Hey everyone ~ Sorry for not updating very quickly; I've been so busy lately and work is leaving me so tired and exhausted, it's unbelievable =_= And I got my results on Thursday, and really didn't do as well as I was expecting. So I have decided that my only talent is writing stories *sighs*

Thank you to Geeres, kh07gl, Kiari Walker, DGrayManFanatic, bakaxusagi, Aariah, Crazedyaoifangirl, wolfeclipse25, You Still Love Me, LightMyBulb, Jet Classics, Himeko14X, Death-Sama01, bunnyluvdeath, zoffia, Shippo704, and 3LittleRedBird3 for reviewing/favouriting/subscribing! *heart*

By the way, for those who are curious where the whole 'based from experience' thing comes from, I have the same eating issues that Lavi does; emetophobia (fear of vomit/vomiting) and cibophobia (fear of food/catching illnesses from food). It really isn't nice, not at all =_=

But anyway, on with the story ~ Enjoy!

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Leave me alone, it's nothing serious

I'll do it myself

It's got nothing to do with you

And there's nothing that you could do

Muse - Cave

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What Makes Us Human

The house was awfully quiet when Lavi went back inside, begrudgingly bringing his luggage into his new home. He left his suitcase and bag in the hallway and went into the kitchen again, noticing that all conversation stopped when he did so.

"Where am I puttin' my stuff?" Lavi asked, looking down at the floor instead of meeting the eyes of Neah and Mana. Allen didn't even look up, ignoring him completely.

"You can have the spare room, which is the first room on the right when you enter the house," Mana replied, smiling a little nervously now that Bookman was gone. "It's all set up for you."

Mumbling a thank you as he left the kitchen, Lavi walked to the end of the hallway and entered the last room on the left. It was a reasonably big bedroom, with a single bed in the far right hand corner, a window on the wall to Lavi's right, a small table beside it, a bookshelf opposite the bed with a small television on it, with a wardrobe next to it, and a desk near the door with a computer and printer. The room was still spacious though, and was decorated in the same white and wood-panelled fashion as the rest of the house.

Lavi sighed and put his belongings onto the bed, sinking down on the dark brown sheets and lying back, staring up at the ceiling thoughtfully.

After a while, when he was starting to feel bored, Lavi unpacked his things and put them inside the wardrobe, though it reminded him painfully that he wasn't going home for a while. By the time Lavi finished it was nearly 5 pm, the numbers glowing a bright red on the digital clock on his bedside table.

Just as Lavi sat back down on the bed, fiddling with the hem of his shirt awkwardly, someone knocked on the door.

"Come in..."

The door opened to reveal Allen, now with his hair untied and loose around his shoulders. The teen did not meet Lavi's gaze, instead looking slightly to the side as if he was staring out the window.

"You need to help with dinner," Allen stated bluntly, sounding oddly annoyed and aggravated. "Choices are preparing vegetables or washing up afterwards."

And, with that, Allen left the room, shutting the door behind him a little too loudly for Lavi's liking.

Lavi blinked a few times, frowning. He had no idea what issue Allen had with him, since they had scarcely just met and hadn't even engaged in conversation, and it annoyed him a little. Lavi already didn't want to be there, and would much rather be at home with Bookman.

He didn't need hostility in a house full of strangers.

Sighing and grumbling under his breath, Lavi got up and left the room, shutting the door quietly behind him. He walked into the kitchen and noticed that Allen was getting items of food out of the fridge; peppers, mushrooms, onions, and mince. Lavi stood somewhat awkwardly in the kitchen doorway before stepping forwards.

"What do ya want me to do?" Lavi asked, wincing a little as Allen slammed a jar of pasta sauce onto the kitchen counter. Allen didn't look up, getting a packet of spaghetti out from a cupboard by his head.

"Peel the onions, and chop the peppers and mushrooms up," Allen explained. "Breadboards are beside the fridge, and the knives are kept in a draw by the oven."

Lavi nodded and, somewhat hesitantly, got out a breadboard and sharp knife and began to prep the vegetables for dinner.

"Look," Lavi said, picking up a handful of peppers and dropping it into a large black pot. "I ain't the type of guy to sit there and wonder why people are pissed off with me. Tell me straight what your beef is, will ya?"

"I don't have any problems with you," Allen replied stiffly, stirring the mince that he was cooking in another pan with a wooden spoon. "I just don't see why Neah and Dad have to put up with you, when all you're going to do is cause them trouble."

"Did I ask to be here?" Lavi countered sharply, chopping an onion in half a little too violently. "I was forced to come here by Gramps. I don't wanna be here anymore than you want me to be here."

"Then here's some advice," Allen snapped, slamming the spoon in his hands down on the oven and turning towards Lavi with a vehement glare. "They deal with enough shit. They don't need you making things harder for them."

"I don't want to make things harder for them!" Lavi argued, stabbing his knife into the breadboard and taking a step towards Allen, eyes narrowed. "They seem like nice guys. You think I wanna get them involved in this? Fuck no! So take your own advice asshole, and don't make things harder for me either."

Lavi picked his knife back up again and resumed chopping the vegetables, roughly dropping them into the pot and making sure they were all the same size. Allen said and did nothing for a while then, with a small smile, Allen went back to stirring the mince.

"I didn't mean to snap at you, I'm sorry," Allen murmured after a while. "I was only told about this an hour or two before you got here; I've been away all week."

Lavi didn't reply for a while then, when he had finished with the vegetables, Lavi put the knife and breadboard in the sink and turned towards Allen with a grin.

"It's cool. Guess we just got off on the wrong foot, huh," Lavi replied, leaning against the counter. "Ne Allen, how old are you?"

"14, nearly 15," Allen answered, taking the mince off of the hob to cool it down. "And yourself?"

"I'm 17. You don't look that young, ya know; I thought you were my age."

"I'll take that as a compliment. So, where do you live then?"

And so it carried on. Whilst dinner cooked, with the vegetables and mince being put in one pot with pasta sauce, Allen and Lavi sat down at the table and talked, asking about each other's lives.

Lavi learnt that Allen was adopted, having been abandoned as a young child by his real parents. He lived in an orphanage until he was 7, until Mana came round one snowy Christmas Day and took him in. Neah started living with them when Allen was 12, because Neah had a bad divorce with his wife and needed somewhere to stay.

Mana and Neah were brothers, so Mana was more than happy to help Neah out. But, even when everything was sorted, Neah never moved out, becoming a permanent member of Allen's family.

Lavi also found out that Allen was home-tutored by Mana and was quite an adept pianist, nearing grade 6 in his lessons; Neah had taught him since he first started living with Allen. He also liked cats, and had one called Timcampy; a stripy orange tabby with a fondness for sandwiches. Allen liked a wide range of music, ranging from rock to pop to classical to k-pop, which instantly got the two of them into an excited chat about SHINee and Big Bang.

But, when Allen started to explain why things were so hard at home, dinner was nearly ready and Allen stopped speaking the instant Mana and Neah entered the room.

"I can see the two of you are getting along nicely," Mana said with a smile, getting out bowls and cutlery and placing them on the dinner table.

"We've... put aside our differences," Allen replied, making Lavi hide a quiet chuckle behind his hand.

"Good," Neah muttered, walking into the kitchen and stretching as he sat down at the table. "If you two didn't sort yourselves out, I was gonna shove your heads together and make you."

"Well that sure is a nice way of making people get on..." Lavi said with a nervous smile, making a note of Neah's sadistic side.

Neah simply grinned menacingly in reply, to which Allen light-heartedly kicked him under the table for, telling him off for scaring Lavi on his first day of being with them. While the two of them continued to banter, Mana served up dinner into 3 bowls but stopped before filling a fourth one.

"Lavi, would you like to serve your own up?" Mana asked, holding a bowl out to Lavi with a kind smile. Lavi blinked a few times, surprised.

"Is... is that a good idea?" Lavi stammered, frowning a little in confusion. Mana nodded, forcing the bowl into Lavi's hands and gently pulling him forwards.

"That way you can eat what you're comfortable with, hmm?" Mana said quietly, handing Lavi a ladle for the bolognaise.

Lavi did nothing for a long time, simply standing and staring at the bolognaise with a somewhat apprehensive expression. He was so used to Bookman forcing him to eat normal amounts, regardless of how Lavi felt, so to be given the option to eat as much as he wanted to was odd.

Carefully, making sure not to spill any, Lavi placed two spoonfuls of bolognaise and one handful of spaghetti into his bowl. He didn't feel like he couldn't eat that much, though he was eating far less than the other people at the table.

Lavi sat down beside Allen, noticing that the brunette was giving him a warm smile. Returning said smile as he started to eat, Lavi felt more comfortable eating than he had done in a while. He was unable to finish all of his food, having to leave at least a quarter of it, but Mana simply smiled and emptied the bowl's contents into the bin, placing the bowl in the sink.

"I'll show you around while those two wash up," Allen said, grabbing hold of Lavi's arm and pulling him out of the kitchen just as Mana and Neah started to playfully attack each other with Fairy Liquid.

Allen showed Lavi the rest of the house with a quiet calm voice; opposite the kitchen was the living room, the first two doors on either side were Mana and Neah's rooms, with Mana's on the left hand side and Neah's on the right, and Allen's bedroom was opposite Lavi's. Beyond the living room was a bathroom, complete with a toilet, sink, shower, and large medicine cabinet. Outside, a relatively large garden with lots of flower beds and a vegetable patch seemed to glow in the dying sunlight, the setting sun making everything turn golden.

When Allen had showed Lavi the whole house, the two of them sat outside on the front doorstep, a light breeze making their hair drift in front of their faces, meaning they had to forever keep swiping strands of hair out of their eyes.

"So earlier, you were gonna say why things were hard?" Lavi asked, leaning back against the front door whilst looking at Allen from the corners of his eyes. Allen stiffened a little before he sighed and leant back also, fiddling with the cuffs on his shirt.

"Well," Allen began, voice quiet. "The reason why Dad and Neah have experience with people with eating disorders is because... well, Dad adopted someone else as well as me..."

Lavi perked up at that, sitting up and looking at Allen curiously, silently urging him to continue. Allen did not meet Lavi's gaze, looking down at his lap with a sombre expression.

"Her name was Lenalee," Allen murmured quietly, smiling sadly. "She was a lovely girl, and really pretty too; she had the longest hair I'd ever seen. She took care of me at the orphanage, and I was so happy we got to go home together. Dad adored her too..."

"What happened?" Lavi asked gently, frowning a little.

"She got really sick when we were 9," Allen explained, clenching his fists. "She... she threw up a lot and she never got over it. She got really scared about being sick, and ended up not eating and going to hospital. She... she died three or so years ago..."

Lavi didn't say anything, a weight settling in his stomach. Allen sighed, unclenching his fists and looking up at the sky.

"That's what I meant by causing more trouble. We've already gone through this once, and we failed to help or do anything. I don't think me or Dad can go through something like that again."

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When Allen told me about Lenalee, I didn't quite know what to think or say.

It made me feel sick just thinking about it. While all this has been going on, I haven't actually thrown up or been ill at all, thank God. But that's the point, ain't it?

I haven't been sick yet, but I will do at some point. And I ain't afraid to say that that scares me shitless.

I feel so sorry for the two of them, 'cause I'm gonna be a pain in the arse for them and that Neah guy. I don't wanna remind them of the past, and I don't want them to feel responsible if I fail and stop eating when I finally throw up.

It's fucking awful - I feel duty bound to get better now, otherwise the guilt of hurting these people will tear me apart. They seem nice, especially Allen. I feel like I can trust him, and I'm kinda glad the kid has a backbone. I hate wimpy people, and he kinda reminds me of Yuu in the way he won't take shit from no-one.

But what if I freak out when I'm sick and refuse to eat? I don't wanna remind him of Lenalee and upset him, or worry him that I'll end up in hospital.

... To be honest, I don't think I will be able to eat after throwing up. Which is even worse, 'cause it's kinda inevitable that I'm gonna end up in hospital one day.

I just hope I get better before then... But it's never a good idea to think like that. I tried it before my exams started, and it only made me feel worse because I wasn't better by then. The stress and pressure got to me real bad, and I can feel the same pressure here...

That pressure to try harder...

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That night Lavi went to sleep in his new room, curled up under the chocolate brown sheets as he tried to sleep. He started feeling sick a few hours after he had eaten, and ended up being awake until midnight, hands wrapped tightly around himself to try and ignore the stomach churning nausea in the pit of his stomach.

But, for once, the red head managed to fall asleep and get at least 6 hours sleep; much better than he had been at home. When Lavi woke up at 6 that morning, he blinked in confusion at how well-rested he felt. In a way it felt lovely, to actually feel like he had slept enough and be able to go through the day without wanting to sleep. But, on the other hand, Lavi was unused to getting so much sleep. So, when he got up and padded into the kitchen, yawning sleepily, he felt lethargic and exhausted despite all the sleep he got.

If he were to feel better when he woke up, he was going to need more sleep on a continuous basis.

The flagstones of the kitchen floor were freezing cold, and Lavi wished he had put some socks on before entering the room barefoot. But, because he was too lazy to go back to his room for socks, Lavi chose to get himself a glass of milk, eventually finding a glass amongst all the cupboards in the room. The milk was pleasantly cold and woke Lavi up a little as he sat at the dining room table, gazing around the brightening room thoughtfully.

It was strange, the feelings he felt inside of him. For a long time Lavi had only really felt hopelessness and a fading faith in himself, but now he actually felt some dim determination to get better. He wanted to try, and not just because he felt guilty about being a reminder of someone passed.

He wanted to try because he was tired of being a failure.

To Bookman it must have seemed like he didn't try, opting to eat virtually nothing so he felt better than if he ate properly, which Bookman still forced him to do, making him feel unbearably sick before sleeping.

To Lavi's friends, it must have seemed less serious than it was, at least to everyone but Kanda. But, even then, Kanda showed no outward signs of worry, which didn't help Lavi to feel like all the pain and effort was worth it.

But now, because Lavi knew Allen and his family actually seemed to care and would try to help, he wanted to try for them. He didn't want to disappoint them, and possibly upset them if he fell ill and ended up not eating. Lavi wanted to get better so that they could move on from their own suffering, because surely helping Lavi get better would be closure for them over Lenalee.

So, as Lavi sat there and finished his milk, he smiled into his glass and decided, then and there, that he was going to stop opting for the easier options. He would try harder, even if it was difficult and would make him want to give up.

"You're up early."

Suddenly standing in the doorway of the kitchen, clothed in a thick black dressing gown, was Neah, giving him a friendly smile. Lavi returned said smile, moving aside slightly so Neah could get to the counter behind him. The smell of tea bags and coffee felt like home to Lavi, since Bookman was addicted to both drinks, and it made Lavi feel a little homesick as he sat and held his empty glass in his hands, staring down at the table.

Neah soon made himself a cup of tea, sitting down next to Lavi and leaning back in his chair, yawning as he did so.

"Well, how're you settling in then?" Neah asked, taking a sip from his cup despite how hot his drink was. "Still wishing you were back home?"

"I like it here; I just wish I'd been given a choice," Lavi replied with an awkward smile. "Kinda hate being forced into things."

"I understand, don't worry. Allen was so pissed off when he heard you were coming," Neah stated, chuckling. "Seems he's getting used to the idea of you being here though."

"He's a nice kid," Lavi said with a smile, leaning back in his chair and stretching. "I'm sure we'll get on fine soon enough."

"I'm sure you will," Neah replied, sounding amused.

The two of them sat in silence for a while, the room slowly brightening as the sun rose. After a few minutes or so Lavi got up, murmuring that he was going to get dressed. Neah nodded, and Lavi missed the curious narrowed-eyed look Neah gave him as he left the room.

Upon entering his room Lavi opened his wardrobe, taking out a plain black shirt and red skinny jeans, as well as a warm pair of socks. Getting dressed whilst lying on the bed behind him, struggling to put his skinnies on despite his loss in weight, Lavi was eventually ready, fluffing his hair up a little and rubbing sleep out of his eyes as he opened the curtains and made his bed.

Soon enough the room was tidy, and Lavi wondered briefly why he was being so neat and tidy when his room back home was filthily messy. Shrugging, and putting it down to being in someone else's house, Lavi left the room and headed into the living room.

There he found Allen and Mana watching the morning news, Allen dressed in pyjamas and Mana dressed in a white shirt and smart suit trousers. They both looked up and gave Lavi a smile when he entered the room, though Mana seemed a little dubious about Lavi's choice of clothing.

Sitting down beside Allen, bringing his legs up and resting his feet on the edge of the couch, Lavi watched the news with a somewhat bored expression, though he had to go through the same thing back home with Bookman so he was used to it.

Eventually, when the news was just about finishing, a phone started to ring from the hallway somewhere, and Lavi turned his head to see Neah leave the kitchen to answer it. After a few minutes Neah entered the room, grinning widely and looking as if he wanted to start jumping for joy.

"What is it, Neah?" Allen asked curiously. "Who was on the phone?"

"It was Bak; he said we've got the cottage!" Neah replied, grinning even more widely as he spoke. "We can finally go on holiday!"

Allen cheered and Mana gave a pleased smile, the both of them looking very happy about Neah's news. Lavi sat somewhat awkwardly at the end of the couch, feeling left out and cut off from the other three. He wasn't part of their family, and a dim burning feeling of jealousy sat in the pit of Lavi's stomach.

He had never really had a family, and Bookman wasn't the sort to go out on holidays and actually act like he was even related to Lavi in the slightest.

When Mana and Neah started talking about preparations and when they could leave, Allen turned back towards Lavi and gave him an apologetic smile.

"Sorry Lavi," he began. "We've been waiting for our friend Bak Chan to lend us this cottage for ages, so..."

"It's fine," Lavi replied, giving Allen a small smile that felt fake, despite the sincerity that he felt. "You don't have to apologise."

Allen was silent for a while, looking back at the TV with mixed emotions. Then Allen smiled and turned towards Mana and Neah.

"Hey, can we bring Lavi?"

Mana and Neah fell silent, and Lavi looked at Allen somewhat incredulously. Then Mana nodded, smiling warmly.

"Of course we can," Mana answered. "If you want to of course, Lavi."

"But... are you sure?" Lavi asked, sounding surprised. "You barely know me. I can go back home for a bit while you go away..."

"C'mon, it'll be a good chance to get to know you," Neah said with a grin. "And the other way around, of course. Plus the Welsh air will be good for you."

"Welsh?" Lavi echoed, frowning in confusion. Allen laughed at his expression.

"The cottage is in the north west of Wales," Allen explained, sounding amused. "It's near the Isle of Anglesey."

Lavi just nodded, having no idea where that was; History he was good at, but Geography was definitely not his forte.

"So... do you want to come with us?" Allen asked, giving Lavi a warm smile, elbowing him lightly. "It'll be fun!"

Lavi found himself unable to say no to the bright silver eyes that met his own, and he somewhat reluctantly and awkwardly agreed to go on holiday with three semi-strangers that he'd only met the day before.

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Ya know, a part of me was so happy they asked me to come with them.

I've never had a proper family, even when I was little. In fact, I don't remember going on a single family holiday in my entire life. Ain't that cheery.

So it was nice that they want me to come, 'cause now I'll be able to at least feel like I belong somewhere for a little while. The three of them honestly seem like nice people, and with some time I think I may really start to like them.

God damn Allen and his puppy dog eyes though.

But, at the same time, I'm unsure about this. I know going somewhere completely different and having some light-hearted holiday fun will probably help. But I can't shake off this pressure to get better, and I don't wanna ruin their holiday if I feel sick.

They barely know me, yet they're being so nice to me. I don't really know how to handle that.

But ya know, they're giving me a free holiday so I can't really complain.

I can't get my head around Allen though. He seems so nice, yet he argued with me like Yuu on a PMS day. He seems kinda naïve at times, but then he surprises me by acting much older than his age. He's such a weird guy!

Doesn't help I have a thing for brunettes either. Also doesn't help that I like people who are like Allen, all fiery and passionate one minute then mellow the next.

Ah well, I can't really indulge in such thoughts when I only met him yesterday. That's just a little bit weird. Just a little bit...

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And that's the end of chapter 2 ~ I'll try and get the next one out soon, but things are really hectic right now - I have to choose what subjects I'm retaking, and if I'm gonna drop any of my subjects. And I have until Monday to choose =_= So yeah, really stressed! Doesn't help my eating thing's getting pretty bad again... *coughs* Never mind :L

Much love,

xrowa-chanx