A/N: So this is kinda wordy, and has no real POV, which is a known issue, but it was floating around my head so I just plunked it down to get it out. The lack of scenery description is intentional, as it was meant to just be dialogue. An intended reprimand devolves into an interesting conversation between master and servant. Alucard's used to getting women just by being seductive and powerful, and Seras needs a little more than that.

Integra Hellsing chewed restlessly on the end of a cigar as she regarded the creature before her with sharp, reprimanding eyes. The no life king, for his part, sat smugly reclined in the chair opposite his master's desk, with all the casual grace of a fattened housecat, grinning madly at the fond memories of his canary dinner.

A few minutes of tense silence passed before the woman spoke.

"Alucard, Walter tells me you have been harassing our employees again." She stated coolly.

A deranged chuckle slipped from the beast's lips. "Harassing is hardly the correct term, Master. Toying would be more appropriate."

"Regardless of the semantics, I believe we can both agree that you were partaking in an inappropriate behavior that you have previously been warned against. Am I wrong?" Integra's eyes glistened like blue steel.

A glint of humor appeared in the vampire's crimson gaze. "Perhaps not. But in this particular case, I do believe the semantics are quite important. For you see, I can recall being warned against a number of things, in regards to your employees. Frightening, dismembering, hunting, eating; the list goes on and on. This time, I was merely dallying. Surely that's not a crime?"

Integra gave an exasperated snort. "Alucard, you were stalking the maids."

"Observing." He injected.

"Regardless of the term," She bit out. "It is still inappropriate. They cannot do their jobs with you leering at them."

"That is not my problem." He stated.

"But it is my problem, as is your behavior. Please refrain from such activities in the future."

Alucard let out a long suffered, and much unnecessary sigh. "As if the mercenaries are any better. I suppose I am permitted even from being a man now."

"You aren't a man, Alucard. You're a monster. You've told me such yourself." Integra pointed out.

"A male then." He sneered grouchily.

"Walter tells me that even that may have been in question at one point." Integra stated smugly.

"That was merely an interesting change of perspective. Born of convenience I assure you." He commented in dismissal.

"Perhaps you should harass your fledgling, instead of my maids." Integra tried again.

Alucard actually laughed at that one. "I am quite sure that the poor thing would faint at the mere prospect; virgin sensibilities and all. But you wouldn't know anything about that, would you, Master?"

"Enough of your sass, Alucard." Integra commented dryly. However, the master vampire continued on as if he hadn't heard her.

"Apparently I am intimidating. Who would have thought?" He sneered in sarcasm. "My darling draculina makes the oddest strangled squeak and scurries away like a frightened mouse at the slightest innuendo from me, but those geese can leer at her all day and she pays them no mind."

"Perhaps she realizes they aren't serious." Integra offered.

"Some of them are. Quite the naughty little fantasies they have." He grinned at her.

"That is not surprising. Perhaps then it is the fact that they are merely mortal men, and she feels no danger from them. You could certainly hurt her if you had the mind to."

"Correct, but I don't." He said.

"You may need to make that more clear." Integra pointed out.

"I haven't dismembered her." Alucard grouched.

"Restraint, however appreciated, is not the most obvious form of expression. I highly doubt that simply not maiming her is enough to develop trust in you." Integra said.

"She trusts me with her life." He said.

Integra regarded him with a calm, measured expression. "Life, heart, and body are all different things, especially to a woman. And in her case, I'd imagine the last two are closely tied."

"Once upon a time, things weren't so complicated." He mused, gazing up at the ceiling.

"Ah, but we are in a new age, Count. Though what Seras seeks is not so different. I believe it has been yearned for all along."

A strange glint played across crimson eyes as he eyed her again. "By even you, Master?"

Integra took a long draw of her cigar, waving a hand in dismissal. "I have no patience for such frivolities. The police girl, however, deserves some semblance of the emotion in her death, I think. Seeing how it seems life was hell bent to deny her of it."

"You may be correct there, my master. Indeed you have given me much to think about." He intoned thoughtfully.

"Good. You can spend more time thinking and less time stalking my maids." She said briskly, sitting up in her seat.

"As you wish, my master." He grinned darkly.

"You are dismissed, servant." She ordered.

"Yes, Master." He gave her a nod and rose lazily, before exiting through the nearest wall.