Fire and Ice

Summary: Emily puts herself in danger on a case. How does Hotch handle it?

Disclaimer: Don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters. And that's a damn shame to.

Morgan and Reid looked up at the closed door to their supervisor's office and cringed at the loud voices they could hear coming from the other side.

"Hotch you can't be serious." Emily yelled at the man standing in front of her.

"I am very serious Prentiss. What you did today was reckless and you not only endangered your life but the life of Colby Leighton." Hotch yelled back at her.

"Well sir, if you don't trust me to be able to protect myself in the field then maybe you shouldn't have me out alone."

"Prentiss you were shot…" Hotch tried to speak only to be cut off by his subordinate.

"No Hotch, I did what I had to do to save the life of that little boy. Whether it was right for me to go in there by myself or not doesn't matter. I still saved his life and his parents have him home with them tonight instead of having to plan for his funeral. Everything I did today I would do again if it meant I would save just one person." Emily's voice grew louder as she spoke.

"I don't know what your problem is with me or is it women in general that pisses you off Hotch? Doesn't really matter to me either way; you need to get your head out of your ass Hotch and stop thinking that you are better at this job than everyone else. I did my job and I saved Colby Leighton's life, that's all that matters Hotch. So I go shot, we all face that every time we go out into the field and you know it." Her voice was the loudest she had ever been with him; it was laced with venom and he could see the anger raging in her eyes.

"Damn it Prentiss that's enough." Hotch yelled, dropping his his head trying to control the emotions he was feeling.

"Go home until I figure out how I am going to handle this."

"Fine, have it your way SIR." Emily said before walking out and slamming the door behind her.

Hotch would never have thought hearing her call him sir would ever sound like she was cussing him but that exactly what it sounded like. He looked out his office window and down into the bullpen and watched Emily gather her things together, gingerly with her arm in a sling. He could tell she was hurting but he couldn't tell if the pain in her eyes was from the the gunshot wound in her shoulder or if it was from him yelling at her. It was probably both if he was honest. He was still staring at her when she looked up at him and had this look in her eyes that he couldn't decipher, and then she turned and almost ran to the elevator and away from him.

God why was it always so hard to talk to her? Since her return from Paris they had gotten closer but she never let down her guard these days. Never let him in past the wall she had erected around herself. She had resumed her relationships with rest of the team as if she hadn't been gone. But with him she held him at arm's length never letting him get to close, never showing her emotions of how she was really feeling. How could he break down that wall? How could he show her that he valued her as a member of this team and that he was glad she was back among their folds? Why couldn't he tell her how he really felt about her? Why didn't he tell her the reason he put her into hiding and let the team believe she was dead; the real and not just because he wanted to protect her? God why did it always have to be so hard?

Emily sat in her car in the parking garage with her head on the steering wheel. How could she have been so stupid? Yelling at Hotch was never what she wanted to do but as soon as she saw the doubt in his eyes her blood boiled with anger. Anger at how he didn't trust her anymore; not since her return form the dead. She was stupid to think she could come back and everything would be like it was before she left. She closed herself off from him; she couldn't let her guard down around him, afraid he would see her true feelings and nothing could come of that except for his cold hard rejection. That was something she knew she would not be able to handle. How did she let things get this far? She had always been good at compartmentalizing everything; everything that is except her feelings for Aaron Hotchner. How had her feelings gone from respect, admiration and maybe a simple crush to something as deep as this? Was it lust? Yes. Was it love? Possibly. She didn't know why she had blown up at him like that. He always brought out emotions she had a hard time controlling but the anger that boiled out of her was something that she had not been prepared for. It shocked her but there was no taking it back now.

Emily sat on her couch staring out of the widow in a daze, music playing quietly in the background. She was so lost in thought that she never heard the knock on the door or the knock that followed that one a minute later. She never heard the key in the lock or the door closing softly behind the person who had let themself into her apartment. She never heard the footsteps walking towards her or the sound of them stopping a few away. Emily sat there crying silently oblivious to all around until she felt a hand wrap around her arm.

Emily let out a small cry in shock at the hand around her until she looked up and saw that it was Hotch. Seeing the tormented look in his broke her and tears renewed in full force, falling down her face in a steady stream. Hotch pulled her up and into his arms and held her close, her face against his chest. He felt her stiffen slightly before she relaxed into him and wrapped her arm that wasn't in a sling around his waist, hugging him tightly to her as she cried.

"Emily please don't cry; I'm so sorry I yelled at you. Please don't cry." Hotch said trying to comfort her as he ran his hand up and down her back while the other one cupped the back of her head holding her to him.

"Hotch I'm sorry. It's my fault I should never have gone in to that house by myself. I knew what could happen but I needed to prove to myself, to the team… to you that I could still be an asset to this team. I'm sorry I yelled at you, I'm so sorry Hotch. I didn't mean what I said. I know you don't think you are better than the rest of us." She cried into his chest; her body trembling beneath his hands as he pulled her flush against his solid frame.

"Shhh… it's ok." He said as he pulled back slightly so he could look in to her eyes.

"I'm sorry Em. When we got there and I realized you had already gone in I was scared. Then I heard the gunshot and then three more shots… my heart stopped. I thought I had lost you. Again."

"Hotch…"

"No let me finish, please. I thought I lost you and that scared the hell out of me. I wasn't prepared this time for it, not like last time. When I sent you away after Doyle, I knew you were alive and that helped with the pain of you not being here. But this time I thought you were gone and I would never see you again. Never get to see those eyes or that beautiful smile of yours or hear that beautiful laugh I hear in my dreams. When I got inside and saw you laying there on the floor with that little boy wrapped in your arms and the blood pooling around you, it felt like my world had suddenly stopped and then you opened your eyes and I felt such a rush of relief. I let myself lose control and I am sorry."

"Hotch what are you saying exactly? I don't understand." She said as she looked up at him.

"Why do you think I sent you away Emily?"

"Because you were mad at me for going in to that house by myself." She whispered ashamedly.

"That's not what I meant. When I sent you away after Doyle almost killed you." he said and watched her face for her reaction.

"You sent me away to protect the team and me."

"That was only part of it. I sent you away to protect the team yes, but that wasn't the only reason. I had to protect you, not just because you are a member of this team but because I love you and I had to do everything I could to keep you alive."

"Hotch I know you love me, you love everyone on this team and I know you would have done the same thing if it had been one of them."

"No that's not what I meant. I'm in love with you Emily. I have been for a long time now. I don't expect anything from you; I just wanted you to try and understand what I was feeling today, why I got upset."

He could see the shock on her face and he had expected no less. At least she didn't slap him that was a start. He saw the look in her eyes that he saw before she turned and walked out of the bullpen earlier. It was a look he still could not decipher. Emily caught him unaware as she raised her lips to his, kissing him lightly as she moved her arm from around his waist to wrap it around his neck before applying more pressure to his lips. He opened his mouth allowing her tongue entrance, moaning when he felt her tongue sweep across his. Their tongues danced around each other till they had to pull apart in search of oxygen.

"I love you Aaron. I'm sorry I scared you today but I am ok. I promise. It was through and through, didn't hit anything vital. It hurts some but it isn't as bad as I thought it would be; I guess that could be the pain meds though."

"Emily I meant it when I said I love you. Besides Jack you are the most important person in my life and there is nothing I wouldn't do for you." Hotch said as he pulled her back against him.

"You know this could get complicated Aaron."

"I know but I think you are worth any risk."

"Will you stay with me tonight?" Emily asked, her voice quivering with nerves.

"I'll stay for as long as you need me too, longer if you'll have me."

Emily pulled away from and took his hand in hers and pulled him up the stairs to her bedroom. That night they showed each other how much they love each other in to the early morning hours. Both knowing that the shift in their relationship was a good one; one they had been working toward for a long time. Even if they didn't realize it at the time.