Not to be taken seriously. And by that I mean, "Please try not to get too offended..."

Also, I don't own Danny Phantom *cries...*, and, oddly enough, I've never even been inside a Stop 'n Shop.

Sam had been searching for Danny.

Why? Because she couldn't find him, that's why.

So she looked for him...

... and then looked some more.

And then, finally, she found him in his room.

Why she didn't look there in the first place is beyond me.

But this whole discussion is pretty much irrelevant to the story, so let's just forget all about it and start over...

AHEM...

Sam found Danny in his room.

He was scribbling frantically in a notebook and apparently crying, causing rivulets of black eyeliner to run down his face.

Wait. EYELINER?

"Uh... Danny..." she began hesitantly, "what are you doing?"

"Oh, hey, Sam. I'm writing dark, depressing poetry. And crying, apparently." He replied, turning to face her.

She stood there for a moment, eyes widening as she stared at him in shock.

"Is that my eyeliner?" She asked incredulously.

"Why, yes it is," he replied. "I've been trying to go dark... goth... emo. Whatever the kids call it these days. Not that there's any difference, really..." he trailed off, shaking his head.

"So what do you think? I've heard that black is supposed to really bring out that dark, angsty look..."

He stopped abruptly, and suddenly froze.

"Dark..." Danny muttered to himself. "Dark!" he repeated loudly.

"Like the very essence... OF MY SOUL!" He cried, scribbling it down in his notebook.

"Yeah... yeah, that's good..." He muttered to himself as he scribbled furiously.

Sam, who was completely flabbergasted by this strange and highly out of character display, sputtered in disbelief.

"What are you..? Why are you... when did you...?"

She took in a deep, calming breath.

"What is going on?"

Danny simply let out a long, dramatic sigh.

"I... have decided to EMBRACE my inner turmoil! To succumb to the torment harbored deep within the depths of my soul; to FEEL the pain and the angst and the deep emotional-"

"Danny." Sam cut in. "Just tell me WHY you've gone COMPLETELY INSANE!"

He huffed impatiently, as if the answer was the most obvious thing in the world.

"You know, for the fangirls!" He replied. "They really seem to like this kind of thing!"

Sam blinked incredulously.

"You mean you're doing all this..." She motioned to him, "... for fangirls?"

He nodded absently.

"Have you lost your mind?"

"If you think that's nuts, just wait'll you see what I've got in here!" he said excitedly, reaching down into his backpack.

"This baby'll REALLY up the angst factor," he remarked as he pulled out an incredibly sharp-looking razor blade.

"WHERE did you get THAT?"

"At Stop n' Shop. The guy at the cash register was giving 'em out like candy." Danny replied, holding it up and inspecting it closely.

"Man, is this thing SHARP!" he whistled, eyeing the blade in morbid fascination.

"Sharp..!" He repeated. "Like the very edges... OF MY SOUL!" he cried, once again turning to scribble it down in his notebook.

"So," he began, turning back to Sam, "Who says we try this puppy out?"

"Danny, there is absolutely NO WAY IN HELL-"

"I'll take that as a yes! Now is it 'down the road', or 'across the street?'"

"Are you crazy?"

"It's possible; this IS an angst fic..."

"Danny, I SWEAR that if you don't put that thing down, I will take my BOOT and shove it so far up your..."

Danny stared blankly as Sam launched into a tirade that would have upped the rating of this fanfiction indefinitely.

And since fanfiction rating only goes up to 'M' (and since the author isn't a particular fan of lawsuits), the author decided against including said tirade.

"... and if you even THINK for a minute that this isn't, THEN YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR DAMNED MIND!" She finished, slightly out of breath.

Danny blinked.

"Very good!" He said brightly. "Now it's my turn!"

And with that, he turned around and started crying again.

"You'll never understand me! NEVER!" He yelled dramatically.

"Oh, FOR THE LOVE OF-"

Sam's outburst was cut short when Tucker, dressed in some very uncharacteristically dark clothing, burst through Danny's bedroom door.

"Did somebody say fangirls?" He shouted excitedly.

The sound of crickets chirping could be heard faintly...

"Anyone?" Tucker pleaded.

Silence...

"I'm in serious emotional pain here, ladies!"

"..."

"Aw, COME ON!"

Like it? Hate it? Review, please! I needz to KNOW!