You Won't See Me

A/N: Hey guys! It's me and I'm back with a new Eclare fic! It's an AU and I just, have no clue what I'm doing with this one. Pfft—hopefully it won't be bad and whatever and just, go with me. Anyways, let's hope everything comes out okay.

A/N: On another note, this is my first time writing a story in first person in a long time so bear with me. I know that's kinda funny to say after my first Eclare story being a first person one. But I wrote that a long time ago and now I'm more into the third person. But rambling aside, as of now the point of view will always be Clare's, but I might change it if I get a random inspiration to write in a different point of view.

SUMMARY: Clare had the perfect life. She was happy the way it was. But everything changed with her mother and father got divorced. Throw in a new husband and a stepbrother; add a little new town and you get Clare's new hectic life. Add in a boy and the mixture gets even crazier. Can our hero withstand the pressure, or is everything going to crumble like a Crum cake? Join us and find out! AU.

I guess it all started with two words, this chapter of my life. Those unfortunate words being the two I dreaded most for the longest time.

'I do.'

I do can stand for a lot of things. Mostly because a person can say I do in many different situations, kind of like going to Yale. Of course I want to go to Yale, I really do.

I and do are two words. The word I represents a person and it's a possessive word, it stands for their thoughts, their likes, their anything depending on the sentence. Do is a word a verb that stands for someone or something about to perform a task.

When you say the words dressed in a white gown in a church with a man—or woman depending on your sexuality because I could honestly care less, in a black tux it normally means you're about to spend the rest of your life with said person.

I use the term 'rest of your life' loosely.

Okay, so by now you may think I'm either cynical or depressed or something, but that is not true. I promise, just a bit bitter, but that can't always be helped.

My name is Clare Edwards; I just turned 16 back in March. I come from a very religious Christian background, but not a stuck up one really, in which I learned many moral rules. Sex before marriage is never right. Violence is never the way; you should just turn the other cheek.

One thing my mother always taught me that I strongly believed in was that divorce was always frowned upon. Us church going Edwards spent every Sunday at church, good clothes on, singing and praying.

I guess all our hard work was put to waste that second my mother and father sat me down and told me they were getting their divorce. I cried about it for days, I rationalized it being my fault; I called my sister in Kenya. Darcy was always the lucky, prettier one out of the two of us. She was outgoing, fun, easygoing and easy to get along with. When she told us she was going to Africa to help the people out there, we were all shocked and happy all the same.

She was lucky she didn't have to be here going through this. She was building houses in Kenya laughing away her troubles with good deeds. But me, I was stuck here in the aftershock of the news, blaming myself. But could you really blame me? Everything I was taught was crumbling to pieces.

But hearing those two words come out of my mother's mouth, it was like I was getting hit by a car going sixty miles per hour.

My now stepdad, Glen, wasn't really that bad. He was nice, he treated me kindly and he really loved my mother. My now stepbrother Jake was a good guy too. My mother really liked him, he was kind to me and I guess I would consider him a friend if I wasn't so bitter at the world.

But is it so bad of me to think the only time I would be standing at an altar like I was only a few hours ago would either be at a friend's wedding, or my own?

Then again I didn't really believe that either. I didn't have friends; I had a book and a cup of tea. Now, once again don't get me wrong, I'm not a loner or antisocial, okay maybe a little bit of the latter. I had acquaintances, I just never found people I would want to spend my time without side of my family. They were all just, not to sound snotty, but none of them could really get on the same academic level.

I was the girl that talked about Sylvia Plath, Edger Alan Poe and a bunch of other depressed writers that most likely committed suicide. I was the girl with a book that was probably a dinosaur with language only people from the 1900s could understand, in a thrift store dress. Everybody in the small town I lived in was either a sports head, or just not interested in the same things as I was, and it never bothered me. I wasn't lonely.

But standing here in a bridesmaids dress watching as my mother and now stepfather said their toasts, I never felt lonelier in my life. It wasn't even this bad when my mother and father got divorced, because I knew they always loved me.

Staring at everyone's smiling face with a pseud smile plastered on my face; it felt like everything was real for the first time. My parents were never getting back together. Every value my mother had taught me was slowly sliding away and I felt like I was breaking.

"Clare. Sweetie, are you awake?" My mom cooed, I stirred and looked at her from my seat in Jake's pickup. Sighing with my eyes half lidded from drowsiness, I smiled and nodded at her.

"Yeah." I said sleepily as I opened the door of the pickup and slowly slid myself out. Jake and Glen had already begun moving the boxes inside our new house.

With the new marriage came the new surroundings, my mother thought it'd be better if we moved into a bigger house in the city where Glen's construction company was. I didn't complain, as much as I hated all the new changes I wanted my mother to be happy.

Letting out a hearty tired sigh, I smiled at my mom, grabbed some boxes of mine out of Jake's pickup and began taking them inside with the others. We assigned the rooms from the blue prints of the house before we moved. I got offered the second biggest room out of the four rooms in the new house, but I declined. Giving me that space was my mother's way of saying, "Hey sport. I'm sorry I poured all this on you, but I'm sure you'll be as happy as me sooner or later", but I wasn't heartless. I wanted her to be happy.

Taking the smallest room was my own way of comfort. If it was smaller it was more personal. Soon we trekked all the boxes in, joking and laughing the three members of the Martins family happily moved in. Me, on the other hand just watched from the sidelines. I didn't want to ruin everything, because it was a beautiful picture. I just didn't feel like I belonged in it.

"Clare, do you need help unpacking?" My mother asked me as she walked into my room. I smiled at her and shook my head.

"No mom, I think I've got it. Jake and Glen set up my furniture already so I just need to put things away. You and Glen have a lot of work to do getting the rest of the house ready anyways, so don't worry about me." I smiled at my mother as she shook her head in understanding. I think this was another way of her giving me space and letting everything sink in. I was a lot more distant to her, but that was normal wasn't it? My parent's divorce, my mother's remarriage; I got no say in the matter so it wasn't like my feelings were accounted for. It was the least she could do.

Putting the last book into my bookcase, and hanging my last dress, I stepped to the door of my room and looked inside. Everything was how I wanted it and as close as it would be to perfect. I was content enough here with my mother and Glen and Jake. None of them were bad people; I was just the unneeded variable in the equation that was the Martins-Edwards family.

Stepping out of my room with empty boxes I walked up to my mom who was unpacking things for the living room. Walking up to her I kissed her on the cheek.

"You know I love you, right?" I asked her lightly, she looked at me half shocked and half happy.

"I know that, Clare. I love you too." She said softly as she wrapped one arm around me and gave me a half hug. "Now, if only these boxes could love me and unpack themselves."

"I think we'd all be happy about that one, Helen." Glen laughed as he walked into the living room with more boxes.

"I think there's enough cardboard here to make the same number of houses Darcy has already made in Kenya." I said huffing a bit. My mother looked at me and Glen let out a laugh.

"Imagine." He said ruffling my hair a bit, rolling my eyes at the childish act I shook my head.

"I'm done with my room; do you want some help around here?" I asked my mother who just shook her head.

"No, why don't you and Jake go explore the neighborhood. I saw a nice looking book shop on the way I'm sure you'd love." My mother said, before I could deny the request Jake half ran into the room.

"Yes! Let's go, Clare." Jake said, smiling and letting out a small laugh I let him pull me to the door, car keys in hand. Stopping I looked back into the house from the door. Tilting my head I let out another sigh.

I could get used to it here, it didn't seem that bad.

"You can let out your happiness in my car, let's go." Jake said from outside impatiently.

"I am not letting out my happiness. Sighing is not losing happiness. I am happy." And for the first time in a long time, I wasn't lying.

A/N: So that's all for now folks! If you haven't noticed yet, the title of the story and chapter are both Beatles songs! That and: I do not own Degrassi or The Beatles' songs. I hope you enjoyed, drop a reply below if you got time, comments, questions or suggestions!

I would also like to thank my Beta-in-training Sidney for looking over the chapter!