AN: This is my first fanfic in a long time,

please review (:

Chapter 1: Fine

"Ugh," Sakura grumbled, she squinted tightly as she felt the noon sun shining on her tired eyes. Her head was pounding.

"Another troublesome day..." she rolled on to her stomach to avoid the blinding light.

'What happened last night?' her mind tried to think, but it hurt too much, instead she focused on how soft this pillow under her head was.

"Tsch," she heard a voice "'troublesome?' looks like I'm starting to rub off on you."

She took in the smell of the soft blankets against her face. The familiar smell. The one she's lived with for the past 4 days.

"Hell yeah, your rubbing off on her, Shikamaru! She even is beginning to act just as lazy!"

Sakura seemed to have risen from the dead. Squinting her eyes and allowing them to adjust to the dreadful light. Her hair was a bird's nest.

"Good morning, Princess Lazy Ass. It's about 11:30 and you're the only one in Konoha still asleep on a Monday."

She looked the direction the voice came from. It was Kiba's sarcastic ass.

she suddenly remembered. 'that's right, we partied' she let out a sigh.

Her eyes flickered around Shikamaru's apartment, empty bottles on the table, ashtrays filled to the brim. Neji was on the couch packing a bowl.

'Hmm Tenten must have gone home.'

Kiba and Shikamaru were playing a pointless game of shogi. He knew Shikamaru was going to win anyways, why did he even bother?

The Nara boy's apartment was plain. Small, but it suited him. The walls were beige, carpet was a darker tan. There was an unused television, dark green couch against one wall and his shogi table in the middle of the room. The bed she was laying in sat in the corner of the room, queen sized and extremely comfortable. Their circle of friends lived for the weekend. Usually winding up at Shikamaru's where there's always beer in the fridge and there's always weed in the stash. They even came up with a nickname for the place: "The party pad, the kick back spot. Always has beer, always has pot." The usual people came. Kiba, Naruto, Neji. Tenten came when Sakura did. Ino didn't come often, though when she did we had to call Hinata to drive her home early. She can't hold her liquor for the life of her. And then there's Gaara. Thank god for Gaara! He came to deal. Nothing too hardcore. Usually just showing up with the best weed. Every so often, he'd come with Ecstasy or Coke.

Sakura got up and sat next to Neji while he prepared to take his hit. She stuck a cigarette in her mouth and waited for the soon-to-be stoned Neji to hand her the lighter

"Sakura, you got fucked up last night." He said before sticking his face in the bong. The water bubbled while he inhaled deeply.

"We ALL got fucked up last night." Her words were slightly muffled as she was lighting her smoke.

"Nah, Sakura, you were fucking plastered. Face down in the toilet."

She took a drag off of her cancer stick. "Ahhh, so it was a good night." she smirked.

Shikamaru moved a piece on the game board, a confused look appeared on the brunettes face. Kiba stared for a moment while he tried to think of his next move. He leaned back on his hands and turned his head to face the pink headed girl. Her eyeliner had been under her eyes. She looked like a zombie.

"You know, Sakura-chan, it's not good to drink like that" Kiba said with a half-assed concerned look. He turned back to his game.

"Especially when your sad.." Shikamaru suggested.

She rolled her eyes, took another drag. "Well, Shika-kun, I'm not sad, so fuck off."

"That's not what the razor you left on the bathroom sink said," Kiba moved a game piece forward.

Sakura looked down at her wrist. Her sleeve had fallen while she held her cigarette to her mouth. She quickly smashed her unfinished cigarette into the ashtray. The pink-haired girl stormed off into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. The boys heard the light click of the lock.

"You fucking ASSHOLE! Why the FUCK would you even mention that?"

Kiba rolled his eyes at the Hyuuga. "It's not like no one knows. Her arm looked mangled last night!"

"Oh my god... Kiba!... how troublesome."

Shikamaru stood up to check on the girl. He heard Kiba and Neji start to argue behind him.

He raised his hand to the door and tapped lightly.

There was no answer.

"Babe, you alright in there? You know Kiba... he just doesn't think." he whispered, at least trying to comfort her from outside the bathroom.

Shikamaru has been a good friend to her for the past few days, letting her stay after her break up and in that time he learned quite a lot about her that he didn't know before. He heard sniffles coming from the other side of the door. He knew she was crying.

"Sakura," another soft knock "Come on, lemme in."

He scratched head and waited a moment. He heard the click, and the door opened slightly. Sakura peeked out at him. Shikamaru let himself in and sat down on the closed toilet, she sat on the edge of the tub. In her hands was the blade Kiba mentioned. She twirled it around in her fingers. She knew it well, but her gaze fixed outside the window at the tree. Shikamaru snuck a glance at her wrist, he noticed a small scab. He was sure there were more unexposed. At least he came in before she did it again.

"Sakura, I-"

"You don't have to say anything." She cut him off. Her eyes, pools of green, flicked towards his for just a moment before looking away in shame.

"We talked about this already," the dark-haired boy said, "he isn't worth... that."

For just a moment, it got very quiet.

"Are you mad?"

"No, no.. not mad. I'm a little sad I guess. a little relieved that you didn't come in here to do it again."

"I'm sorry." she whispered.

"Don't apologize, please." He stood up and took the blade from her. He placed it in one of the drawers by the sink in exchange for a jar of ointment and a gauze wrap.

He knelt next to her and held her arm delicately, rolling up her sleeve. Tears of guilt began to well up in her eyes and she tried to blink them away. Shikamaru laid his eyes on the cuts. The pink and red flesh against her pale skin. Quite a sad sight to see. There were gashes in each direction, some so deep they didn't scab completely. He dabbed a cotton swab across them with the ointment. There were old scars and spaces for ones he knew would appear soon. It hurt him deeply to see his friend in so much heartbreak. So much pain at only 22 years old.