A/N: A cute, fun little dialogue-only one shot. Not much else to say, so…Happy Zevie Day! (:
Disclaimer: I don't own How To Rock. Or the summary to Madagascar 3. Or Madagascar 3. Or anything else you might recognize.
"So, what would you like to see, Steves?"
"Hmm…Magic Mike."
"As fun as sitting in a dark theater watching male strippers dance around on poles is, I'm going to have to put down that suggestion."
"I'm kidding, Zander. How about Ted?"
"Madagascar 3 it is!"
"Uh, Z, I said 'Ted'."
"Who's Ted?"
"The stuffed animal in the movie we're going to buy tickets for right now."
"Oh. Okay."
…
"Two tickets to Madagascar 3, please!"
"Zander!"
"Correct, Stevie, that is my name."
"Why didn't you buy tickets to Ted?"
"What's Ted?"
…
"You don't have to facepalm, you know."
"Zander, I don't want to watch Madagascar 3! Its rated G for Pete's sake!"
"PG, Steves."
"Oh, you're so badass."
"No need for mockery."
"Mockery?"
"Yes, mockery."
"Who says mockery?"
"People who are being mocked."
"Off topic, why didn't you buy the Ted tickets?"
"…hghsdfjfjfvhj…"
"What was that?"
"My mom doesn't want me watching it, alright!"
…
"Don't laugh! It's a dirty movie!"
"Oh…oh gosh…Z, that comment just made my life…"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now what kind of snacks do you want?"
"An Icee and some coconut M&Ms. Oh, and a large popcorn."
"You can't get that."
"Why not?"
"You can only order from the dollar menu."
"There isn't a dollar menu, you cheapskate."
"Exactly. No snacks for us, I guess."
"Zander."
"Stevie."
"Buy. Me. Food. Or. Else."
"Or else what?"
"Or else I'll damage certain places of yours very violently."
"…That sounded sexual."
"God, Zander, you have such a perverted mind!"
"I don't have a perverted mind, I have a sexy imagination."
"Nope, you have a perverted mind."
"Sexy imagination."
"Perverted mind."
"Sexy imagination."
"Perverted mind."
"Sexy imagination."
"Perverted mind!"
"Sexy imagination!"
…
"Oh my god, Zander…"
"What?"
"What? 'What'? The usher just told us to 'stop using that kind of language because you're in line with several small children', that's 'what'!"
"Oh. Yeah."
"Yeah."
"He didn't even say please!"
…
"Stevie, why do you keep face-palming?"
"Because I like the way my hand feels against my forehead under the theater lights."
"Oh…Cool."
"That was sarcasm, Zander."
"Oh, good, because for a second there I thought you were doing some sort of forehead masturbation type thing."
…
"Seriously, Stevie, stop."
"Let's just go watch the movie, okay, Zander?"
"Sure!"
"I didn't even see the second Madagascar. What's this one about?"
"Alex, Marty, Gloria and Melman are still trying to get back to the Big Apple and their beloved Central Park zoo, but first they need to find the penguins. When they travel to Monte Carlo, they attract the attention of Animal Control after gate crashing a party and are joined by the penguins, King Julian and Co., and the monkeys. How do a lion, zebra, hippo, giraffe, four penguins, two monkeys, three lemurs travel through Europe without attracting attention and get back to New York? They join a traveling circus. Their attempts to get back to New York are consistently hampered by the Captain of Animal Control who wants to make Alex part of her collection. Once they make it back to New York Marty, Alex, Gloria and Melman realize that they want to be part of the traveling circus."
"…How long did it take you to memorize that from IMDb?"
"About three days."
"Ah. So, where should we sit?"
"Lady's choice."
"How oh so very kind of you, Zander. Let's sit in the front row."
"Why?"
"Because then no human giraffes can suddenly appear in front of us and block our view of the entire movie."
"Good call. I usually hate previews, but this one actually looks pretty good."
"Seriously? I think it looks dumb."
"You're just jealous."
"Of what?"
"…My hair."
"Where the heck did that come from? And no I'm not!"
"It's okay, Stevie. You don't have to be ashamed. We're all friends here."
"First of all, the only person I know in this pier right now is you, and I'm starting to regret having you as a friend-"
"Hey!"
"And second, I'm not jealous of your hair!"
"Stevie, your hair is gorgeous. It looks beautiful on you. But mine? Mine is to die for. Girl, you're face is burning pink with envy!"
"It's not burning with envy."
"Well then how do you explain the rosy color tinting your cheeks?"
…
"Oh my god, you're blushing!"
"No I'm not!"
"Yes you are! Because I said you're beautiful! I made you blush!"
"No, you didn't!"
"I MADE STEVIE BASKARA BLUSH, EVERYBODY!"
"Zander, I'm going to beat you so hard after this movie is over if you don't get sit back down right now."
…
"Why are you grinning?"
"You made it sound like we're going to do naughty things…"
"Zander! Can you stop being perverted for ten minutes?"
"I'm afraid I'm incapable of doing so."
"Can we just watch the movie?"
"Fine."
…
"You're blush looks cute, by the way."
"That's it!"
"Don't touch the face! Don't touch the face! OUCH! Stevie, I told you not to touch the face!"
"Stop whining. You're lucky I didn't paralyze you."
"Empty threats, Baskara, empty threats…"
"You willing to bet on that?"
"Hey look the movie's starting, let's stop being violent and turn our attention towards the screen."
…
"I want popcorn."
"Oh, so now you agree with me that we should get some things to eat."
"Yeah. But how am I gonna get food without missing the movie?"
"You could always steal snacks from innocent bystanders."
"Brilliant idea, Stevie!"
…
"Zander, I hope you know I was kidding."
"Oh. Well, it worked anyway. Of course, that lady beat me with her cane, but at least I got us a half bag of popcorn and a…Mountain Dew, I think?"
"That's gross…what about candy?"
"You're going to have to pull through, Steves."
"Ugh. Pass me the popcorn."
"Here you go!"
…
"This movie is awful, Zander…Zander? Zander?"
"What?"
"Are you crying?"
"No…"
"Zander."
"Well, I can't help it! It's just so inspirational!"
"Are you sure you're a guy?"
"You wanna check?"
"You know, I'm good."
"Aw."
"Aw…? What?"
"Nothing. Hey, don't you think Melman and Gloria are such a great couple?"
"No."
"In a way, they're kind of like us."
"Excuse me?"
"Not in the sense that we're dating, but they're there for each other and they work good together."
"Are you implying that I'm fat?"
"..."
"Zander!"
"I'm joking, Stevie! I didn't mean that we looked like them."
"You're still mean."
"You're perfect, Steves. You're not even the least bit fat."
"…Stop trying to create all these sappy moments."
"Sorry. Oooh I'm getting a phone call!"
…
"What?"
"That's your ringtone?"
"It's catchy!"
"It's the rickroll song!"
"Maybe I enjoy the rickroll song."
"Just answer your phone, Z."
"Nah."
"Why not?"
"Because we're watching a movie."
"And?"
"And those middle aged ladies a few seats away from me are giving me death glares."
"Screw them."
"Gross, no!"
"There you go again, misinterpreting my comments."
"You kind of had that one coming."
…
"Ow! Why'd you thump me?"
"You deserved to be thumped."
…
"Stop pouting, Zan. It's not attractive."
"Am I usually attractive?"
…
"I made you blush again!"
"Shut up!"
"I, as a legal American citizen, hold the right to freedom of speech. So no, I won't shut up."
"You're so annoying."
"But you love me."
"That is a false accusation."
"You're a false accusation."
"That doesn't make sense."
"You don't make sense."
…
"Did we seriously just miss the rest of the movie arguing?"
"Yes. You owe me six dollars."
"Why?"
"I need six dollars so I can go buy another ticket and see what happens after Alex gave that speech to Vitaly about the rings!"
...
"That's your fourth face palm of the night, Stevie. I think you're going to get a bruise."
"I'm never coming to the movies with you again."
"…So are we on for Snow White and the Huntsman next Friday?"
A/N: There you go! That came out dumber than I was hoping, but oh well. Feel free to review! (: And once again, happy Zevie Day!