking lately. They both desperately want this to work, but deep down, they both know it won't.

He pulls away and sighs one last time dejectedly. He awkwardly pats her on the shoulder and starts to walk away. Suddenly, he stops and says without turning around:

"There are others, you know. You are not my only…option."

She twists the engagement ring on her finger around and around.

"Same."

-::-

The attack on the Nut is successful. Thankfully, instead of killing all the trapped captives, the rebels are taking them as prisoners of war. As the rebels lead the district citizens out of the mountain, a fight breaks out that quickly escalates to a full-out battle. The rebels quickly arm themselves, Boggs is screaming for the District 13 team to retreat, and a little girl with blonde pigtails gets lost in the chaos.

Then, Prim runs among the rebel fighters begging them to lower their weapons.

Then, Prim runs to the survivors begging for a ceasefire. No one else is to die. The enemy is the Capitol, remember?

Then, Prim gets shot.

-::-

She wakes up back in District 13 in the hospital section. There's something attached to her arm and it's making everything feel numb and painless…Someone opens the door. A chair creaks beside her bed and then suddenly the thing yanked out of her arm. The numbness goes away. And now she hurts. She opens her eyes.

"Sorry, Prim, but you wouldn't mind sharing, would you? They cut me off."

It's Johanna. Prim blinks a few times to clear her vision and watches Johanna hook Prim's bag of morphine into her arm. She wanted to protest that no, she doesn't want to share because she hurts a lot and she was had been shot, but Johanna still looks traumatized from the Capitol, so Prim lets her. Besides, the morphine reminds her of Sapphire and that makes her sad.

Johanna had admitted that the Capitol hijacked her and Annie and, even now, she is a little confused what is reality and what is fiction. Finnick invented a game called Real or Not Real where Annie and Johanna talk about their memories and others tell them if it actually happened or if it was just the Capitol's brainwashing.

For a while, as Prim winces in pain and Johanna tries to forget hers, they play the Real or Not Real game:

"We were allies during the Quarter Quell."

"Real."

"You tried to kill me during the Quarter Quell."

"Not real."

"Annie and I tried to run the wire down to the water."

"Real."

"Brutus cut the wire."

"Real."

"…then how did the arena explode?"

Prim has to swallow back fresh tears. She hasn't let herself think about Haymitch ever since his death, simply because she has already lost so many others and losing Haymitch is unconceivable. But here with Johanna, Prim is forced to relive the moment. Prim explains how Haymitch ended his own life in order to save the rest of them. The worst part is that she could've stopped him. She had stared at him for such a long time wondering what he was doing. Why had she simply stood there and wondered? Why didn't she go and ask and prevent and save?

Johanna nods solemnly and pats Prim's hands.

"Back in the arena, Haymitch, Annie, and I were stuck with the jabberjays."

"Real."

"Do you know what I heard?"

"Well, nothing. The Capitol killed everyone you loved. That's why you weren't affected."

"Right, but the Capitol killed everyone Haymitch loved too, you know."

Prim now vividly remembers Haymitch's pained expression as he was trapped in the jungle with the jabberjays. And she realizes Johanna is right. Haymitch didn't have family. Ever since Prim could remember, Haymitch Abernathy has lived alone up in the Victor's Village. But then the question still remains:

"Who did Haymitch hear?"

"You, Prim. The screams in the jungle were yours."

"It was me? …real or not real?"

"Real."

-::-

Annie and Finnick get married and it's beautiful. Prim gets to be a bridesmaid. Peeta decorates a cake. The ceremony is gorgeous and afterwards, they do a traditional District 4 dance. Annie pulls Prim in to join the dance, who then pulls in Katniss and Johanna, then Peeta and Gale and Boggs and Beetee until everyone is leaping and twirling to the music. They all laugh. And it's almost strange, because they haven't laughed in a long time.

Afterwards, most people had retreated to their rooms and the rebel leaders and camera crew had gone back to Command to edit the wedding footage into a new propos. The newlyweds remain on the dance floor, holding each other tight and rocking to the music that's no longer playing. Prim sits off to the side watching them, finding a certain serenity in Finnick and Annie's love. Katniss comes and sits down beside her. Prim rests her head on Katniss's shoulder and lets herself pretend she's still the naïve little girl she used to be, who got scared by bad dreams that can't even compare to her nightmares now, who felt perfectly safe in her sister's arms, back when nothing could harm her as long as Katniss kept singing. If only all that were still true. If only Katniss's lullaby could stop a bloody revolution.

"They're sending me to the Capitol."

"I know. I'm going with you."

"It's ending soon, isn't it Katniss? The rebels have control of all the districts now. There's only the Capitol left standing."

"Yeah."

"Peeta says we can't afford to lose."

"I think Peeta is right. We win or we die, simple as that."

Prim lifts her head and looks her older sister in the eye.

"You know, everyone says I started the revolution and I'm the Mockingjay. But I think it really started when I got reaped for the Hunger Games and you tried to volunteer for me. You were the first spark."

Katniss smiles wistfully and kisses Prim's forehead.

"I think all the time about how things might be different if I had gone to the Hunger Games instead of you, little duck."

"And?"

"And every time, I think it wouldn't have mattered. No matter who went to the games or who became the Mockingjay, it would have ended the same. I just wish you didn't have to suffer through two Hunger Games."

"You think everything would have turned out the same? We would still be here in District 13."

"Yes."

"The revolution would still happen?"

"Of course."

"You would still be engaged to Gale?"

"I…"

Prim smirks, victorious, and the two sisters laugh. In the distance, the new Mr. and Mrs. Odair keep slowly spinning under the dim light.

-::-

They begin training for the advance to the Capitol. They study the street layout of the Capitol and simulate the fighting and train with weapons and the cameras are still pointed at her all the time and Prim can't help finding everything so familiar. Did she not escape the Hunger Games after all?

A special squad is assembled to accompany Prim in the final advance on the Capitol. Katniss, Peeta, Gale, Finnick, and Boggs, along with Homes, Jackson, sisters Leeg 1 and 2, Mitchell, and the film crew Cressida, Messalla, and brothers Castor and Pollux. That's fourteen people whose duty is to protect Prim, with four of them filming her every move along the way.

To be honest, Primrose Everdeen is just so tired. To be honest, she hasn't had a good night's sleep in years.

As they fly to the Capitol for the final battle, Plutarch passes out small black pills to the entire team. Made of nightlock, he explains. Suicide as a last resort in case you are captured. And there, holding the pill, something overcomes Prim. She can't stop staring at the small black pill. She has this irrational urge—like when you are by the edge of a bridge and have this irrational urge to jump, like when you sit by the fire and have this irrational urge to reach for the flames, like when you see a knife and have this irrational urge to run your finger down the sharp blade—to put it to her mouth. But then Katniss ushers Prim in a different direction to settle some final logistics and the trance is broken. Prim puts the pill in her belt and doesn't think about it ever again.

-::-

It all goes well and according to plan. Charge the Capitol, dodge planted pods, get good shots of Prim in action. They aren't even really fighting anyway, all the frontline battles are being manned by the other rebel squads. Team Mockingjay over here is just a pretty show for the folks back home.

They joke. They laugh. They reenact moments if the crew didn't get a good angle. After a few days, it almost feels like they're actors on set, not soldiers at war.

But then Boggs accidentally steps on a planted bomb. And this time, they can't rewind and do it over.

After that, a series of other bombs go off and jolts everyone back to reality. They all scramble away to find shelter. Prim tries to tend to Boggs, but Peeta stops her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pushing her away. It's too late, Prim, I'm sorry. Gale and Finnick break into a random nearby house and usher everyone in. Before Katniss can follow inside, however, Homes grabs her arm and leads her back to when Boggs lay, bleeding on the ground.

"He insists on speaking with you."

Confused, Katniss crouches down beside Boggs. He reaches a shaky arm towards Katniss and she immediately brings her hand to him, thinking he wanted to hold her hand. Instead, she feels a small metal device being transferred from him bloody hand to hers. It's the Holo, a map of the Capitol that only Boggs had access to as commander of the squad. She takes it from him and doesn't understand.

"Why are you giving this to me?"

More bombs go off. One detonates extremely close to Mitchell, causing him to lose balance and fall over, activating another pod. It triggers a dark ominous wave over the streets while Mitchell gets entrapped in a net.

Boggs takes a breath and winces with pain. It hurts Katniss to watch him suffer like this. Behind her, Gale is screaming for her to hurry up, but she clutches onto the Holo and leans in close to hear Boggs's last words.

"Katniss…you can see the truth. You know who the real enemy is. Don't trust anyone."

Then his body falls slack. Katniss somehow manages to stumble onto her feet and run through the open door into the house without any further accidents. After she arrives, everyone is still staring out the door behind her, waiting for Mitchell to appear, but Katniss sadly shakes her head.

-::-

They stake out in the first house for a while, then run to another a few blocks away. Just in time too, because the Capitol bombs the first house and tries to convince the public that Prim and the team are all dead. For some reason, all of their radios that were connected back to Plutarch, Beetee, and District 13 malfunction so they have no way of reporting back to leaders that they are, in fact, still alive. President Coin makes a grave public announcement mourning the death of the Mockingjay, but she seamlessly transitions her eulogy into a revolutionary rally calling all rebels to arms in a final storming of the Capitol.

To their surprise, it really works.

The rebel forces outside the Capitol quadruples in size overnight as people arrive from the districts. On the television screen, they watch as the rebels determinedly march on while they hide out, assumed to be dead.

That's when Prim realizes she's of no better use alive than dead. Isn't this what they've told her all along? Panem doesn't need Primrose Everdeen; Panem needs the idea of a Mockingjay to unify them under a common goal. Prim is the face of the revolution, but only that—a face.

So then, what's the point?

-::-

Three nights. They've been hiding in this house for three days and haven't come in contact with a single soul. Their main concern isn't being attacked, it's to get the hell out of here.

"What are you doing still up?"

Peeta sits down beside Katniss. She is leaning against the far wall, zooming in and out of the Capitol streets on the Holo. The glow from the Holo illuminates both her faces in half shadows in the night and it's hauntingly beautiful.

"Boggs's last words keep looping through my mind. I can't figure out what he wanted me to do. He said I knew who the real enemy is, but what does that mean?"

Katniss shakes her head and hands the Holo to Peeta. She rubs her hands over her tired eyes.

"Gale thinks Boggs was referring to President Snow."

"I guess that makes sense. But what are you going to do about President Snow?"

"…kill him?"

"What?"

"I know, that was my reaction too. But Gale is convinced that's what Boggs meant. Why else would he give the Holo to me? I'm the best shot in the squad. Beetee made me a custom-designed arrow. And I've kept a low profile. No one really knows the Mockingjay's older sister. It's perfect. The squad was never meant to fight, but maybe I can finish the war."

"Katniss, are you sure about this?"

She sighs and gives him this look. It's the same look he sees in everyone's eyes. Prim, Gale, Finnick. Peeta's own reflection. They are just so exhausted; they are way past the point of last resorts now.

"Of course not. But we're getting pretty desperate now."

-::-

The next day, Peeta sees Katniss and Gale standing away from the rest of the squad whispering urgently to one another.

That night, Peeta wakes up to the sound of a bag ruffling. He turns to see the unmistakable silhouette of Katniss gathering her stuff. She freezes when she notices Peeta wake. He squints and back towards the front door, he can make out the shape of Gale's body. They both know it's exactly what it looks like. Peeta glances down at where Prim is asleep beside him, like a fallen angel trapped in hell, then he looks back up at Katniss with her bow hung across her shoulders, like she's ready to seek revenge on all the demons. And he nods, for how could he not honor her heroism? How could he not let her go?

"Take care of my sister."

And just like that, she is gone.

It's funny, take care of my sister were the first words Katniss had ever spoken to him back at the first Hunger Games. Now he prays those won't be the last words she ever speaks to him.

-::-

(Although, he must admit, it would make a killer full circle ending.)

-::-

There's confusion when everyone wakes and the squad finds itself two more people short. Jackson is furious when she finds out Katniss took the Holo. Castor scoffs and makes a snide comment, maybe those two damn kids got scared and ran. Peeta remains oddly silent. Finnick and Cressida however are convinced Katniss and Gale would never do anything so selfish and they surely have a real reason for breaking away from the team. Prim thinks so too, but she just can't believe Katniss and Gale would go away without saying goodbye.

What if she never sees them—No. No, don't think like that. She will definitely see them again, after this is all over. Right?

The squad decides that they cannot spend another day in that house and plan for a retreat. But that's more difficult than anticipated. The streets are rigged with pods and constant battle between the rebels and the last of the Peacekeepers. The only way out…was down. They head deep into the earth and wander through the Capitol underground. Thankfully, Pollux has knowledge of the paths from his experience working down here as an Avox. For hours, they walk down cold, dark tunnels with no light at the end of them. The camera crew has long since stopped filming in this despairing setting.

This isn't a picturesque show anymore. This isn't a rebellion either. And this isn't even a game. This is reality in the cruelest form.

A draft blows upon them and Prim shivers.

Wait.

There's a draft.

The others notice too. They all stop and glance at the looming darkness behind them. If there is a draft of cold air, that means somewhere nearby, a door or latch had opened. Finnick takes a few steps and holds his light up high to peer down the tunnel. Suddenly, Peeta turns his head sharply towards a different tunnel to their right.

"Do you hear that?"

A soft, shrill, airy whisper. Prim had originally thought it was just the echo of the draft against the tunnel walls. But now the sound is getting louder and it was distinctly a voice, uttering a single word repeatedly. Primrose. Primrose. Primrose, Primrose, Primrose, PrimrosePrimrosePrimrosePrimrose… It seems they don't' believe her to be dead after all. She shivers again, but this time not from the cold.

The chant now crescendos and a patter of footsteps can be heard. Finnick retreats hurriedly, grabs Prim by the hand, and sprints off down the tunnel away from the approaching monstrosity.

"Run!"

They all take off sprinting down the dim corridors. Their legs are already exhausted from a day's worth of walking, but they push on. Pollux does his best to help them navigate. Then, they learn the hard way that the Capitol has planted pods underground as well. Messalla accidentally steps on one and it triggers a bright beam of light that entraps his body inside. To the others' horror, his body hardens into wax and then simply melts away. Prim is immobilized as she watches yet someone else die before her eyes, helpless as always, and inarguably because of her. In the golden light, they can clearly see the things chasing after them and whispering her name. Pale, slim, white lizard muttations, slithering towards them at incredulous speed.

Finnick and Castor are yelling at Prim to run, but she is so overwhelmed with guilt and grief and fear. It's happening yet again. People keep dying, they are all still dying and dying and oh, why can't this all be over?

Finally, Peeta comes and picks Prim up around her waist and runs while carrying her. She peers over Peeta's shoulder and watches as the mutts close in on them.

Up ahead, Pollux leads them up a set of ladders towards the surface. Climbing up takes an excruciating amount of time. Pollux goes up first and then they all help Prim up. She complains that they need to stop giving her priority treatment and start fending for themselves, because all that accomplishes is Prim being forced to witness the people she cares about die and die again. But they don't listen, of course. As the others climb up onto the upper level one at a time, Jackson and the two Leeg sisters stay behind trying to combat the first oncoming mutts with their weapons. After Homes makes it up, he motions for everyone to follow Pollux down the path and up the final set of ladders to reach the surface. Prim is terribly confused.

"What about the others?"

Homes can't look her in the eyes.

"Buying us time."

They reach the final trapdoor that leads them aboveground. Unfortunately, there is no ladder there at all. Instead, Peeta has to jump and pull himself up before reaching down to help the others up. It's a long tedious process. Prim is too short to reach Peeta's outstretched arms, so Finnick has to boost her up. Next, Peeta pulls Cressida up. By this time, the first of the mutts have crawled up the first ladder onto the landing and now charge at them with full ferocity. Jackson, Leeg 1, and Leeg 2 bought them time alright, but not enough. Homes and Finnick fend off the mutts but they're horribly outnumbered and largely unprepared. Pollux wants to go help them, but Castor stops him. Castor lifts Pollux up while Peeta and Cressida pull and they get him through the trapdoor. Pollux is the fourth one up. And he would be the last.

Once he has made it to the surface, Pollux immediately turns back and reaches down for his brother, but Castor has already left to join the effort combating the mutts. Homes is already badly wounded and gradually becoming enveloped by the lizards. When Castor reaches them, he says something to Finnick and gestures for him to go. Gale and Pollux both extend their arms toward Finnick and Prim screams his name. Her heart races faster than the muttation footsteps

Finnick takes a running start and leaps up, grabbing ahold of Peeta and Pollux's arms. He manages to get half a head out the trapdoor when he slips and falls back down into the tunnel. When he gets back up, he has a limp in his leg and Prim buries her face in her hands, shaking with anxiety. She hears Homes cry out before his voice is completely drowned out by the mutts, followed shortly by a similar fate to Castor. The endless stream of mutts crawl over Homes and Castor's bodies and begin attacking Finnick.

Twice he grabs onto Peeta's hands. Twice he is pulled back down by the mutts.

The third time, Finnick has a small black object in his hand.

"Beetee gave me something, just in case of emergencies."

Prim stares at the object and the realization hits her square in the gut. She knows exactly what it is. She had watched Kenton rewire twenty-four of them back in the first Hunger Games.

"No! Finnick, what are you doing?!"

But he pays her no attention. He presses a button on the bomb and a light begins to blink.

"You might want to back up."

Peeta and Cressida both pull Prim back and it's the same routine time and time again, people holding Prim back when all she wants to do is help. This time, she manages to wriggle out of their grasp. She rushes forward to the edge of the trapdoor and falls to her knees before Finnick. The lizards are threatening to pull him down once more so Prim grabs onto his hand tightly.

"Come on, Finnick, you don't have to do this. We can get you out and we can—"

He interrupts her by kissing the back of her hand that is tightly clutching his. He's crying and she's crying and they only have seconds before the lizard mutts overpower him.

"Tell Annie I love her, okay? Will you do that for me?"

Prim nods earnestly. She thinks about poor Annie Cresta back in District 13 and how they were just married and how this will break her heart. How this will break everyone's hearts.

"Goodbye, pretty flower."

She has to let go of his hand now. She stumbles backwards and watches as Finnick throws the bomb deep into the tunnel just as his body sinks down as the lizards pull him under. The trapdoor slams shut and the Capitol is silent for one, two, three seconds before the explosion. The entire block seems to shake from impact. Just like that, she lost seven people. Just like that, she lost Finnick Odair.

-::-

For some reason, the streets are quite crowded with Capitol citizens. Peeta half-carries Prim as they wind through the streets, partly to shield Prim's recognizable face from the masses and partly because Prim can barely walk—she is shattered from the world taking her loved ones away from her, each death like a knife repeatedly stabbing her fragile heart. Too much manhandling and she simply isn't able to hold herself together anymore. Too many wounds and her heart will simply bleed dry. She feels so unbelievably hollow.

Cressida takes them to her friend Tigris's shop where they can rest and regroup. Tigris feeds them some food and they watch some television footage of recent fights between the rebel and Capitol forces. The rebels are undoubtedly winning, closing in on the Capitol from all sides so that they are in control of the whole city save for the innermost few blocks where the president's mansion is. That explains the flight of Capitol citizens pouring out of their doors as they seek refuge together in the streets. The news cuts to Capitol children sitting huddled together on the sidewalk, sharing a measly roll of bread. Prim watches and sees no difference from the starving kids back in District 12 who used to do the same thing.

Then, to their surprise, a picture of Katniss and Gale appear on screen. A Capitol official is making a statement that Katniss Everdeen and Gale Hawthorne are alive and a threat to the very sanctity of the nation and therefore must be captured by all means. If you have seen these two, please alert Capitol officials immediately. Prim wonders what they could have done to become Panem's most wanted, especially when the entire nation is fighting a revolutionary war.

There was also something else very off about the video and it is Cressida who finally figures it out:

"Strange, why didn't Snow give the announcement?"

-::-

They finally fix the radio connection and communicate back to District 13 that, good news, they are still all alive. From what they understand from the snippets of television news and patchy radio conferences with Plutarch, the rebels are most likely going to win this thing. Which is a great miracle, since Prim had lost hope in the cause a long time ago. They are instructed to make their way out into the streets. Backup is arriving from District 13 to pick them up soon. Prim says, we can't leave without Katniss and Gale, and everyone nods with a tight smile, the kind of expression adults give little kids when they agree to something they wholeheartedly disagree with.

Tigris loans them fur coats and hats to hide behind and then slowly assimilate themselves into the crowded Capitol streets. Cressida and Pollux head out first. Then, after they are precisely one block away, Prim follows out. Peeta is the last to leave the store, precisely one block behind Prim. Keep your head down, don't look anyone in the eye, follow Cressida and Pollux, and wait for the hovercraft. Easy. Perfectly manageable.

Prim thinks she is doing so well until she hears someone say her name. She freezes and clutches her three layers of fur. Oh no. How could this be? She had been staring at Pollux's feet this whole time. Her outfit covered all but a small crevice for her eyes and the tip of her nose. And yet she has been compromised.

But then she listens to the voice calling her name again and fear is replaced by joy. It's Katniss! Of course her older sister would be the only person who could identify Prim in this superfluous disguise. Prim spins around to see Katniss run straight to her and envelop her in her arms. Katniss pushes some of the fur away from Prim's face and laughs. She reaches behind Prim and tugs on the end of her shirt that had been sticking out behind the coat.

"I knew it was you, Ducky."

Prim is rendered speechless. This is real. Katniss is back, and there's Gale a few feet behind her. They are all going to be saved. They are going to win this war. It's really all going to be over. Can she dare believe it?

"Katniss, where did you go?"

Katniss guides Prim over into a small alley between two apartments. The two Everdeen sisters are the same height now, so Katniss no longer needs to kneel when she wants to look Prim in the eye as she tells her something important.

"President Snow is dead."

-::-

It happened something like this.

They snuck into the mansion dressed as part of the film crew. It's almost pathetic; the Capitol fell for the same trick twice in a row. Katniss and Gale found an inner passageway used by Avox servants and wandered through the inside of the mansion until they found Snow's room. Taking out the guards was difficult and in the end, Gale had to create a distraction, sprinting down the hallways and leading the guards in a near-death chase through the mansion. After that, it's just Katniss against the president, face to face, her with a drawn bow and arrow and him with only a rose. He never stood a chance.

But the longer Katniss stood before Coriolanus Snow, the more she lost the will to shoot. He spoke to her in his cool, unnerving voice:

"Ah, Miss Everdeen. The one who tried to volunteer for her baby sister. You are angry at me for what I've done to Primrose. So, shoot me. What are you waiting for?"

She still could not. Her hand began to shake.

"But you can't, can you? Because you know it will accomplish nothing."

By that point, Gale had returned. No guards were in pursuit, so evidently Gale had killed them all. And here was Katniss, unable to kill even one defenseless old man. Snow continued, ignoring Gale's interruption. He chuckles which turned into a violent cough. He's already dying, Katniss thinks.

"Tell me, do you really believe your other president is any better than I am?"

Gale's gaze flickers between Snow's smug snarl and Katniss's indecisive frown.

"Katniss, don't listen to him, he's just trying to get inside your head."

Snow coughed once more.

"No, boy. Let's not lie to each other anymore. It's quite pointless, don't you agree?"

Then, because Katniss is obviously incapable, Gale pulls out his own bow and arrow and shoots President Snow right in the center of his chest.

-::-

Out of the quiet chatter among the Capitol streets, three shots are fired. Chaos ensues. Perhaps the Peacekeepers shot first, perhaps the rebels shot first, but regardless, they are seconds away from a bloodbath worthy of any Hunger Games. Gale tries to get closer to Katniss and Prim but he gets caught in the flow of bodies and gets separated. Peeta is still a block away. Prim holds onto Katniss's hand and suddenly, it's just the two of them against the world again, like old times back in the starving days in the Seam. They push against the stream of citizens and refugees. Prim keeps an eye to the sky, watching for any hovercrafts to come take them home.

They make it about halfway across the road when the road itself breaks in half.

Prim and Katniss begin to fall into the newly opened abyss. This must be the last pod, the Capitol's final weapon to fend off the rebel attacks. They try to run but the incline increases and they're falling, falling, falling. Prim grabs onto the edge of the broken asphalt road while Katniss holds onto the doorway threshold of a house, both dangling over what appears to be an endless pit to the center of the earth where poor citizens and rebels alike are falling to their doom. Behind the sheer terror of the situation, Prim also feels a certain sense of déjà vu. How many times has Prim been hanging by a thread on the edge of life and death?

("Hang on, Prim!" Katniss calls. "Please hang on!")

It's all probability in the end—one can only cheat death so many times before one actually dies.

Peeta is the first to free himself from the mob. He sprints towards them, but anyone can do the calculation. At the rate both Prim and Katniss are slipping, Peeta only has time to save one of them. And to Prim's utter surprise…he rushes straight for her. He saves Prim instead of Katniss. The little girl who glowed over her beautiful older sister whom he's loved since forever. Prim feels something usually described as "the ground disappearing under her feet" but that isn't exactly applicable here. Peeta pulls Prim up to safety and wraps his arms tightly around her, kissing the top of her head. She tries to remember how to breathe.

Thankfully, Gale manages to catch Katniss just before she slips. She gets a better grip on the threshold, but Gale struggles to pull her up. As if it wasn't bad enough, the door opens above Katniss and Peacekeepers step out. Gale immediately stands up and backs away but the Peacekeepers get a hold of Gale and drag the wanted criminal away. Below, Katniss remains undetected, still holding on.

Now Peeta holds Prim at arm's length and stares intently in her eyes as he talks.

"I have to go save Katniss."

And the ground reappears under Prim's feet.

"Oh. Right. I'll help you."

"No, it's too dangerous by the abyss. Prim, I need you to run."

"Run?"

"As fast as you can. Anywhere but here. Wait for Plutarch and the others to arrive."

She nods vigorously. Peeta stands to go towards Katniss but something makes Prim reach out and grab his hand to stop him. Something about this moment seems penultimate and climactic.

She kisses him.

Her first, sweet, beautiful kiss. Afterwards, he looks shocked and a bit dazed, but his face breaks out into a huge grin. He heads back into the fight to save Katniss and she turns to run.

-::-

"If anyone tries to kill you, you just run as fast as you can. Do that for me, okay Prim? You're going to live. Oh Prim, you're going to live."

"I'm going to live."

-::-

It all happens so fast.

Prim runs, as fast as she can, and ends up in front of Snow's mansion. In front, the children stand, scared out of their minds, huddling to each other in mutual defenselessness. Prim chances a look back over her shoulder and is reminded that no one else is there. They're all gone. She's the only one left now. Finnick is dead. Boggs is dead. Castor and Homes and Jackson are all dead. Gale is probably still alive but who knows for how much longer. And Peeta and Katniss are stuck in the middle of the last battle.

There are people rushing in every direction and she lets herself be lost in the mobile crowd. She's running but she doesn't know what to do. She's a puppet with all her strings cut for the first time and she is utterly helpless. Mockingjays only repeat the songs they hear; they can't sing on their own.

Then, the hovercraft appears in the sky and Prim's heart swells in relief. Finally, she can go home. However, it positions directly above the mansion. Maybe they are trying to save the children first? That makes sense. But instead of dropping a ladder, the hovercraft dispenses several parachutes the same shade of silver as the ones back in the games. Maybe they are provisions and aid? The children reach for them because they have nothing left. Prim slowly inches towards them, watching them trying to open the packages.

Then, the hovercraft disappears.

Then, Prim knows that something is not right.

Then—

(It's terrible. She screams but no sound comes out. No, no, no, no, no!)

As the smoke clears, the sound of children's cries fill the air. Prim does the first thing she thinks of. She runs and jumps over the gate and rushes to the bleeding children's aid. Beside her, several others do the same. Prim sees that they are rebel medics with aid kits so she grabs some supplies and tries to do something, anything. A little boy holds onto Prim's hand and doesn't let go with his last dying strength. Prim shakily applies a bandage to his head but she knows it's too little too late. Around her, little broken bodies lay strewn across the blood-stained front lawn of the president's mansion. She cries because it's everything she was afraid of in this war: no one would win and everyone would die.

The little boy's eyes are losing focus and Prim wraps her arms around him, whispering kind words she desperately means. I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. But it's okay, it's all over now.

Then, the hovercraft reappears.

Then, something falls from the sky.

Then, she realizes just how true her words actually were. It's okay, it's all over now.

In the last second of her life, Prim clutches the little boy in her arms and shields his small body with her own small body in a futile attempt to protect him from the inevitable fate. She looks up at the gray sky in this cruel world. With a weird sense of finality, she stares death in the eye, like she's done more times than any thirteen-year-old girl should, but this time, she is not afraid. This time, she feels a certain relief. Of course, no one is here to save her this time. And she's okay. Because to be honest, she is just so tired. She just wants this all to end.

She hates the Hunger Games. She hates the Capitol. She hates President Snow. She hates President Coin. She hates the rebels. But most of all, she hates herself for believing, for hoping, for fighting, for feeding the flame that would ultimately consume her.

It's time. The precious little girl who glowed has finally burned out. The Mockingjay has sung her last song.

-::-

Then, Prim doesn't come back.

-::-

Peeta opens his eyes and finds himself in a strange room. There is a large window by his bed and outside, the sun shines across a cloudless sky. There's peace. There's quiet.

Then he remembers the fight in the broken street. He remembers pulling Katniss up and guiding her to the edge of the crowd. He remembers the hovercraft, he remembers the first bomb and he remembers the second bomb. He remembers the force of the two explosions knocking him down to the ground. And finally, he remembers watching Prim run away, right towards the direction of where the bombings happened.

Ignoring his searing headache and pain in his shoulder, Peeta leaps from his bed and runs out his room. It takes a few seconds for him to gather his bearings and realize he is inside Snow's mansion. He notices a few officials he recognizes from District 13 walk down the corridor into a main room, so he hurriedly follows them inside. President Coin, Plutarch, Beetee, and Paylor are seated around a large table in the middle of a discussion. Other people mill around the room, conversing in quiet voices and concerned expressions. On a couch in the side of the room, Johanna and Annie sit on either side of Mrs. Everdeen, who buries her face in her hands.

Everyone stops when Peeta steps inside. For a long while, no one says anything, they just stare. Finally, Annie walks over to him and silently gives him a hug. Over Annie's thin shoulders, Peeta makes eye contact with Plutarch, who ever so slightly shakes his head sadly. And that's when Peeta knew. It is everything he was afraid of.

He asks the only question left to ask:

"Does Katniss know yet?"

That evokes another sharp sob from Mrs. Everdeen. Johanna awkwardly pats the older woman on the knee, trying to offer condolence but not sure how. Again, everyone looks away and Plutarch only shakes his head. No one wants to be the bearer of bad news anymore.

Annie takes Peeta by the hand and leads him out the room and down a different hall.

"Let's go see Katniss. Maybe she's awake now."

They walk past Gale's room, where he is surrounded by his family. Next they pass Cressida and Pollux's rooms, which are both heartbreakingly devoid of any family members or visitors. The fourth room is Katniss's and when they enter, she begins to stir in her sleep. Her eyelids flutter a few times before they open completely. She glances around the bright room before her gaze focuses on Peeta and Annie.

"Hey."

"Hi Katniss, how are you feeling?"

"Okay. Still alive, at least."

Her comment causes a pang right in his gut as he thinks about the news he must eventually give.

"Where's Prim? Is she okay?"

Oh god. He feels tears welling in his eyes and surely Katniss will be able to tell something's wrong if he starts crying.

As if it wasn't bad enough, Annie replies with a genuine smile:

"Prim is with Finnick now."

Katniss nods and begins to sit up and Peeta realizes that not only is Katniss unaware her little sister is dead, she is also unaware Finnick had been dealt the same fate. She must think Prim and Finnick are simply sitting in another room, waiting for her. Just as she pulls her covers down, Peeta finally finds the strength to reach out and stop her.

"No, Katniss. They're—they're not here."

"Where are they?"

The tears are trailing down his face now. Beside him, Annie sniffles as she starts crying too. He can see Katniss's breath speed up and get hitched in her throat, and he just knows that she knows, yet she grabs both of his hands with hers and doesn't look away. She needs confirmation. She needs him to say it.

"I'm so sorry. Prim…she's gone."

-::-

Johanna is the one who winds up telling Katniss about the hovercraft and the bombs.

"It was arranged by Coin. First bomb the children, and then when all the people rush in to help the children, drop the second bomb. It didn't matter if rebels got killed in the process too. Some cruel strategy. Effective, though."

"I thought they said it was a Capitol hovercraft."

"Well of course they're going to say that. So many people died and suffered in this war. It's so much easier to blame it all on the past regime that's been overthrown rather than admit the new regime is already corrupted before it began."

-::-

Katniss finds Gale in an excluded corridor. They both speak at the same time.

"I've been looking for you."

Katniss motions for Gale to go first. He runs a hand through his hair and his eyebrows are knit together in a telltale sign of stress. He reaches over and grabs Katniss's left hand, absentmindedly twisting the ring on her finger.

"You still want to get married next month?"

To be honest, she had already forgotten that they had originally set the wedding date for next month. It's almost comical how much things can change in the course of a year, how life can turn on its head, how the person you once loved became a distant stranger. Instead of answering him, she asks what she came looking for Gale for.

"Were the final two bombs your idea?"

Gale's eyes widen and he drops his hold of Katniss's hand. That was not the response he was expecting. But then again, maybe that response was more than answer enough to his question.

"I did not have anything to do with those bombings. I did not suggest it and if I had known about it, I would've been completely against—"

"But it was you who came up with the idea in the first place."

"…yes, but Katniss, that was months ago."

"It was still your idea."

And really, she should be fair. Gale did not kill Prim. Gale would never kill Prim. But if Gale had never suggested such a ruthless strategy, then Coin would never have kept the idea in the back of her mind, she would never have remembered it in the final days of the war, she would never have ordered the hovercraft to bomb the mansion, and maybe Prim would never have died. And really, she should be fair. But she can't. Every time she looks at her fiancé now, all she can think is that this is the man who indirectly murdered her sister.

-::-

Peeta could not believe his ears. When Plutarch called him into an urgent meeting and he sat down at the table beside all the other remaining victors (they are only a measly lot of four now: Peeta, Annie, Johanna, and Beetee), the last thing he expected was a vote on whether or not the Hunger Games should continue. President Coin presents the case like it's the most logical conclusion in the world:

"After all the hardship the Capitol had put us through, we should even the score and conduct one final Hunger Games and throw the Capitol children into the arena. It's only fair."

Before Peeta could even form this outrageousness into words, Johanna voices her vote. And she agrees. Peeta blatantly gawks at her with a stunned, disgusted face. She rolls her eyes at him.

"Don't look at me like that, Bread Boy. I don't want this all to be for nothing."

Peeta is practically ready to explode. But again, he gets interrupted, this time by Annie. She votes no and Peeta sighs in brief relief. Sometimes, it's the mad ones who can see the truth most clearly. Peeta gives a vehement no, followed by Beetee. Annie adds that if Finnick were here, he would vote no as well. President Coin, obviously displeased by the majority vote, simply nods curtly and dismisses them.

-::-

The revelation occurs at the very last second, when Katniss stands beside Peeta in the balcony of the mansion, overlooking the rest of the people in the Capitol below. President Coin stands before them, addressing the crowd in celebratory words and gregarious hand gestures.

"We have done it, Panem. We have brought down the monstrosity and oppression. From this day on, we will construct a new Panem."

Something clicks into place in Katniss's mind. Everything about President Coin…is a lie. But Katniss knew it all along, didn't she? She never trusted Coin from the beginning.

"Today, we shall honor all our fallen friends and heroes. In particular, let us mourn the death of our Mockingjay. Primrose and the others had actually survived the first bombing in the Capitol, but she was sadly victim to the final bombings before the mansion. As new president, I officially declare today to be Primrose Everdeen Day to commemorate our beloved Mockingjay."

Prim was not an unfortunate casualty. Coin planned the final bombings in the first place. In fact—oh god. Did Coin intentionally try to kill Prim? She must have known that after they won the war, more people would be willing to follow Prim than herself, and Prim, like her sister, had never been too keen with the District 13 president. Was she afraid she would not have Prim's support and thus unable to become the new president of Panem? Is that really her only ultimate objective? She had known they were alive and that they were waiting for rescue on the Capitol streets. Did she send the bombs not despite Prim's presence at the scene, but because of Prim's presence?

Did President Coin kill Prim?

Tell me, Snow had said, do you really believe your other president is any better than I am?

They're not telling you the truth, Johanna had said. President Coin is only using you so she can take over Panem.

You can see the truth, Boggs had said. You know who the real enemy is.

And she realizes they killed the wrong president.

-::-

Katniss shoots Coin in the middle of her speech.

-::-

There's a trial. Plutarch somehow gets Katniss released of all charges on account of post-traumatic stress disorder for losing Prim. It's a completely false excuse, but Katniss doesn't fight it. She doesn't want to fight ever again. Plutarch sends her home to District 12 where they have begun reconstruction. Her mom doesn't return with her; home is filled with too many memories now and she can't stand it. Haymitch isn't there anymore; he's dead. Gale goes to District 2 with his family instead; he can't face Katniss and be reminded of their marriage that never happened. And Peeta remains in the Capitol; he's trying to build a new better nation with the new remaining leaders left alive.

It's just Katniss Everdeen in the Victor's Village, feeling more alone than ever.

One day, to better cope with all the good ghosts that haunt her, she starts to make a book of all the people that died. She begins with Prim, then Haymitch, then Finnick, Boggs, Wiress, Sapphire, Cinna, Cato, Kenton, Rue. Every time she writes one name down, she thinks of five more. It's a long process, but it helps.

She wouldn't have even known there was a special broadcast if Greasy Sae hadn't visited and told her. Apparently, they've finally figured something out in the Capitol and are announcing the new leadership. Greasy Sae tells her that its rumored Peeta got appointed to an official position, a Secretary or Chief or Director something, so Katniss turns on the television for the first time since she's returned home.

Commander Paylor is the new president, so she's President Paylor now. Katniss nods at the screen. At least Paylor genuinely cares about the people of Panem. They could do a lot worse than Paylor. The new president gives a short address and immediately, you can sense the difference. The words aren't cleverly scripted lies, there are no hidden agendas, there is only a woman with a sincere smile and kind eyes telling a broken nation that things will get better, she promises. Then, she introduces the rest of the national leaders. Katniss glances down the line and picks out the faces she recognizes: Plutarch, Beetee, and some people from District 13. But nowhere does she see Peeta Mellark. Greasy Sae did say he was part of this, correct?

"And, originally, the new Director of Free Trade was Peeta Mellark, but a few hours ago, we received notice of his resignation…"

Katniss sits up in her seat and leans closer to the screen. Resignation? The boy resigned before his term even began?

There's a cough from behind.

Slowly, Katniss turns around. There, standing in her living room, is the ex-Director of Free Trade himself.

"What are you doing here?"

"You left your door unlocked."

"No, what are you doing here in District 12? Why aren't you there?"

She points to the screen. He shrugs and walks a few steps closer.

"I'd rather be here."

"But you could have a position of authority. You could make a difference. You could make history. You gave all that up for…?"

He just gives her a pointed look.

She promptly shuts her mouth. He takes a few more steps closer until he is standing right before her. She looks into his blue eyes and sees the same adoration, just framed by some wrinkles of stress and tiredness. It's hard to believe that after everything that has happened, Peeta could still be in love with her.

She thinks she doesn't deserve him. She doesn't deserve to be happy when so many others are buried six feet under. Hell, she doesn't deserve to be alive.

But she is, and even if it's a mistake of fate, maybe it's something worth cherishing. In this cruel world, happy endings are far and few but every once in a while, one will walk right in through your unlocked front door.

-::-

In the end, it's Peeta and Katniss, back in District 12, just trying to find a new beginning.

Some people are born fighters and some people are born survivors. It doesn't make them any less significant.

-::-

My name is Primrose Everdeen. I was thirteen years old. This is the story of how I won the Hunger Games and started a revolution, how a nation rose to its feet and got knocked back down to the ground, how heroes died at the hands of villains in disguise. And I hope you always remember.

super sorry this took forever and a half for me to write. but hey, i totally stayed in my dorm last saturday night to finish this instead of going out with my friends, so that's some real dedication right there.

i already know some of you will be unsatisfied with the ending. just know that this is what i had planned from the beginning, that it would start AU with prim going to the games instead, but it would end the same. it kind of ties back to the many worlds theory (read my wowp story april 29, 2010 if you're interested in parallel universes and destiny and all that stuff). prim was always going to die, katniss was always going to end up with peeta. this storyline was just a different means to the end.

anyway, i hope you liked it! thanks for reading, my lovelies :) please review or drop me an ask on tumblr (skinandfunnybones) and tell me what you think.