AN: This is the seventh and final installment in my Meeting the Team series. It can also be considered a direct sequel to Black Cat, it takes place three weeks later. There is a lot of Emily in this one. Oops? I'm going to try something different with the translations; they will be included right away in bold. Please let me know which you prefer; translations at the bottom or right after the foreign language.

AN2: This one-shot features both a terrified and a slightly bratty Catherine Jareau.

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or Tchaikovsky's The Nutcracker. Alice Catherine Jareau belongs to me.

Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul

And sings the tune without the words

And never stops at all.

- Emily Dickinson

Friday December 17, 2010

Jenny is having a night out with Will and Penelope is watching Henry so I finally have time to finish editing my horribly long thesis. There is so much more information that I want to include but I'm already ten pages past the limit; I really should cut back some more. I've got Tchaikovsky's The Nutcracker playing on my headphones. It always helps to have background noise when I edit, unless of course I'm reading aloud to myself, or someone from the team.

I can't call them Jen's team anymore; she was 'promoted' to the State Department. I think it sucks. The rest of my family is in agreement with me. Will is happy and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I like the guy, he can be really sweet and his presence didn't scare me until I got back from Montréal a few weeks ago. I know that Will is happy because Jen is home frequently and he can spend more time with her, and the two of them with Henry. I can respect that, but Jen hates her new job and I hate seeing her unhappy. I am sure that Will will clue in eventually. If he doesn't, Will's half of the bed will be shared by Henry and I. Will will have to sleep on the couch.

The couch I'm currently curled up on is so very comfortable. Emmy and I went together to pick out a new couch last week; the previous one kept giving me flashbacks. Speaking of Emmy, she's late. I take another quick glance at the time on my laptop, this isn't good, she should have be here an hour or so ago. I hope nothing is wrong.

I rummage through my backpack, searching for my cellphone. Oh there it is; horribly ugly and useless piece of crap that it is. It is five years old and been dropped so many times that there is hardly a square centimeter of space that isn't scratched. I send Emily a quick text asking where she is and when she's coming home. She answers back a few agonizing minutes later that she's fine, even though I didn't ask, and will be home soon.

I reposition myself on the couch so that my back is to the hallway. I'm testing out my resolve; I also don't want Emily to know just how scared being home alone has been making me feel lately. Even though I know Emily's condo really well, in the past few weeks, I have found myself remapping all the best escape routes and hiding places. I've been checking and rechecking all the doors and windows. This is something I haven't felt the need to do in a long time.

I almost wish I had never gone on that case with the team to Montréal, but that only makes me feel worse because then the children might not have been rescued in time. I can deal with what happened to me as long as no more children are hurt. Okay stop thinking like this, thesis time. Emmy will be home soon and then we can light our candles and go to sleep.

I spend the next little while working on my thesis. Then I close my eyes and let myself drift in the music for a few minutes. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up, but I dismiss the idea of it being Emily. She always knocks three times on the door, pauses and knocks three more times. Then Emmy unlocks the door and makes a lot of noise when she comes home so that I know it's her and don't panic or hide.

All of a sudden, there is a hand on my shoulder and I have a flashback to the monster that held my shoulder and then started choking me. I stay frozen for a few seconds afterwards, before jumping up and tearing down the hall to my room. I slam the door shut and lock it before curling up in a ball under my desk, trying to get my breathing under control. Breathe. Keep breathing. Slower. Slow down. Not so fast. Stop. Don't breathe. Hold it. Release. Breathe in. Continue.

When I finally calm my breathing enough to half focus on my surroundings, I can hear knocking on my bedroom door. It makes me quake before my ears register a voice calling my name; it's Emily, "Catherine, open the door. Come on Creirwy (kree-ree). Please open the door?"

I whisper, "Go away!" I know she can't hear me.

The knocking doesn't stop and neither does Emily's voice, "Creirwy (kree-ree), I'm sorry leibling. Ashley didn't mean to scare you. Please open the door. She won't touch you again, I promise."

Who the fuck is Ashley? It's okay. Everything will be okay. Keep breathing slowly. Stay calm.

Emily is pounding on my door and pleading with me, "Creirwy (kree-ree) please open the door. Please!"

Maybe I should let Emily in, even if it's just so that she can explain. I crawl out from under my desk and walk over to my bedroom door. I reach up and unlock said door before backing away and curling up in the middle of my bed.

Emily knocks quietly, "May I come in?"

I whisper, "Yes."

Emily opens the door and walks cautiously over to me. She sits down on the bed and almost falls over sideways.

I sniff the air and frown, "You're drunk."

Emily smiles, "I'm just a little tipsy," as she rights herself.

I am so irrationally angry and I let my mouth run, "Fuck Emily! You're two hours late and instead of coming home after the case like you promised, you went out and got drunk with some stranger. Then you bring her home. You obviously didn't warn her about anything important because she touched me." I shudder and whisper, "No one is allowed to touch me."

Emily winces, "I am sorry about that Creirwy (kree-ree). I did forget to warn her. I wasn't thinking." Then she frowns, "She's not a stranger Catherine."

I cross my arms, "Okay then. Who is she?"

Emily sighs, "Her name is Ashley Seaver. She is my new trainee agent."

I am so very angry with Erin Strauss for her manipulation; she got rid of Jen right after we got back from Montréal. I bite my lip, "So she has taken Jen's place on the team."

Emily runs her fingers through her hair, "I didn't say that Catherine."

I frown, "You didn't have to Emily. I know that she is Jen's replacement."

"Creirwy (kree-ree)," Emily cautions me.

I spit out venomously, "Ich hasse Sie."

Emily turns to me, looking annoyed, "Don't say that Catherine. Hate is a very strong word. You don't know her. You haven't even met her."

I am being unnecessarily stubborn, "So introduce us."

Emily frowns, "Not if you're going to say that to her face."

I pout, "It is unlikely she would understand me."

"Or behind her back," continues Emily, completely ignoring my previous statement.

I sigh and give in because it is expected, "Yes mum."

"That's better," Emily smiles softly at me and opens her arms, "I am sorry Creirwy (kree-ree), I'll talk to Ashley okay?"

I scowl at Emily but accept her hug and apology anyway.

Emily kisses the top of my head, "Do you want to tell me which flashback it was this time?"

I pull back and lie through my teeth, "I didn't have a flashback."

Emily lifts my chin and looks into my eyes, "Yes you did, I saw your face right before you ran out of the living room."

I frown, "Drop it Emily."

"No," she says firmly, "Tell me."

I cross my arms and ver firmly say, "No."

"Creirwy (kree-ree)," she breathes out.

I shake my head, "I won't tell you. You're still drunk. Sober up first."

"Catherine," Emily's voice holds a warning.

I'm so embarrassed. I can't possibly tell her, "No Emily."

Emily gets up off my bed, "I'm going to wash my face and get some water. When I am finished, you will tell me what happened because I cannot help you Catherine if you won't talk to me. I expect you in the living room in five minutes."

I open my mouth to protest.

Emily holds up a hand, "This is non-negotiable Catherine. If you are not out there, I will come in and carry you out myself."

I look away as Emily walks out of my room. I don't want to be here. I don't want to see this Ashley person and I don't want to talk about what I saw.

I wait five minutes before leaving my room. As I walk down the hallway towards the living room, I can hear Emily explaining the rules to Ashley. I hate the fact that my standard rules have changed slightly in the past few weeks. It has been an adjustment for the entire team. I am even more torn between my fear of physical contact and my desire for comfort from my family. Thinking about touching anyone makes me start shaking and want to hurl, but I know that I feel better when I sit with Jen, Spence, Emmy or anyone else on the team.

Ashley is sitting in a chair under the window; I look at her suspiciously and sit on the arm of the couch next to Emily.

Emily wraps am arm around my waist.

I shudder but don't pull away.

Then Emily pulls me down onto her lap.

I stop breathing and I start to struggle.

Emily wraps her arms around me, "Calm down."

I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I struggle, trying to get away.

Emily tightens her arms and says calmly but firmly, "Cesse de lutter." Stop struggling.

I stop struggling.

Emily takes my hand and presses my fingers to the pulse point on her wrist, "Atmen. Beruhigen." Breathe. Calm down.

I follow Emily's instructions; I take some deep breaths and let them out slowly. After a few minutes, I am calmer. So I turn sideways and rest my head on Emily's shoulder. I whisper into Emily's shoulder, "Danke. Ich liebe dich Emmy." Thank you. I love you Emmy.

Emily kisses the top of my head and hugs me gently, "Bitte. Ich liebe dich auch Creirwy (kree-ree)." You're welcome. I love you too Creirwy.

I curl further into Emily as I notice Ashley watching us curiously.

Emily shifts us slightly on the couch, "Ashley this is my little sister Catherine."

"Hello," says Ashley quietly.

"Salut," I whisper back.

Emily squeezes my hand, "English please Creirwy (kree-ree)."

My shoulders sag, "Yes 'um."

"I-" starts Ashley. She stops talking when I glare at her.

Emily pokes my ribs, "Behave."

My breathing hitches.

"Breathe slowly," instructs Emily.

I nod and try to follow her advice.

"I'm sorry Catherine," says Ashley. "I'm really sorry for touching you and for scaring you. It won't happen again."

I shrug, "It probably will, but your apology is accepted."

Ashley looks nervous, "Emily suggested that I tell you about myself, would that be okay?"

I look at her from under Emmy's chin, "That would be acceptable."

Ashley laces her fingers together and rests her hands on her lap, "Do you have any questions for me?"

I don't really want to play twenty questions, "How old are you?"

"Twenty-four," she says plainly.

When she doesn't elaborate or offer any new information I ask another question, "When is your birthday?"

"January 8th," is the calm response.

I sigh, "In University what was your major?"

Ashley's blue eyes light up, "Math and Economics."

I am intrigued, "A double major?"

She smiles, "Yes."

I look at her consideringly, "Did you complete a Master's Degree?"

Her eyes light up, "Yes I did."

I 'hmm' before asking, "Candy or chocolate?"

Ashley looks confused, "I'm sorry?"

I sigh, "Which do you prefer, candy or chocolate?"

She smiles at me, "Candy."

I smile back and take a deep breath, ready to ask my next question. Something smells. I sniff again; it's Emily. I climb off her lap and wrinkle my nose in disgust, "Emmy you reek of vodka. Go take a shower."

Ashley laughs quietly.

Emily raises an eyebrow, "Will you be fine with Ashley?"

I frown in confusion, "Emily, tu ne vas pas lui faire quitter le condo?" You're not going to make her leave?

Emily frowns at me.

I switch to German, "Sie ist eindringen." She is intruding.

Now Emily looks irritated, "English Catherine. You're being very rude and you're acting like a child."

I roll my eyes, "Ouch." Some conversations are best had when the person observing doesn't speak the same language. And an irritated Emily is much better than disappointed one.

Emily stands up, "I'm going to take a shower and when I get back, you will take one as well. I need to change the dressing on your back."

I take a step back and whisper, "Will you make her leave for that?"

Emily frowns, "Creirwy (kree-ree), Ashley is going to sleep in the spare bedroom."

I glower, "That is not what I meant Emily."

Emily extends one hand, "Creirwy (kree-ree), I would never have someone else in the room if it made you uncomfortable."

I don't take the offered hand. Nodding in Ashley's direction I say, "You're doing it right now."

Emily huffs, "And you my darling, are purposely misunderstanding me."

I shrug.

Emily sighs, "Go to your room, or mine. I don't care. I'm going to show Ashley the guest bedroom."

Ashley follows Emily out of the living room.

I sit back down on the couch and pet Sergio while I wait for Emily to show Ashley the guest bedroom and take her shower.

I can hear the water running in Emily's bedroom, so I take a few minutes to observe one Ashley Seaver from the doorway before making my presence known. I take a deep breath and say, "Emily is mine. The team is mine. You are currently replacing my sister. If you stick around there will have to be some rules."

Ashley rolls over, looking at me incredulously, she opens her mouth.

I continue, "Rules beyond the ones Emily gave you."

Ashley nods, looking curious.

I lean against the doorframe, trying to look relaxed, "First, you will never be alone with me unless I specifically ask you to be. Second, you will never stand behind me. Finally, I don't care if you are a trainee agent, you will watch the team's back. You will protect my family because if you last, they will be your family as well."

"I understand," she whispers.

I cross my arms, "No you don't Ashley, but it was nice of you to lie to try and make me feel better. Now, you can ask me two questions, make them good ones because if I don't like your questions, I won't answer them and I won't give you another chance."

Ashley sits up, "Is Emily really your sister?"

I try not to roll my eyes, "I assume you mean biologically and that would be a no. Emily is my honorary sister." I sigh, "Didn't you listen to me at all, the team is family."

"I-" she starts.

I cut her off, "Ask your next question."

Ashley cocks her head, "Why do you hate me?"

I frown, "I don't hate you."

She raises an eyebrow.

I purse my lips, "I hate what you represent."

Ashley frowns.

I feel an unexplained desire to elaborate, "I hate the idea of you replacing my sister."

Ashley opens her mouth.

I push off the doorframe and stand up properly, "I hate that I can't trust you because you're new, you're an unknown factor and because of what happened a few weeks ago."

"What happened?" asks Ashley.

I glare at her, "I wouldn't have answered you even if you hadn't have already asked your two questions."

"Sorry," whispers Ashley.

I frown thoughtfully, "You're close to Dave right?"

"Yes," says Ashley quietly.

I sigh, "Get him to explain it, if he will. I'm not giving him permission to tell you, I'm just giving you permission to ask."

Ashley nods.

I hear the water stop running across the hall. I need to get back to my room or Emmy's before she leaves the bathroom. So I am polite but not overly gracious, "Welcome to our family. Good night Ashley Seaver."

"Bonne nuit Catherine," says Ashley sweetly. Good night Catherine.

Fuck.

The difference between the right word

and the almost right word

is the difference between lightning

and a lightning bug.

- Mark Twain

AN3: Thank you for reading, please review. If you want to read the scene with ACJ and Emily or more scenes with ACJ and Ashley Seaver, let me know. If there are people interested, I will post it as a second chapter on August 1st.

AN4: Having pneumonia sucks.