Chapter 1-Without Me

"It's the programmer," the man standing among the mass of computers murmured absently.

Yuri blinked in reflex, in shock. Of all the things she came for, it wasn't this. "What?"

The man lowered his fingers from his chin and smiled indulgently. "He's been waiting the whole time," he explained. "For a girl he loved, he left this world."

Yuri just narrowed her emerald eyes at him, readjusting her grip on her gun. Failing to come up with a witty comeback as usual, she simply repeated "What?" Then, focusing a bit more, said "There's no possibility of meeting again." But the magnitude of devotion...Yuri thought to herself.

The man's eyelids lowered a fractional fraction. The computer screens continued emanating their sick glows. "It is an astronomical number, but the odds are not zero," he said in his maddeningly calm tone. "However, the time he spent waiting for her was too long and he was unable to retain his sanity." The man's dull eyes swept over the machines and wires in the room like he was making a demonstration. "...that's why he created a program to turn himself into an NPC."

Yuri was in a mild daze. Of everything, she had not expected this at all. "Or maybe he did that first, then applied measures to ensure that such a thing would never happen again?" she murmured.

"It's a possibility."

This really wasn't the place and time, but Yuri felt a tearing sympathy for the programmer of this bizarre world. "Will the day come when that person is fulfilled at last?" she asked, hearing the hope in her own voice.

The man's eyes closed, as if in slumber. "Who knows...? It's hard to tell. I don't know what is right or wrong anymore. However, you, who have managed to make it this far...perhaps you can discover the answer."

"What do you mean?"

"Depending on your own will, you could be able to change this world."

"Change it how?"

"However you want to."

The statement hit Yuri like the security measure placed in front of Anti-Tenshi Headquarters. Could that mean...no, it's not possible...but if it was...the things I could...would, do...

Watching carefully what she said, Yuri said, "You mean...I could become God?" Despite her efforts, her voice stumbled. "Could I turn this place into an eternal paradise?"

The man seemed to actually concentrate for once. "The programmer rejected that option but...I won't."

Yuri couldn't distinguish between what she was thinking or saying anymore. "God...I, this world's God?"

The muscles under her ears tightened a bit as Yuri Nakamura's lips parted in the beginning of a sadistic smile, ending with her throwing her head back and laughing like a sadist at the ceiling. The man watched, bemused. "Is something wrong?"

It's finally in my grasp, this world, Yuri marveled. She had no doubts as far as her ability to have the will. This is the reason why I fought for so long. With the power of this system...I would be invincible.

Coming back down the earth, Yuri lowered her head. Opening her eyes, she said, "I would never do such a thing. Even Kandade-chan...I couldn't do that to her. Because I...the reason I came here..."

The man behind the computers tilted his head, as if listening. "Hmm?"

Behind him, the black hearts turned into full red ones.

"I just felt love...the strongest ever...it's terrific."

Opening his eyes, he saw the fierce girl with the purple hair cock her gun and re-aim at him.

"Because..." she growled, "I came here to protect everybody!"

"Ahh, so you're the source...well, what will you do?"

"Shut down these machines."

The man smirked at her extreme nature. "Are you sure? Have you thought this through? You have plenty of time...eternity, really."

The spark in Yuri's eyes turned into flame, and she tilted her head, a mock gesture at innocence that just wasn't there at the moment. "Let me teach you something," she said. "We humans," -she closed her eyes as the most painful images from her original life flashed through her- "Even for ten minutes...can't even wait THAT long!"

And with that, hard metal bullets ripped at the walls, tearing down the machines and the hearts fell with them, abandoning her weapon when it ran out of ammo and continuing with her handgun. The man watched contentedly through it all.

So, as the machines fell sparking from the walls and ceiling, Yuri spun and pulled out her final weapons; two pistols. In a split second, two silver barrels were aiming down at the man. He offered one final smile, and Yuri eyes sharpened.

Two sharp gunshots ripped through the air.

...

As Yuri wandered through the planes of her mind, she pondered. She instinctively knew she was unconscious; thinking while comatose was something she was always able to do. So, as she sat (mentally) and thought, one statement repeatedly ran through her head.

God is so damn unfair.

For all of the members of the SSS, nothing now stood between them and peace. She had done that for them. She was able to do everything possible to help the people she loved. For them, the line was over.

But not for her.

Yuri thought about her siblings. Her beautiful sisters and brother. The best things that had happened to her, but at the same time part of the worst experience she ever had. She had attained a certain harmony with the rending guilt that came along with their memories. Before, any mention of the reason why she in the Afterlife would bring horrible sadness, guilt, and anger...but at least now, she could think about them and not feel like committing suicide (not that it would do much good). She had achieved peace with that.

But this was why God was so god damn unfair.

Sure, she could deal with the loss of her siblings...she knew they wouldn't want her to blame herself forever. But she would never be able to truly pass on...because of that other thing. The largest regret. Her darkest secret. Something she had never confided with on anybody, not even Hideki Hinata, the friend who had been there from the start.

Yuri closed her eyes. No one can ever find out.

...

When Yuri opened her eyes, the first thing she felt was a weight on her chest. Craning her stiff neck, she looked down and saw Hinata, fast asleep there. Her first reaction was to grit her teeth and think Pervert, but Hinata looked so...worn out that she decided to spare him. For now.

Her movements must have woken him, however, because his blue eyes opened and he looked up at her, grogginess turning into shock and surprise.

"Yuri!" he shouted, throwing his arms around her. "You're awake!"

"Erf..." was all Yuri let out, uncomfortable with the close contact, but Hinata just held for closer.

"I'm so glad you're okay," he said.

Yuri hesitated, then slowly hugged him back. "Me too," she murmured.

And of course, the moment had to be ruined when everyone else came back into the infirmary.

"Hinata, I'm back with some food-" Otonashi started, but stopped short when he saw Hinata and Yuri.

Eyes widening, Yuri quickly pushed Hinata away, making him tip backwards in his chair. "Wahhh!" he cried out just before he went crashing to the floor.

Yuri glanced back at the open doorway, and saw a head of white hair poke its way in. "Did Yuri kill Hinata again?" Kanade asked calmly, blinking her golden eyes.

Otonashi laughed and said, "I guess she's a little...on edge."

There was a minor commotion as a third person tried to push the door open all the way. "What's going on here! Why won't any of you imbeciles open the door?" Then, the pushing stopped for a moment and a voice said, "With the exception of Otonashi, of course!"

Yuri just rolled her eyes as the rest of the remaining SSS made their way by her bed. Hinata pulled himself back up, rubbing his head and looking reproachfully at Yuri.

She blinked when it dawned on her. "Why are you guys still here?" she asked. "I destroyed the shadow program...there's nothing stopping you."

Otonashi smiled at her. "Well...you're still here."

Yuri started. Oh shit...how am I gonna explain this...

She bunched the sheets in her fists and rubbed them together. I can't tell them why I haven't moved on...I just can't.

"Well, uh, how do I say this..."

"I may guess," Kanade began, "That Yuri has overcome her regrets."

The effect was immediate. There was a collective gasp and everyone stared at Yuri, who squeaked and buried her face into the blanket.

No, she thought desperately. That's not right at all...don't make me lie...

And of course, Hinata had to do just that. "Seems like Kanade hit the bull's eye..."

Naoi smirked, his eyes beginning to glow red. "Well, then maybe I can find out with my hypnotism-"

He was cut off as a pillow whomped him in the face. "Get away from me!" Yuri shrieked. There was no way she would let Naoi uncover her true regret...

Hinata narrowed his eyes. "Bull's eye."

At that split second, Yuri sighed inwardly and realized she had no choice. She would have to lie.

"That's ridiculous!" she floundered. "It would be a joke if your leader could achieve peace that easily, right?"

"Exactly," Naoi said, irritated. "So, I'll use my hypnotism to-"

He was cut off again when Yuri send another missile at his face. "So I'm at peace! There's nothing wrong with that!"

Otonashi blinked. "She admitted it."

"Eh?" Yuri said, trying her best to act shocked. Then she looked down at the bed, trying to look embarrassed. If they didn't fall for this...

Deciding to push her deception a little farther, she let her legs swing from the edge of the bed lowering her head until her bangs covered her eyes. "Kanade, you're so mean," Yuri whined.

"You're just antagonistic, Yuri," Kanade said affectionately.

Looks like she's trying to lift the mood. Better go with it. "Good comeback," she admitted grudgingly. Now, time to change the subject. "And...that kind of makes me happy."

"What does?" Kanade asked.

"You called me Yuri...it's almost like we are friends," Yuri smiled.

Kanade thought about that, and smiled. "You're right."

Otonashi glanced at the floor. "Well, in all that commotion that food got wasted..."

Looking down, Yuri saw that she had accidentally knocked down the box of food her friends had brought, its contents spilled over the floor. "Sorry..." she muttered.

Otonashi smiled. "It's okay, we'll go get some more. Come on guys."

As her friends made to leave the infirmary, Yuri leaned back and sighed in relief. They fell for it. While it hurt her to lie to her friends like that, she couldn't let anyone find out her secret.

Hinata hesitated at the exit, then said, "You go on ahead guys, I'll keep Yuri company." Yuri stiffened. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy Hinata's company - she liked him - but she was afraid he would ask her questions about achieving peace and her past and all that. But maybe he wouldn't; nobody knew her better than Hinata.

The blue haired boy took a seat beside her bed again, steeping his fingers together and resting his chin on them, looking up and her. Yuri, feeling uncomfortable under his gaze for some reason, looked away.

"Is something wrong?" Hinata inquired, reminding her of the man with the computers. Ever since she had destroyed Kage, something had changed in Hinata. Something about how he looked at other people...especially her. Maybe just her. The thought made her giddy and confused all at once.

"...No, I'm just tired," Yuri mumbled, finally bringing herself to look at her oldest friend. Of them all, Hinata was the hardest to lie to. He was just too nice.

Hinata smiled obligingly, looking at her in that strange way again. "Don't push yourself to hard."

Yuri smiled at him. Hinata was weird, but she trusted him. He could be an idiot sometimes too, but on the whole she cared for him. Maybe even as more than a friend...wait, what was she thinking? Yuri shut her eyes and mentally shook herself. Get your game together, Yurippe... As if to defy her wishes, she involuntarily smiled at her nickname. A name given by Hinata.

Intrigued by Yuri's behavior, he leaned forward and reached out, shaking his friend's shoulder. "Helloooo? You in there?" he teased. Yuri didn't answer at first, lost in her own thoughts. Hinata realized that the tip of his nose was being tickled by Yuri's air. Inhaling secretly, he thought, Man, she smells good...

"Yes Hinata, I am here," Yuri finally replied, lifting her head. It was then that Hinata realized his mistake.

Yuri blinked, unable to react for a moment. This was understandable, considering their faces were mere millimeters from each other.

The atmosphere suddenly dialed up a million degrees, the air felt hazy, and the hairs on the back of Yuri's neck stood on end. It was his eyes. The way he was looking and her...it scared her and made her melt at the same time...

Under normal circumstances, Yuri's judgement probably wouldn't have been so off base, but these were not normal circumstances and Hinata was not a normal boy. No..he was special...to her.

Yuri saw Hinata's gaze fall to her lips, and she gulped. What was going to happen? They had been like this for about ten seconds now; the entire situation was setting her on edge...

Finally, at last, Hinata's eyes closed halfway, the sight making Yuri lick her lips in anxiety; and he leaned in, just barely closing the gap between their lips and -

"We're baaack!" Otonashi called, pushing the door open, quickly followed by Kanade and Naoi.

Their lips had met for exactly one half of a second when Yuri finally noticed them. Eyes widening in shock, her yanked her head back and reflexively kicked Hinata in the chest, trying to put some distance between them.

"Wahhh!" Hinata cried out, crashing to the floor in his chair once again.

Otonashi, equally embarrassed by what he had just witnessed, stuttered "Wh...what..what.."

Kanade eyed the two SSS members, her eyes narrowly playfully. "Looks like Yuri's in looooove," she sang, clapping her hands together and giggling like a little girl. It was a completely different side of the Angel that even Otonashi was surprised.

Yuri blinked, then hotly protested, "I am not!" she shouted, waving her hands in the air. "This isn't what you think!"

Naoi smirked. "Well then, how about I use my hypnotism to-"

He was cut off and Yuri scooped the upended bowl of food from the floor and chucked it in his face.

"Don't you DARE!"