Chapter TWO

"If you want me to take you into my bed, Samantha, then own it and own what it is between us."

A little voice inside of Sami's head was screaming at her, frantic to warn her of stepping over this threshold. Everything would change between them if Sami let this happen, the dynamic would have shifted and she didn't know what she was letting into her life. EJ was such a wild force that Sami despaired of how she could control what would happen next.

"You're not the only one who is afraid."

EJ's quiet words hung between them and made Sami unexpectedly brave. She took a step closer to him but EJ shook his head. "No, stay where you are."

Sami's natural defiance rose to the surface at his command and she took another step.

"Nothing happens, Samantha, until you prove to me you're choosing this with a clear head," EJ warned her.

The battle lines were drawn.

Sami stared at him. "Why does it always have to like this, all or nothing?"

EJ's answer was simple. "Because it's us."

Sami looked down at the floor, considering that statement. Her body was still throbbing from their encounter downstairs but EJ wasn't letting her get swept up in that thrill. No, he was making her stop and think and after years of not letting herself do just that, Sami suddenly couldn't stop. EJ was the wild ride she'd always been terrified of, not knowing where it would take her but now she knew where all the other options could take her and none of them satisfied. She should have been happy with Rafe, but she'd sabotaged it and she clearly hadn't been enough for him when his eye wandered to Carrie. And now she should be happy with Lucas, the familiarity and comfort of what he offered should have been enough, but it wasn't.

"You're not designed for a simple life, Samantha," said EJ, seeming to be reading her thoughts. "And either am I. It's not our lot in life and never will be. I tried to pretend it was with Nicole, just like you tried to pretend it was with Rafe and now Lucas."

She gave a humourless laugh. "So, what, we've been through everyone else and now we're stuck with each other."

EJ's answer was utterly serious. "Do you truly still not get it, even after all of this time, sweetheart? There is only us. There was only ever us. We're not each other's last resort, we're each other's first choice, only it's taken a really long time for us to circle back round to that."

EJ's words rang true to her in a way nothing else had before. Sami blinked. "So, what do we do now, pretend that the last five years never happened?"

"I told you what to do, Samantha," said EJ steadily, "you choose me."

The silence hung between them and Sami found EJ's face hard to read in the low light of the bedroom but it didn't matter, her mind was made up. At long last Sami could see things just as they were. Her hands went to her blouse as she kept her eyes on EJ and slowly began to undo the little buttons decorating the front of it. Sami let her green fitted blouse slip from her shoulders, leaving her in a black bra. Her hands went to her skirt next, deftly undoing the zip at the back and letting it shimmy down her thighs to make a dark pool around her ankles. She hadn't come any closer to EJ as she silently undressed and he stayed rooted to the spot, watching her every move. Sami's hands went to the back of her bra and unclipped the scrap of lace. She let it fall away and reveal pale breasts to EJ's avid gaze. Sami stepped out of her shoes and pushed her matching black panties to the ground so that she was now completely naked. It was a strange experience to be standing across a room from a man naked, making Sami feel vulnerable and yet oddly empowered.

"What do you want me to do?" she asked, offering EJ control of the situation, the ultimate gift of trust.

She saw EJ's a muscle tic in EJ's jaw at her question. He understood what was being offered. "Undress me," he rasped.

EJ hadn't moved but the strain in his voice told Sami he was in no way unaffected by what was happening between them. She closed the distance between them, careful to move slowly and draw this moment out. Sami came to stand directly in front of EJ and her hands went to the buttons of his white dress shirt. EJ watched her with intense fascination as she undid his buttons and helped him out of his shirt. Next was EJ's belt, then his trousers and his boxers until there was nothing left between them. They stood naked, facing each other. Sami let her eyes drift over EJ's body, unable to help herself from admiring what she'd uncovered. His manhood stood at full attention, clearly approving of this new understanding between them.

EJ bent his head down, so that his lips were by her ear. "I want to be inside of you now."

A painful spasm of desire ran through Sami's lower body and she felt her thighs ache with the same need.

EJ's hot breath was tickling the little hairs around her ear as he spoke. "Lie down on the bed." His voice was low.

Sami bit her bottom lip, thrilling to the demand in his voice. She stepped back and walked around to one side of the bed, climbing onto the covers. The satin coverlet felt decadent against her naked back. EJ moved to join her, staring down at her as she stretched out and allowed him complete control of the moment. To give the thing she'd been holding onto for so long freely away was its own kind of liberation Sami was finding. EJ climbed onto the bed, moving his body over her. Sami parted her legs without needing to be told, her body quivering in anticipation. Their previous couplings had been so frenetic that this encounter almost seemed frozen in time. EJ settled between her legs, holding most of his weight off Sami, but letting her still feel the power in his long frame.

Sami couldn't help the whimper which escaped her lips as EJ rested the head of his manhood against her aching core. She needed this more than her next breath. EJ wordlessly entered her, eyes locked with hers. The need to feel EJ moving inside of her was a powerful one and Sami tilted her hips, inviting him to do just that, but EJ didn't move. Instead he kept himself utterly still inside of her. Sami looked at him wide-eyed as the moment stretched out and out. It was like EJ wasn't just embedding himself in her body, but in her soul as well. Sami lost all sense of time, she had no idea if they stayed like this for minutes or hours. All there was in her world was EJ, inside and out, he was all that existed for Sami. EJ's roughened breath brushed her face as he held himself inside of her and they stared at one another without a word passing between them.

It was the single most intimate moment of Sami's life.

Finally Sami could take it no longer. "I want this," she breathed. Sami knew she was telling EJ she wanted a more from him then just the completion of what they'd started on that bed. Her eyes pleaded with him not to break her heart.

"I want this too," EJ groaned, moving at last as he rocked his hips against hers, the same plea in his eyes.

Sami gasped at the sensation, already feeling a climax building inside of her with that one simple movement. EJ's thrusts became more demanding almost immediately. Sami clung to him, nails digging into his broad back as she felt them quickly pushing her towards her end. Intense ripples of pleasure were radiating out through her entire body, stealing the breath from Sami's lungs as she looked up at EJ, knowing her face was mirroring the extreme pleasure she could see on his. The sound of their bodies joining again and again filled the room, as their excitement grew. Sami's body burst into glorious life all at once, her walls convulsing around EJ and pushing him into his own Nirvana. The feeling of EJ flooding her with his maleness extended Sami's orgasm, making her choke out her release as he groaned into her sweaty neck. When they were done, EJ was still as hard as a rock inside of her.

EJ lifted his head and looked down at her blearily. "I can't get enough of you, Samantha. I need more."

She shuddered. "I need more too, EJ, don't stop."

EJ made a guttural noise and claimed her mouth in the kiss Sami had been waiting for. Despite their recent release it was as desperate and hungry as any kiss that had passed between them. Not breaking the kiss, EJ started to pump his manhood into her at a pleasingly steady rate, pushing their bodies onto the next climax. Sami revelled in the way EJ was plundering her mouth and body, giving herself over to it completely. The sound of her cell phone ringing made an annoying background noise to the sound of EJ's strained breathing as he laboured inside of her which Sami had always found unbearably sexy.

Lucas' voice cut through the air as her phone went to message bank. "Sami, it's me, pick up." There was a brief pause. "Okay, you're not there, but as soon as you get this, I need you to come home. I'll meet you there. I'll be waiting." The line clicked as he hung up.

EJ had stopped moving abruptly when he'd heard the other man's voice and now he was looking at Sami warily.

Sami understood his hesitation. The last time something like this had happened Sami had jumped out of bed to plead Lucas' forgiveness. That seemed like a life time ago and even though Sami felt guilty about leading Lucas on, she couldn't regret what was happening between her and EJ.

"Who gave you permission to stop?" she demanded to know, holding his gaze steadily.

"I thought you might want to get back to your boyfriend," said EJ, a tightness to his voice.

"I'm done pretending, EJ."

A light flared in EJ's eyes. "Meaning?"

A small smile touched Sami's lips. "Meaning I didn't give you permission to stop, mister."

A big grin spread over EJ's face. "At last."

Sami couldn't help but give a little laugh. "At long last," she agreed.

EJ kissed her again, and this time there was the actual taste of joy in it and Sami returned it wholeheartedly as their bodies took their time in finding their next mutual climax.

It took a long time to catch their breath after that last release and they held each other, exhausted in each other's arms. Sami experienced a peace she'd never experienced before settle on her. It was like she'd come home after wandering in the dark and cold for so long. Her head was resting on EJ's chest. "How does it end?"

EJ's hand had been rubbing her naked back and it stopped abruptly. "What?"

Sami lifted her head to look down at him. "How does your joke end, the one about the bar?"

She felt EJ give a little chuckle despite his exhaustion. "A rabbi, a priest, and a Lutheran minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Is this some kind of joke?""

Sami gave a groaning laugh. "That's awful."

"It's not one of my better ones," EJ admitted ruefully, "but I was pretty aroused by that point and not a lot of blood was around my mental faculties."

"We were fighting," Sami reminded him.

EJ gave a little snort. "Like you're not aroused when we're fighting."

Sami opened her mouth to protest out of habit and then closed it. "That's bad, isn't it?"

"No," said EJ simply, "it's just us."

"Us is very complicated," noted Sami wryly.

"That's what makes us, us." EJ went back to stroking her back. "I love you, Samantha," he told her quietly.

The words filled Sami's heart. She looked down at him very seriously. "I don't love you, EJ," she returned and put a hand to his face to wipe away the sudden pain that was there. "I love my children, I love my family, and ice cream and cold winter mornings and I loved Rafe and Lucas, just like you loved Nicole, I guess." Sami looked EJ squarely in the eye. "What I feel for you transcends the word love, EJ. I don't think they even have a word for it. You affect me more than any other person on this earth. You're in my brain, my heart, my soul and I couldn't get you out, no matter how hard I tried. You're my obsession, my undoing, my making." Sami tried her best to explain. "I don't want to tell you I love you, EJ, because the word seems so tiny for what we have."

EJ had been relaxing underneath her as she'd been speaking. He smiled up at her, adoration shining in his eyes. "I think what we have transcends conventional definitions, sweetheart," he said huskily.

"I'm terrified of where this is going," Sami admitted freely, "but I'm even more terrified of not finding out."

"The unopened door," EJ agreed readily, "the one we've never walked through together. We're there now though, Samantha. There are no secrets, no agendas, just us and there is nothing stopping us from walking through that door together."

"Except Nicole is most likely pregnant with your baby and Lucas wants me to settle down and live happily ever after with him," said Sami unhappily. "Oh, and someone wants to put you away for a murder you didn't commit."

EJ just smiled. "They're just trifles, my love. We can deal with all of those things, together."

"We do seem to enjoy a challenge," said Sami wryly.

"We thrive on them," EJ noted.

Sami sighed and laid her head back down on EJ's chest. "Let's deal with all of that later. I just want to stay here for now and pretend the rest of the world doesn't exist."

"At last she puts her ability for delusion to good use," EJ teased her as they snuggled up together.

"Did you just call me deluded?" asked Sami, not really upset. "You need to work on your pillow talk, EJ."

"Give me ten minutes and we can do away with the talking altogether," he promised her.

Sami lifted her head again and gave EJ a cheeky look. "Ten minutes? Let's see what we can do to speed that up, hmm?" She started to pepper kisses across EJ's chest and then moved lower.

"You're so pushy," said EJ breathlessly.

"Is that a complaint?" Sami teased him, lips now against his tensed, muscled stomach.

"It's a prayer of thankfulness," said EJ unevenly as she moved even lower. "Oh God," he breathed unsteadily, "don't stop."

Sami held herself over EJ, holding off his pleasure and just smiled. "We're never going to stop, EJ, I get that now."

EJ gave her an enraptured look. "I think we both do, Samantha and not before time."

She gave EJ a mischievous look. "Now, where was I?" Sami looked down at EJ's stirring member. "Oh yes, that's right."

EJ made a whimpering noise at Sami's first touch and a surge of satisfaction ran through her. Sami felt renewed and a whole new life was stretching out in front of her, one she'd never allowed herself to consider. She was reborn, a brand new creation, the one she was always meant to be, free and unapologetically wild.

At last, at long last.

"Sing then the core of dark and absolute oblivion where the soul at last is lost in utter peace."

D.H. Lawrence

A/N: And yes, I know that last quote is about death, but I kind of feel like the old, in denial of who she really is Sami kind of died at the end there, to be reborn as the glorious, unapologetic vixen we always knew she was. ;)

Thanks for reading. :D