A/N: So I saw this thing on Twitter and simply had to update. By the way, adaptations into other languages are perfectly fine with me, as long as you include the link to the original story in there! Here's the link to the Korean translation if anyone wants to check it out. Yes, I am Korean. Replace the dashes with periods. (twishort-com-cd0hc)

Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Rings.

Aragorn
The Road
999999 Middle-earth
Arda

Dear Estel,

What is your sanitary kit doing on top of my drawers?

Curious,
~Elladan

Elrohir
Rivendell
02448 Middle-earth
Arda

Dear Elladan,

Do you have any plans to drop by Mordor this week? With the sanitary kit?

Sincerely,
~Aragorn

Aragorn
The Road
999999 Middle-earth
Arda

Aragorn,

Your brother is not the Arda postal service, young man. Will forward the sanitary kid via package anyway. Arwen and your brothers agree that you need it. Desperately so, if I may add.

Sincerely,
~Elrond

Lord Elrond
Rivendell
02448 Middle-earth
Arda

Dear Elrond,

Thanks, Dad. Thanks. How in Isildur's name could you confuse my kit with someone else's, anyway? Because if I remember correctly, the sanitary kit I left back home in Imladris didn't have pink packaging. Nor was it wrapped in lace ribbons of any sort.

To top it off, the contents of it were so overload it was ridiculous. Who bought the perfume and put it in? Good grace, Elrohir, I somehow know it's you. You could have at least left a note that says it contains pheromones! Now I have a blonde who can't cook to save her life drooling after me and my crown on top of the rest of the fellowship.

Gotta go. Frodo's giving me the googly eyes again. Legolas sends his regards.

~Aragorn

Aragorn
The Road
99999 Middle-earth
Arda

Dear Aragorn,

FYI, it wasn't me who put that stupid perfume in. Everything was totally Dad's idea. He's somehow gotten into this notion that he can marry you off to a human maiden in Gondor or Rohan or whatever and sail away to Valinor with Arwen at his side. Life's tough, huh?

Best,
~Elrohir

Gandalf
Mordor
01110 Middle-earth
Arda

Mithrandir,

Remind me of the way to Mount Doom again?

Regards,
~Gwaihir

Lord of the Eagles
Wherever You Are
99998 Middle-earth
Arda

Dear Gwaihir,

Let me ask Boromir and get back to you.

Sincerely,
~Gandalf

Gandalf
Mordor
01110 Middle-earth
Arda

Mithrandir,

But I thought he was dead?

Truly perplexed,
~Gwaihir

Lord of the Eagles
Wherever You Are
99998 Middle-earth
Arda

Dear Gwaihir,

Shoot, man. My apologies. Rebirth sort of does this to you; Glorfindel ought to know. Yes, Boromir is dead; he died on the outskirts of the woods near the Anduin. I'm actually really surprised that he was the only one to kick the bucket. You'd normally expect the midgets to go down first. But no, 'tis never the case. Maybe I should get some hair implanted on my feet, too.

Your, etc., etc.,
~Gandalf

Gandalf
Mordor
01110 Middle-earth
Arda

Mithrandir,

I strongly don't recommend it. Oh, and tell that squeaky hobbit boy of yours to quit spoiling my #Majestic appearance. Doesn't do quite well for the specific effects, oh no.

Regards,
~Gwaihir

Reviews and feedback are always appreciated, thank you!

~Enchanted Authoress