Saving What's Left

By: Liv=x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

Ch. 1: Breaking Heat, Shattered Soul

Olivia had been at work for almost 4 days straight and her back was aching. She'd only had one night in her bed before that, and then only a 4-hour-sleep after going out with the boys to celebrate the end of a case. She pushed open her front door with relief. "Honey, I'm home." This was usually met with a grumpy reply and then a kiss hello, but today there was silence. The apartment felt empty.

As Olivia went to put down her badge in its usual place, she saw a letter. With a frown, she opened it. "Liv. I have no idea how long it will be before you're home, so I'll let you know we left on Tuesday. I've left you. Goodbye. Casey."

Olivia instantly tried her phone, but it just kept ringing. She fell onto to bed. She knew the hours had put a strain on them, and with the baby, and her not being there, Casey was left to pick up the slack. She was good under pressure, but...

She sighed, hearing the mailbox pick up. "Case, it's me. I know my hours are horrible, that we've been strained with everything going on, but I had no idea it was...but I don't blame you. Don't you think I deserve an explanation? A real one? Not just that you've left. I did all this for you, the two of you. I..." her voice broke, "I still love you with everything I have. I want to put things right. Just tell me what I need to do. I'll do anything. I wish you weren't in so much pain you felt the need to leave. Talk to me," she sighed, hanging up, hoping she wouldn't delete it.

Casey, sitting in a hotel room on a huge, lonely bed, listened to the message several times, her fingers caressing the photo of Olivia that appeared before typing out a message. "I've tried to talk to you. You don't listen. You never listen. There's no point anymore."

Olivia woke up from the beep, not that she'd been able to sleep. She sat up, reading the message. "I'm always too tired when I get home. Which I would guess is the problem. But I'll listen now, I promise."

"Now is too late, Olivia. Please let me know when you'll be out next, I need to pick up some of Sophie's toys."

"No, I'll bring them. Right now. Where are you? Don't I even get to see her to, at least, say..." she couldn't finish it as she hit Send.

There was a long pause before Casey replied. "Room 108 at The International."

Olivia packed a bag with clothes and toys, before pulling the small box from her nightstand. Opening it, it had a ring with their birthstones, one for Sophie and an empty one.

She knocked on the hotel room door, holding the box in her pocket.

A few moments later, Casey opened the door with a sleepy Sophie in her arms. Sophie had marks all over her face, and when Casey saw the look on Olivia's face, she rolled her eyes, leaving the door open as she walked back in. "Chicken pox. Which you'd know if you ever listened to the messages I left you."

Olivia sighed. "What do you want from me?"

"Toys. You offered to bring them." Casey dropped a kiss to Sophie's head, sitting back down in the armchair with her.

Olivia opened the bag, pulling out a couple stuffed animals and a teething ring, handing them to Casey. As soon as their skin touched, Olivia kissed her fingers, holding her hand. "I know it's my fault and I'm so sorry. I know this won't make up for anything, but..." she set the box on Casey's lap with the ring as she kissed Sophie's cheek. "Think of her if nothing else," she said as tears began.

Casey lowered her eyes, putting the ring on the table without looking at it. "I have been, Olivia. I was thinking about her when I had to rush her to hospital 3 days ago because she had a really high fever, I was thinking about her when I left you a million messages...and when the doctor told me it was dangerous for a pregnant woman to look after someone with chicken pox, I still thought of her and the fact that I'm all she has."

Olivia's eyes widened. "P-pregnant? I—you're—" she sat on the bed. "Of course, I would know that if I was around more often, but what do you want me to do, Case? Retire?"

"That's not what I want. I've never asked that. Look, you've dropped off toys, so if you don't mind, I'd like to get to bed."

"Casey...what do you want?"

"Sleep."

She shook her head. "What's it going to take? I'll do anything. Even sit with her while you get some sleep."

Casey sighed and rubbed her temple. "Olivia...go. What I want is for you to go. If I'd wanted to try and discuss this further, I would have stayed at the apartment. You may not remember having this conversation, but we have, hundreds of times, and I'm bored of it." She stood, placing a sleeping Sophie in her cot.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her belly. "So...there's nothing you want from me? Please, don't fight. Without the three of you, what do I have? I love you, I swear. The next time you see me I won't be a cop," her hands left as she walked toward the door. "If this is what's destroyed us, I'll get rid of it. I've worked enough years now. Seen too many dead women and children. You were the one who made me okay again Casey. I'd come home, curl up with you and feel better, but without you, I won't have my sanity anymore, so the next time you prosecute, when you do, I won't be there."

"...The issue is you didn't come home Olivia. I'm glad when you did it made you feel better, but you rarely did and you never told me what was going on, where you'd be, you never replied to any messages or calls... you…forget it. I'm tired." She opened the door.

Olivia sighed, hugging her tightly and kissing her cheek, relishing the feel and smell of her. "The next time I come back, I hope you're here." And she pulled away and left.

She went back to the station, tapping Elliot on the shoulder. "We need to talk."

He yawned, rubbing his tired face. "I thought you were going home to get a few hours sleep?"

She just shook her head, tears rolling down. "I've...I've got no reason to anymore. That's...why we need to talk."

He stood, leading her gently to an interrogation room. "What's happened? Are Case and Sophie ok?"

She sighed, handing him the note. "There at a hotel, but..."

"And you're here?! Go and talk to her!"

She shoved him into the wall in rage. "I tried that! She doesn't want anything to do with me! And-and she's pregnant, again..."

Elliot let her push him several times before pulling her into his arms, hugging her tightly. "Keep trying, Liv. All I can think of...is don't give up. That's what saved me and Kathy."

"H-how? What do I do? I can't retire, not yet!"

"You know she doesn't want you to, Liv. She understands why you do what you do. Look. Go home, take a few days off. Sleep for a bit, then go and see her in the morning once you're calmer."

She sighed. "I wouldn't be surprised if she's long gone by then."

"Then…book another room at the hotel?"

She sighed. "Th-that's not a bad idea."

A day or so later, with a small duffel bag, Olivia ended up in the room right next to her without her knowing. It was about 1AM and Sophie wouldn't stop screaming. She knocked on the door.

Tears in her eyes, fresh from a call from reception complaining about the noise, Casey opened the door, eyes trained to Sophie. "I'm sorry. She's not well."

Olivia nodded. "I know that, Case. Let me help. You've got enough on your plate right now."

Casey's eyes flew up to look at her and hesitated, but she'd been trying for almost an hour and nothing he tried was working. With a sigh, she placed Sophie in her arms and closed the door.

Olivia rocked the little girl, knocking once more. "Diaper bag, blanket, and binky please."

Casey looked at the things splayed around the room and gave another sigh before opening the door. "Just come in." She left the door open and walked to the bed, slipping in.

Olivia walked in, closing the door behind her. "Shh, shh, let's see. Ahh, here's the nummy to make that fever go away," she pulled the syringe with the correct dosage, waiting for her to suck on it before pushing it gently. She wiped her mouth, walking around with her and sitting in the chair.

Casey pulled the blankets up around her chin and closed her eyes, lying on her side and facing away from them.

Olivia sighed, relaxing in the chair as she grabbed an animal for her to suck on, kissing her head. "That's my little girl. It's no fun being sick, huh?" Within an hour, both were fast asleep in the chair.

Casey however, was unable to sleep, and rolled over once they were both quiet, watching them silently. Finally she stood, taking Sophie gently and laying her in her cot, covering her up and giving her favorite toy to her. Returning to Olivia, she looked down at her, unsure what to do.

Unknown to Casey, Olivia woke as she took the child from her and was now staring at her through the darkness. "I suppose you want me to go too now, huh?" she whispered.

"...You look tired."

"Yeah, of course I am. I couldn't sleep last night. All I could think was how badly I messed up, that I can't fix it and now you're gone with our children away from me and you don't want me anymore."

Not wanting to think of what could happen to her at work if she was too tired, Casey stood for a moment before speaking softly. "Use the bed."

Olivia shook her head. "No, you need it. I still remember how sore your back got, even early on, with Sophie. I'd roll over in bed to you crying from the pain and try to make it better and...why are you doing this? It's just making me feel worse."

Casey sighed and stayed still in the darkness before returning to the bed and pulling away one of the blankets and returning it to her, laying it over her. It smelt of Casey's perfume. Silently, she returned to the bed.

"Hey Casey?" she whispered.

"What?"

"...If you need something..." she couldn't finish the sentence. She was the one who worked the long hours to provide for them. Casey knew that. "...I'm here."

"Tonight, you are, for once."

Olivia sighed, covering herself in the thin comforter and inhaling Casey's perfume. It broke her heart to lose her, lose them, but it wasn't as if it could never happen. Because she worked long hours she hadn't had the time to answer calls or text replies. They were losing viral connections.

She pulled out her phone, finally listening to the voicemails of how Casey missed her and asked why she never woke her up when she got home. In the last message about Sophie, telling her how sick she was and that they needed her home, Olivia could clearly tell how frightened she was, which showed she put on her court face, even now. She closed the phone, after putting it on Silent, and putting it back in her pocket.

Casey had come to her, had tried again and again, but Casey didn't think she or the kids were enough anymore. They were. Olivia knew that. She just had to prove it.

Sophie only slept for a couple of hours before waking again, grumbling softly. Casey had finally fallen asleep, tears drying on her cheeks.

Olivia rose to her feet, pulling her from her cot. "Sshhh. What's the matter? You feel cooler." she walked over to the table, turning on a lamp. She dug in the bag, fixing a bottle quickly before microwaving it a bit. "Are you hungry, huh? I bet you are," she sat back in the chair, feeding the child whose fever had reduced, but was still covered in chicken pox. "There. That's my big girl. Yes."

Sophie looked up at her with big eyes, letting go of the bottle to smile up at her, revealing to Olivia the begging of several teeth that she'd missed seeing come through.

"Oh, that's what's the matter, huh?" setting the bottle down, she grabbed a cold teething ring. "Here, suck on this."

Sophie grabbed it eagerly, sucking on it, taking it out occasionally to give wide grins to Olivia, clearly a game Casey enjoyed playing with her.

Olivia smiled at her, cuddling her close.

Sophie began muttering baby words at her, chattering away like she was having a conversation.

Casey gave a soft groan and rolled over, rubbing her face sleepily.

"Sshhh, let Mama sleep. We have to be quirt," she whispered.

"Mama!"

She smiled. "That's right. Yay!"

Casey, awake, didn't have the heart to tell her she'd now knew several words, and instead rolled over once more and pulled the blankets up over her head.

Olivia rocked her as Sophie sucked on the cold ring, her eyes drooping. Olivia stood, walking around with her a bit, until she was fast asleep. She laid her back in her cot then turned the light off, eyes on Casey as she, herself, wrestled with sleep, wanting to be awake in case she needed her.

Casey felt Olivia watching her, and knowing one of them would probably be up again with Sophie soon enough, she slowly pushed back the covers from one side of the bed with her foot. "Go to sleep, Olivia."

"I'm...fine... You don't have to do everything."

"Get in, Liv."

She got up, without argument, and slid in. "Why?"

"Because it's cold, and you're tired, and aside from physically throwing you out, there's not any other way to get you to leave the room, so get some sleep." She rolled away from her, closing her eyes.

She sighed. "All right." Olivia laid there, but she wasn't warm, just exhausted and soon passed out.

When Olivia woke the next morning, the sun from the window resting on her, Casey had rolled over and was now curled up against her, her lips pressed against Olivia's collarbone in a sleeping kiss.

Olivia comfortably wrapped her arms around her, fearing when she would wake up and pull away.

Sophie was the first to wake, and announced loudly, "Poops! Poops!"

Olivia sighed, laying Casey to the side before getting up to change Sophie. After she heated a bottle and sat beside a sleeping Casey, feeding the child.

Sophie's chattering woke Casey who, after working out where she was, slid from the bed. She stood awkwardly for a moment before speaking. "If you don't mind staying for a few more minutes, I'll have a shower, then Sophie and I have a few appointments."

Olivia nodded. "Go ahead."

Casey walked into the bathroom, resting against the door and listening to Olivia talk for a while before walking to the shower. Once she'd washed and dressed, she walked out, taking Sophie from Olivia's arms. "Thank you for your help. I'm sure you need to get to work now." Without looking at her, she turned her back, walking to where she'd stored Sophie's clothes.

Olivia stayed where she was.

As she picked out clothes, she glanced back. "You can go now."

"I took a couple days off. I'd like to go with you and Sophie."

"..You think a couple of days will fix things?" Casey put Sophie on the bed, her clothes next to her.

"No, but can't we start there and keep going? Casey, do you still love me?"

Casey didn't reply as she dressed Sophie.

Olivia rested a hand on her shoulder. "Please answer me. I love you guys. If I didn't I wouldn't be working so hard for you. This is the last thing I would ever want. Okay, I'm less than perfect for most, but you used to tell me you loved that about me. How I fought so hard for so long for what was right and that you'd take even a second. I realize I...haven't been the best, but I love you and I want there to be an 'us' again. Don't you want that?"

"...What I want is to see you more than once a week, for more than an hour before you go to sleep. What I want is for you to want to spend time with us." She pulled on Sophie's jacket and picked her up, kissing her cheek. "Are you ready to go and see your favorite aunty?"

"I want that too. It's just...Casey..."

"Just what? There shouldn't be any just." She pulled her bag over her head, grabbing the baby carrier before pulling open the door.

Olivia grabbed her free wrist. "You're right...about everything. I should be home more, keep in contact. I don't deserve all that you've given me these past years... But I need you, need them."

"Then...prove it." Casey pulled her hand away and walked from the room.

Olivia followed her.

Author's Note: So, now what do you think will happen?

I know we haven't updated Cabin Fever in... *squirms* over a month, but we've been writing a lot on others. We'll get back to that one.

Please R & R!

Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles