This is The CrackFic That Went Terribly Wrong. You know it's gonna be good. It begins dumb…ends awesome… Because there are Zelda people and Sonic people in the same story!

Lordoftheghostking28— or GhostKing—and her friend anabethchase98—or Sarah—were sitting around GhostKing's TV, watching Doctor Who. It was a very normal day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and everyone was happy.

"I hate today." GhostKing grumbled. "Too happy."

By some unknown force, the sky darkened, the birds were all shot, and everyone's power except theirs was blown out.

"That's better."

Sarah rolled her eyes. "GhostKing, come on. Sun is essential. And how did you do that…? I thought your Author Powers were revoked!...along with mine…and besides, we can't control the weather!"

"Rain is essential too." GhostKing pointed to the window, where large, fat raindrops were pounding on the glass. "And this is a good episode." She kept watching the show.

Sarah rolled her eyes but continued watching too. That was about when a random portal opened and a big ball of dark green rolled out, a sword flying out after the guy and sticking into the wall an inch from GhostKing's head. She stared at the newcomer with mild shock in her eyes while Sarah stood up and squealed, "LIIIIIIIINK!"

Said Hero jumped up and threw the Gale Boomerang at her, throwing her into the couch an inch from GhostKing. The Author sighed. "Let me guess…Midna's portal failed, didn't it?"

Link nodded.

"And she didn't come with you for some reason?"

Another nod.

"Ok. Want to watch Doctor Who with us?"

Link sat on the floor and watched TV with them. Sarah finally recovered from shock of being attacked by some guy and whispered hopefully to her friend, "Will he ask me out?"

"Sarah, all he says is random screams." GhostKing said.

"Oh. Yeah." Sarah stared evilly at Link's hat, but he didn't notice.

That was about when another portal opened and Navi came through, being annoying.

"HEY! HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LINK! MIDNA IS FREAKING OUT! LISTEN! HEY! HEY! HEY!"

"AAAAAGH!" Link roared, grabbing Navi out of the air and stuffing her in an empty popcorn bag before taking his sword from the wall and stabbing it fifty times.

GhostKing and Sarah were left sitting there with terrified looks on their faces.

"Ah," Link sighed. He cleared his throat and reached inside the mutilated bag again.

"HEY! HEY! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME! HEY! HEY! HEY! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?"

Link drew his lantern from nowhere and set the bag on fire. GhostKing and Sarah were still watching in shock.

The bag finally extinguished itself, leaving nothing but ashes. Navi popped out of them, completely unharmed, and screamed profanities before crashing through a window and flying out into the pouring rain.

Link muttered something under his breath before turning back to the two Authors. He shrugged, and they resumed watching Doctor Who. Because Navi was gone, there were no more interruptions. Also because Navi was gone, there was never going to be anyone annoying around, ever.

Until the other portal opened.

"HOLY SHEET!" Sarah jumped as it opened behind her and someone came flying through, pushing her to the ground.

"O great Goddesses of Hyrule, I need your help…" Zelda trailed off. "Wait a second…who are you? What is this demonic thing?" She pointed to the TV.

"Uh…this is my house." GhostKing said. "That's a TV. You fell through the wrong portal too, didn't you?"

"Obviously so." Zelda looked terrified. "This is no time to be delaying! Ganondorf is trying to take over Hyrule again!"

"Well, we can't really do anything." Sarah explained. "Doctor Who is on. And GhostKing got herself kicked off the Author Council for a while because she set firecrackers in the main hall. We don't have Author Power to send you back or anything. How did you get here in the first place?"

"I attempted to find the Goddesses. And I ended up here." Zelda cast Link a glare, but he was too occupied with the TV and the flashy images on it.

"Also Navi is here somewhere…but Link tried to kill it and it flew away." Sarah shrugged.

From outside above the pouring rain came the shout of, "I AM NOT AN IT!"

"Eh, whatever."

"So what do we do now?" Zelda asked.

"Watch Doctor Who. Eventually the Council of Authors will call back and allow GhostKing and I some power." Sarah said.

And so they watched Doctor Who. But of course it was interrupted by another portal opening, this time behind GhostKing.

"HOLY FIRETRUCK!" She shouted, falling off the couch onto Link.

"Iblis Trigger! I will destroy you now! You can't escape your fate! You…you…" Silver the Hedgehog trailed off as he stood and faced Sarah. "Uh…"

"Hi!" Sarah waved. "Want to watch Doctor Who with us?"

"Uh…wait…what happened? Where's the portal?" Silver spun around just in time to see the portal vanish. Then he caught sight of GhostKing. "IBLIS TRIGGER!"

"WHAT?" GhostKing screamed before he jumped at her, grabbed her ponytail and yanked her head back. "OW! WHAT THE HELLO ARE YOU DOING?"

"You're the cause of the destruction in the future!" Silver said, taking Link's Master Sword when he wasn't looking. "I have to destroy you for the future!"

"YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG PSYCHO AUTHOR! IN FACT, THE IBLIS TRIGGER ISN'T AN AUTHOR! HE'S NOT EVEN HUMAN! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" GhostKing shouted. "HEY! MORONS WATCHING DOCTOR WHO! HELP ME!"

They ignored her and turned the TV volume up.

GhostKing managed to rip the sword out of Silver's grip and pinned him against the wall by his throat. "Ok, what happened to end you up here? Welcome to Earth."

"…Ow…" He squeaked.

"Kill me and there's going to be a lot of paperwork to fill out." GhostKing threatened, letting him go. "And I have the ability to destroy you by just looking at you. So don't push it, buster." Major bluff, but Silver didn't see through it.

"Where's Blaze?" Silver looked around the room as though she was hiding. "Where am I on 'Earth'? What's going on?"

"I don't know. But as far as we know, a fairy and two Elvish/Human/Hylians have been teleported here along with you. I'm GhostKing. That's Sarah, and Link and Zelda."

"How am I gonna get back to my world?" Silver kicked at the ashes of the popcorn bag that Link used to try and kill Navi.

"We're working on that." GhostKing said. She glanced towards the others, who were still glued to the TV. "Or…at least I am." She picked up Link's sword and swished it through the air a few times, accidentally bringing it down on a nearby coffee table and slicing through it as if it were butter. "Oops…"

So they watched Doctor Who. At least…until another portal opened.

"OH NO YOU DON'T! YOU GO BACK TO YOUR OWN WORLD BEFORE I MURDER YOU!" Sarah screamed, bashing Mario and Luigi back through the portal. It closed. They were safe from creepy Authors and the Authors were safe from fat plumbers.

Then another portal opened behind her and someone pushed her to the floor. "AAAGH! WHY ME?"

Shadow the Hedgehog stood, glancing around with a dead look on his face. "Not again…" He muttered. "What the hell is wrong with that Emerald?"

"What, this has happened before?" Silver asked, horrified.

"Once I was teleported off on a starship. Another time I was attacked by things called Metroids. And both times it was all because of that-" Here, Sarah covered her ears and hummed a theme song so she wouldn't have to listen to the profanity. "-ing purple Emerald!"

"Didn't Mephiles have that one?" Silver wondered.

"Yes. We have to get back and get that Emerald before something terrible happens and something worse than Iblis is released into the world." Shadow stared at the people in the room, finally setting his gaze on GhostKing.

"Oh, no you don't! I'm not the Iblis Trig-AAAAGHAAA!" She screamed as both hedgehogs attacked her. "INFERIOR BEINGS! I WILL DESTROY YOU IF YOU DO NOT CEASE TO PUMMEL ME!"

"She will." Sarah added evilly.

"Tell me this is all a dream." Zelda squeaked. Link patted her shoulder comfortingly.

XxXxXxXx

A bit later GhostKing had swiped Link's sword and was using it to keep the two hedgehogs away from her. But still they found ways to beat the tar out of her when she was least expecting it. So Sarah tied Silver to the broken coffee table and locked Shadow in a closet…somehow.

"What did I do to deserve this?" GhostKing shouted. "WHY ME?"

"Hi-ya?" Link suggested.

"Uh, yeah, sure, whatever." GhostKing made toast and put Nutella on the toast and ate it. It made her calmer… And then a bit hyper.

Meanwhile, Shadow blew up the closet along with the front hall and tried to kill GhostKing again. But she was hyper and on guard and had a sword. So that wasn't the best of ideas.

Meanwhile…again…it was still pouring rain outside. And Navi was taking shelter in the attic. It was sort of dusty in there.

She heard a noise, but thought it was just another bat and ignored it. But when the so-called BAT spoke, she freaked out. Because that BAT sounded a heck of a lot like Ganondorf.

"Mind explaining where I am?"

At first, Navi thought he was talking to her. She almost said something, but didn't. Instead, another, unknown and very, very, very, VERY, VERY creepy voice answered his.

"Not where we need to be."

"What gave it away?" Ganondorf growled.

"If we are to return to our worlds, we need to work together."

"I can handle the pipsqueaks in this house. I'm the wielder of the Triforce of Power! Who do you think I am?" Ganondorf laughed.

A flash of blue-ish light nearly made Navi jump out the window. Instead she came close to tears as the very, very, very, VERY, VERY creepy voice said, "I think you're no match for me."

XxXxXxXx

"Ok, I'll make a deal with you." GhostKing growled. "You don't kill me YET and I'll help you find a way back to your worlds. After we find a way, you can kill me. Because by then I'd have talked some sense into you and you won't want to. Deal?"

"Hi-Ya." Link said, stating that he didn't want to kill anyone in the first place.

"Deal." Zelda sighed. Anything to get back to Hyrule and stop Ganondorf.

"Fine. But you're not going anywhere! No outside communication!" Silver hissed.

"Yeah, who would I call? The police? 'Hello, I'm being attacked by two psycho hedgehogs who think I'm the Iblis Trigger. Get the SWAT team over here, pronto.'" GhostKing said sarcastically. "I think not."

Shadow just glared at her.

"Hey, where did Navi go?" Sarah asked, looking around outside. "I mean…it sorta disappeared."

Then another window broke and Navi came flying in, screaming, "I'M NOT AN IT!"

"Sorry I asked." Sarah sighed, facepalming.

"Hey! Hey! You don't believe this!" Navi gasped. "Listen! Don't look now, but Ganondorf's in your attic! Hey! And a guy with a really, really, really, REALLY, REALLY creepy voice!"

Everyone sort of shut up.

"Ganondorf is in my attic?" GhostKing said in a terrified voice. "Nightmares…I'm going to have them."

"Hey! You're welcome!" Navi said. "Hey! But for real…they really are! Listen!"

"If that's the case…we need to get out of here." Zelda said. "He could demolish this house in an instant."

"And we don't even have Author Power…" Sarah muttered to herself. "Good going, GhostKing."

"Oh no he doesn't." GhostKing growled, lifting Link's sword dramatically. "I'm going to stop him."

"THAT'S SUICIDE!" Zelda shrieked.

"Ah… at least we're not the ones killing her…" Silver muttered to himself.

GhostKing ran up the steps and threw open the attic door, entering into the dark, dusty and very, very, very hot room. The Master Sword glowed and GhostKing freaked out.

"ORCS? ORCS ARE NEAR?"

"No. That's only in Lord of the Rings." Sarah sighed. "And that sword's not Sting."

"…Right." GhostKing said awkwardly.

Everyone sort of pushed her into the attic, waiting for her to die in an explosion of evil-coloured light. Five minuets passed before GhostKing said, "There's no one here. Thanks for scaring the crap out of me, Navi."

"But…but…" The little fairy sniffed. Then she broke out in tears and fell onto Link's shoulder. "HE WAS! HE WAS THERE! WE'RE ALL IN DANGER!"

"Uh-huh." Link rolled his eyes sarcastically, and then flicked her off his shoulder.

"IT'S TRUE! I SWEAR!" Navi wailed as she hit the wall.

"Yeah…come on. Let's go back downstairs." GhostKing said. The crew followed her .

Outside, the rain was falling even more heavily, complete with lightning. Everyone gathered around the table, thinking the thoughts to be thunk.

"Where did this storm come from?" Sarah asked.

"No clue. I love it." GhostKing said.

Link jumped up, his chair falling over with a loud BANG. He pointed out the window, screaming random battle cries and such.

Everyone whipped around to stare into the forest that bordered GhostKing's property. There, standing in one of the tallest trees, was an outline of a tall, stocky man. Lightning flashed, catching his evil eyes. On his left hand, a Triforce glowed.

"Come on!" Zelda shouted, running for the door. "We have to stop him!"

Link grabbed his sword from GhostKing, who ran to the kitchen and grabbed sharp, long knives. "Are you nuts?"

Zelda and Link were already out in the lawn, yelling up at Ganondorf. Link threw his boomerang, but something deflected it. Ganondorf laughed evilly and then vanished in a swirl of what appeared to be smoke, flying over the treetops and further into GhostKing's neighborhood. He probably was going to set up camp in the abandoned house.

"Crap," Sarah muttered.

"WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH TODAY? WHY IS THE KING OF EVIL IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD? WHY AM I YELLING?" GhostKing yelled.

"Shut up!" Silver growled.

Everyone stood out in the rain for a few more seconds before Link lead the way back inside. Zelda made hot chocolate for everyone, somehow knowing how to work a stove. Oh well…she did have the Triforce of Knowledge…

"Ooooh!" Sarah squealed. "There's marshmallows in it! Yey! Thanks, Zelda!"

Link, with the Triforce of Courage, took the first sip and burned his lips off. Luckily, Navi found some Red Potion in his bag and made him drink it. He regrew his lips. It was as though nothing happened.

"That was really creepy." Zelda facepalmed.

Silver glanced from the hot chocolate he was holding to Link and then back, finally setting the mug on the table and glaring at it like it would self-destruct or something. GhostKing snickered, nearly snorting scalding liquid through her nose.

"So…what do we do now?" Sarah asked. "We're no match against Ganondorf…but yet somehow Link always defeats him singlehandedly."

"Dumb luck." Zelda sighed.

"Hey!" Link growled.

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" Navi chimed in. Shadow swatted her into the window.

"Ahhh…finally. Quiet." GhostKing sighed.

THUNK.

Everyone stared towards the staircase. "What was that?" Silver asked.

"It…sounded like it came from the attic. Something fell over." Sarah squeaked. "But don't worry! All we have to do is fling hot chocolate at whoever it is! It'll burn them to death!"

Link rolled his eyes and shook his head, drawing his sword. He began to lead the way towards the stairs. Everyone else grabbed knives or something sharp.

THUNK. Something else fell over.

"Is Ganondorf back in the attic?" Zelda asked awkwardly.

Sarah snickered. "Don't look now, but Ganondorf's in your attic…"

"Shut up, Sarah!" GhostKing growled.

They were gathered around the attic door, ready to fight whatever demon was in there. Link's sword was glowing, fooling all LOTR fans into thinking Orcs were in there. He reached for the handle and pulled the door open.

It was quiet in there. No movement at all.

"Maybe we imagined it…?" Silver suggested.

A box teetered and fell, breaking a lot of glass Christmas ornaments. Something darted at the group…Link jumped backwards and pushed Zelda into everyone else, who fell down the stairs. What could only be described as a huge cloud of darkness flew out of the attic door, swarming the hall and darting right at them.

"LOOK OUT!" Shadow shouted, throwing a Chaos Spear at the cloud. It went right through it, hitting the wall and leaving a scorch mark. Everyone rolled out of the way as it swooped down at the door and vanished through it somehow. GhostKing managed to reach the door first and pull it open just in time to see the dark cloud vanish in the pouring rain.

"Anyone know what that was?" she asked, still on guard.

"Bad news?" Sarah growled sarcastically.

"Yeah, well…besides that."

"Hey! Maybe that was the guy with the very, very, very, VERY, VERY creepy voice that was with Ganondorf earlier!" Navi suggested.

"Yes, Navi. Because darkness can talk." Zelda sighed. "Whatever that was…I believe we'll be encountering it later. GhostKing, Sarah…you have power?"

"Uh…well…um…" Sarah started. "We did. Then the Author Council revoked our power for a while because GhostKing set off firecrackers in the main hall."

"She doesn't have power! DEATH TO THE IBLIS TRIGGER!" Silver screamed, throwing himself at GhostKing and grabbing her leg, pulling her to the ground.

"SARAH! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?" GhostKing screeched as Shadow started charging another Chaos Spear.

"I cannot tell a lie." Sarah said with a straight face.

Link managed to deflect Shadow's Spear with his sword, but now there was another scorch mark in the roof. "Hi-YA!"

"What?" Shadow asked.

"He said, 'Come on, we need everyone alive for right now. Who knows what Ganondorf is planning.'" Zelda translated.

"Yeah, seriously. Kill my friend and you'll have a lot worse than Iblis on your mind." Sarah growled.

"So you really don't have power?" Silver asked. "I should have known! No wonder you weren't fighting back!"

"How do you know I really don't have power? I could be so powerful that one wrong move in defense would leave you dead!" GhostKing hissed.

"Because Sarah just told us you don't have power and you're a firework maniac!"

GhostKing mumbled curses that luckily no one could hear. If she had Author Power to back her up, everyone in the room may be dead or in a coma.

"So…what now?" Zelda asked.

"Well, I think Ganondorf was heading for the old, abandoned house in the neighborhood. At least, that's where I'd set up base." Sarah suggested.

"Right. Wait a second…don't you two have parents? I should have noticed this sooner, but…" Zelda sighed.

"Oh yeah, my parents went somewhere with my brothers and left me here. Then I invited Sarah over, which is technically illegal in my house without parents around, and we hung out and random things happened." GhostKing facepalmed.

"Ah, right."

"So are we going to the abandoned house?" Silver asked.

"We probably should." Zelda said.

SIX RAIN PONCHOS AND LOTS OF KNIVES AND SWORDS LATER…

"It doesn't fit," Silver hissed.

GhostKing nearly burst out laughing. He was wearing a blue rain poncho, but it was tailored to fit a human, so of course he looked like some midget Jedi or something. "Sorry, they don't come in hedgehog size."

"Hi-ya!" Link said, stating they should go now.

So they left for the house. It was still pouring, and without the ponchos they would have been soaked. They came to the abandoned house and stood under the porch thing as Zelda unlocked the door with her power. They entered into the bare and kinda lonely front hall.

"Split up." Shadow suggested.

So Sarah, Zelda and Shadow went one way while GhostKing, Link and Silver went the other. "I'm watching you, Iblis Trigger…" Silver growled.

"Oh, give it a rest!" GhostKing hissed.

AND SO…WHAT WILL HAPPEN? WILL THEY DEFEAT THE KING OF EVIL (Again)? WILL THEY FIX THAT BLANK, BLANK BLANKITY BLANK EMERALD? WILL THE TWO AUTHORS GET THEIR POWER BACK? WILL SILVER DEFEAT THE IBLIS TRIGGER? WILL GHOSTKING PROVE SHE'S NOT THE IBLIS TRIGGER BEFORE THEN?

Find out whenever.

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