"The Way I Am"

AN: Immediately follows 4x23, 'Always.' Inspired by the lyrics to 'The Way I Am' by Ingrid Michaelson.

'If you were falling, then I would catch you'

They barely make it four steps into his loft before he tugs on their joined hands, reels her back into his arms. She falls against him, willing, pliable, her spine a convex curve against his arm, so tightly wound around her waist and then he presses his hips into hers, his mouth to her lips.

He is the sunlight to her rainy day and she opens herself to him, unfurls like a flower bud as he delves inside, deep, intense, his longing for her tangible with every caress of his tongue, every groan deep in his throat, every whisper of his fingertips against her ribs, her cheekbones, the tender spot under her ear.

"Kate." Her name on his lips both plea and revelation and then the ground disappears from under her feet as he lifts her against him, cradles her to his chest, his arms strong against her back, holding her tightly, protectively, possessively. Her ribs scream in protest but she breathes through it, shifts her forehead into the welcoming arc of his neck. Lets him hold her, feel her close, breathe her in, his nose in her hair, his breath short hot bursts against her scalp.

"Shhh." She paints comforting sounds onto his skin, words, reassurances to soothe his loving, bruised heart. "I'm here, it's okay. You've got me."

He exhales hard, staccato bursts of breath that pound against his ribcage and she trembles with it, traces her fingertips over the broad curve of his shoulder, into the soft hair at his nape.

"I'm here now. I'm yours." She scrapes her nails over the top of his spine and he shivers against her, fits her more firmly against his chest.

"I'm yours," she repeats, soothing but determined as she places her open mouth to his collarbone; goose bumps travel along his skin in syncopation with her words, her warm breath dancing across his skin. She follows the trail with her lips, skirting soft kisses to his skin, up along his neck, his jawline until he moans and she shifts, faces him. His eyes like midnight blue diamonds, scintillating with urgency, overwhelming desire, unfathomable ache.

It has never felt more inevitable than right now, this thing between them, dark and throbbing and undeniable. She answers his plea, her arms laced around his neck, holding his eyes with hers as she offers him the reassurance he is seeking, offers all of herself, all the discombobulated parts that make up her existence, her vulnerable and imperfect, her aching, fervent, desperate self.

"Let me love you."

She undresses him slowly, painstakingly slips free the buttons of his dress shirt, one by one, following the exposed trail of skin with her eyes, her fingertips, the fiery touch of her lips. She sips from his salty skin, explores his shape with tongue and teeth, his breathing a loud, heaving thrust against his ribs, until she has worked the shirt over his shoulders, down his arms. He watches her with darkened eyes, shivers under her touch.

His chest is broad, muscular, safe, and she skims her hands underneath his pectoral muscles, along the grooves of his ribs and around to his sides. Cradles herself tightly against his torso, with her face nudged into his neck, giving herself a moment to drink him in, soak up the reality that she is here, like this, with him. That she is alive.

He spans his hands around her waist, broad bold touches that envelop her and she feels the shift between them, like a burst of electricity released with the next thunderclap that booms in their ears as he lifts her up, turns them around and deposits her on his wide, sinfully cushy bed.

He crawls over her body and she stretches out underneath him, her arms flung wide over her head, arches her back so that the lace of her bra teases against his naked skin. There's a dull harsh throb in her shoulders where they were wrenched in their sockets while she hung off the building but she ignores it, everything else muted by the heat within her, viscous strands of lava that coat her muscles, set her skin on fire.

He hovers above her and her eyes find his, drawn with frantic want, mouth open in silent invocation. She arches again, grazes her breasts against him in unspoken invitation, tunnels her fingers through his hair and tugs him closer by the back of his head.

"Castle," she begs on a sigh, a loving plea that flows easily from her lips as she offers all of herself to him, her body, the entirety of her self. He's already had her for so long.

He sinks down onto her gently, his weight heavy and pleasant and her thighs splay open wide, welcoming him into the cradle of her body. His slow movements belie the intensity of his mouth plundering hers, his tongue deep, seeking, drawing from her like a man in a desert starved for water, desperately taking all she has to give and she grants it eagerly, frantically seeking more with every foray. She has no defenses left, only rubble at her feet where a wall used to be, a barrier they both brought down, together.

Kate raises one leg up high, curls it around his hip and thigh, finds leverage with her other foot against the mattress and then she flips him onto his back, settles herself on his hips where she can feel him, thick and rising against her through two layers of fabric. Her breath catches at the instant friction and the look of stunned surprise on his face gives way to delighted intensity. He lifts his hips against her in a slow, teasing grind, and she presses down against him, meets the welcome pressure while she watches his eyes flutter, a groan rumbling through his chest.

She stills for a moment, wonders whether she's ever felt anything like this before. She's never been shy during sex but now she feels an urgency to bare herself that is new, a churning need low in her abdomen. To give herself over to this man, who has seen her at her best and at her worst, and who has loved her through it. Loves her because of it, in spite of it.

Shrugging off her blouse first, she brings her hands to her back and, holding his eyes captive with hers, she unhooks her bra, lets the garment slide off her shoulders and chest before she throws it off the bed. She feels almost regal, displayed proudly; seductress and surrender both as she arches her back, her hips a slow slide against him as she offers herself.

"Touch me."

His eyes follow the path of his hands as he skates over her hipbones, her sides, her ribs, until her breasts fall into his palms, and he cradles her, his eyelids falling shut for a moment on a suppressed shudder. She wonders how long he has imagined this moment, how often he's dreamed about seeing her, touching her like this.

"Yes," she hisses the words through her teeth, clenches her thighs around his hips in a silent plea and he opens his eyes, watches her closely while he kneads the curves of her flesh, skates his thumbs over the peaks. They crest instantly, hard pebbles against his fingers as he circles, tweaks, teases. Her abdomen roars with blistering need and she helplessly rocks against his hands, his hips, fluid and bare for him.

"Kate," he moans, begs, his voice darkened with passion as he squeezes her nipples between his fingertips. She groans frantically at the sensation, a searing bolt straight to her middle, and she falls forward on to his chest, recklessly seeking his mouth. She slants her lips across his, delves into the heated cavern of his mouth, meeting his tongue in deep, longing strokes while he holds her against him, hips and stomachs and chests aligned, luscious friction, small jolts of current to her skin.

His hips are jumpy underneath her, she can feel his body thrumming with need, his muscles clenched, kept under the tight rein of his control and she knows, understands, how he protects her even now, careful with her still but she doesn't need it now; she won't break and she wants him unleashed, wants him to take her, all that she is.

Dancing her mouth down his neck, dipping her tongue into the hollow of his clavicle, she moves lower, places open-mouthed kisses all over his chest while her fingertips precede her, trailing over his waist, his stomach, dipping underneath the waistband of his pants. He hisses at the swift contact with his skin and she moves faster, filled with urgency as she unzips his pants, pops open the button. She takes a moment to skirt her hand across him, feeling him strain against the fabric, heated and full, before she pulls off the pants, bringing his boxers with, throwing the clothes off the bed.

She's yearning for him, a gaping, aching emptiness opening up within her at the sight of him, so strong that she can barely breathe. She shimmies out of her own jeans, an ungraceful effort as she struggles with the still wet, clinging material, but he raises up on his elbows, watches her with unabashed desire. Her jeans and underwear mingle with his on the floor when she crawls back up his body, slides the wet heat of herself against the length of him.

Castle groans, falls back against the bed with a heady shudder but his eyes are open, taking her in, all of her as she straddles him, gloriously naked. She had feared awkward moments but all she feels now is free, an exhilarating openness to every contact, every touch that makes her ache to spread her legs wide, offer herself to his mouth, exposed and wanton, letting him see and taste while he devours her and the image rushes another burst of wetness through her, pool between her thighs.

As if he knows her thoughts, he places a hand on her hip, tilts her pelvis and dips a finger between her legs.

"God, Kate," he groans, total abandon as his touch finds her so wet; he slides along the slippery length of her, circles the bundle of nerves, swollen and raised and his touch sends fire racing through her veins. She arches into his hand, lets him explore for a moment, understanding the need to touch, to feel all that she couldn't say with words for so long. Then she places her hand on his, pulls it away, shaking her head.

"Not this time," she murmurs with a smile. Her fingers seek, find him, skimming touches as she familiarizes herself with his shape, the feel of him, full and heavy against her palm; watches his face twist with need, his stomach muscles jump and contract.

"I just want you," she sighs, an echo of her promise of earlier tonight, when she had come to his doorstep, when she had finally found her way to him. And then she aligns herself with him, and slowly takes him inside.

She shudders as she receives him, as he fills her, warm and hard until he is deep, so deep and her hips are sliding against his.

"Kate, Kate, Kate," her name a ragged plea on his lips and she blinks open her eyes, finds his wide open, piercing as he watches her, his fingers gripped firmly around her hip bones. His body is taut underneath her, vibrating with urgency but he holds her still; infinite moments pass as she feels her body stretching, fluttering around him, becomes aware of how they fit together, seamless, inevitable.

And then his body twitches with irrepressible need and she moves, gradually at first, rises up high, slides back down, creating friction, such sizzling friction between them; fiery sparks and pressure and the slick perfect glide of their bodies together.

He surges up, desire and abandon propelling his hips against hers, a sharp press that meets just that right spot, spurs her on and then it's fast, urgent as she undulates her hips in rhythm with his, twists and circles, her movements more sloppy as she rises and falls, loses her balance.

Her head falls back and she shivers, needing, craving more pressure while he fills her insides with coiling sensation. Only half aware of what she's doing she slides two fingers between her thighs, presses firmly, and "oh god," she sobs, begs. "Harder."

Castle growls underneath her, a harsh churning sound as he sits up swiftly, shifts her onto his lap. With his large hand splayed wide on her tailbone, he pushes her hips forward, against his pelvis, and she adjusts her legs, laces them around his hips until she is draped over him, cradled within his tight embrace. She can feel his heart hammering in his chest, his breathing choppy.

The angle is off at first and she shifts, shimmies her lower body. He quivers within her, rocks her onto him once more and then she feels like she's going up in flames, keens out a sound that barely sounds like her, aching, filled to the brim with him. He dips his head, wraps his mouth around her breast, sucking her nipple against the roof of his mouth in rhythm with his hips, stroking deep, so deep and there is pressure inside and out, sensation everywhere, waves lapping at her veins, her head swimming.

"Cas…" She mewls, clenches her fingers around his neck, rocking and surging into him and then she is falling, her back arched, bright sparks behind her eyelids, head thrown back, she's falling, falling all over again but his arms are strong around her back and hips, holding her close, safe, tight. Holding her.

Castle.

And she bursts apart, clenches around him, her whole body on fire as he spasms within her, falling with her, catching her.