End's Beginning – Chapter 32

Her left hand on the railing, the plastic bag containing her dinner of Chinese food in her right, Penny just stared up at the mountain of green-carpeted stairs she had to climb. Not often, but on nights like tonight, when she was dispirited and bone weary, the trek to the fourth floor felt as challenging as any climb to the top of Everest. Tightening her grip on the metal bar, Penny started her upward flight, wearily pulling herself forward.

"Leonard, this is God's honest truth. When you are all well and healed, I'm going to kill you for blowing up the elevator," she hissed between gritted teeth.

Thatwas quite the revelation that first night of waiting outside the Operating Room when the guys told the girls about Leonard's rocket fuel mishap and him being the one responsible for the broken elevator.

But, she had to admit that being forced to use the stairs did have a bit of a bonus. Not only did it help to keep her legs and ass in shape but the landlord also gave her a discount on her rent due to the inconvenience.

But still. I wish those calculations were correct.

Penny turned the corner at the first landing, another flight, more steps as the green-carpeted 'mountain' loomed before her. She continued up the stairs.

This has been quite the day.

Her 'Plan A that used to be Plan D' crashed and burned, she screamed at three different customers and was basically suspended from work for a week, and Leonard's eyes were a squishy, stomach turning mess that only served as a vivid reminder how far he still had to go.

But, on the positive side, she did get the modeling job. And on the negative side, she did get the modeling job.

Oh God!

It was just that the idea of the nudity in an ad for apocalyptic jewelry threw her a bit. Although she 'got it', fully understanding Lind's artistic vision, she wasn't expecting that. It wouldn't be so bad but for the knowledge that she had been a willing and hopeful but naïve participant with nudity before.

And Serial Apeist was still out there, hiding in the darkness somewhere.

Hopefully, that pile of warm, steaming, stinking crap was somewhere buried deep in the depths of the Internet never to be seen again.

I can only hope.

Another flight, Penny gloomily took the steps one at a time. "I just need to get rid of those demons and wrap my head around this a little more," she said, passing the little decorative table and plant outside of Mrs. Gunderson's door.

The sight of the little green plant always made her smile because, when going up, it marked the final flight. She had climbed the 'mountain' and was close to the top, where the comfort of her home and the warmth of her friends waited for her.

And it was at the top of the 'mountain' where the air was clearest and you had the best view.

Rising to the landing, Penny watched as a red-faced Sheldon, looking very unhappy and frustrated, hurriedly exited from 4A, quickly closing the door behind him. She knew him well enough to tell that something was really bothering him.

"Penny! This is a happy accident," Sheldon said with false cheer as he saw his neighbor climb to the landing. "I was just coming over to knock on your door."

Penny sighed heavily. She was in no mood to deal with Sheldon's nuttiness tonight. "What is it, Sheldon?"

"Penny, I was just wondering, did you get Amy's message that we would all be dining, forgive me for using these words," Sheldon said as he made air quotes, "'pot luck style' at my apartment tonight?"

"Yep. See," Penny said as she held up the plastic bag, "I felt like having Chinese food tonight and I brought a extra to ..."

"Good, good," Sheldon said quickly, cutting her off, giving Penny the impression that he could care less about her food contribution. "But what I really want to know is, in your laughable and lackluster acting career, you must have worn costumes. By any chance, do you have a Ringmaster's costume? I'm looking for a gaudy red topcoat with tails and gold trim and maybe a tall top hat? Possibly a whip for dramatic effect," Sheldon made a limp gesture with his wrist, imitating a slashing gesture.

"What?! No I don't! What in Earth are you talking about," Penny snapped back, her own exasperation now nearing Sheldon's craziness.

"Because it's a circus in there," Sheldon shrieked as he pointed to the closed door of 4A behind him, "and I just wanted to emphasize the point. And it's not the good kind of Barnum and Bailey circus with performing animals but the weird kind with the people flying down at you from the ceiling wrapped in colored sashes."

Penny was in no mood. "Just get out of my way," she said as she tried to push past Sheldon.

"Penny! Wait! This is important," Sheldon pleaded. "Our Saturday dinner is always undesignated to allow for some whimsy in our meal schedule. But it was always a singular cuisine. But now," Sheldon said as he waved his hand at the door, "it is a veritable hoi polloi of conflicting dishes that is the direct result of an unconsidered take-out meal miscellany. It's the annual East Texas Prayer Fest and Bar-B-Que Feast all over again … but without the delicious ambrosia salad."

Penny stared at Sheldon. "You seriously are a crazy man," she said as she started towards 4A.

"Penny. There is baba ghanoush in my home," Sheldon added with an equal mix of horror and disgust in his voice.

"Crazy man," Penny yelled behind her as she opened the door to 4A.

Howard watched as Penny entered the room, followed by a grim looking Sheldon. "Penny, has Sheldon told you about our 'Cirque du Soleil anarchy meal'?"

"Sadly, yes," Penny said as she spied the lone clear spot on the coffee table among the heaps of various take-out food cartons piled there and placed her plastic bag containing the Chinese food in the tight little spot.

"He's been going on about it non-stop for forty minutes now. If this barbequed chicken wasn't so delicious, I swear I would have thrown it right at his head," Howard said as he attacked a chicken leg, barbeque sauce smeared on his fingers and face.

From his place on the floor, Raj looked up at Sheldon as he ate his Korean barbequed ribs. "I told you Penny didn't have a Ringmaster's costume."

Sheldon loudly 'harrrumphed' as he took his spot on the sofa beside Amy, who carefully balanced a plate of Mexican food on her lap.

"Who dared to bring the baba ghanoush?"

"Me," Bernadette offered happily. "It's absolutely delicious," she said as she swirled a piece of grilled flatbread through the eggplant mixture. "Here! Try some," she squealed, offering the now heaping bread to Penny.

Taking her place in the wooden library chair, she noticed that Leonard's light saber was lit and in its usual spot, his chair. She then waved Bernadette's offer away. Between the red barbeque sauce on Howard's chicken and the paste of Bernadette's baba ghanoush, it reminded her of Leonard's pulpy eyes. Her stomach turned in flip-flops. "No … no thank you, sweetie. My stomach's a little … off. I brought some shrimp lo mein and won-ton soup but I think I'm just going to sip on some of the broth."

"See!" Sheldon suddenly yelled triumphantly, "Penny's stomach is reeling too from this chaos of meals and the nasal assault of the conflicting aromas from this wayward smorgasbord and missing ambrosia salad."

"No, Sheldon. Let's get this straight. My queasy stomach has nothing to do with your world food-fare craziness."

Howard wiped his face with a wet nap. "Sheldon. You eat in our work cafeteria everyday and in restaurants all the time. You've never once complained about this 'nasal assault' or that you need to be in a place that only serves, as you say, 'a singular cuisine'."

With his lips pursed, Sheldon looked hard at Howard for several seconds. "I don't want to talk about it anymore," he said eventually, as he pulled back the cardboard lid from his tin foil container that held his spaghetti and meatballs.

"And the good news is that when you are done with your spaghetti, that tin foil container will make a sensational hat that you can wear."

Sheldon glared at the engineer while Raj and Bernadette guffawed with laughter.

Smiling, Penny agreed with Howard. "He's right you know. That will make a good hat for you, Sheldon."

Desperately wanting to change the focus of the conversation so it wasn't directed so unkindly at her boyfriend, Amy quickly redirected the discussion.

"So, Penny. We were having a funny discussion before you came in. It seems that Howard, Raj, and Sheldon all woke up at simultaneously at 3AM with a relative sense of unease."

"Unease? There was a complete and total disruption in The Force, OK," Howard added with awe in his voice. "this was way more than unease."

Raj nodded in agreement. "I know! I felt like a black hole was about to swallow the Earth in its entirety."

"Oh my God! Me too," Penny laughed in surprise. "I woke up at 3AM! I don't know … it was like a sense of …," Penny hesitated, searching for the right word, "dread."

Sheldon looked up from his spaghetti. "To be fair, I didn't feel unease. It was more disquiet."

Stunned, Bernadette looked from one to the other at her friends. "What is going on with the four of you?"

Still smiling in surprise, Penny just shrugged.

"Well we are approximately thirty-five miles from the San Andreas Fault. I suspect it was related to some sort of tremor activity," Amy offered reasonably.

"Probably," Raj mumbled, rib in his mouth.

"I guess. That makes sense," Penny added.

"So, Bestie, your stomach's upset and you look a little pale. What's up?"

Plopping her pocketbook on the floor beside her, Penny stretched out her long legs. "I don't know," she said, sighing heavily. "It's just been one really weird day. Work was really bad, a lot of crappy stuff happened there today," she said with a tone of finality, hoping that her friends could tell she didn't want to talk or be questioned about it. "Then I was with Leonard and the doctor visited and he removed the bandages on his eyes …"

Howard immediately paled and shot his arm up and extended his hand towards Penny as if trying to block her words. "Say nothing! Absolutely nothing! I don't wanna know! Weak stomach here …"

"It's the reason he dropped out of medical school," Raj offered gently.

"I wasn't gonna," Penny shot back quickly and harshly, not wanting to relive the stomach turning experience herself, let alone recreate the visual for others. "And there's something else …," she added biting her lower lip.

Amy immediately picked up on Penny's discomfort. Putting her fork and knife on her plate of chicken mole, she removed the dish from her lap and placed it on the over-crowded coffee table. "Spill, Bestie. What is it?"

"I got the modeling job," Penny said with resignation.

Cheers and a series of congratulations and well wishes erupted from her friends all gathered around the glass coffee table just as Howard and Raj leapt up and started gyrating.

"I'm too sexy for my shirt … too sexy for my shirt … so sexy it hurts … I'm a model, you know what I mean … and I do my little turn on the catwalk … I shake my little tush on the catwalk … ," the duo belted out in unison along with total synchronization of their dance moves. Howard waving his barbequed chicken leg above his head as he shook his little tush while Raj clutched his Korean rib added to the visual.

Sheldon watched in horror as his friends burst into some spontaneous unknown song while dancing and doing exaggerated model poses in his living room. The calamity ended with a total injustice when, due to his surprise, Sheldon's delicious meatball fell off his fork and hit the floor with a soft plop.

"What is happening," Sheldon screamed in anger and bewilderment at the dancers causing them to halt their dancing and singing mid 'Vogue'.

"It's a song from the 1990s. I'm too Sexy," Howard clarified for unenlightened friend. "It's about models. And Penny got a modeling job," he added for extra edification due to the continued perplexed and irritated look across Sheldon's face.

"Yes. It's a classic dance-pop song that is sung from the narcissistic point of view from a male model," Raj added. "It expresses his over-confidence that his level of sexiness makes him far too sexy for numerous things, his hat, his car, his cat, and his shirt. Which I must say, is absolutely true," the astrophysicist said with a lascivious smile.

"Oh I don't care," Sheldon hissed as he speared the fallen meatball with his fork and stood to dispose of his fallen treasure in the kitchen trash.

"TMI, Raj," Penny said, laughing from her chair.

"Metrosexual my ass," Bernadette said softly from her spot on the sofa beside Amy.

Penny pointed at the two men and wagged her finger between them. "But what I wanna know is, how long have you two been dancing together like that? It was way too choreographed to be spontaneous."

Amy agreed. "Your moves were in total sync with one another."

Both Howard and Raj visibly paled as they both sank down, taking their respective pre-dance places: Howard on the foot locker beside Bernadette, Raj at the side of the coffee table nearest to Howard's feet while Sheldon, with a wetted napkin in hand, started to remove the tomato sauce splattered on the rug.

"No, no … no dancing … it was spontaneous … a total mystery as to the unified choreography," Raj said softly and unconvincingly as he stared down at his Korean ribs.

"Yeah, riiiiight," Penny laughed.

"So, Penny," Howard said a little too loudly and with too much cheer as he desperately wanted to deflect the conversation, "the modeling job! Tell us about it!"

"Penny! This is wonderful! It may be the turning point in your career!"

Penny looked at Bernadette and nodded in agreement. "I know! Right? I'm so excited! Lind is planning a big holiday campaign! The photography session starts Monday."

"But …," the ever perceptive Amy interrupted, " … something's bothering you."

Penny sighed heavily. "All right. A few things are bothering me. First, Leonard is having his eye surgery that day and I wanted to be there with him. But, with so much happening so quickly, there are too many people in play, that I just can't bail on them and just tell them to make it for another day."

"I know you want to be there for Leonard but we'll be there for him," Amy said, indicating herself and Sheldon. "We can be there when he wakes up," she said softly, "so he won't be alone."

"As a matter of fact, I plan on being there," Sheldon added.

Penny smiled, relieved. "Good! Good! I'm glad to hear that! It makes me feel a little better. And secondly … be honest with me. Completely honest."

A chorus of 'sure', 'absolutely' and 'always' came from all of her friends gathered around the table.

"Apocalyptic Jewelry at Christmas time. I don't know. Does that sound kind of … stupid … to you?"

"No! Jewelry's jewelry! Everybody loves jewelry," Bernadette offered happily. "It doesn't matter what it is or the time of year."

"Years ago, maybe," Amy added, "but now at the holidays, they also heavily promote video games, movies, and toys that have an apocalyptic theme. The juxtaposition of the two just because it's Christmas doesn't seem to affect the sales. I suspect that Apocalyptic Jewelry may fall under the same umbrella."

Penny exhaled happily. "Good! Because I've been thinking about it and, I don't know. I just sounded kinda … stupid."

"Naw … I think you're good," Howard said between bites of his chicken.

Raj nodded in agreement. "Has the jeweler given you any idea of what the ad might be like?"

"Well, I play a hunter getting ready for the hunt and each step of preparing and hunting will feature a different piece of jewelry. And … don't get all skeevy Howard …"

At this, Howard looked affronted and glanced around the room open-mouthed wondering why he should be singled out.

" … but Lind says there will be some provocative photos and some with some nudity."

Howard's, Raj's, and Amy's throat went dry. Howard, nearly choking, had a hard time swallowing the chicken.

It was Amy who asked. "What kind of nudity?"

"Lind mentioned in one she wants me showering. I can't imagine it would be anything more than we see in a typical bra and panty ad … I hope," Penny added with uncertainty in her voice. "I mean … it's Christmas. It has to be tastefully done, right?"

Amy nodded at her friend. "Yeah. I would think so."

"Showering and nudity. Well, Penny, to your credit, you have done this before. I can't imagine that it could be any worse than your tepid work in that dreadful Serial Apeist," Sheldon said indifferently as he twirled his spaghetti around the tines of his fork.

"Wait! What?!" Penny screamed. "You saw that?!"

Sheldon swung his fork laden with twirled spaghetti towards Howard and pointed it at the engineer. "Howard found it on the Internet the day we met you. It was literally the moment you walked out the of door."

Penny screamed. "What the hell? How could you do that?! I brought you guys dinner that night!"

"Sheldon! How could you?! The 'Bro Code' remember," Howard screamed to Sheldon.

"Howard! Oh my, God!" Bernadette yelled in disgust to her boyfriend. "I can't believe you would do that!"

"Raj! It was Raj's idea," Howard said as he pointed his chicken leg at his friend. "He … made me … do it."

"Hey!" Raj yelled in injured defense.

"Bernadette! Believe me, Howard would so do that," Penny yelled across the coffee table to her friend.

"Penny," Amy yelled over the din, "I can't believe that you were naked in a movie!"

"I was taking a shower, Amy, so it made perfect sense," Penny defended angrily.

"Yes! She had to clean up after she had the big pillow fight with her sorority sisters," Raj said smiling, "before she was axed to death in the shower by the genetically altered ape."

"Leonard! Oh my, God! Did Leonard see the movie?!"

Sheldon nodded his head to Penny. "We all did. And I'm so very thankful we saw it for just a small fee on the Internet. No one should have to pay to see that abysmal movie. The acting was wooden, so much so that it should have been listed as a fire-hazard, the plot was cringe-inducing, an incomprehensible and undercooked mix of science and hackneyed government conspiracies, the dialogue was vapid, and this incoherent tale and incompetent execution was all wrapped up with disconnected tangents and continuity errors."

Raj laughed. "The scientist kept saying, before his creation turned on him and hacked him to death, that his genetically modified ape was 'crap-tastic'!"

"My creation! My creation! How can you turn on me?! I am your father! You are my son! And you are crap-tastic," Howard said tearfully as he acted out the unfortunate scientist's dying scene, coughing while letting the barbeque sauce drizzle from his mouth, over his chin, in an imitation of blood.

"You nailed it, dude! You nailed it! That was absolutely crap-tastic," Raj said, screaming in laughter, rolling back on to the floor.

Sheldon was now laughing too. "It's incredible! Brilliant re-enactment! Kudos, Howard!"

"Oh. My. God," Penny moaned as she bent forward, holding her head in her hands.

"Well, you chose to act in it. No one forced you to do a topless scene in the shower," Sheldon added, fully captioning the recriminating voice that was currently screaming inside of Penny's head.

"Hey! A little sensitivity here guys," Bernadette yelled, admonishing the group. "Penny took a chance, taking a leap for her dream and … it fell a little short. It's not like any of you have never done anything stupid."

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about, Penny. Serial Apeist has a life of it's own on the Internet and it falls into the cult-worthy 'So Bad it's Good' category," Howard offered, attempting to comfort.

"Oh God," Penny moaned into her hands.

"Speak for yourself," Sheldon interrupted, speaking to Bernadette. "Sheldon Lee Cooper has never had a stupid idea. In fact, those words don't belong together in the same sentence, along the same lines as 'Visit Philadelphia'."

Raj snorted loudly. "Riiiight. Sheldon Lee Cooper never had a stupid idea. Two words: Grease Police. The fiber optic sensor that's placed down your kitchen sink and will notify you when grease starts building up in your drain."

Just as Sheldon was going to defend his very practical idea, Howard spoke. "A necessity for all those hillbilly households that pour bacon fat directly down the drain," he added, shaking his head sadly.

Sheldon quickly decided to keep his mouth shut.

"My personal favorite of Sheldon's was 'Gun Chalk'," the engineer continued. "Which, by the way, in case you can't you can't imagine it, is a gun made out of chalk. Why? Here's the selling point: 'When someone says 'draw', you can!' Yeah. That's not stupid."

"Why does it have to be a gun? Just hand out chalk," Raj wanted to know.

Sheldon stared open-mouthed at the astrophysicist. "Because it's a play on the words 'draw' and 'draw'. You're not from Texas so it's understandable that you don't get it."

Amy cleared her throat while she pushed up her glasses. "Well, that is quite a stretch just to make a play on words. But anyway, I think it's safe to say that we've all done things we may not be especially proud of. Anyway, Penny shared some wonderful news with us tonight about the modeling job. We should be talking about and celebrating that. So, Penny. Any ideas what you're going to do to prepare for this?"

"Well," Penny said, relief strong in her voice that the conversation had moved away from Serial Apeist, "I thought I would watch some episodes of America's Next Top Model. Maybe get some tips, you know?"

"Ooooh! That's a good idea," Bernadette squealed, clapping her hands in excitement. "Amy and I can help!"

"Wonderful idea! After we finish up here we can go across to your apartment, Penny," Amy added, "if it's OK with you."

"Yeah! Sure! Since I don't know what I'll be doing, I'd love any help," Penny answered just as there was a soft knock at the door.

"I wonder who that can be," Sheldon questioned, peering over Amy's head towards the door. "I'm not expecting anyone."

Since she was the only one currently not eating, Penny quickly stood. "I'll get it," she said as she made her way to the door.

Opening it, she saw …

"Bev!" Penny yelled in surprise. Pained groans immediately sounded around the room behind her.

Penny's heart squeezed in sympathy as the woman who stood before her was far from the elegantly put together woman she had known.

Leonard's mother looked like she had aged years from the last time she saw her. Her face was more pale and lined, giving it a sallow look and dark circles were prominent under her eyes. Her immaculately dyed and well kept hair, with every strand in place, was now fly away with long grey roots clearly visible.

These past few days had to be terrible for her, Penny thought.

"Penny," Bev greeted coolly.

Ah! But the icy interior, still fully intact!

Penny shook herself out of her reverie. "Bev! I'm sorry! Please! Come in," Penny said as she stepped aside, allowing Leonard's mother to enter. "You surprised me! We knew you were coming but we didn't know when to expect you."

"Yes. Thank you," Bev said as she entered the apartment. "My travelling itinerary was rather hastily cobbled together by my inept assistant. Regrettably, multiple delays and scheduling errors across Europe and the United States have prevented any timely arrival on my part. Even I was unsure when I would eventually arrive. Fortunately, my Patek Philippe watch, although rather old, keeps excellent time. I arrived this morning at exactly 3AM."

Closing the door, Penny's mouth and eyes widened in surprise. Looking at her friends, they all shared the same look of astonishment. As Bev made her way to Leonard's the chair at his desk to place her coat and pocketbook, behind Beverly's back, she silently mouthed to her to her friends, "OH MY, GOD! 3AM! 3AM!"

"Dr. Hofstadter," Howard greeted as he bolted upright from his seated position, as Bev approached. He stood ram-rod straight as if he were a solider awaiting inspection from a four-star general.

"Ma'am," Raj said as he followed Howard's suit, jumping up from his place on the floor, standing in Leonard's mother's presence, but visibly trembling while not making eye contact.

"Howard," Bev said frostily, returning his greeting.

"Dr. Hofstader," Howard said with a tremor in his voice, "I'd like to introduce you to my fiancé …"

Bev nodded towards Raj. "Oh yes. Leonard's Indian friend whose name I honestly do not remember," she said with casual indifference. "May I offer my congratulations to the both of you for your eventual realization of your latent homosexuality and the bravery you both had to have in 'coming out' at such an advanced stage."

"No … no," Howard quickly interjected, "this is my fiancé Dr. Bernadette Mary Ann Rostenkowski," he said, indicating the petite blonde standing beside him. "She's a microbiologist."

Raising an eyebrow, Bev looked critically back and forth between the triangle of engineer, astrophysicist, and microbiologist. "Oh. I see. Well a delusion is a firmly held conviction despite superior evidence to the contrary. And I know it is hard to accept the truth when the lies you are telling yourself is exactly what you want to hear. But do keep working on it. You are both torturing your id and it is screaming for its release."

Bernadette looked wide-eyed at her fiancé. "Howard? Is there something you want to tell me?"

Howard face palmed himself. "Nooo … she's just got the wrong idea. A very wrong idea," he said, pointing at Beverly.

"I don't know about that. You and Raj were just dancing beautifully together," Amy unhelpfully added.

At Amy's comment, Bev flashed a placating, all-knowing smile at the engineer and astrophysicist.

Hurt, angry, and feeling insulted, Bernadette furiously moved from her space on the couch. "Excuse me! I'm going to the rest room," she barked as she walked around the coffee table.

"Bernie! Wait! She's wrong," Howard pleaded, trailing after.

Oh, God, Penny thought as she watched Bernadette then Howard flee. First Dorothy and Michael took an axe to us and now it's Beverly.

"Raj … esh. My name's Rajesh. But you can call me just … Raj," Raj stammered.

"Oh, yes. Raj," Bev said briskly and dismissively as she glanced briefly and at the trembling astrophysicist as she walked past him.

"Beverly!" Sheldon gushed as he stood, the only one in the group who seemed genuinely pleased. "What a pleasure it is to see you!" He reached over and removed the light saber from Leonard's chair. "Please come in and have a seat," he said, indicating the now empty chair. "May I introduce my girlfriend, Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, a noted neurobiologist like yourself."

Bev extended her hand across the coffee table. "Yes. It's a pleasure to meet you, Amy. Sheldon has told me a great deal about you. If I may say, your article on the mapping of memory sequences in dendritic branches in Neuron magazine was absolutely inspired. Just fascinating."

Amy smiled as she shook Beverly's hand. "Thank you. Thank you very much. I've had the privilege of reading many of your works as well. I found your work on the early interpersonal neurobiological attachment disorders interesting."

"Thank you. I'm now continuing that line of my research with Romanian orphans. I'm finding it's quite the multi-faceted dynamic," Bev said as she crossed the room heading towards the seat that Sheldon was indicating. "Sheldon, please accept my apologies for coming unannounced. I hope you are not bothered by my intrusion."

"No! Not at all, Beverly! It's always a pleasure to see you," Sheldon gushed happily. He indicated the array of foods on the table. "We are having a 'pot luck' style of dinner tonight. May I offer you anything?"

"No food, thank you. But some tea would be nice, if you have any."

"Oolong, loose, not bagged, steeped three minutes, 2% milk, warmed separately with one teaspoon raw sugar," Sheldon said as he recalled happily, rising from the couch.

Bev smiled. "Perfect recall as always. Thank you, Sheldon."

With the backdrop of Howard and Bernadette distantly arguing in bathroom, Penny hoped to steer the conversation into neutral waters. "So, Bev! How was your flight?"

"Dreadful. My travels have been absolutely dreadful. Not only have there been extensive delays, but my briefcase with my computer and all my research and notes were lost, misplaced by a troll of an airport worker. They say it was inadvertently placed on a flight to Yemen. But, for some reason, I can see that wretched little woman holding my brief case by the handle and heaving it into the Delaware River as if it she were an Olympic shot putter."

"Why would she just do that," Amy wanted to know. "There would usually be a good reason to incite such behavior."

"Oh, I don't know. Perhaps it was my inquiry as to her obesity and her fingernails being bitten down to the quick and questioning if they were perhaps a response to unmet childhood issues, such a parent withholding love or favoring a sibling."

Penny, Raj, and Amy exchanged stunned glances.

"Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Bingo. We have a winner," Amy said sarcastically.

"Yeah, that would definitely be it," Rag agreed.

"I think it's a pretty safe bet that you can kiss your briefcase and computer goodbye," Penny added. "I really think it is at the bottom of that river just like you imagined."

The distant argument that Bernadette and Howard were having in the bathroom got louder at Bernadette suddenly flung the door open. She stomped her way into the living room followed by a sheepish-looking Howard.

"OK, lady. I don't know who you think you are. You meet my fiancé once and you make the snap diagnosis that he's a latent homosexual?! What kind of psychiatrist are you?! For what it's worth, I think you're right about Raj …"

"Hey," Raj yelled from his place on the floor.

"Bernie … please … now is not the time for this," Howard pleaded softly. "Her son has been gravely injured …"

Bernadette turned on Howard. "So? She's upset and that gives her the right to insult us and walk all over us? Jesus! We suffered through her despicable children's visit …"

Sheldon arrived at Leonard's chair, where Bev was sitting, with teacup in hand. He placed the cup on the coffee table in front of Leonard's mother. "Bernadette. You are insulting a friend and guest of mine. I'm sorry. But I'm going to ask you to leave."

"Bernadette. You have a right to be upset about Dr. Hofstadter's comments about Howard and Rajesh," Amy soothed, "but she's not here to answer for or defend Dorothy's and Michael's behavior."

Fuming, Bernadette pointed at Beverly. "She raised them!"

Penny found herself agreeing with Amy. "Bernadette, they're adults. That's a separate issue and none of that is on Bev," she added.

"No, Sheldon. Bernadette. Please stay and enjoy your dinner together. I've intruded on your evening uninvited and obviously there are other painful issues that I unknowingly represent. I shall leave and I want you all to enjoy your time together. If you don't mind, I will use the restroom before I go," Bev said as she started to stand. "And Bernadette. You are correct. It was a 'snap diagnosis' I made the first time I ever met Howard and Raj. But decades worth of psychiatric experience and knowledge, as well as not being so closely involved with the situation, gives me a certain leverage … that … others may not have. Now, if you'll excuse, me. I'll use the restroom before I go," Bev said as she turned and walked away from the scene at the coffee table.

"You see? This is why we need a singular cuisine for our meals! It's the Prayer Fest and Bar-B-Que Feast all over again," Sheldon shouted. "Every Fest and Feast ended with people screaming and in fist fights!"

"Yeah, but we're talking about hillbillies in east Texas. Were there guns and alcohol at the Fest and Feast," Howard wanted to know.

Sheldon remained silent.

Howard smiled. "Case closed."

Standing outside of the bathroom, Bev cast a glance down the hallway and saw the closed door to Leonard's bedroom. Forgetting about the reason she went to the restroom, she walked to her son's door. Opening it, she entered.

The room was spotless.

The bed was perfectly made and it looked as if the pillowcases were ironed. The windows were so clean, the glass panes looked invisible and the curtains were drawn back, letting in the evening light. All the wooden surfaces in the room gleamed with a soft, warm glow and a light scent of lemon still wafted in the air, telling her that everything had been recently polished.

Adding to the ambiance, a small lamp was lit on the far bedside table, giving the impression that resident had just stepped out and would be returning to the comfortable room shortly.

Drawn to the framed photographs that were clustered on the chest of drawers and bookshelf, Bev made her way across the room, her fingers trailing across Leonard's soft blue comforter as she went.

Housed in beautiful frames that Leonard had carefully selected, she was greeted by the photos of smiling faces of those that she had known but were now long dead. Leonard's Uncle Floyd and his Aunt Edna were there, smiling as they proudly stood front of their bakery on a bright summer day, signs for his butter and his world famous cherry-vanilla almond cookies displayed in the window. Mitzy, her muzzle greyed from her advanced years and looking as if she were smiling at the photographer, was stretched out in the sun on the pillows in the bay window of their Princeton home. There was a photo of Dr. Boots too as she sat, sleepy and contentedly curled in the lap of the one who took the photograph. There was one of Leonard and his friends dressed ridiculously as if they were attending a Renaissance Faire: Leonard was wearing the costume of a knight, Sheldon a stern monk, Howard dressed as a jester, and Raj as a fop.

And tucked in the frame that held Floyd and Edna's photo was one of Leonard and Penny. The tiny black and white picture was cut from a strip of photos that one would get from a photo booth. Bev pulled the photo from the protective edge of the frame to look at it closer. The edges of the photo were rounded and softened, as if the little image had been handled regularly and frequently.

Leonard and Penny's faces were squeezed together, each one of them making a funny face, vying for the camera.

They looked silly.

And happy.

Bev guessed that it was taken sometime during their relationship.

As she tucked the little photo back into the safety of the frame, Bev did note that that there were no photos of herself, Leland, Dorothy, or Michael.

Bev sighed.

The total absence of any photos of them, save for pets, was Leonard's pointed recrimination of his entire immediate family.

"I've been keeping his room clean."

Bev turned to see Sheldon standing at the door.

"I can tell. It's spotless," Bev said as she twisted slightly, positioning the photo frame, sliding it back into its original place on the chest of drawers before turning back to face Sheldon.

Sheldon shrugged slightly as he took a small step into the room. "It's the least I can do. Keeping it all nice and ready for Leonard when he returns."

"That won't be for months, I'm afraid."

Sheldon's expression darkened at Bev's words as he slightly nodded his head. "I know. They told us that the first night."

"You and Leonard have quite the relationship."

"We do. Leonard is important to me. He's the first person who has ever made me feel … ," Sheldon paused, searching for the right words, "… included and … welcomed … into a group. Not like I was the continual oddball and outsider. Bernadette reminded me of that when we were waiting outside the operating room. Leonard is the common denominator that brought everyone together … everyone who is very important to me. Including you."

Bev smiled. "That's a lovely thing to say. If you haven't already, make sure you tell him that sometime."

"Beverly, I am truly sorry that all that happened just now," Sheldon said, pointing a thumb over his shoulder, indicating the direction of the living room.

"I admit I'm surprised. Dorothy said she and Michael had a lovely visit. Obviously, there are more tales to tell."

Nodding, Sheldon stepped further into the room. "Can I tell you something?"

"You may."

"That night … that night when all this happened …," Sheldon paused, taking a deep, steadying breath, "I purposely started an argument with Leonard. He had a small scientific success … and it made me jealous. I dredged up some of his embarrassing failures to purposely hurt him. But … I never meant for him to … to leave. I was jealous and wanted to make him hurt … emotionally. I could never have imagined that all of this would happen … I would never want any of this to happen. I'm so sorry, Beverly. And it doesn't matter if Leonard does forgive me. I'll never forgive myself."

"I see. Well I guess it doesn't help to know that you were subjected to a very basic human emotion. It's interesting because jealousy grows out a fear especially if you feel as if you might lose something that is very important to you. In this case, it was your intellectual superiority. Leonard got recognized for superior work, he subverted your expectations, flipping your long held paradigm."

Sheldon nodded. "A primal, basic emotion. It has made me reflect on my homo novus status."

"Perhaps then you are not above us all," Bev said with a sad smile.

Sheldon nodded in agreement. "Would you like to stay and talk? Howard and Bernadette just left."

"No, thank you, Sheldon. I will take my leave. But I'll be here for a while so maybe we can arrange a date for just the two of us? I do love our conversations."

"I'd like that too."

"And maybe you can fill me on what Dorothy and Michael managed to do."

Sheldon sighed heavily. "Do you have an entire week free?"

"An entire week? That bad? They were only here a few days," Bev said as she exited the room.

"It was its own Prayer Fest and Bar-b-Que Feast," Sheldon said as he closed the door.

"Oh dear."