"Hospital walls have heard more prayers

Than any church will ever hear."

~Unknown

Hell.

Living hell.

The angst, the pain, the fear, the fury, the hopelessness. And so much blood...on his clothes, his hands. Her blood. He couldn't even see. The guilt had him in a chokehold.

If he had just woken up...if he was awake...

It was all his fault.

All his fault.

So there he sat on the blacktop for hours, every ounce of strength he had, gone. The smell of blood was so strong, a cruel reminder. Thank god McGee had taken Sarah. There were only two adults she loved, trusted, and looked up to, and one was on the brink of death and the other barely keeping it together.

"We have to go to the hospital. Now." Tony's voice was hoarse.

"Tony, I don't think-"

Tony looked at Gibbs, and what he saw almost made the old Marine cry. He saw the grief in his eyes, the brink-of-madness sadness that brought back horrific memories, but he saw something else. The way his shoulders were rolled back, in the stiffness of his neck and back, in the clenched fists by his side. The way his red puffy eyes burned fiercely.

Determination.

"We have to." Tony repeated, afraid of saying much else, for fear he would burst back into hysterics.

Gibbs nodded. "I'm driving. I'll be damned if I have another one in the hospital."

Sarah blinked sleepily in the OR's waiting room. They decided against going in the morning to just going there and waiting for Ziva. Sarah leaned against Abby, who played with hair and made little braids until she fell asleep. Timmy sat up, alert, eyes dark from lack of sleep and red from crying.

"McGee?"

He jumped slightly. "Sarah. You're awake." He checked his phone. "It's only 6:30. Go back to sleep."

"I can't." She said quietly.

Tim nodded understandingly. He ruffled the child's tousled brown hair. "How ya feeling, kid?"

Sarah shrugged. "Eh. Kinda hungry, actually." Almost on cue, her stomach growled.

McGee stood up and stretched. He cracked his neck and made a grimace. "Tell you what. I'll leave a note for Abby and we can go get something at the cafeteria. Sound good?"

She smiled, her eyes half open. "Yeah."

Tim scribbled a quick note to Abby and left it on her lap. He then took Sarah by the hand and started walking down the hallway.

Sarah wolfed down the deli sandwich with comical ferocity. Tim chuckled. "Careful, Sar, don't choke now."

"I won't." She said, bits of cheese and turkey flying on the table. He laughed again. He picked up a napkin and wiped her mouth.

"McGee?"

"Yes?"

"Is my daddy dead?"

Tim froze. "Sarah," he said gently. "I'm sorry. Your dad...your dad died. The gunshot was fatal."

Sarah nodded. "I feel weird."

Tim cocked his head, curious. "Would you mind telling me why?"

Sarah looked at him. "Like...I'm sad about it. He was my dad and even though I know he did bad things, I loved him. He did mean things to me and Mommy but I loved him through those mean things. You can't just not love your daddy." She looked at him. "Do you know what I mean?"

Tim nodded, all too familiar with the feeling of loving your father even when he didn't really love you. "Go on."

"But...I'm also kinda happy. Is that bad? Because it's over. I don't have to worry or cry anymore. I don't have to be scared to come home or bring friends over anymore. I don't have to watch my momma cry anymore or be worried about going to school and leaving her alone. I'm really happy and sad at the same time. Am I weird?" She looked at him with big, brown, thoughtful eyes, which reminded him of a certain agent that he cared for as his big sister for years.

"No." He slid an arm around her and hugged her tight. "You're not weird. You are both. You are honestly feeling both right now."

"Okay. Thank you, McGee."

"Anytime, kid. And please, call me Uncle Timmy."

Tony clutched his head in the waiting room. His heart was pounding out of his chest as he tried to sway his mind from the horrors he was imagining. Gibbs clapped a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly.

"DiNozzo."

He didn't look up.

"DiNozzo, look at me." Gibbs said sternly. Tony looked up at him.

"We will be okay. It will be okay." He said, his own eyes glistening.

"Boss, you can't say that. I feel like you're lying. There are a million ways for this not to be okay." Tony said. "Boss...I let her go for almost six years. And I didn't stop thinking about her the whole time. If I lose her, I won't be okay. If I really lose her, I won't be okay."

"You can't think like that. You can't expect the worse. Fate does whatever the hell it wants, Tony, and believe it or not, it is all for the better. It's just how you choose to work with it. Maybe you needed Ziva to leave so you could miss her and realize how much you loved her."

"Just to lose her again." Tony said grievously.

"You don't know that. So quit saying that. Do you want her to die?"

Tony's eyes widened. "No...never."

"Then quit saying that."

The doors to the OR opened.

"Ziva David?" A doctor peered over his glasses into the room. Tony stood up abruptly.

"Yeah?" He asked, almost defensive.

"Are you her husband?" He asked.

"No, I'm a coworker-"

"We ask for spouses and then next of kin." The doctor cut him off curtly, and turned. Tony grabbed his sleeve.

"I shot her husband this morning, she shot her own brother, her father was killed in a shooting, and her sister died in a suicide bombing. So here I am." Tony said through gritted squeezed the hand still on his shoulder.

"Easy." He whispered.

"O-okay sir." The doctor stuttered, utterly taken aback. "The bullet punctured her lung and had she gotten here, say, even ten minutes later, she would have bled to death. We had to get all of that back in her very quickly. She survived, but she will be off the job for a few months and on some heavy pain meds."

Tony immediately relaxed. "When can she come home?"

"We want to keep her here for at least a week."

Tony and Sarah opoened the door, and peered inside. There was an oxygen mask on Ziva's face and she was pale, but her eyes were wide and alert.

"Sarah. Tony." She said, her voice barely above a whisper. She tried sitting up and winced, so she laid back down.

"I'm alright, Mama. I promise."

Tony smiled. "She is really your girl. Taking no shit and being a tough-ass little thing."

Sarah smiled, and leaned over to kiss her mother's forehead.

"I'm so proud of you, Sarah. So proud of you." Her mother said, her eyes stinging.

"I know. I'm proud of you, too." She said, squeezing her mother's hand.

"Could I have a moment with Tony?" She asked.

Sarah nodded, and walked back outside, closing the door softly behind her.

"Tony...Ray is dead, isn't he?"

Tony froze.

"Yes. He died. The shot was fatal."

Ziva paused, looking faraway for a moment.

"He's gone...I'll never have to go back there again."

"Yes, my ninja." He said, picking up her hand and kissing it. "You won't."

"The bastard is dead...he's dead...like I wanted him to be for so long. Is it horrible I just really want to smile right now?"

Tony chuckled. "Maybe a little, but I say after all of this chaos, you have the right to a smile or two."

She looked at him. "I love you, do you know that?"

He chuckled again. "I do now. That's all that matters, doesn't it?"

Hehehe. Hehe. He.

Fun chapter to write, definitely. I'm considering doing an epilogue and then possibly a sequel into their new lives. Should I do a sequel?

Love you guys, and thanks to all of those that have been supportive through the last couple of weeks. Life's a bitch and so are some people.

I'm honestly going to try to update much more consistently. Maybe every other Wednesday?

Reviews? Please? They make my day :)

-Vi