Death: Warning, may contain spoilers! Note that this is taking place in the afterlife. This is the updated version since Dark told me that a user named "MrGoodyTwoShoes" said it was not allowed. This is the new, updated version. YOU HAPPY NOW "MRGOODYTWOSHOES"?

An Akatsuki Interview With Sasori Akasuna

"Interviewing with us today will be Sasori Akasuna. Sasori, do you have anything you want to say before we start the interview?" Death asked.

"How long is this going to take? I hate waiting." Sasori complained.

"Relax. You're dead. You've got all the time in the world." Death gestured with her hand.

"Right... Chop, chop." Sasori said.

"Alright. Question one, what were your hobbies?" Death coughed and held up a white sheet of paper.

"Oh, that's easy. Remolding my puppet collection of course." Sasori perked up.

"How do you make a human puppet anyway?" Death asked.

"Oh, that's easy. I could show you if you gave me an actual human." Sasori explained.

"Here." Death then reached into the portal to the living and pulled out a random kid. She then handed it to Sasori.

"AAAAHHHHH!" Those were the kid's last words before...

...

"And that's how you turn human flesh into a puppet." Sasori announced as he held up a little-kid puppet.

"Very interesting." Death clapped her hands. "But what do you do with all the flesh and bones?"

"Oh, I used to feed them to Zetsu." Sasori claimed.

"Ah... Question two, what was you're favorite food?" Death asked once more.

"I don't eat."

"I meant when you were a child."

"Oh... Mochi I guess." Sasori put a finger on his lip.

"Ooh! What flavor?" Death questioned.

"Um... Red bean? I don't know, It's hard to remember." Sasori fumbled.

"No biggie." Death held up her list once more. "Question three, why are you called Sasori of the Red Sand?"

"Tsk," Sasori leaned back on his chair and crossed his arms. "because some idiot left over from the war saw the sand soaking red with blood after I took down that entire nation. Next question."

"Question four, from Thunder. Why do people associate you with scorpions?" Death asked.

"What kind of question is that?" Sasori held up three fingers. "My name means "scorpion", my symbol is a red scorpion, Hiruko had a scorpion tail, and apparently, my sign is a Scorpio. It's not that hard."

"Which brings me to question five, from Breeze. If you are a Scorpio, why do you refer to yourself as emotionless when water signs like yourself are all about emotion? Oh, I can answer this." Death looks at the (your) screen. "As you can see, Breeze. Sasori seems to be showing a lot of emotion just from this interview. Does that answer your question?"

"Hey. Whatever. I'm dead so it doesn't even matter." Sasori said as he turned his nose up.

"Yep, he's real emotional." Death whispered.

"What was that?" Sasori gave Death a death glare.

"Nothing. By the way, I invented that." She points at death glare. "Anyway, question six, from Snow. How did you feel when you got defeated by a girl with pink hair and your own grandma?" Death did a little silent chuckle "Ooh... Nice one Snow!"

Sasori face palmed. "I believe we've all had really embarrassing moments in our life... But to answer your question, Snow, I felt like shit."

"Granted. Question seven, from Blizzard. Why did you let your own grandma kill you?" Death moved on.

"Because I was sick of following Pein's stupid orders for him. 'You have to catch the three tailed Jinguriki for me and stand by as my slaves as I rule the world' and blah, blah, blah. That greedy bastard doesn't even have any consideration for us. It's just a load of crap!" Sasori yelled.

"Wow, you're certainly more emotional than I thought." Death commented.

"What of it?" Sasori narrowed his eyes at her.

"Er... Onto question eight. Why did you even join the Akatsuki in the first place?" Death asked.

"To expand my collection of course, and to show off my artwork. Also for the neat looking robes." Sasori answered.

"Those robes are pretty cool... Ok, question nine, from... Yaoi fans." Death winced. "What kind of relationship do you have with Deidara? And if you had to kiss him somewhere, where would it be?"

"He's just a little brat that constantly keeps people waiting on a regular basis and doesn't know the true meaning of art." Sasori sighed. "Then again, he's my little brat, so not all that useless. And I am not answering that last question."

"But you have to..."

"Or what?" Sasori challenged.

Death opens up a portal to hell.

"Alright, alright. Fine." Sasori gave in.

Death slowly closes the portal.

"The hand, I guess." Sasori sighed.

"Just the hand?"

"Yes!" He did a little puppet blush. "Now next question."

"Hmm... Alright, last one question, from Vouvezsoir, why do you keep your heart in a Pringles container?" Death knit her eyebrows.

"What? Someone actually found out?" Sasori looked bewildered. "~CENSORED~"

"Calm down and answer the question already!" Death shouted.

Sasori stopped and sat back down. "Ugh, because it has good ventilation and it was the only thing that I could find around the hideout that could actually fit my heart." He sighed.

"So... You painted it?" Death asked.

"Of course. Couldn't have the rest of the Akatsuki tease me about having a retarded mustached faced guy's logo printed on something as precious as my heart." Sasori crossed his arms.

"Ok... Well, that's it for the first chapter of Akatsuki interviews views! Coming up next will be an interview on Deidara! Stay tuned, people of the living!" That was Death signing off.

Death: There will be another upload shortly! Don't worry, we will be sure it interview all of the Akatsuki.