Love the Hard Way

Prologue

Okay, so this is just a prologue to the beginining of the story. I added a lot of details and really worked hard to make it all seem very life like. I hope you all enjoy! :)

XOXOX

At first it was just soft and sweet kisses on the cheek and sometimes on the lips. That was when we were younger… say twelve? Thirteen? We each had crushes on each other since we were twelve that I know for sure. When we both grew older, like sixteen, we really started to fall in love, but actually it started when he turned sixteen and I was still fifteen. That was also our first make out session. A nice birthday present for him. He wanted to repay me for my present to him the next day… my birthday. An even greater present…. Yup, you guessed it! Sex, but what we actually did was make love for the first time for both of us. Yes, make love when we were starting to fall in love. Kind of seems ironic. And now I sound like Hannah Baker from one of my favorite books, Thirteen Reasons Why. She spoke into a video tape in the whole book and I just seem like her a little bit right now. Weird. Well, anyways we did make love and let me just say it was awesome and that was the best birthday present I ever received, hands down. And that was just the first time. It all seemed so prefect… that is until our sensei died. Then it all went to crap. We kind of split up shortly after that. I tried to visit him a lot, but he always seemed to be so distant after Asuma died. I'd go to his house, but his parents would always say that he was out on missions or just wasn't home. Shikamaru did start taking on a lot of missions; long and dangerous missions. But he was never once home when I went over and that's what really bugged me. I mean he couldn't ever not be home, right? Right. And I know his parents wouldn't lie to me, plus they knew I loved him and he most defiantly loved me. I was able to find him once on a total accident, though. And I wish I didn't ever see it. Because what I saw was the worst thing imaginable –besides Asuma dying of course- he was, making out with Temari and not just kissing either, they were ALL over each other. I could predict the lust in each other's eyes since they were closed and all. I felt my heart being ripped into two pieces. I felt my head go dizzy and I wanted to throw up and get as far away as possible to weep in my lonely sorrow, but for some reason, I didn't leave or even look away from the horrid sight before me. It was so horrible. I didn't even know what to really do, but I didn't need to because Shikamaru turned to me. He must have sense someone looking at him for so long. I, at least, expected him to be either shocked or guilty or even sad, but no. not even… well anything. His eyes were glazed over and his face was entirely blank; absolutely nothing. I think I was going to scream, but it caught in my throat and I just couldn't scream. The next thing that happened was confusing. One moment I was starring at Shikamaru and Temari, who was glaring death at me, and then… well I don't know. My head started spinning and everything went black and blacker and then nothing. I remember waking up in the hospital with a terrible headache and my eyesight was all blurry. I could just picture how I looked with puffy red eyes, red nose, puffy cheeks, make up all runny and my hair all messed up and frizzled out. Yup, like HELL. I slowly looked around and saw no one was around me in the room. But I started to hear voices outside the cracked door. Two people for sure.

"Is she alright? She doesn't have a concussion, does she?"

Oh god, that's Shikamaru!

"She's fine. No concussion, but she'll most likely have a headache for a while." Sakura's voice.

Well of course it's Sakura. She's pretty much a doctor, wait no she is a doctor now. We're all seventeen now and not too long after we turned seventeen, Sakura became a full medic ninja. It's only been a month now and Sakura orders all the other medics around like she owns them and the hospital. Sakura thought she would own the hospital one day, when Tsunade died that s. I heard Shikamaru take a long deep sigh.

"Thank you, Godaime," I just barely heard him say.

"Don't be so worried, Shikamaru. She just fell on the ground, it's not like she went up again the Akatsuki or Orachimaru that that matter. Just relax, she's alright, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," he grunted out.

"Do you want to see her now?"

There was no answer. I didn't know if Sakura knew what had happened, but I seriously doubt it. From the lack of conversation on his side, I'm sure she knew something was wrong, but I knew Shikamaru wouldn't tell Sakura what had happened.

"Shikamaru? Don't you want to see your girlfriend?" I could hear the tint of anger and suspiciousness in her voice. I told her what happened about Shikamaru avoiding me, so I was very glad to hear Sakura trying to get him to actually visit me.

"Is she still unconscious?"

"She should be."

"Fine." I could hear the hesitation in his voice.

I quickly laid back and closed my eyes, all the while shaking. I realized that and steadied my breathing. I never let myself act like this on missions, well besides Asuma's death that is, but other than that, no.

Next I listened. I heard them enter the room and scuffling beside my bed. Shikamaru; I know because he always slouched when walking, making noise. I'd yell at him all the time for that, but never once did he care to change his horrid habit. The noise stopped and I could feel eyes on me. Then I heard walking a little ways from me and a door closed. I then heard Shikamaru sit down on what must have been a chair.

He sighed.

"I know you're awake, Ino," he said. I froze. Shit, he knows me way too well. More than I would like sometimes…. "Ino."

I cracked my eyes open. He was staring at me with his chocolate, swirly brown eyes. I was right about him sitting in a chair, though. And with Sakura leaving. I didn't say anything, nor did he, but just looked at each other. There was so much power in his gaze that I almost had to look away, but there was also some link that seemed to pull us together. Always. I know he loved me, but yet why did he cheat on me with Temari?

"I'm sorry," he blurted out. "For everything."

I played stupid. "Sorry? About what?"

He looked at me and sighed irritably. He suddenly stood up and started pacing the length of my bed. He avoided looking my way as I sat up in the bed. Then he turned to me when I made a small whimper because I accidently hit my head against the headboard. I saw a flash of worry cross his eyes. He then looked back at the floor contently.

"You drive me crazy. You know that, Ino? Y-You never give me a straight, forward answer. You always avoid any question that ANYONE asks you. You just love playing with peoples' minds, don't you?"

Ouch. I was a bit taken aback by his chose of words. I swallowed, but before I could say anything, Shikamaru snorted and continued.

"I can't believe you, Ino. You just always have to play with peoples' heads. And you choose me to be your main target, right?" he sighed again, but it seemed to relax him because he stopped pacing and looked straight through my soul; figuratively speaking anyways. "You just had to get me to fall in love with you."

He didn't say it as a question, but I answered nonetheless.

"I-I didn't make u fall in love with me, just like I didn't make you put your tongue down Temari's throat."

Shikamaru flinched. I smiled. Score one for me and zero for him.

"I was drunk," he half whispered.

"Yeah, so that makes it okay, Shikamaru?" I slithered out and cut him off before he could speak this time. "Drink as much alcohol as you want. It's okay, because I'm sure you didn't mean it and you were totally drunk. It's okay." Sarcasm laced my words.

"Ino…." He sighed for the umpteenth time. "You know I didn't mean it…. I-It was a huge mistake and I barely knew what was going on."

I couldn't help but believe him only because I could see, even feel the pain in his eyes. I know he didn't mean what he did, but I didn't want to forgive him so easily. But I couldn't help it….

"Ino, please forgive me," he pleaded.

"Of course I forgive you, Shika…"

"But..?" he looked skeptical.

"…I-I don't think we should be together anymore," I choked out.

Shikamaru blinked, swallowed and then fell to his knees. He grabbed my hands in his. Bending over and kissed my hands, each finger receiving a small, delicate kiss. "You can't be serious, Ino… I was drunk." He stared into my eyes, pleading for me to just understand. I screamed at myself to just throw myself into his warm arms, but I couldn't and I wouldn't.

"Shikamaru," I barely whispered, then sternly said, "no." he looked at me with disbelief and grief in his eyes. "I forgive you, but I refuse to be with you any longer."

He looked into my eyes and seemed to look through mm soul. Something we're both good at it seemed. He backed away a bit, leaned on his back heels and stood up. He continued to look at me the whole time and never let his eyes leave mine, whatsoever. He nodded and turned his back on me. He didn't leave immediately; he simply stood there with white tipped fists.

"I love," cam one of the last loving things he said to me. "I really, really love you, Ino."

I starred at his back, teary eyed. I wanted to throw myself on him. Tell him I still loved him and always would. But I didn't and after another minute, he merely left. Left my life almost completely. Almost.

You see the last time we made love,… well let's just say that we forgot the condom and I was never on the pill. So I got pregnant with his child.

The night I was still at the hospital, from when I fainted, Sakura ran some tests on me to make sure I was a hundred percent healthy. When I had told her about me throwing up lately, she grew very concerned. And that's when I found out the BIG news.

It just had to be right after ending my relationship with Shikamaru that I found out. The irony in it all! I remember crying myself to sleep every night for the next month.

The very next morning I was released from Konaha Hospital and went to find Shikamaru. He had to know; he just had to. He had just as much of a right to know I'm pregnant with his child as I do.

But boy did I wish I didn't have to be the one to tell him. I just wished that he automatically new that I was pregnant and be done with it all. But no…. there's more than just that anyways. Because we also have to discuss about the preparations and how this would all work out in the end. Will our child live with me full time and just visit Shikamaru? Or will it be the other way around? Or maybe we each have the baby part time, but that would be wrong to put that all on a growing child. …Would Shikamaru even want to see his own child?

Of course he would, I reasoned with myself. Even if Shikamaru didn't exactly like responsibility, he would take it head on. He just wasn't one of those sleazebags that would leave me when I need him the most. He still loved me too! Like I do as well…. It would be so easy to get back together now, but I refused. I still need time to heal. A lot of time.

In the end I found Shikamaru, finally, and everything worked out alright. He was more than willing to help me out. He agreed to meet me every day, twice a day, even though I told him he didn't have to. But just like with Kurenai-sensei, he came twice a day and simply ignored me when I always told him that he should also live his own life and not always be in mine. When he had missions –I didn't anymore because Sakura told Lady Tsunade the news and she relieved me for a year and a half of ninja duties- he always made sure to spend the whole day with me before he left and was the first person to visit, after his missions, once he reported back to Lady Tsunade.

I was, and still am, very grateful of his help, but I still refused to be with him again. Even though my heart longed and ached to be in his loving embrace, I just couldn't. At least, that's what I thought at first, but things are definitely not what people think them to be.

XOXOX

Not what you all expected, is it? Don't worry, I just wrote this like it is to get an idea of what happened before they got married/diversed and such. The next chapter takes place after they are diversed and have their own partners. So Temari and Kiba will appear next chapter, but I do not know when that will be put up here because I am still yet to write it. Reveiw Please! :) Until then...

~ShikaIno1