Haha, some of you probably remember the title, and you should. :D This story was taken down for a stupid reason, so I decided to re-post. And completely re-write, as well. Not the plot, per say, but just.. everything else.

It's better, trust me. :D

Warnings: Incest. Rape. Language. All of that.

I disclaim! D: No gey secks in the anime.

OoO

I was thirteen when my dad caught me with Itachi Uchiha in the back of his silver Volvo.

We were parked behind the old ramen shop located not far from Elder Leaf Middle at eleven o'clock on a Thursday night.

Itachi is my brother.

He was nineteen.

I didn't love him.

I'm not sure that I even liked him.

The car was stuffy from sweat, and we were stoned.

We'd been doing the same thing we'd done a thousand times before ever since my seventh birthday. I could smell the fresh fragrance of the nearby river, and in my head, I imagined how it would've felt like to have been inside its cold embrace.

Not being able to smell him.. Not being able to feel the constant slapping of his skin against me, or the long hair that splayed like ink against my face..

Not being able to breathe. Not being able to live.

That was what I wanted.

The thought of drowning in that river transfixed my mind. It snatched it away from me. I loved that. I couldn't think of a better, more suiting death for myself.

I wanted to die so badly.

To have had the gelid water burning at my insides. To have it slice at every organ, to feel myself aflame from the outside in. Over and over again.

"Spread your legs a little more.."

His whispers were always so frightening. His commands, so filthy.

I didn't dare open my eyes then. To see his familiar face so close to me again, to be reminded of just how identical his features were to mine.

His jaw was my own as my nose was his.

My brother. My blood.

His continuous, dirty whispering was a million miles away from me then. My voice didn't exist. Neither did his grunts, his cursing, or the demeaning names. He was not real as I imagined myself dying over and over again.

Nobody was.

My eyes involuntarily opened the moment I felt him probing at my stretched asshole with his dick still crushed in it. I was immediately reminded of where I really was.
I lied there. Naked. In that car, with my brother on top of me. I could feel his prick rubbing fiercely against my insides at a painful, animalistic pace. The feeling was shaming. I was pathetic. Filthy and disgraced.

I didn't move, and I took it like a bitch.

I didn't have the strength or the courage to do anything he didn't want me to. I felt my thighs being pushed towards my head so that my legs were on either side of my face. The position hurt. I didn't argue, though. I didn't even blink.

He could have me any way he wanted. I didn't care anymore. I stopped caring the day I realized just how much of a worthless shit I was compared to him.

Mother was always proud of him. She always smiled at him, hugged, and kissed him. She persistently bought him the best of anything in Konoha, without fail. She told him that she loved him. Missed him. Was proud of him.

Father wasn't much different.

Father worshiped Itachi like a God. He told my brother everything he knew, taught him as much as he could. Fugaku did anything that could possibly make Itachi more perfect than he already was. Anything to make him better than me.

Anything.

I, on the other hand, was ignored, of course. The unwanted, unplanned, nearly-aborted child (I know this because I once read the first few pages of one of my mother's diaries).

Her written words made me angry. Ashamed. I wished I would have died. I wished she would have never changed her mind.

A sturdy hand choking at my throat snapped me away from my thoughts. Itachi always liked doing that. Watching me gag, seeing me near death. I wished he would really just do it one day. To not let go, to watch as my eyes rolled back into my skull as he drilled for more oil even after I died.

But no.. He would eventually let go every time.

I looked towards the hazy image of my brother's handsome face and resented him.

He was so beautiful.

His jawline was unbearably masculine, his eyes, a deep scarlet. His shoulders were broad, his lips were perfect.

I breathed in silently, lowering my legs, when I felt his hands feeling all over my chest. His perpetual, barbarous penetrations made my whole body shake. A mere second more, and I felt a sickening, thick warmth being poured from within the inner caverns of my asshole. My eyes winced, disgusted.

It hurt so bad. So fucking bad.

But I couldn't even tear up. I had always saved the tears for bedtime.

My head was spinning by the time Itachi turned me over and stabbed himself into me again. Though, there was no friction this time. He slid right in.

"Your ass is gaping.. You little slut."

He laughed a cruel, narcissistic laugh.

I did nothing.

The car moved violently beneath us, but he wouldn't stop. His hands tore at my hair, but I bit my mouth shut, sheathing all of the pain away.

It took me a second to realize that I was starting to see double. The drugs were finally kicking in.

My favorite part.

In my mind, I began to write a story.

Another story. A story in which I threw myself inside the freezing heart of the river. Lungs ablaze, eyes bloating from my head.. A story in which I died. Again.

Those were always the best ones. The stories without me in it were always the best ones.

My dick gave a final twitch from beneath me at both my thoughts and the hot feeling stemming from my ass when Itachi suddenly swore and got off of me.

A strong gust of wind violated the inside of the car.

Someone had opened the door, and I didn't even have to look to know who it was.

My father pulled Itachi out of the car and then me, by the hair. I was thrown on the ground, my brother standing stiff and mortified beside me.

I was naked. I was cold. And I felt nothing.

My heart didn't skip a beat. I wasn't in shock. I did not faint, I didn't cuss, I didn't run, I didn't move, I wasn't even scared. Instead, I looked straight towards the river, my eyes blank.

Itachi, on the other hand, was terrified.

His scarlet, dahlia eyes were frozen over with a sheen of shame and anxiety. His legs were bare. He was exposed before my father's eyes, his face tense and frigid like cracking ice.

He smelled of sex, of semen, and so did I. Even the harsh winter air was not enough to mask the distasteful stench from the both of us.

I had nothing to lose.

Everything would stay the same. Everyone would continue to hate me. My life wouldn't change.

It was best that way. I couldn't envisage it any other way.

One thing was assured, however.

I wouldn't dare look at my Father's face.

I heard him tread closer towards both of our naked bodies, his shoes thick and resounding on the solid concrete.

I imagined his face wrinkled into a horrifying frown, his eyes threatening the tears he'd failed to hold back. Tears not meant for me, but for my brother.

My eyes widened momentarily the moment I caught sight of Itachi opening his mouth to speak, only to choke on whatever words, igniting a strange sound as if someone had shot him square in the throat.

My curiosity seethed, I couldn't help it, and I stole a quick glance at my Father.

There might have been several tears slipping down his cheek, or it might have been a trick of the car's headlights bouncing off the night fog. I wasn't completely sure which one it really was.

My brother had ceased his words, however. Itachi never did anything like that.

I am certain now that Fugaku had cried.

Fugaku never cried.

I heard Itachi attempt to say something again after I quickly turned away.

I did hear it.. I know I did. I just don't remember what it was.

"Don't." Fugaku's voice was a diamond. Solid. Unreadable.

Unbearable.

I closed my eyes and looked towards the ground, ashamed of getting my brother into trouble, but not the least bit ashamed for myself.

All of my shame had remained inside that car, on my bed, the smell of every night that I begged for Itachi to stop. My shame rested beneath the shower-head, on the stove, on my parents' bed, on the couch, on every wall..

There was no shame left for me. All was lost, spread, the same way my legs were every day.

There was a lot of screaming that night, I recall. No one slept. I didn't go to school the next day, and Itachi didn't go to college, either.

That was almost a year ago.

Father hadn't looked or talked to neither Itachi or I the entire time.

I was a ghost in the house, and my brother moved out.

He stopped fucking me.

I was alone, friendless. Depressed.

OoO

I was stuck with my parents.

I hadn't seen Itachi ever since the day he had moved out.

I couldn't deny the lingering, cursed fact that I somewhat missed him. I missed hiding in his shadow, because now, all the attention was on me.

All of it.

I woke up that morning, my eyes smudged and ugly with unsettled sleep.

That day was the first day of school. I hated school, and everyone in it.

What made everything more intolerable was that I was going to a new school. A new grade. A new burden.

I hated change. I hated everything.

I hadn't even beheld the insufferable building, yet I could already feel all of those eyes staring at me. Curious as to why my eyes were so black, why my hair was how it was. Questioning if I was possessed by Satan, or some such shit like that.

Nobody knows what happened on that Thursday night by the river.

No one in the Uchiha household dared open their mouths about it. Not even Itachi.

And I.. Well, why would I say anything?

I kicked out of bed, sitting up on the mattress like an alien that just came down from outer space. If I had a mirror in front of me, I would've probably thrown up a little. I reeked of B.O, and my crotch was drenched in cum.

Nocturnal emissions were always so fucking lovely.

Not.

I slid my ass off the bed and walked over to the bathroom, slamming the door hard behind me. One thing that I loved was the sound of noise in the morning. I loved anything that could possibly put me in a bad mood.

The face that stared back at me from the mirror was formidable. My lips were chapped. My skin was a deathly pale. My features, sallow. I resembled a melting piece of shit.

I took out the deodorant from the drawer, and sprayed some under my arms. No time for a shower, so I wiped all of the cum from in between my legs with the towel that I often dried my face with.

No use toying with the hair. It looked like a bird's ass, and I liked It that way.

I secretly mourned for longer hair, however. Hair that would almost touch my ass just like Itachi's. I would have killed for those blood-red eyes and long lashes that he had.

I would kill for anything that he's ever had.

I dressed in a black shirt and dark, drainpipe jeans that would stick to my legs like skin. I liked the friction they gave me when I sat down.

Rubbing at my balls, caressing whatever sudden boner I would get during class.

Yeah.

Yawning, I walked out towards the kitchen, not even bothering to take my backpack with me. Fuck being ready. Fuck rules. Fuck life.

My mother was already there, waiting for me right in the kitchen entrance like a vulture would as it anticipated the inglorious death of some dejected, starving animal. A smile was on her never-aging face, and her hands held up a plate of oatmeal.

"I made it just for you, sweetie," she smiled, handing me the bowl. "I remember just how much you liked strawberry oatmeal in the mornings when you were little."

I wanted to correct her.

I wanted to say that it was Itachi who liked strawberry fucking oatmeal, not me. But I held my tongue. I knew she missed him. I knew she missed him all the fucking time no matter how much she told my father that she didn't.

I sat down on the kitchen table and set down the bowl, ravaging the food in my mouth like a dog who hadn't eaten anything in months. Which was kind of true in this particular case. I had been surviving on Doritos and water alone those past several days.

The bowl was empty in seconds. I turned towards her, a comical look on her endearing face.

"You really need to stabilize your diet, honey. Those chips won't get you very far, now will they?" She laughed one of her quiet laughs. The kind of laugh that I knew made my heartless, insensitive, asshole of a father fall in love with her. "Well, I hope you have a great day at school, Sasuke. Don't get in trouble, and study hard. Make some friends too."

As if.

"I will," I choked, failing miserably at optimism. My voice had resembled that of a dying cow mooing its last worthless moos before the slaughter.

Except, in my case, the slaughter was being surrounded by a bunch of idiots.

She smiled at my stupidity like a mother would. "I love you. Get perfect grades like Ita-…"

Itachi.

"I mean, get good grades like your father and I did, of course!" She gave a chaste chuckle, and then reached out to give me a small hug to cover her previous crime.

Her tits crushed my face, but I didn't mind. I was confused.

Why didn't she just say it? Why didn't she rub my brother's perfection all over my face in the form of a wet, slimy dick?

Why didn't she admit the fact that I was a cheap replacement to her? Why wouldn't she express her thorough disgust towards me after I caused what I caused a year ago?

Fuck if I knew. Shit.

"Bye, mom," I whispered like a bitch, walking out the front door and slamming it.

Next thing I knew, I was walking towards my unpremeditated death.

OoO

I felt like the God that I refused to believe in was on my side that day when the Biology teacher, (some creepy scarecrow), sat me in the back of the room.

I had always been seated in the front in every grade I'd been in, and I hated it. I was actually starting to like high school altogether.

"Hello, I'm Mr. Hatake. Sorry I'm late, I'm afraid I became lost in the road of what is known as 'life'," he drawled on as he read a small, orange book which clearly contained pornographic material. "I predict most of you are very excited to begin your experience as a high school student. All you need to do to pass my class is do what I say. Simple, ne?"

What an idiot.

I ignored everything else that came out of his mouth, and stared at the clock. Two minutes down, fifty-eight more to go. I wanted to die.

I wondered if anyone would notice if I just walked straight out of class. Of the school, even.

"Sasuke! Sasuke Uchiha!" he, (I presume), half-shouted across the room about twenty minutes later.

"Y-yes..Mr. Hatake?" Caught me by surprise. I was in the middle of rubbing my dick during class, after all.

"State your name, birthday, and favorite hobby to the class, would you."

I found it all terribly unnecessary.

And I bet he did, too, considering the incredibly uninterested tone of his irksome voice.

I cleared my throat, glancing at all the hormone-driven girls in the classroom eating me alive with their crazy, hyperactive eyes. Girls wanted to sit on my dick, and I didn't quite know why. All I knew was that I hated it.

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha. July 23rd. I like.." I thought about it for a moment, I really did, "Drowning."

Several incredulous gasps later, all you could hear were a couple of idiots whispering 'emo', 'freak', and 'hottie', among other inscrutably retarded things that I don't feel like remembering. I shrugged all of them off.

Fuck these bitches.

"Thank you. Though I would stop having drowning as a favorite hobby as soon as possible, Sasuke. Very dangerous thing, you know." He flipped the page to his porn without even as much as glimpsing my way. "Next."

I glanced at the kid sitting in the desk beside me whom I assumed would be the next to be publicly humiliated (my favorite kind of porn, by the way), and my eyes went wide.

I was instantly blinded by hair that resembled a yellow haystack, and eyes that were bluer than the shiniest shit I'd ever come across in my entire life. Not that I'd ever actually come across a shiny blue shit, but damn, his eyes were off-the-charts-blue.

Just like the river.

Just like the river that I wished with all of my piteous being that one day I would drown myself into. Glossy and blue. Lazuline blue.

There were marks on his cheeks, like those of a fox, and there was a big white smile on his ecru-colored face.

I had never seen anyone, anything, so.. radiant.

Well, fuck.

I sat up in my chair and listened, listened for anything that this particular idiot had to say.

"Hi! I'm Naruto Uzumaki!" he shouted at an incredulous volume with a blatant pride that made every idiot in the room cringe. "My birthday is on October 10th, and I like working on my presidential campaign! Dattebayo!."

If he weren't so fucking sexy, I would have probably laughed my ass off like everyone else proceeded to do moments later. A couple of girls giggled flirtatiously at him, batting their stupid eyes towards his general direction. I think a vein protruded somewhere on my body, but I would rather forget where.

I just couldn't stop staring at the idiot.

I think I thought that he was.. adorable? (God forgive me for saying such words).

I already knew I wasn't going to like him at all. Not with the butterflies in my stomach. Nope. Not at all.

When the laughter died down, I quickly turned away from him, partially ashamed.

I was not a faggot.

Of course I wasn't.. I didn't like guys. Or girls. I hated everything.

"Psst, hey," something whispered from somewhere around me. I dared to turn towards it, my insides twisting into a fleshy knot from within me. "I like your name, Sasuke." It was him. The idiot; Naruto.

A rush of blood betrayed my face.

I must have looked and sounded like such a bitch.

"Thank you.."

I swear I hadn't meant for that to come out the way it did, and I knew that I would dearly regret it later that day.

OoO

Classes were over.

I was the first to get out of the stifling History classroom taught by some demented woman with watermelons for tits.

I was able to see the outline of her nipples beneath her shirt the whole time she bit everyone's head off. It was kind of hot.

I rehearsed the schedule I had in my head as I walked down the crowded halls:

First Period: Biology w/ Kakashi (Pervert scarecrow)

Second Period: Geometry w/ Hidan (Religious fanatic who will one day end up raping everyone)

Third Period: Physical Education w/ Gai (Insane weirdo with ridiculous green jumpsuit)

Fourth Period: Ceramics w/ Deidara (Idiot who could pass for a woman)

Fifth Period: English w/ Orochimaru (Pasty white guy who clearly wishes to fuck me)

Sixth Period: History w/ Tsunade (Tits...)

Before I could even attempt to open my locker, some jumping piece of shit almost pushed me to the ground.

I was about ready to pound my fist into said shit's face if it wasn't for what came next.

"HEY SASUKE!" a familiar, high-pitched voice screamed. "I saw you during lunch all alone and I was going to go with you but all of my friends said that it would be better if I stayed with them because you looked like a loner and you might kill me n'suff so I would like to apologize about that, oh! And my friends Sakura and Ino think you're hot and they wanna know if you would like to go out with them, they're like, super obsessed with you and—"

It was Naruto.

Talking a million words per second.

I couldn't understand half of the crap that he was spewing. I just stood there stupidly, looking at him as if he had grown a third head or something.

His face was just so.. attractive.

A rush of blood began to choke my face, (among.. other.. more insidious places), and I had to look away quickly to stop the overwhelming effect he was having on me by just.. being an idiot.

"Leave me alone. I don't know you."

The words slid right out of my mouth.

My recited sentence. The sentence I snapped at anyone who tried to talk to me.

I had no interest in having friends.

Especially friends like him. He was somebody who everyone flocked around like sheep. He was somebody who everyone liked being around.

Like Itachi.

Just like Itachi.

"Hey.. I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to-"

I immediately cut him off.

He was just an idiot, after all. Like all the others. What could possibly be any different about him?

"Fuck off," I hissed. I gave him a cold, uninviting glare and walked away, leaving behind a blatant aura of spite.

With each step that I took away from him, however, a butterfly died from within my stomach, and I could feel it. My arms tensed.

I wanted to go back.. Maybe say sorry, maybe tell him that I didn't exactly mean what I said. That I liked his name..

But I didn't. Because who would want to be my friend, anyway?

Especially if they knew where I'd been nearly my whole life; beneath my own brother.

OoO

Sooooo? Is it better? Is it? Is it? xD haha Poor Sasuke.. It's nice to tone him down a little now and then.

The next four chapters are already written. I will post each within a generous time frame. So you guys won't have to wait too long. (:

I'm glad that I'm continuing this. I missed it, I just had to re-post.

Comments below, my lovelies? :3 Thank you mucho for reading! xx