happy birthday summer (all we require is everything) here is a 10Rose for you. i put this under the 10Rose label even though it's more unrequited 10-Duplicate/Rose.
this is my first doctor who fic, so i hope it's okay. :) also, it's meant to be in all lowercase, i was just in that sort of mood today.
and i don't own doctor who, js.
you stop. breathe. pause. run your hands through your hair.
tick tock, tick tock.
you wait.
tick tock, tick tock.
you wait for a man who will never come back.
(tick tock, tick tock.)
.
it just seems so unfair. you went all that way to find him, and he drops you back right where you left off, and it seems as though that's what's meant to be, but, hell, you don't want that to happen. you wonder if the doctor does, or if he really means it when he says that you have to stay.
bad wolf bay. bad wolf bay is your graveyard, when you died, and you die again each time you return, because every time you leave you leave a little bit of yourself behind, a little bit of yourself, only for the doctor.
but he's gone and you shouldn't pretend that he'll ever come back because it's not fair on you, not fair on his duplicate, not fair on anyone at all.
.
he kisses you. he looks just like your doctor and yet he's not, because he isn't, he just isn't. the doctor told you to turn the duplicate doctor into a nicer man, and you have, but still, behind it all he is just a duplicate.
you kiss him back, wrap your arms around his shoulders and you pretend that being with him is enough.
it's not.
.
he should be everything to you. that's always what the doctor intended. his duplicate looks like him, smells like him, talks like him, feels like him, but it's not enough.
because there's always that moment where your eyes linger on him for a second too long, or he doesn't quite say the right thing. there's always the time where you wish you could avoid him and leave him behind but you can't.
he cares about you so much, and you care about him too, just… not in that way. because no matter how much he looks, smells, talks and feels like your doctor, he is not your doctor.
.
it should be so easy to pretend that he is your doctor but he is not. he is not yours and he never will be yours, and yet everyone thinks that you're happy.
why shouldn't you be happy?
why shouldn't you be joyful because you have a doctor-duplicate?
but the thing is, he's just that. a duplicate.
he means nothing more than that, because you cannot see him as your doctor.
.
tick tock, tick tock.
the clock ticks faster and faster, and so does your heartbeat, wondering if he will ever come to you.
you stare at the doctor who is not your doctor and you know that he knows what you're thinking.
you imagine what would happen if the doctor came back to you.
you know that he won't and, yet, you wait. you wait for a man who will never come.
tick tock, tick tock.
no matter how many times the clock ticks, how many times the clock tocks, you know that he will never come back.
no matter what anyone says, you will never be okay with that.
please don't favourite without reviewing. :)