"I like you!"

"That's for me to know and for you to find out."

"Because…maybe I don't just like you anymore….I might just love you."

"You're worth everything."

"Don't you get it? I'm jealous!"

"I never meant to build you up and tear you down."

"We are just friends, okay."

"People just don't understand that he's important to me."

"I love you a little okay?"

"Doesn't anything I say change anything?"

"I'll always be here for you okay? You're important to me."

"I want you to be happy, and she makes you happy, so I'm happy."

"For once will you listen to me?"

"I'm going to be honest with you. I like you. I want you."

"We can't just be normal friends."

"If you don't want me around just say so, if it's too hard for you."

"You can slap me you know."

You're so cute and sexy, Merlin."

"I'd like you no matter what, Arthur."

"I belive in you."

"I…can't hate you. It is too easy. You fucked up. But...I still love you. I'll always love you. I never meant to but I do."

Merlin looked into Arthur's eyes as he stood on the stairs. He bit his lip, he shouldn't, and he knew he shouldn't. They had told each other no more. They were just friends, just normal plain best friends. He picked her; he picked the bitch over him. It's always been like that. It seemed that all this time nothing he had done or said made any difference, yet. Arthur went to move away but Merlin, with a hop down the stairs, landed in 'Arthur's arms, and kissed him. He pulled back and laid his head on Arthur's chest, "sorry," he had whispered, " I'm sorry." He heard Arthur chuckle, "you just got the side of my mouth, it's okay." Merlin pulled back, titled his head up and Arthur press his lips onto Merlin's. Things got heated. Next thing Merlin knew he was on the couch, Arthur above him. Cloths were still on though, sadly. Merlin pulled Arthur in for a kiss again and Arthur chuckled and kissed back. "I should be going to work." Merlin nodded sadly.

Merlin came awake with a start, breaking the memory, and rolled over on his bed and found his phone by his pillow. He unlocked it and sighed as he pulled up Arthur's name on his messages. He closed his eyes and the memories of summer hailed at him like arrows once more. He opened them and shook his head. Summer was almost over, he was going to go back to school and Arthur wasn't going to be there. He had graduated last year and Merlin was going to be alone at school, things would be different. He felt that Arthur was going to forget him once he started collage. The thought made tears spring to his eyes.

He had known Arthur since his freshmen year, Arthur had been a junior then, and he and Merlin had class together but Merlin had been too shy to tell Arthur how he had felt, and thought Arthur would never have liked him back. So, Arthur had met a girl in his art class, Vivian. She was a bitch that none of Arthur's friends cared for. She was mean and always put Arthur down and really wanted nothing of her life or his. Merlin chewed his lip, thought maybe he was being harsh; he didn't even really know her. Still though, she had won, as always, Arthur had broken up with her but she came crying back and he gave her another chance, he was like his mother in that way.

He had told Arthur he liked him when him and his former boyfriend and now best friend, Lancelot, had broken up, Lancelot just wasn't into guys like he thought he was. So he took a chance and told Arthur and low behold the guy liked him back. So they had grown close, they had become friends with benefits, just minis the sex….unless you don't count "texting and phone calls" as sex. Merlin had grown so close to Arthur it had been like they were dating and grown so close to Arthur he had grown from like to love. Arthur was everything to him now, and yet, no one understood. They all thought Arthur was just pulling him along, a game to him, Merlin didn't know if it was true, he didn't think so, but then again, wasn't life just a game to be played?

Merlin looked down at the screen of his phone. It was midnight. Arthur would still be up; lord knows the boy didn't sleep good lately with collage and everything. Merlin had told him he had wanted to talk to him, that he had made a decision that would affect them both, not a bad decision, mind you, but a decision none the less. And since Arthur hasn't texted him, he suppose he would have to do it.

Hey Arthur are you up?

Merlin waited a minute or two and his screen burned blue with Arthur's name. So, he was up, then.

What's up?

Merlin sighed and sat up in bed and looked at the phone as he pulled his blanket up around his shoulders. He looked up to his door that was close and then prayed that they wouldn't end up fighting…again.

Can…we talk?

Yhea.

Can…I call you instead of texting. Plz.

…okay.

Merlin pulled up his speed dial, hesitated a few minutes and clicked on Arthur's name. He put the phone up to his ear and listened to it as it rang and rang. His stomach curled up as the other line picked up and he heard Arthur's voice on the other end.

"What's up, Merlin?" Arthur sounded in an okay moon which was good.

"…I was just," Merlin paused and gathered his courage he had that afternoon," look can I ask you a question and you be honest with me. Like straight up honest, not being afraid to say the truth?"

There was a few seconds of silence on the phone then Arthur said, "Sure."

Merlin licked his lips," What….What are your true feelings for me?"

"I like you, Merlin. I want you."

Merlin closed his eyes, " I know that, I know that, Arthur. But I need to know….need to hear you say…" Merlin trailed off because he couldn't bear to say it lest Arthur say something or something happened.

"I meant what I said that night." Arthur said guessing as to What Merlin was referring to.

Merlin leaned back and curled his fist into a ball," If you meant it then why can't you say it again? No one's going to know. It's not wrong, you know. Unless you can't tell me again because you didn't mean it…or I'm not worth saying it to."

"That's not true. Your worth-"

"Then say it. Say it because you mean it not because I'm telling you to." Merlin snapped into the phone, " Look someone once told me that no one would over love me. All they would love is my body and what I could give. They would say it but never mean it how I want it to mean. Because no one could ever love a sweet guy all they would love is the things I could give them."

Arthur made a sound on the other end, " Merlin….that's not true, that's not true. A lot of people…I love you Merlin. "

Merlin felt a tear roll down his check and he tasted it on his lips. He took a deep breath, " I love you to, I've always loved you. I know I shouldn't, not while you're with her, but I do. Arthur, I don't know right from wrong anymore, I don't. What I do know is that when I'm with you, the things I say or we do, feels right. It's never felt wrong. "

Arthur was quite on the other end, then he said, " I never regret it either. I'll admit it doesn't feel wrong either, but it should."

"I'm afraid Arthur. I am afraid that once I start school again that there's gonna be people that do want me, that are going to try to date me, that are going to show me that I'm worth everything. I don't want that because I'm afraid of that and the fact if things don't work out between you and Vivian in the end I'll either be taken or you would find someone else, guy or girl, in collage and forget all about me. All I want is a chance, just a little chance, to show you I can be good for you too. All my life I've only thought of other's wants and needs and never my own, people assume things and think me a fool half the time. But I started to ask myself what I want, what makes me happy. And that thing is you, Arthur. You make me so happy. "

"You make me happy to Merlin, "Arthur said, "but I can't just break up with Vivian, it's not right."

"You fool! Don't you get it? I'm jealous of her. She can kiss you, say I love you, and be with you whenever she wants. You can hold her, and say I love you and stuff whenever you want. I feel you always make time for her but never for me. Sure we've hung out and stuff but whenever I offer to give you a ride to work and stuff you always say no. it's got to be when you want, when you can. All I want to do is spend time with you can't I want that?"

Arthur didn't answer so Merlin went on, " And…and I want to have sex with you Arthur! I want you to make love to me. I…I've never felt this way towards any guy before 'cept you. I don't know how long I can go without….it's like I have this ache and it won't go away unless I…I can't even help myself anymore. I'm not…we don't have to have SEX but I need your touch or something, please Arthur."

"God, Merlin," Arthur breathed a few seconds later, " I want you to. I do. You don't know how bad I wanted to throw you on your bed the other day and strip off all your cloths."

Merlin blushed at this and moved a little on his bed, his pants were coming a little too tight. He shook his head, "Arthur please, we have to…just…ugh."

"Merlin listen to me, okay. You could have any guy you want your cute and are sexy, well sexy as far as big ears go anyway."

Merlin didn't laugh, "But I want you."

"I know."

"so what do we do? What do I do? It's killing me right now listening to you and taking all my self-control not to ask you to…"

"To what?"

Merlin gritted his teeth," nothing. Please Arthur? Just think about what I said. Please. Just for once. Think about it, don't say I see, or none of your usual crap. This is serious. I am not playing. Okay then tell me in the morning. I don't know what your tell me, but please. I'm not asking you to break up with her, just to think. I don't want to lose a chance with you. I love you. I want you. Good night, lover boy."

Merlin didn't wait for Arthur to say anything before he hung up. He tossed the phone on the bed, turned onto his side, pulled the blanket up over his head and closed his eyes. And prayed something would change, for the greater good. He then slipped off into sleep until morning.

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