Okay, so. This is another Deidara/OC. And I have, like, three more after this one. I love Deidara, so *shrug* get over it. Don't hate on me 'because he loves me more than you. Oh, by the way, Deidara's going to be sixteen in this story.

Summary: Leader-sama sent Itachi, Kisame, Sasori, and Kei to recruit Deidara into the Akatsuki. Kisame and Sasori openly voice their distaste of the newest soon-to-be member, while Itachi remains quiet. Kei, however, feels he could be useful and doesn't hesitate in telling the others, much to their chagrin.

Note: Sasori and Kei are partners—and Deidara will soon be their partner too—Sasori and Kei have a brother/sister-like relationship. Since Kei has this…thing with fire—and the fact that she's never lost a battle—Sasori calls her Katsu, which, as a name, means 'victorious.'

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, but wouldn't it be cool if I did?

"I need you four to go and recruit one, Deidara from Iwagakure," Leader-sama said.

"Sir, why are all four of us going? I mean it's a simple task, we don't need four people to recruit one," I said curiously.

"You are correct, Kei," Leader-sama nodded. "Itachi and Kisame could very well be the only ones to go and easily apprehend him, but you and Sasori are going to be his teammates, so seeing as he'll probably put up a fight, you two will get to see what he can do."

"Okay," I looked around seeing the other three nodding in agreement. "Where will he be?"

"He works as a bomber for hire," Leader-sama said. "We have files stating that after he's done his job he goes to this temple," he handed us a picture while still staying in the shadows. Jeez, I have to figure out how to do that! "And stays there over night. His next job is in three days, you have to be at the temple and waiting for him to be there within those three days. Confront him, make the offer, if he refuses, you know what to do."

"Hai," the four of us said in unison. Leader-sama gestured for us to leave.

Walking through the door to the hideout, I feel a small smile appear on my face.

"I don't know about you losers," I said, smiling. "But I'm excited to have someone else to hang out with."

"What do you mean, kid?" Kisame asked.

"Well, you guys get boring to hang out with," I shrugged. "I mean, the only thing fun to do with you, Kisame, is make fun of your sharkiness, but one can only go so far before you try to eat them. Itachi doesn't talk, but you and I both know that he has secret laughing fits when no one's looking," I mock whispered behind my hand, pretending like Itachi couldn't hear me if I blocked my mouth. "And Sasori only talks about his art. It's not fun."

"You just don't know what true art is," Sasori grumbled.

"Well, if art is eternal then you could always see it, and I'm sure seeing the same thing every day for the rest of eternity would get boring. Like seeing your face!"

Sasori—who was in Hiruko so his voice was all deep and stuff—sighed and shook his puppet head. I pride myself on being one of the only ones in the Akatsuki that actually knows what Sasori looks like.

"And you know bothering you guys does get boring. Like Zetsu? He has so many jokes on him, but the white side of him always starts complaining about how mean I was being while the black side of Zetsu threatens to eat me! Not fun."

"Then maybe you shouldn't pick on Zetsu," Kisame pointed out.

"Itachi has some jokes on him, but he doesn't react on the outside," I shook my head. "So it's a waste of time. GOSH! I just want a new friend that will play with me!"

Kisame looked at me waggling his eyebrows flirtatiously. I gagged. "Not like that, Shark Bait! I mean, I want a new friend who…no that sounds wrong too…I want a friend that will mess with…no that sounds really wrong…YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!"

Kisame laughed. "Mmhmm, sure I do…"

"Sasori, how long will we get there?"

"A few," he replied shortly.

"A few what? Minutes? Seconds? Hours? Days? Weeks? Months? Years? Decades? Leap Years? Eternities?"

Sasori growled at me. "Hours! Hours!"

"How many hours? One? Two? Three? Four? Five? Six? Seven-"

"A few!"

"A few what?" I whined. "Minutes? Hours? Days? Weeks? Millennium-"

"Hours! A few hours!" he growled. "Don't make me poison you while you sleep and turn you into a puppet."

"You wouldn't hurt me," I told him.

"And why is that?" Kisame asked.

"Because he loves me," I giggled. "Even though I don't like his art."

"I wish I could just kill you, but no, Leader says I can't kill fellow members," Sasori murmured.

"Hey, you guys talk too much," I accused them. "Let's play the quiet game! Whoever wins gets whatever they want!"

"I can dig that," Kisame replied.

"Hn," is what Itachi said, and Sasori said nothing.

*Two and a half hours later*

"Are we there yet?" I whined.

"No," Sasori growled.

"How about now?"

"No."

"I'm tired!"

"So?"

"Kisame, carry me!"

"Why would I do that?"

"Itachi'll do it!"

"Hn."

"It's official," I stuck my tongue out at Kisame as I climbed onto Itachi's back. I am also one of the only ones who know Itachi's real past, so I pretend to be the little sibling that hates him—except without the whole hating thing. I pretend to be his loving sibling. "I love Itachi more than you!"

"Can we get going now," Sasori asked being impatient as always.

"Itachi's not going to let me fall, is he?" I asked, slightly scared.

"Nah," Kisame answered. "Itachi loves you. He won't let you fall."

"Well, why wouldn't Itachi love me?"

"Hn."

"I mean, look at me," I continued. "I'm adorable!" I giggled as I wrapped my arms around Itachi's neck. "Besides, Itachi's like my fun older brother. He might not talk and he might not get annoyed when I do stuff to him, but he's fun, unlike my other fake brother," I said the last part loudly, sticking my tongue out at Sasori. I'm sure the real Sasori was rolling his eyes right then. "Can we go onward?"

"Hn."

And we were off! Again. We got there in fifteen minutes, all of which I was mostly quiet for. "Itachi, has anyone—like Zetsu—told you that you look delicious?"

He shook his head. "Oh, did you have a secret lover back before you murdered your clan?"

"Not secret, no."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry, Itachi! I'm sorry, I brought up sad feelings!"

"Hn."

"Did you have a sister?" I asked.

"No."

"So, I'm your only sister?"

"You're not really my sister, but sure."

"Well, we're both in the Akatsuki," I said. "We're like a big, dysfunctional family. Except I'll only accept certain people as my siblings, like you, Sasori, Kisame, and Zetsu, oh! And Hidan! Pein's like my father in some ways. Hmm, yeah a big happy dysfunctional family of murderers and criminals," I sighed dreamily.

"You're strange," Itachi told me. I giggled in response.

"Okay, will you shut up," Sasori growled. "We're here."

"Yay!" I whisper cheered, jumping down from Itachi's back and walking through the doors of the temple.

"Yeah, don't check for traps or anything," Sasori scolded me. I paused.

"Oh, sorry," I giggled. "I was excited."

"Katsu…" he shook his head.

"Love you…?" I hugged Hiruko—who shook his head.

"You're such a child."

"But that's why you're here," I giggled. "To look after me and protect me and keep me safe. That's what big brothers do."

"Get into your positions and wait for the target to come," Itachi told us, using a commanding voice.

"Wait, aren't we here like…one, two, three…Three days early. He's not supposed to get here for three days," I commented.

"Then we wait," Sasori grumbled. I sighed, looking around. The décor wasn't much to brag about and the scenery outside was just mountains. Inside were multiple statues with angry faces and one on a pedestal with light reflecting on it from a window behind it. I sighed again. This was going to be a long three days.

*Three days of waiting, boredom, and impatient comments later*

"I'm hungry," I whined.

"Shh," Itachi quieted me. "He's coming."

I nodded, taking my position in between Sasori and Itachi in our little line formation, all business. The doors soon opened revealing a boy around my age with long blond hair. "You are Deidara, correct?" Sasori asked.

"Yeah, what's it to you, un?"

"We're from a criminal organization, the Akatsuki, and we were sent here to ask you if you would like to join," Itachi asked casually.

"The Akatsuki?" the boy—Deidara—asked in disbelief. "Don't know and don't care. Now get lost. You're keeping me from my art appreciation time."

"And I have to take this brat on as my partner," Sasori/Hiruko sighed.

"Me too! Me too!" I cheered, hopping up and down.

"Katsu, come down," Sasori growled at me while Itachi said, "Kei, please keep calm."

I nodded at Itachi and ignored Sasori. "Anyway, he's full of energy," Sasori continued. "But he seems the type to die young."

"It's our leader's orders," Itachi said, calmly. "His talent will be very useful."

"What's he do again?" I asked. Kisame sighed, shaking his head, while Sasori explained it to me quietly. "Ooohhh, yeah! We could totally use that.

"You know about my talent?" Deidara asked. "But how? Who are you? Talk."

"we know you're aiding anti-government factions with terrorist bombing," Kisame said. "And we are also aware that you are a rogue ninja. So what exactly is your purpose?"

"Purpose?" Deidara questioned. "I don't need a purpose. I take commissions to make explosions using my art."

Sasori was obviously not pleased, for he said, "Your…art?"

Deidara smirked and reached into a pack that hung from his waist. "Yeah…" he drew out the word. He dropped something onto his palm. It looked like it was made of clay. "Look. Well, such refined likes and a form that pursues two-dimensional deft ford nay, this is true art. But my art goes beyond this as well. My pieces are versatile. While they hold shape, they are merely objects, but they can also explode," he explained, holding up his right hand, showing us a mouth.

Okay, I don't know if that's creepy or awesome…

"And when it does explode," he continued. "It makes its existence more sublime. And it finally comes fully into its own," the tongue on Deidara's hand…like, started licking its…lips? I don't even know what to call it. "I feel that true art lives only in that flash of sublimation," his face donned a lopsided sadistic smirk. "TRU ART IS AN EXPLOSION!" he announced.

In my head there was some background music while he was talking that I didn't notice until it stopped and it was completely quiet in the temple. Something he said got me. "Wait, so you're art…is like…fire?" I asked, tilting my head to the side.

"Hmm, it's an explosion!"

"Yeah, well, I heard that part, but id there fire?"

"Sometimes, un. It's mainly an explosion!"

"But-"

"Katsu!" Sasori warned me. "Shut up or I will make you into a puppet."

I whimpered and ran to hide behind Itachi. "Protect me, brother!"

"Hn."

"You don't care!" I began fake crying. "My brothers hate me! The horror! No one can understand the immense pain I feel! GGAAAHHHH!"

"Shut up before I kill you," Sasori growled.

"Eep!" I then proceeded to make sure I didn't talk—which was a lot harder then it seems.

Sasori then addressed Deidara. "You can ignore her," I nodded in agreement. "She's stupid."

"Hey! That's mean! Meanie! I'm not stupid! I'm just hyper and sometimes that blocks my thingy-ness process."

"Whatever."

"Just go work on one of your stupid puppets," I mumbled. "Deidara seems very passionate about his art. I like him. Can we keep him?"

"Again he seems the type to die young," Sasori said. "I don't think he'll last long."

"I bet you twenty bucks he lasts longer than you!"

"Do I have to-"

"I don't know," Kisame said. "I think he talks too much. I don't think he'll last long either."

I glared at him. Itachi remained silent.

"Well, I think that Deidara has great potential," I nodded. "Besides it doesn't matter what we want, it's Leader-sama's orders."

"She's right," Itachi nodded.

"And I like his art," I said. "What do you think, Sasori-kun?"

"Disgusting."

I blinked. "That was rude."

"Is he finished babbling yet?" Kisame asked.

"Yet another rude comment," I coted. "Looks like we're on our own with your art, Dei-kun. Itachi doesn't have opinions."

"who knows," Itachi said in reply to Kisame. "Who cares?"

I blinked twice. "Whoa, we really are alone on the topic of your art, Dei-kun!" I shrugged. "Oh, well."

"I'll handle this," Itachi said.

"Oh…" I looked down. "But I wanted to fight him! Itachi-kun, you said I could fight him!"

"It would take too long," he said. I pouted, but nodded understanding.

"Okay then," I looked on. "Sasori, do we have any juice left?"

He handed me a Juicy Juice box. "Is it grape?"

He nodded. "Yay! Oh, hey, can I intrude Deidara's mind to see what's going on?"

"Sure-"

"Deidara, can I please intrude into your mind so I can know what's going on?"

He glanced at me, nodding curtly. I bet he doesn't even understand what I just asked him. I reached out, mentally grasping his mind while still being aware of reality.

I began drinking my juice as Itachi activated his Sharingan. What's up with his eyes? I heard Deidara think.

I giggled at what he thought, and then explained. "It's his Sharingan, silly," though he couldn't hear me because he was trapped in Itachi's genjutsu. "Maybe I should've said that in his head?"

"You wanna fight?" Deidara asked Itachi, not aware of his being trapped in a genjutsu.

Itachi began talking, "If I win, you'll become a member of the Akatsuki," he said, his face stoic.

"That's fine," Deidara said, taking a fighting stance. "Just don't mock my art. That's what my ninjutsu is, a noble and refined art, hmm."

I grabbed onto Sasori's hand so that he could see what's going on. Kisame, who was also curious, grabbed my other hand.

"Now, feel my art!" Deidara yelled as he through his clay at Itachi, who jumped back, dodging the blow. I marveled at how it exploded when he yelled "Katsu!"

I almost answered him; thinking he was talking to me, but remembered that only Sasori called me that.

I watched as Deidara's clay caterpillar latched onto Itachi. I left Deidara's mind, looking at the reality. Deidara was actually the one caught in the caterpillar. He was about to blow it up, when I nudged Itachi.

"Itachi-kun, stop," I told him.

"If you don't want him to die, stop him," Itachi replied jokingly.

I sighed. "Stupid brother. Stupid manual labor. Walking and wasting my effort!"

"You talk big, but it looks like that's all you've got," Deidara laughed. "You're done."

I poked Deidara multiple times. "It's not working Itachi-kun!"

"Am I?" Itachi asked Deidara. "Maybe you should take a closer look at yourself."

Itachi released Deidara from his genjutsu and realized that he was the one tied up. I couldn't help but giggle at the look on his face. "What?" he grunted out. "How?"

"That was close," Kisame sneered. "A little later and you would've blown yourself up."

"I told you he was the type to die an early death," Sasori said.

"Hey," I snapped. "Remember the both of you got caught in Itachi's genjutsu and almost killed yourselves when you fought him too!"

"Genjutsu," Deidara gasped. "Since when?"

"Right from the beginning," Kisame said. "When you saw Itachi's Sharingan. You were already under his genjutsu then."

Deidara looked at the ground in panic, his breathing coming out ragged. He then winced like he saw a blindingly bright light, and looked towards Itachi's direction.

Hmm, I kind of want to dance right now, I thought. No! shut up! You have to focus! Focus….focus… focus…

He stared, open mouthed and wide-eyed at Itachi. I'm quite tempted to go into his head and see what he's thinking, I thought once again. No we might interrupt his little moment here.

What if Deidara's gay? O_O and he's staring at Itachi that way?

No, no. I don't think so.

But I mean, look at his hair! That's a sign of-

No! he isn't! gosh, I swear you're so annoying sometimes!

I'm annoying? Bitch, I am you.

Shut up.

Deidara groaned, holding his face in his hands. He spread his fingers apart and glared up at Itachi. Okay, now I'm really confused.

I said shut up.

"You just lost this fight," Itachi said in monotone.

I smirked. "Itachi, I could've beaten him faster," I told him.

"In your dreams, Kei,' he replied. See? He's so nice to us! He actually talks to us! Isn't that nice for everyone else it's always 'Hn' this and 'Hn' that.

Hey! Don't make fun of my brother!

Who Reign?

No, Reign's not a good brother. Reign's not my brother.

Whatever you say…

JUST SHUT UP!

"Wait, you won, Itachi-kun?" I asked. He nodded. "So Deidara's our new teammate?"

"Wait, I'll be on a team with him, un?"

"What? Oh, no! you'll be on Sasori's team," I told him.

"And hers," Sasori said.

"But I'm usually not allowed to go on missions," I shrugged.

"Why not, un?"

"Because she's stupid," Sasori grumbled.

"Sasori's a meanie, it's actually because Sasori prefers to be alone," I told the newest member of the Akatsuki.

"Yeah, so we'll be going on missions together," Sasori replied, already bored. "Unless, Kei's ankle starts acting up."

"I don't understand why you can't just replace it with puppety-ness," I told him. "I mean, you did it when-"

"Never," Sasori interrupted. "It's a dangerous practice. Half turning you into a puppet."

"Not half, more like one-fourth of me would be turned into a puppet," I told him. Math was my forte. "besides I would be more effective for the Akatsuki if I didn't have a jacked up knee and ankle."

"I'll consult Leader-sama about it," Sasori sighed.

"Yay! Now I'll finally have a fully functioning," I began singing. "Head, shoulders, knees and toes: knees and toes. Head, shoulder, knees and toes: knees and toes. Eyes and ears and ankles and elbows! Head, shoulders, knees and toes: knees and toes!"

The four others looked at me oddly, but Kisame was the only one that spoke. "I believe that it's 'eyes, and ears, and mouth and nose.'"

I shook my head. "Nuh-uh!"

The other three nodded their heads in agreement with Kisame. "Well, maybe it is, but Kei made up her own!"

"Kei, please don't start talking in a third person narrative…" Kisame asked.

"So, when are we going home?" I asked ignoring…people.

"Now, I hate keeping people waiting," Sasori said. The four of us made our way to the door. I turned looking at a certain blond.

"Deidara," I looked over at the blond who was just standing there. I gave him an encouraging smile. "Come on."

He nodded reluctantly, and began walking towards me. "It's only a three hour walk, but I have a feeling Sasori will start rushing us," I told him.

"So is Itachi actually your brother, un?" he asked after an awkward silence. "No, and neither are Kisame, Zetsu, Hidan, or Sasori, but I call them my brothers. We should probably catch up to them." I said, nodding at my team. He nodded.

Five minutes of silence passed, when I decided to break it. "Itachi-kun, can you carry me please?"

"Hn."

"Are you going to do this every time we travel together, Katsu?" Sasori asked me.

"Yep!" I nodded.

"Katsu?" Deidara asked.

"In reference of her never losing a battle, ever," Sasori explained. "And for her obsession with fire."

"It's not an obsession," I scoffed. "It's like a hobby…kind of…"

"Yes, sitting in the basement of the hideout, playing with matches is such a hobby."

"I don't play with them!" I yelled. "I simply watch the flame…"

"We should try to be quick about getting back to the base," Sasori said. "We wasted too much time at that stupid temple."

Deidara looked offended as like he wanted to say something, but I cut him off. "Sasori, be nice."

Oh, yeah! First chapter done! Next chapter is Deidara and Sasori's first fight about what true art is. I'm so excited!

Please leave a review. It can even be flames, like I don't care. Tell me if people are OOC. Like anything. Just tell me.