Author: Aralanthiriel
Rating: PG-13
Summary: As far as we know, the Quest to destroy the Ring only took place once. So, how on earth did all the extra Fellowship members fit in? Inspired by "Nine Men and a Little Lady."
Author's Note: Many thanks to Kielle for allowing me to build on her original premise:-)
Sources: The timeline to this story was constructed using Appendix B of RotK, and the dates are translated with reference to the Encyclopedia of Arda.
Disclaimer: All things Middle-Earth belong to Tolkien. And I'm quite sure that the Mary-Sues belong to Morgoth or some other such evil figure.
Chapter One - The Arrival of the Sues
12 CermiëJuly 4th, 3018, TA
Ah, what a glorious day! Finally, I was able depart for Imladris to seek the meaning of that confounding riddle! I knew that if I sulked around the house long enough, father would eventually give in and let me leave. I know him all too well.
'Tis a pity Faramir did not come along, though. I had first deemed the journey too perilous for him, but now I wonder if it would be better to have his company right now. At least, he could have told me whether I was simply seeing things when those bodies started dropping out of the sky in the distance a few hours ago. It was a most disconcerting sight, and that is not even mentioning the hideous shrieks that echoed throughout the area.
I wonder if Lord Elrond will be able to explain that as well?
Hmm... Best to keep such things to myself. He'll think me strange enough once he hears of my dream.
29 Urimë / August 20th, 3018, TA
It has been nearly two months now. The screams have been getting louder and more frequent every day. One would think that as I approach Imladris, I would be further from these beasts, but alas! All the directions I have received thus far only conspire to bring me closer to their unearthly screams. Do these creatures care nothing for the slumber of others? If I should ever encounter one of these vile creatures, I will make sure that they get well acquainted with the edge of my blade!
Blasted villains...
I'll get them...
Yáviérë / September 21st, 3018, TA
Another month passes by and still I have not reached Imladris. I suppose it is too late now to regret not bothering to find a map...
But onto happier tidings - those horrible screeching... things... that have been falling out of the sky have finally disappeared. Now, I merely see strangely clothed humans (if you can call them that) appearing and disappearing in flashes of light. It is no less startling, but at least they seem to go about their business quietly. And judging by their strange murmurs, they all seem to originate from a place called "Kansas."
Who is this Toto they keep referring to?
10 Narquelië / October 1st, 3018, TA
Valar help me, I think that I have just seen a new breed of servants for Mordor. Those supposed "humans" that have been appearing in bright flashes of light? I got a closer look at one of them today. How could I have ever thought them harmless? Perhaps I was merely too glad to be rid of the screaming monsters from the sky.
Either way, I shall never forget my first encounter with such... well, strangeness, to say the least. It had the melodious voice of a fair maiden, and politely asked me for help. I suspect that is the creature's way of fooling their prey into letting their guards down. Thankfully, its hideous and impossible appearance quickly revealed its true nature. Its eyes were an impossible violet colour, and it seemed to have painted its eyelids with an equally unsightly yellow. It also had metallic objects embedded in its ears, and what looks like bright red blood smeared on its lips. When it raised its hand towards me, as if expecting me to kiss it (I still shudder now at the thought), I notice a bright green colour upon the tip of her fingers. Almost glowing. And its attire... Well, to say nothing of its utter lack of modesty, it is just not right that any creature could withstand the cold with such a scarcity of clothing.
And the worst part of this whole encounter was that I was incapable of raising my weapon against it. For some inexplicable reason, I wanted to help that dark servant. It, too, was seeking the way to Imladris. In the end, I nearly succumbed, but the strength of Gondor prevailed and I gave it directions to Mordor instead! The creature was foolish enough that it didn't notice my deception, nor that it was heading back to its homeland.
A difficult day's journey, but I believe that I have fared well enough.
3 Hísimë / October 24th, 3018, TA
Arrived in Imladris today after several months of dreary travel. While most men would be awestruck by the beauty and grace of the elves upon arrival, I was simply amazed at the number of daughters Lord Elrond had. Now, I was never one to pay much heed to the way of children's tales, but I could have sworn elves were not supposed to be so... active in producing offspring. Well, he is a half-elven... Perhaps they are different.
I really should not comment further, as it is none of my business, but... why is it that everywhere I turn, I meet a new daughter of his? And all with different mothers!
But I digress. It is not my place to question the... actions... of Lord Elrond. I am merely here to seek his counsel.
4 Hísimë / October 25th, 3018, TA
A secret council was held today to discuss matters of great importance. Odd how a whole new set of maidens previously unseen were suddenly present at the council. No longer able to contain my curiosity, I asked Lord Elrond why he would allow his daughters to attend to this meeting. My question was greeted with a great bout of laughter from him.
"Nay, these are not my daughters," replied Elrond. "These are princesses of high prestige from distant lands. They have come to the aid of Middle-Earth!"
"And what lands are these that they offer naught but women in the battle against a Dark Lord?" I asked incredulously, barely restraining my laughter.
For a moment, it seemed that Lord Elrond would agree with me, and join in my laughter. Then, his face turned grave and he responded, "Do not underestimate them, Boromir of Gondor, for though they be women, they are also the mightiest warriors of their land!"
I looked at their frail figures skeptically, but decided not to speak any further. Mighty warriors? I would not be surprised if they snapped under the weight of a true sword! The only plausible explanation I could find was that their land was simply bereft of any warriors. Hmm... Yes. That must be it. How else can these weaklings possibly be the mightest warriors in their land? A truly laughable notion.
After a tiring recap of the virtues of the princesses, we finally proceeded with the actual discussions. If I had known that they would spend so long discussing their own merits, I would never have opened my mouth and questioned them, albeit quietly and to Lord Elrond alone. It was the most excruciating form of torture I have ever known, and I am still surprised that I managed to live through it all.
As for the rest of the meeting, I can't say that went very well, either. The moment I mentioned the possibility (just the possibility, mind you!) of using the One Ring to defeat Sauron, pandemonium broke out. At least twenty of the princesses stood up simultaneously and began ranting about the dangers of the ring.
"No, Boromir, you cannot possibly think to wield such a powerful object!"
"No, Boromir, you must continue listening to us until you understand the perils of using the ring!"
"No, Boromir, you may not decapitate us. Look what evil influence the ring is having over you already!"
The rest of the meeting was too much of a headache for me to describe now. I had the immense "honour" of meeting Aragorn, Isildur's heir. The halfling decided to take the Ring to Mt. Doom. Oh, and Saruman has betrayed us all.
10 Hísimë October 31st, 3018, TA
Even more maidens have arrived at Imladris - some warriors, some royalty, and some quite insane, speaking only of someone named "Tolkien." They have all more or less calmed down by now, though, and they generally don't bother me much. Well, except for the one time I accidentally stepped on one of them. She was lying on the ground and marvelling at the beauty of the stars. I don't think she was too happy to be stepped on. Muttered something about ruining her inner soliloquoy.
Nevertheless, despite the occasional amusing incidents, my stay has been dreadfully dull (unless, of course, the constant lust for the ring is factor). Lord Elrond claimed that he was sending out scouts and choosing the people who would accompany Frodo on his quest. I'm quite sure that he is actually wasting most of his time having heart-to-heart talks with his daughters.
Ah well, another end to another eventless day... Although... Was that Legolas I just saw, running away and screaming in fear?
18 Hísimë/ November 8th, 3018, TA
A most peculiar thing happened today. One of the maidens approached me and began to talk to me as if she knew me. I didn't much feel like speaking with her, especially since her 10-syllable name was most difficult to pronounce. Still, she was very persistent. She kept saying something about knowing what my heart desires and wishing to hear about it.
Strange girl. If she knew my heart's desire, why would she need me to tell her? I suspect she's bluffing.
And still she pestered me with her questions, carefully prodding away at my defences. It is with shame that I admit this... but I eventually gave in to her relentless questioning. I spoke with her for hours, sharing my longing and disappointment. At the end of it all, she simply gaped at me. Perhaps I should not have dwelled so much on the topic, but it was she who wanted to know. She couldn't run away from me fast enough.
This is embarrassing. I am normally not so forward with my emotions. I think I shall apologize to her tomorrow. Faramir has already told me countless times before that nobody enjoys listening to me speak on endlessly about that sword I lost the opportunity to obtain. Perhaps the lady merely wished to express her condolences... Or perhaps she knew of a place that sold such a sword! I should not have spoken about it at such length... but what a marvellous sword it was! Surely she would understand...?
Perhaps not. I will apologize to her tomorrow.
19 Hísimë/ November 9th, 3018, TA
Today, I woke up to a frightful sight. The maiden I spoke with yesterday was standing at the side of my bed, gazing down upon me. Now, I do not mean to insult the lady's appearance - many would consider her fair and I have heard other men comment on her beautiful, glittering eyes. Nevertheless, that simply does not make waking up to a set of bright glittering lights and loud breathing very pleasant.
At least, she was not very offended when I leapt up and almost killed her. She is most tolerant, I find. But moving on... The reason for her visit was to re-phrase her question yesterday. Or so she claimed. I'm quite sure it is her attempt at revenge, and I must say, she was quite successful at it.
It had started of all well enough. She greeted me by my formal title, "Greetings, Boromir, Son of Denethor..." and then it all went downhill from there. Although I should be impressed with her knowledge of Gondorian History, tracing my lineage all the way back to Mardil Voronwë as a form of greeting was just a bit redundant.
After that tedious exchange was over, she proceeded to talk in circles...
"So how is your father now, Boromir, do you know?"
"I'm sure he is fine..."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Yes."
And on it went. I'm not sure why she is so concerned with him. What can possibly be wrong with my father? And then, finally, she spoke her mind.
"Boromir... Did you ever have a partner in Gondor, for when you were feeling the need to...work off tension?"
Ah. The topic has moved to sparring! How excellent!
"Why, yes, of course! In fact, I had many of them! I couldn't be expected to just wait upon one person should the need arise, now could I?"
At that, her face blanched. I looked at her in confusion. Surely if one wishes to spar, one does not have to wait for a designated partner?
"I... see," she replied, her voice shaky. "Did you have anyone.. you preferred?"
"Well, usually Faramir is too busy with his books to--"
She let out a shriek. "Your brother!"
I quickly back-tracked. "Well, do not misunderstand me, lady! Faramir and I get along splendidly!"
Before I could say more, she had dashed out of the door, sobbing hysterically. Hrmph. I know she values family, but there was really no need for her to be so sensitive. It is merely sparring! I feel no hostility towards my brother! Perhaps when she has calmed down, I shall explain to her that I love Faramir dearly.
19 Ringarë / December 9th, 3018, TA
A month has passed since the maiden who spoke with me killed herself. A strange thing... She almost seemed better, until I had mentioned Faramir again. I'm beginning to think that perhaps she harbours a grudge against him... Although why anyone would be ill-disposed towards Faramir, I know not.
Fortunately, one of Gandalf's apprentices arrived yesterday and brought her back to life. And even better, she has ceased to bother me with her questions!
27 Ringarë / December 17th, 3018, TA
This was an especially awkward day, as many gathered to speculate on Lord Elrond's decision. He will soon be choosing those who would accompany Frodo and his companion on his quest. Gandalf will go, and I suppose his apprentices will be coming along, too. Aragorn as well, considering how fond the halfling is of him. And Elrond will most definitely be sending elves along on the quest as well.
I sincerely hope he does not choose Legolas. I have not seen that elf leave his bedroom since about a month and a half ago. What does he do in there, anyway? Write poetry?
28 Ringarë / December 18th, 3018, TA
Elrond has chosen, and Legolas will in fact be joining us on the quest. I still haven't the faintest clue why Elrond has chosen him. He was not even there when Elrond announced the names of the Fellowship!
And Nine Walkers against the Nine Riders... Where has Elrond's memory gone? What about the orcs? And the Dark Lord himself? Never thought I'd say this, but some of these maidens have at least some sense in them.
Now, it will be the Nine Walkers and an army of maidens. Funny, I never realized that there were so many of them!
Well, at any rate, I should be getting some rest. We depart in seven days.
3 Narvinyë / December 25th, 3018, TA
So we set off now to destroy the One Ring. We must look like an odd bunch of travellers, indeed... Four hobbits, two men, an elf, a dwarf and wizard... Followed by thousands of maidens in various arrays of glittering gowns and robes.
I am now doubting the wisdom of the decision to bring them along. If this does not attract the attention of the Dark Lord, what will?
21 Narvinyë/ January 12th, 3019, TA
I hate Caradhras. And I hate elves and wizards even more. Walking on top of snow. Flying over the mountains. Have they no pity for those of us who must trudge knee-deep through the freezing ice? At least Gandalf had the decency to walk along with the rest of us, though he insisted he cannot fly.
Ha! If Gandalf cannot fly, how is it possible that his apprentices can?
22 NarvinyëJanuary 13th, 3019, TA
Someone finally had the good sense to suggest that we turn away from Caradhras. Although certain apprentices of Gandalf insisted on defeating the mountain, Gandalf did not want to waste time.
Journeyed along without any incidents. Unless you count the taming of the wolves in the early morning. Not really an incident, as a group of maidens are now taking good care of the wolves and no one was hurt.
25 Narvinyë / January 15th, 3019, TA
Gandalf fell today. A most curious thing, as I did not peg the wizard as the clumsy sort. As the daughter of Glorfindel fought against the Balrog, Gandalf slipped on the edge and fell into the abyss.
All the maidens were most distraught, as Gandalf was like a foster father to all them. How he ever found the time to do so, I shall never guess. But he is a wizard, and I should not question his ways.
Now, I am just as grieved as the next person of Gandalf's untimely death... but I do wish these maidens would stop crying and howling. How is anyone to get any sleep if this is to continue?
27 Narvinyë / January 17th, 3019, TA
I hate Caras Galadhon even more than Caradhras. I doubt that the similarities in their names are mere coincidences. The temptation of the ring is growing, and I do not like that lady Galadriel looking into my mind. My mind has been looked into quite enough already, thank you very much. Ever since I entered Lórien, her daughters have been reading people's minds like there's no tomorrow!
And I'm afraid I am not quite as versed in Elvish lore as I had originally thought. Large families must be quite common with elves. The number of daughters Galadriel has nearly rivals that of Elrond!
26 Nénimë / February 16th, 3019, TA
After a month of dawdling within those cursed woods, we finally depart. Lady Galadriel gave each one of us gifts... Yes. Every. Single. One of us. I did not anticipate the gift-giving to last two full days.
And again, our army grows, as all of lady Galadriel's daughters decided to join our quest. While I do not doubt their noble intentions, I do wish lady Galadriel could have spared us some of her warrior elves.
6 Súlimë / February 26th, 3019, TA
The Ring's temptation is now more and more difficult to resist. In a fit of madness, I think I tried to take the Ring from Frodo... I think I tried to hurt him. I am not sure if it was a blessing or not, but twelve maidens quickly came to his side, jumped on top of him, and kept me from the ring. Then he vanished.
I should dearly hope he will be safe. I fear that this mistake will haunt me until my death, and even then, I am not sure I will get the reprieve I wish for...
Oh no. Merry and Pippin have gotten themselves into another mess with the orcs! Where were all the maidens that were supposed to protect them? Last I saw, a large mass of them were following Legolas and Aragorn. Another group had been trying to find Frodo and Sam...
I blew on the horn of Gondor with all my might, and hoped that help would come. I fought off the orcs for as long as I could. Then, the arrow struck. And more arrows flew into my chest.
The world began to dim... and I thought I saw someone rip Aragorn away from me and hold me tightly, blubbering something about Faramir. Did she know that I am not Faramir?
Oh... how I wish the last sounds I heard were not those ghoulish shrieks of grief. I mean, I'm flattered that she would be upset over my death, but really... Let a dead man rest in peace.
Next Chapter - The Wail of the Sues: Boromir Returns