Until I Find Home

Chapter 1: When a Hobbit is Perfectly Content

As far as he could tell you, Samwise Gamgee was content. He had his own home on the Shire, a beautiful wife and child, stable job and food on the table. A life a hobbit could be content with. But that was the problem...

He was just content.

It had been years since Sam accompanied Frodo and the Fellowship to Mordor, and years since he'd felt joyous about something. Seeing the world outside the Shire made his home feel...small. Not hobbit-sized, but small and desolate. Even with the bustling about Rosie and his toddler did, Sam couldn't help but feel that the house was always quite empty. But empty it wouldn't be for much longer, as Rosie startled him out of thought. "Sam, quickly, go get the candles. They'll be over any minute!" she breathed, scuttling out of the room in a hurry. Despite the rushed tone, Sam hoisted himself out of his seat slowly and started towards the cupboards. "Which do you want, the white ones or the blue ones?" "The white ones" "And the gold candlesticks" "Yes the gold-" A knock interrupts them "That's them! Sam, Sam! Go put them on the table and light them, I'll get the door"

"Merry! Pippin! How are you!" Rosie chimed, greeting the guests in the other room. Sam beamed, lighting the candles as he heard them return the greeting. The flickering candle light seemed to soak up the warmth of their voices and bask the room in a familiarity Sam missed. The turned into the dining room, arms spread wide.

"Sam Gamgee!"

"Sam Gamgee!"

"We hardly missed you" "Well hardly meaning very hard. Like someone hit you with a loaf of stale bread across the face" "How've you been? Watching grass grow?" Sam smiled at their back and forth, neither of them realizing they were 20 questions deep into a conversation and Sam hadn't spoken a word yet. "Its good to see you too" he finally spoke up. The two were now completely off topic, babbling on about a fishing trip they had had last week. Merry was going on about how Pippin managed to capsize their boat as Rosie brought out the food. "And I'm sitting in the water screaming 'Pippin! Why'd you go and do that for?' And he turns to me..oh he turns to me and says 'It wasn't me! It was a giant wave!' The loon stand up in the boat and all of a sudden a giant wave hits us, yeah right"

Rosie puts down her fork. "So you do, word has it you're looking to move? Is that true?" Sam snapped his head round. The two blondes stifled a giggle. "Ahh you can't keep secrets here. Umm, Pippin and I are quite happy together here, but are currently looking for something else." Rosie cocked her head to the side. "Elsewhere? But you live on such a lovely hill." Pippin's face became sullen "Yes, well, the hillside isn't the problem." Sam understood completely. Hobbiton wasn't particularly good with dealing with "outside". Outside the Shire there was war, discrimination, unrest. But the hobbits of Hobbiton never fully understood that the bad was even matched with the good. Beautiful elves, valiant humans, people who cared enough about their friendships that they put aside cultural differences. Merry and Pippin knew this, as did Sam.

"Of course not, your parents built such a lovely home there. Never too warm, never too cold" Sam's gut wretched at Rosie's response. It wasn't terribly rude, just terribly hobbit like. Polite, ignorant, sheltered... Sam had long given up on his dreams of sharing outside with Rosie. When they were first married, he used to take her on long walks. One time he managed to stroll her all the way to the edge of the Shire. He stepped over the line, and reached out a hand for her. Rosie pulled away, and scolded Sam for trying to take her outside. Sam had never found a hobbit willing to step outside the Shire- not since Frodo left.

Frodo...oh how he missed him.

Merry jumped in with an attempt to salvage the conversation "Well, in any case, I hear the price of luxury homes in Mordor are extremely affordable." Pippin snorted, and playfully slugged Merry's shoulder. Merry threw a wink at Sam, who managed to smile through the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He watched the two blondes move together as they spoke. Whenever Pippin seemed low, Merry seemed to perk him up. There was playful tapping, nudging, jokes, smiles. Sam smiled, but couldn't ignore that nagging feeling deep down inside him. This was all coming to an end.

Merry and Pippin seldom left their hillside home to go visit people, as the time "outside" made them cracked. They could no longer engage in simple hobbit activities without hobbits once they'd told all their stories. At the end of the day, the rest of the hobbits went home with romanticized tales of war and loyalty, while the boys suffered through nightmares of their time outside. But none the less they made life bearable. They had each other. When they were out, they were attached at the hip; fishing, shopping, taking long walks to the outside of the Shire and back. They often took long weekends to neighboring towns. Sam had noticed it little by little, their drifting away from him. They got further and further, and ultimately they would detach themselves from here and fly free.

Hadn't they already decided upon it?

After dessert, second dessert, and a few casks of ale, the hobbits concluded their little dinner date. Rosie started to clear the table, and their guests put on their coats. "Rosie, dear, I'm going to walk them out a bit." "Ok!". They exited the house and traveled up the path towards the hills. "So the misses and I loved having you over. Luckily Lucy was so tuckered out that she slept right through it, huh." Merry smirked, but let it fall quickly. "Sam, I'm sorry we didn't tell you...about our leaving. We didn't mean for anyone to find out until we were ready and decided, but word gets out here quickly." Sam fidgeted with his cloak nervously. "Its alright, fellas. You're my friends, am I right? I'd expect you to tell me at some point." Pippin trotted next to the gardener. "We'll always be here for you, Sam. But the Shire just...it just isn't..." "It isn't a place for cracked hobbits" Their pace slowed to a stop, and Sam glanced back at the light spilling out of his home. "I...ought to start back now." Pippin rested a hand on the hobbit's shoulder. "Sam, if you're not...happy...you can always come find us. No questions asked, you can stay with us in or out of town." Sam smirked "Out of town? Why, do you have a secret house somewhere, Pippin?" A mischievous smile crawled across Pippin's face. "Not a home, exactly, more like an empty building I want to put my stuff in." Merry laughed. "Its where we run off to on long weekends."

Merry produced a piece of paper with an address scribbled upon it. "Like we said, if you're all that unhappy and need to get away for a while come find us." Sam glanced down at the paper. "Mirkwood? You're living in Mirkwood? Have you seen-" "Legolas? Yes. When he's with Aragorn." "Gets a little weird when they speak Elvish though" "It's like we're not part of that club, so we made up our own Hobbit Code using foods as code words." Sam laughed. It was just like these two. He tucked the paper away into his pocket and turned towards his friends. "I hope to see you soon. Thank you so much."

The two blondes locked arms with each other, and then reached out to hug Sam. "Til' next time, old pal."

As his friends disappeared down the road, Sam slipped back into the warm pools of light streaming out the windows of the hobbit hole. Glancing inside he could see Rosie, now done clearing the table, sitting cozily in a chair reading. That annoying feeling came back again, but Sam swallowed it and came into the house. "Uhhh Rosie, dear?" "Yes?" "I have to stop by Bag End for a spell." "But its night time" "I...I know. I think I just left my spade there. I need it for tomorrow." "Oh ok then."

With that he hurried out of the hobbit hole and onto the dirt path, making his way down to the only place in Hobbiton that still welcomed him...

[A/N] This is my first LOTR and Sam/Frodo fic (all in one, how exciting) so please read and review. I'd love feedback!