Warning: NC-17

EdPOV

I jumped over a tree stump, chasing my shadow in the dusk. I was afraid to stay and pressure Jacob too much, push him in the wrong direction until I finally lost him.

I was running away from a direct confrontation, allowing time to cool the moment which was fraught with tension; trying not to succumb to Jacob's anguish and return to his side. Leaping high over a boulder, I grabbed purchase upon a sturdy limb and used it to pull myself up, looping my legs around the trunk and then pushing up with the back of my hands into the cloudy sky.

Gazing at the thick canopies of the oaks in front of me, I shivered at the faraway snapping sound of Jacob's tendons and bones rearranging themselves just as fluidly as the wolf had twisted my life around his little finger.

The rough bark of the limb under me provided traction as I propelled myself onto the next tree, my mind assaulted by Jacob's pain. Though I was tempted to go back and soothe his worries, I had to allow Jacob the space to calm down by himself.

My inner voice, which sounded like Emmett these days, accused me of cowardice.

Having traversed the forest, I approached the house. The windows shined brightly under the shrouded moon, a regularity that broke the chaos of the woods and made me grimace.

The neat arrangement of our house reminded me of the symmetry of my own devising which threatened my love life.

When I faced the possibility of Bella avenging herself on Jacob and killing him, I did my utmost to protect him. I realized quickly the only force able to balance Bella's juggernaut was the Volturi. I sought to enlist their help, even though I knew Jacob would be emotionally and physically vulnerable.

Providentially, Emmet was willing and able to protect my wolf. I returned to Italy once more, leaving Jacob on Emmett's capable hands.

And history repeated itself when Jacob found solace with Emmett, just like Bella once found succor in the wolf.

In the Volturi catacombs, when Jacob confronted Aro and the others, I couldn't help but notice the way his body relaxed around Emmett; this comfort was echoed in the set of their minds. They were keen to develop their burgeoning relationship.

This new triangle was a threat because Jacob wouldn't react like Bella. He didn't have it in him to play Emmett and keep him on a limb. The moment Jacob realized Emmett's feelings were real, my wolf's sense of fairness would prevail. He might leave me.

So I counteracted by easing them into the threesome. It was easy to succumb to the attraction I felt for Emmett; through the long decades, he had been a constant source of strength and light.

The remembrance of Jake's anguished howling tore at me as I jumped down from the trees to make my way through the lawn. The sound of his pain was etched onto my brain, just like his thoughts tormented me, faint with distance.

In taking the bull by the horns to make the most of our dilemma, we had succeeded brilliantly. I found my equals in the heat of battle. Emmett's brawn and intelligence was a central piece of our victory; Jacob's defiance was a thrill, cloaked as it was in such an appealing package.

My jaws clenched when I remembered the sight of them back to back, standing tall in the midst of the newborn army as they fought like warriors of yore.

I knew I would find no better mates, and the promise that began in the dance under the moonlight came to fruition, only to crumble under the stress of coming home.

oOoOo

Heaving a deep sigh, I walked up to the house whose bright lights failed to displace the darkness I felt encroaching upon me. Then I frowned at the thoughts coming from within as I cursed softly under my breath.

A real estate agent was evaluating the property.

Clenching my fingers around the doorknob, I fought to control my anger. Carlisle and Esme couldn't just sell the house! It was the place where Jake and I made love for the first time.

Furthermore, we needed a base of operations near the Quileute Reservation, a place where Jacob would feel at home and stay in contact with his pack.

If he decided to stay with me, that is.

My best smile settled around my lips while I brushed my fingers through my hair, intent on playing the realtor like a violin. I quickly dismissed the guilt coloring my thoughts, for there was nothing I wouldn't do to keep Jacob.

"Good night." I sauntered through the entrance, letting the keys clank loudly on the table for effect. "I'm Edward Cullen, and who might you be?"

"Karen Sotchi. I'm Associate Manager in Forks Real Estate." She brushed aside a curl of her black hair and shot me a confident grin. "I'm very sorry, sir. Esme told me there would be no one at the house, and since I have a busy schedule, I decided to come here and look things over. See if anything needs fixing, which of course is completely unnecessary. This house is perfect!"

"Don't worry, Ms. Sotchi." I made my way to the couch and plopped down, fishing the phone from my jacket as I crossed my legs. "My parents haven't told me they're selling the house; I'm sure there's been a mistake. Let me call my mother."

I swiped my thumb over the screen of my phone, wondering what the Government agents listening in on my calls would make of it. I didn't care at the moment, though; more important concerns weighed heavily on my mind.

Esme's smooth voice came over the phone as I cupped it to my ear. "Hello!"

"Hi, mom. It's Edward," I said for the benefit of the visitor. "It seems there's been a misunderstanding, a realtor is at the house and…"

"Oh, I see! Please do not worry, Edward. Carlisle and I were just weighing our options. I take it that you, Emmett, and Jacob will stay in Forks?"

"Yes," I said with more confidence than I felt.

"Let me speak to Karen."

While Esme and Karen made small talk, I made my way to the kitchen. I opened the cupboard and jostled the glasses together; the clinking sound made it seem as if I was drinking water, finally I made my way back to the open door.

"Mr. Cullen, your mother made it clear she and her husband don't intend to sell," she told me as I leaned on the threshold.

"I'm sorry," I said insincerely.

"No, I'm sorry to have bothered you, Mr. Cullen. It's all in a day's work," she mumbled while she walked up to me and handed me the phone. She picked up her briefcase, and I noticed she kept brushing her fingers across the waist of her black pencil skirt.

As I walked her to the door, I thought about the future. If we got our act together, it would be nice to get a place of our own, a nice house like Esme's cottage.

"I might want to engage your services, Ms. Sotchi," I said with a smile. "I'm looking for something small and intimate near the woods, like a cottage."

"Is that so?" She tucked her hand in the pocket of her jacket and pulled out a card which she pressed onto my palm. "This comes at the perfect moment! I know several properties that meet your requirements. Do give me a call if you want to visit them, Mr. Cullen!"

"I sure will."

oOoOo

I worked on the desktop computer for a while, trying to trace out the ramifications of the tulpa idea. The e-books I consulted came up short; I was about to Goggle the terms when I recalled Alice's chilling words about the Government having access to everything we did.

I glared at the screen and finally pushed the keyboard away from me. The truth was I couldn't concentrate worth a damn!

I needed to see Jacob's winsome smile, feel his heat warming up my body and hear his sarcastic replies. I missed Emmett's cheerful buoyancy; mired in his current doubts, his levity was deflated.

I pushed the chair away from the desk and stood up, ready to go into the woods and find Emmett. If we just talked, we would figure a way out of our impasse; Emmett was always good for the quirky insight which blossomed into cogent plans.

I heard the tires scratching as Esme's car pulled up on the driveway, though.

I nodded to her as she walked into the den, flashing a warm smile.

"Edward! It's so good to see you!"

"Hello, Esme. Great to see you again!" I shook my head fondly. What was it about Esme's grin that made me cool down and think that everything would turn out right in the end?

I crossed my arms while she glanced around at the room. The confident set of her mind told me that despite the absence of our family, she wasn't unduly worried.

I wished I had the same poise to tackle our problems.

"Where's dear Jacob, and Emmett? I thought they were with you."

"We… had a fight."

She brushed her hair off her forehead and made her way into the kitchen. At the threshold, she glanced back and motioned with her hand. "Come on then, let's talk."

I walked sullenly into the brightly lit kitchen while Esme went to the pantry, opening the door to pull out ingredients.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to cook Jacob's favorite stew. I happened to meet Leah in downtown Forks, and gently coaxed her into giving me the recipe."

"Really?" I said with a hint of doubt. Leah didn't seem to be the kind of girl that slaved away in the kitchen.

"Well, she gave me her mother's phone number." Esme opened a drawer and fished out an apron. "And Sue Clearwater proved most cooperative."

"That's interesting."

She grinned at me on her way to the fridge, where she pulled out a plastic box filled with meat. "It's not that hard to cook, you know? Sue's recipe is similar to a Brazilian stew which the caretaker used to fix at the island."

I nodded sullenly. "The one Carlisle bought for you?"

"Exactly. The woman was a powerhouse, let me tell you! She used to chatter all the time about the superstitions of her relatives in the wetlands. Some of them are true, though." She went to the fridge and came back with several containers filled with vegetables.

"What do you mean?"

"The stories they tell mention jungle people that can fool your senses, create a web of illusions so thick you can't find your way out. They weave it around you like a cage to entrap you and drink your blood."

"Sounds like one of our own," I said disinterestedly.

"We've met her, I think. Remember that hunting trip we took to Brazil in the Forties?"

"During the war?"

"No, it was afterwards," she said. "I seem to recall they had suspended rationing."

I leaned on the gleaming counter, and nodded. "I remember she was called Zafrina. That is pretty interesting tale," I said politely, not caring for the happenings in far away Brazil at the moment.

Esme's hands moved in a blur as she cut the vegetables with precision that would make surgeons green with envy. "In that trip, Carlisle found the island and fell in love with it."

"You shouldn't bother cooking." I pointed out. "Jacob won't come. We had a disagreement."

"Well, I'm sure you boys will find your way together! You were so close in Volterra." She sighed as she put the diced vegetables on a pot and turned on the stove. Her mind sketched the defiant image of Jake hurling insults at Bella and her newborn army; refusing to concede defeat or choose between Emmett and me.

My chest filled with pride at the handsome image of my loved ones. But then I recalled our fight in the plane and my mood sank down.

"Frankly, I doubt it." I shook my head ruefully.

"Tell me about it, then."

I hooked my foot around the leg of a chair and pulled it towards me, sitting down with a sigh as I began to unburden my woes.

"Things were great in Italy, but we had to come home. Jake needs the pack to draw strength from."

"So?" She said, her wooden spoon stirring alternately the vegetables and the boiling meat.

"There was a fight on the plane. I guess we were all fidgety about the news of Bella possibly being alive." It was as if a dam broke, and my words rushed out as I told her about the unsettling photo of Bella in Rio, our unease reaching a climax after Alice's phone call.

"I don't see what's the problem, Edward." Esme let the vegetables simmer for a while and glanced at the meat, wiping her hands on her apron. "You boys have faced greater risks."

"It's Jacob's mind." I sought to pour my unease into words, those thoughts I couldn't just share with Jacob because they might drive him away. "Our wolf isn't quite aware of it, but the heft of his thoughts changed during the flight. He became more serious, as if he was leaving the carefree days in Tuscany behind."

"And what do you think about it?"

"I'm afraid that he will wake up, and the intense romance between the three of us that flourished in Italy will wither and die here."

"Why would you say that, Edward? I could see by the way Jacob looked at you how much he cares for you."

Leaning my elbows on the table, I tilted down my chin and closed my eyes, remembering what happened during the flight.

"Jacob fell asleep on the plane, Esme. He had a dream in which he was fleeing the Volturi in wolf form, carrying a child on his back."

She nodded intently while she forked a piece of meat and held it up, measuring its tenderness. "I'm sure there's more to it, judging by your expression."

"He had imprinted on the little girl, Esme." My voice wavered slightly as I looked at her. "She was all Jacob cared about; the center around which his world revolved, his memories of Emmett and I muted, almost dead."

"I see." Esme shot me a worried look while she deftly cut the meat in tiny pieces, notwithstanding the intense heat coming from the stove. Whenever she was particularly worried about something, Esme went to the kitchen to fix food. It was her release, just like the piano for me.

"The Quileutes place a great importance on visions and dreams," I said, recalling the encounters with Ephraim Black that led to our signing the Treaty. "What if his dream is prophetic? What assurance do I have that Jake won't imprint on someone, and forget about us?"

"Excuse me if I sound blunt, Edward," she said. "But you've known all along that Jacob may imprint. Can you tell me what really brought this concern to the forefront of your mind?"

"Aside from the dream?" I shrugged. "I fear I'm losing him. Jacob's faithful and loving, too good to be true. I want to always protect him, even if he should…"

"Imprint?"

"Yes. This need to ensure his safety is the reason I went to the Volturi court to seek their help against Bella. It was unbearable to contemplate the thought of Jacob dying at her hands."

"You've always been protective of the ones you love." She shot me a warm smile. "It is your strength."

"It's also a weakness. It created the situation that led to Emmett being involved."

"You fear Emmett will take Jacob away from you?" She said as if she could read my innermost thoughts. Esme had always had the uncanny ability to detect what was bothering me.

"I care a great deal for Emmett," I said fiercely. "He is the strong rhythm, the chords that keep the melody together while Jake is the upbeat that foreshadows the buoyant end of the piece. But…"

She motioned with her hands, urging me on as she went towards the spice rack to grab several jars which she opened on the spotless kitchen island.

"When I see Emmett and Jake together, it strikes me how perfectly they fit." I tilted down my chin, staring intently at the counter. "They're so full of life, so engaged in the world."

"And you feel left out?"

"Given their zest, why would they need someone as somber as me?"

"Because of your intensity and passion, Edward; the feeling that imbues everything you do!" She twirled the jars with consummate precision, pouring the exact amount of spices into the pot. I noted the way the scents blended together but it called up no hunger in me.

"How do you do that?" I pointed at the stew which was simmering nicely. "How do you know how much spice to add?"

"I can't really say. I guess it's a mixture, Edward." Esme stopped and glanced down at the stove, her eyebrows puzzling in thought. "I recall the delightful taste of the morsels upon my tongue before I was turned; and I hold on to the hope that this memory remains true - that people will enjoy the food."

I smiled feebly at that. Esme's faith buoyed me up; she didn't entertain the thought that the food she was cooking would go to waste. She was sure Jacob would come to eat it, and her confidence infected me for a while.

oOoOo

Afterwards I went upstairs to the piano room, a place full of memories which haunted me. The thought of composing Bella's melody, which once filled me with pride, now lay heavy on my mind.

I sat on the bench and my fingers started playing Chopin's Etude, the somber piece fitting my mood exactly; but no matter how much I coaxed the melody out of cold metal and wood, my mood remained the same.

The echoes around the empty room mocked me, hinting at loneliness and lost love.

My fingers lovingly brushed the wood cover before I let it fall down with a loud clank, as the soothing stream of Carlisle's thoughts entered my mind.

He strolled into the room, raising his eyebrows at seeing me slouched upon the piano bench.

"Esme told me you had come home."

"I'm afraid it wasn't the exuberant homecoming we all expected, Carlisle. Things spiraled out of control just when we thought we were out of the woods."

"Your words trouble me, son." Carlisle sat down on the other bench and steepled his fingers, his stance conveying reassurance.

"There was disagreement between us, and sitting in this room reminds me how empty the house feels."

"I know, Edward. It's hard to get used to the loneliness. That's why Esme and I contemplated the idea of selling it."

"If you do, I will buy another property around Forks," I whispered.

"We won't if you don't want us to. It's just that with Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice gone…" He glanced at the door at the corridor that led to Alice's room.

"Do you have any idea where she is?"

"No, son. She called Esme and told her she was with Jasper, but I have no inkling where she is."

"It's strange she wasn't with Bella in Italy; after all, it was her who started the ball rolling by turning Bella and unlocking her strange powers," I said in a low voice. "It seems like Alice didn't really care about her."

"You have to remember Alice's thinking tends to be strategical. It might be that the battle seemed a minor thing to her, given her powers. She would choose to protect what was more vital for her."

"But Bella died, and she wasn't there. She should have foreseen it; her visions seemed to be working perfectly fine when she called me on the phone."

"Esme told me. What are your impressions?"

"Alice was eerily calm; far more concerned with the Government knowing about us than the fact that Bella had died at our hands."

"You must bear in mind that Alice tends to take the much longer view."

oOoOo

At the crack of dawn, having spent a restless night trying and failing to read a number of books, I made my way out of the house.

My original purpose was to look for Emmett, but my feet inexorably guided me to the Quileute border.

In this tangled relationship we had woven, Jacob held the reins. If he wanted me to leave him alone, I would. If he imprinted, it would break my heart but I would be forced to accept it.

I stood there for a while, the faint scent of wolf in the distance causing desire to pool in my groin. I searched for a thick tree so I would be able to jerk off to relieve this maelstrom of lust and desire that enveloped me.

I had spent decades without thinking much about sex, until Bella showed up with Jacob in tow. Bella made me feel protective, able to exert an iron control to grapple with the relentless desire to drink the blood of my Singer.

But Jacob destroyed the tight dam that contained my desires with a flick of his fingers. All it took was a flash of his boyish grin in the dark tent, and his smooth skin bathed by moonlight as we danced on the snow.

I rested my back on a slim pine and lowered my zipper, grabbing my cock. Swiping my thumb along the wet crown, I cradled my shaft which throbbed at the remembrance of Jake's tight heat around me, the way he squeezed me, and how hot he looked while Emmett manhandled him and made him sit on his cock. I groaned at the remembrance of Jacob's forceful thrusts as he impaled Emmett, reverberating inside my walls as Emmett fucked me.

Lowering my chin, I gazed at the blur my hand made as it slid up and down my glistening dick. I was so close to coming I could taste it. I closed my eyes and recalled the raunchy words he spoke to Emmett which made me veer off the road in Tuscany.

The imagery of Jacob on his knees as he sucked Emmett and me proved too much. I came with a muffled shout, my seed coating my fingers. I lifted my hand and lapped at my palm, wishing it was Jacob I was tasting.

I was so absorbed in my erotic revelry that I didn't notice the roar of the bike until it crossed the highway a mile ahead. I tucked my softening dick inside my pants before giving chase, glancing up the road at Jacob's helmeted figure before he reached the crossroads, taking the fork of the road that led farther into the woods.

Jacob's aroused scent hit me fast, my cock throbbing in sympathy. A second later the wave of his thoughts wrapped around my mind like a mournful echo.

Jacob wasn't thinking of us at all!

Was he going to meet a guy who would make love to him? I swallowed heavily at the thought that my fears might have been realized and he was acting under the duress of the imprint.

I rushed after him, taking care to remain unnoticed. If Jacob was on his way to a tryst, I would not able to contain myself because jealousy filled me to the brim.

tbc