Hello everyone.

I just wanted to take a minute to explain the concept of this story..
I was updating my tumblr challenge earlier this afternoon, and I couldn't rid myself of the idea that it was something that could be used for fanfiction. So, I decided to write my own challenge (it didn't seem right to use one already in existence), and then to write each answer from Beckett's point of view. I thought that 30 Days was a good number to keep to, as 365 always seems like such a daunting prospect.

For anyone who doesn't know what a tumblr challenge is, it is a set of questions posted by someone on tumblr, which are then answered (one each day) by anyone who wants to be involved in the challenge.

If you would like to know the questions, I have posted the list on my fanfic profile.

Disclaimer: All characters are belonging to their rightful owners, I am simply borrowing them for a little while.

Day One
Introduce yourself (start with your name, it gets easier after that) Tell us who you are, and why you're taking part in our 30 day challenge?

I'm Kate - Katherine really, but it never did quite suit me. I turned 31 this year, which may seem a little old for someone taking part in a tumblr challenge, but I promise to explain my reasons to you all very soon.

Up until almost two months ago, I was an NYPD homicide detective, and that is all I ever thought that I would be. And then something happened to me (something that I wish I could tell you about, but it is still a part of an active case, so I am legally prevented from discussing the details). What I can tell you is that I was selfish and reckless in the decisions that I made, and that it almost killed me. I nearly died, for not the first time in far too short a time, and I suddenly realised that I didn't even recognise the life that I was leading. I didn't know why I was doing my job, because it certainly wasn't for the victims anymore; and if you aren't doing it for them, then should you really be doing it at all? So, I handed in my badge and my gun, and walked out of my precinct determined to never look back.

Now it has been almost eight weeks, and that determination is wavering a little.

I should be happy. I have escaped the life that was certain to destroy me. I have a man who loves me more than I ever imagined possible, and whom I love back with all my heart. I have my Dad. I have my friends. I have everything that I wanted; everything that I was hoping for when I resigned. But I am still not certain that I have found happiness.
I miss my job. I miss going to bed at night and knowing that I am making a difference in the world. I miss the thrill of it all, the adrenaline rushing through my veins and the pounding of my heart against my chest. I miss having a purpose in life.

I suppose that is why I am here. I am in the pursuit of happiness.

My resignation is not made official until next month (due to some very dull and dreary technicalities that I won't bore you with), so I have up until then to decide if resignation is definitely what I want.
Everyone who I love has told me that it is my decision; that they are with my either way, that I need to base my decision purely on what I want.
But I have absolutely no idea what I want. And I equally have absolutely no idea on how to discover what it is that I want.

I have been seeing a psychiatrist for over a year now; at first it was a mandatory part of my job, but I soon came to realise that perhaps I needed him more than I had been willing to admit. I told him in a session we had a couple of weeks ago that I was starting to doubt my decision; that maybe I had acted in the heat of the moment, and now I'm not sure if it is really what I want.
We've spoken a lot about it, but I am yet to find myself any closer to a decision. He suggested today that I start this challenge (apparently it is something that has worked with his other patients), and despite my protests that it seemed like some silly quiz I would have taken in High School, I trust my Doctor enough to know that he would only suggest something to me if he thought that it might help.

So, here I am, writing to strangers on the internet in the vain hope that it will somehow unscramble my mind enough for me to come to a decision about what I want out of the rest of my life.
I know, ridiculous isn't it. But, right now, it's all that I have; and honestly, I am willing to try anything.

If you have any questions, I am more than happy to answer them. I have been tasked with being as open and honest as I possibly can be, so please feel free to be as personal as you like.
Other than that, I guess I will be seeing you all tomorrow.

To be continued..

*I have a couple of questions for you*

1. This is not the type of story that I have ever written before, nor have I read many that are similar to it, so I would greatly appreciate your feedback on whether or not it is something that you would be interested in reading? I won't take offence if you think it is an awful idea, I'd just like to know before I write too much of it :)

2. One point of tumblr is that people are able to post the answers to the questions that they receive, but obviously fanfic is a totally different format to that. But, I have an idea on how to get around this..
If anyone had a question that they would like to ask Beckett (as in the Beckett of this story) then they could send it to me in a review/pm and I will have a story running alongside this one which is made up of the questions/answers.
Good idea, or is it just a bit silly?

I am very sorry for rambling, but please drop me an answer if you get five minutes to do so.
It would honestly mean the world to me.
And I promise to keep the author's notes much shorted from now on.

Thank you for reading,
Katie