A/N: So I watched The Amazing Spider-Man last night and this would not let go of my brain until it was completed at 3 in the morning. The entire plotline gave me feelings and this may or may not be a stand-alone work, we'll see. Either way, in case you don't know Smartass Family is something that's been floating around tumblr, joking of a family situation between Tony, Loki, and Peter. This is my funny little take on it. I took a few liberties on timelines as well, but seeing as I wrote this overnight, I do hope you'll excuse that. There's also a gratuitous amount of Uncle Steve in here and I'm not sorry.

I sincerely hope you enjoy and the obligatory disclaimer of not owning anything goes right here.

There are no accidents.

Or at least, that's what they said.

Peter still wasn't sure that he believed it, not when it was unlucky coincidences that made so much happen to him. If the basement hadn't had that unlucky coincidence of a flood that day, he would've never found his father's satchel. If he hadn't been bitten by that spider by an unlucky coincidence, he never would've reached this level of superhero as opposed to average sometimes hero that ultimately failed once he got punched in the face for being a smartass. If he hadn't had the unlucky coincidence of being in a bad mood, maybe Uncle Ben would've—

But that's where that train of thought ended. Unlucky coincidences. Accidents.

Yet people thwarted him still, staying that coincidences didn't exist either.

Before he had laughed, because if people just kept saying that these things didn't exist, then why would there be words for them? Are they really invalidating years and years of observation and then the inclusion of these words in a dictionary? Why are they taking away this self-defense mechanism that people clung onto for their sanity?

Or maybe that was just him being a smartass again.

He wasn't really sure.

What he was sure of, however, was that his life was pretty much on course to change starting with one incident in the office of one (1) Tony Stark.

It was some time after what was openly declared an alien attack – and to be honest, it was a little grating that the two weeks he was out on an international internship was when the attack was timed because really? – that he'd entered the tycoon's office. Peter had moved from internship to internship now, trying to get his foot in the door of engineering work just to see if he could improve on his home-built tech and somehow landed himself a paid two months at Stark Industries.

He'd climbed the ranks until he realized that he was more or less at the level that Gwen was at when she was at Oscorp (and her name still sent a small pang right into his chest cavity) and that was why he was granted access into Mr. Stark's personal office.

What he knew of the man was vast and simultaneously entertaining since there would be the occasional Iron Man-inspired portrait in the halls of Stark Tower, but hey, Peter could appreciate a little ego. It was more interesting to Peter that Miss Potts was normally the one he reported to, but this morning there had been a notice sent out that finally, Mr. Stark himself would be showing up in the levels of the tower that were meant for business as opposed to his penthouse suite.

Considering that he'd been a no-show aside from flying onto the landing pad as Iron Man (and there were rumors of a private elevator in the back) it was more than a little radical.

Thinking back on it, Peter didn't really know what he was expecting when he entered the office of the genius billionaire playboy philanthropist. Or at least, that's what he told himself. In his head, he was admittedly imagining a stunning moment in which he would be able to demonstrate his knowledge of engineering and complex science theorems, leading him straight to the development levels of Stark Industries and perhaps Tony Stark's personal protégé.

Yeah. Like that'd ever happen.

The dreams were quickly being shot down as he shuffled about the room, settling the papers down on the desk like Miss Potts had told him to. ("Don't even bother trying to hand them directly to him, he'll get fussy," she said like a chiding mother.) There was a moment where Mr. Stark, who seemed preoccupied with the screens, spared him a glance to ask his name.

"Peter Parker."

"Good on you, Parker, I am sure you are an indispensable member of our staff," Tony said more to the computer screen than the boy in front of him.

He probably should've shut his mouth there but he managed a slight laugh instead, "Really? Does that mean my two-month internship gets extended?"

It seemed to give the head of the company pause as he turned to realize exactly who it was that stood in front of him. The look in his eyes pretty much said 'Oh.' Meanwhile, his lips actually managed, "Take it up with Pepper- by the way, while you're here, grab that thinga-ma-bob from the other side of the room. I promise you'll know what I'm talking about since you won't know what it is."

Ignoring the vote of confidence, Peter went to do that just that and glanced over the table. There was nothing foreign on the table but his eyes did widen a bit as he picked up the container of Oscorp's biocable, bringing it over to Mr. Stark's desk without missing a beat. "A look at the competitor's materials, Mr. Stark…?"

"Do I look like I'm worried about competition right now, Parker?"

To be honest, it looked like Mr. Stark hadn't been worried about anything for a single day in his life.

But Peter kept that to himself, instead just managing a slightly forced grin – he hoped it would come off as internship awkwardness and not as a painful knot in his stomach as he had a bad feeling about this – and settling the package onto the desk. "No, Mr. Stark."

"Good answer because I'm not," he responded quite easily and reached for the container just as his phone seemed to vibrate on the desk. His eyes wandered but his hand kept going.

The thing about Tony Stark, Peter was quickly learning, was that he was a multi-tasker. That meant having multiple things on the table on his desk, from papers to products to prototypes to breakfast.

His coffee mug was nudged just a bit too far as he reached for the container and it quickly acted as if it purchased a one-way ticket to the ground and risked missing its flight.

Without thinking about how it would look, Peter caught the mug just before it hit the ground, also maneuvering it so that there wasn't a single drop hitting the wood that was probably worth more than Peter's life savings would ever amount to.

Realizing that he had just pulled a superhuman feat in front of Iron Man, Peter mentally cursed and straightened, settling the cup back down on the desk. It took him another half-second to actually gather up the courage to glance up—

And it took all of his being not to breathe a sigh of relief when he noticed Mr. Stark was actually texting on his phone now, having grabbed for it instead.

So there was an awkward clearing of his throat as Peter nervously scratched the back of his neck (again playing up the anxiety-ridden intern placed in front of one of the most powerful men in the world). "Is that all, Mr. Stark?"

"Huh? Oh. Yeah." One hand was removed from the device and casually waved. "Been a big help, Parker. Talk to Pep, make a bargain for three months maybe."

"I'll do that, Mr. Stark. Thanks," the teenager shifted his weight onto one foot before heading out of the too-big office, wondering how on earth he got away with that one.

It was when he was shutting the door that he felt the paranoia of someone watching him, but that was normal with how many security cameras were littered around Stark Industries. He'd learned to brush that off a long time ago.

As a result, he missed the billionaire with an amused look on his face as he glanced up from his phone and reached for his recently rescued coffee, knowing exactly where it was despite the mess and lack of visual guidance.

Hours later found Tony in the area of the tower that was built strictly for the Avengers, shifting through the assortment of data that had come from SHIELD. Apparently some time before Stark Tower was done with construction, there was chaos in New York and now he was intent on looking into it. A West Coast boy at heart, he lacked any desire in getting involved with what happened on the East Coast unless it was in the vicinity of the Stark Expo.

In disaster movies, it was always California or New York that were the first to go. He thought his chances of getting involved were bad enough with living in Malibu.

It was as he was looking through these files on a Stark Pad that Steve wandered in and—wow, was he seriously holding a glass of milk?

"No really, are you that much of a good-two-shoes? You know they lied to you, Cap. Milk stops actually assisting your body in growth once you hit the age of 8 and to be quite honest, I don't think you need it anymore," Tony criticized.

Rolling his eyes and promptly ignoring that, Captain America instead focused on what Tony seemed to be preoccupied with on the screen of the computer, "Oh… hey, I remember reading about that incident. They were just cleaning up the Oscorp Tower when I woke up. It was on a newspaper."

"… your Welcome Back party from Antarctica was lizard men rampaging the streets?" Tony scoffed, "Yeah, no wonder you didn't really seem to blink at the appearance of some Norse gods."

"No, I'd say he startles instead."

The new voice got both of them to jump slightly, the milk in Cap's cup almost sloshing over as the grin on Loki's face grew wider. He approached where Tony sat on the couch and Steve hovered nearby, running a hand over the back of the furniture before resting lightly on the billionaire's shoulder. For Steve he spared a surprisingly tame smile, "Captain."

"Loki…" Steve gave a nod in response and tried to appear easy.

The god seemed to come by whenever he pleased and apparently whatever he had going on with Tony made it so that the worst the Avengers ever got from him were insulting remarks (and even then, they practically had heat sensors locked on Clint) and occasionally a false alarm at the park. No, they never knew what the source of the false alarm was, but when Loki came by later looking especially smug from how annoyance radiated off all of them, it wasn't hard to come up with a first suspect. However they, and that included SHIELD, all preferred that as opposed to a thoroughly destroyed Manhattan, and so they let this… thing continue.

(It was just a little bit more incentive when they started noticing that Tony seemed to smile and laugh more when the god was around but no one would say so aloud.)

"Honey, you're home," Tony spoke without even looking up from the tablet in his lap. Though he did spare a moment to grasp for Loki's hand and press his lips to the back of it, using the other to scroll down an article.

Steve seemed quite grateful for the distraction from the display of affection – admittedly rather tame and perhaps that was even weirder than the time when he was going to grab Tony from his suite for a debriefing and instead found the two tangled up in each other on the rug – when a picture caught his eye. "Hey, isn't that-"

"The one and the same, Cap," Tony responded as he double-tapped the picture and led to its expansion. "Say hello to the kid that hit Amora's pretty face with a string of web the other day."

The mention of the other magic-user from Asgard seemed to catch Loki's attention as he leaned in further. "Oh?"

"Yeah, it's the guy who made you laugh so hard you snorted—don't make that face, you did exactly that," Tony grinned. Loki developed the theory that Tony had eyes in the back of his face because he hadn't even turned to capture the distaste in the god's expression. "Spider-Man. Sometimes I catch him zipping around the city but he seems to handle a lot of the crime on the streets most of the time, so he didn't hit our radar until the Enchantress was fuming at her surprise facial. He vamoosed before any of us got the chance to question him though."

"Why the sudden interest, Tony?" Steve's brows furrowed in response, "Weren't you the one who said 'kids will be kids will be masked vigilantes on weekends'?"

Lips quirking into a smile at his own joke, Tony merely flicked through a few more of the images of the masked vigilante in question. "I did say that… except I was just wondering what he does for a day-job."

Apparently Steve didn't quite get it before marking it off as a Tony thing and starting to head off into his own room, getting the hint when Loki's other hand found its way to Tony's other shoulder almost possessively.

"You have a lead then," the god of mischief practically purred as he leaned down to murmur in the ear of his mortal lover. A statement, not a question.

Tony made a small noise of acknowledgment, more or less agreeing as his left hand moved behind the couch and tangled itself lightly in Loki's hair. His other hand made a few more motions over the tablet before it made a noise. Still unused to Midgardian technology, Loki's eyes narrowed in response but Tony merely flicked his fingers to pull up a different "window" as it was called.

Most of it was different numbers and diagrams as well as words that did not look like they were completely in English though they used the basic 26-letter alphabet; however what Loki understood was the blinking, red "100%".

It was then that Tony's lips curled up into a grin that had previously only reared its head when he had beaten Bruce in a game of chess. "More than one lead now."

The god merely hummed, lazily interlocking his arms to settle them down upon Tony's chest as he leaned over the couch to press their lips together. He thought he'd been patient enough to go on that long without immediately commandeering the engineer's attention. "You've been busy then, haven't you?"

A slight chuckle passed through Tony's lips as he smiled into the kiss.

"A tangled web has been woven."

A few weeks passed by without incident—

Alright, that was a bit of an exaggeration. Incidents that are going ignored are:

a) when the pizza guy was entering Mr. Stark's office and tripped over one of the pieces of machinery that was lying on the floor which lead to Peter simultaneously playing a game of Catch the Pizza and Tetris to make sure they all fit in a way that didn't lead to them falling over again. Luckily for him, Mr. Stark merely clapped and said that if he needed a recommendation to get into clown college, he'd be happy to write it.

b) Doombots hitting the city hard and one of them sneaking its way right down the street that Gwen lived on. As if it wasn't bad enough for her to be in the vicinity when the Enchantress was in town, but it lead to Spider-Man making an appearance and wrapping up the drone all nice and pretty in a web as a gift for Black Widow to collect later. A little treat between arachnids, he thought.

c) and he wasn't sure if this really counted, but the feeling of being watched didn't just extend to Stark Industries anymore. Instead he occasionally stopped in the street to take a look around yet he found no familiar faces. Yet despite that, he kept getting the tingling feeling and an image of green eyes in his head. Weird.

However if he was allowed to keep borrowing sayings from other people, Peter realized that was probably the calm before the storm. Or if he were to keep his own words, it was his little reprieve before the shit actually hit the fan.

Maybe he should've picked up on it when Mr. Stark actually seemed to be coming to work more often- not just the Stark Tower because there was an underlying feeling that he was always there. Possibly because his name was on the building and couldn't be ignored, or maybe it was the portraits of Iron Man or sometimes even a photograph of the man himself here and there. No, it was his physical presence that set everyone abuzz because Mr. Stark had been coming in almost three times a week regularly now and that was just unheard of.

No one said that in Miss Potts' presence though…. well—

Except for Peter.

"Is there some sort of big reveal coming out, Miss Potts? Stark Industries Fall Line or something?" he asked her, picking up the usual pile of paperwork that was supposed to be delivered to Mr. Stark. When he'd mentioned the extension of three months, she laughed and shook her head.

Now he was hired part-time.

Yes, Peter Parker was a huge fan of Pepper Potts, and not just because she agreed to be his name alliteration pal. (That was another P there if you didn't notice.)

"Did I not tell you?" she hummed as she put down the phone and scribbled a few more notes down on a sticky pad, "That's exactly what it is. I put your name in for our lead male model. How well do you do in heels?"

She was also very awesome.

"My sense of balance isn't really the best…" he lied and felt a bit of pride when she started smiling down at the paper. The break-up between her and Tony hit the newsstands but everything still seemed perfectly functional, especially as far as the company was going. Pepper was still CEO and handled the majority of the actual business, but she actually wasn't as imposing as he thought.

To keep Tony Stark in check, Peter expected a lot of whip-cracking and a very strict attitude. However when Pepper had greeted him with a full set of pearly whites on his first day, he realized that honey actually was much more preferable than vinegar.

However a beep coming from the desk caught his attention and then there was Mr. Stark's voice coming through loud and clear—

"Hey Pep, where's Parker?"

Peter couldn't hide his befuddled look at being directly asked for by Tony Stark. Sure, he was the one who often went up to his office, but it wasn't like there was a schedule—

Okay, maybe there was, but Mr. Stark didn't say anything when he showed up thirty minutes late because his Spidey Sense told him there was danger in the city and he went to check it out only to find that whatever was disturbing the park had left.

"Sorry, he likes me more," Pepper spoke without missing a beat.

"Impossible, I help pay his bills."

"How much does he get paid again, Tony?"

The resulting silence that she completely expected apparently made her go easy on him.

"I'll send him up. Peter, say hi and promise you'll be there in five minutes."

"Good morning, Mr. Stark, and I'll make it three. Later, Miss Potts," Peter called from where he was already positioned at the door and waved before he shut it behind him and made a beeline for the elevator.

Pepper watched him go with a smile before shaking her head. "Be gentle with him, Tony."

Another figure slinked into her office not a moment after, "Oh you know as well as I that simply isn't possible with him, Pepper."

At the sudden company, she merely laughed and shook her head.

"Wishful thinking, I guess."

Oh, this was nothing compared to the knot he had in his stomach during the first accident. (And he'd definitely go ahead and call it an accident because that word exists for a reason, thank you very much.)

Admittedly it wasn't that bad until he actually walked into Mr. Stark's office and wasn't that always how it was? Walking into the office meant you were called up for something and normally, that person would be waiting to be fired. Of course, Peter was sure that Miss Potts had more say about whether or not he stayed or went, so that wasn't a major concern of his.

No, the major concern was that Mr. Stark seemed to be tinkering with something on the underside of his wrist when Peter walked in.

"Hey, Mr. Stark," he intoned as he let himself in and looked everywhere but at the billionaire seated behind his desk. Peter had gotten more casual over time, mostly because Mr. Stark was incredibly casual himself. While he kept his distance with most of his employers, it was hard to be completely uptight when Mr. Stark offered him pizza and asked him what he thought of the Brooklyn—oh pardon him, Los Angeles Dodgers, claiming that he had a bet with a friend to settle.

"Parker."

"Well you seem to be wrapped up in genius, sir, so I think I'll just go ahead and see myself out. Your papers are the same as any other day, signature, initial, all that—I'll get them to Miss Potts later," Peter immediately started walking backwards once he'd settled the papers on the desk and turned for the door as soon as he could.

Something whizzed through the air and covered the doorknob.

He realized a moment later that it was web—web made from Oscorp's biocable.

"Not bad, right?" came a laugh from behind him. "I mean, my shooting skills and all. Gotta aim a bit differently since it's not like the repulsors on the suit, but the calculations aren't that bad. Maybe I can beat Hawkeye yet."

Okay. Okay, maybe he can play it cool. Peter gave a laugh as he turned slightly and plucked at the (too familiar) string that extended across the room, watching the vibration for a moment. "Yeah, you've got a lot of talents, Mr. Stark."

The easy-going and knowing look in the man's eyes made Peter suddenly regret thinking that he was ready to look back at him.

"Very true, but so do you. I had a bunch of gadgets lying around that I could modify, but from what I understand, you didn't exactly have access to a lab when you cooked this up at home."

Oh yeah, he definitely regretted it.

"Uh… sorry?" he tried to feign obliviousness again, shifting his weight to his other foot. However even the nervous act that he was putting on didn't really compare to the actual freaking out that was going on in his head. Part of him questioned how wise it would be to just pretend to pass out here and now. Maybe Miss Potts would make Mr. Stark lay off on him then.

Too dramatic? Yeah, probably.

Was he desperate enough to seriously weigh the pros and cons of it? Oh yeah.

"No don't apologize, you've actually been a big help despite what the police say," Mr. Stark made a vague gesture with his free hand. "Don't take it personally, they talk bad on anyone that isn't rich, backed by the government and the shadow government, a relic of American culture, or capable of smashing them into the ground if provoked."

Peter made an attempt to laugh at the joke before he went into no-no territory completely purposefully, "Mr. Stark, um… have you been drinking today?" Yeah, he'd rather be fired for disrespect than getting found out here. That's how screwed he thought he was.

But in response, there was a quick downturn of Mr. Stark's lips—and then it was back into a remarkably relaxed expression. "Sorry, did I get your hopes up there? I was trying to throw you a bone. Sit down, Parker. I've lived with a volatile Norse god for a couple months now; I don't bite easy unless asked directly."

It was tempting to see if he could make a break out of Stark Tower then and there, but Peter soon realized that it would only be counterproductive.

So against his better instincts, Peter sat down in the chair opposite of his employer and now his jailer seeing as all exits were blocked. "Listen, Mr. Stark, I—"

"No, you listen." And for once Mr. Stark was using a voice that didn't speak simply of luxury and leisure with dabblings in curiosity here and there. No, this was the voice that spoke of Iron Man and someone who could and had changed the world. For once, he completely commanded the attention of young Peter Parker. "I'm not sure if SHIELD's already beaten me to you and given you the cue cards that say 'this is your identity and keep it that way', but you're treading on thin ice, Parker.

"I don't have the authority to exactly give you an invite to the floors upstairs that house super soldiers, master assassins, temperamental geniuses, and occasionally a Norse god or two—not with an official Avengers ID at least. So you're not backed by anyone, even though SHIELD seems to let you run around and play as you please because you help rid us of a boogie man or two who thinks he's a hundred bucks short in his wallet and therefore targets a liquor store to make up the difference." Despite his flippant tone, Mr. Stark's eyes narrowed as he spoke and Peter tried to place where he'd seen that look in someone else's eyes.

"I just wanted to get a few things straight. If you get caught, I'm not going to bail you out. If Peter Parker is suddenly the new slang on the streets for 'captured vigilante', I'm not about to step in and save you. I'm not sure how many people know about this double-identity thing you've got going on and I'm not about to out you, but you've got to be smart about it."

It hit Peter then. He'd seen similar looks in Uncle Ben's eyes when he was in the middle of giving lectures; he'd seen that look in the eyes of a fallen captain who was also speaking as a fatherly mentor.

No wonder he found the look strange on Tony Stark: genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.

Nonetheless, he heaved a sigh then and couldn't do much more than nod. It felt a little bit like defeat, but while his IQ and potential hovered around Mr. Stark's – he knew this to be true since Miss Potts confirmed it for him – there was something that greatly separated the two: experience.

"Yeah… yeah, I know, Mr. Stark," Peter remained fixated on his hands as they were clasped together, his forearms resting on his knees. "I've… kind of been at this on my own for a while now. I didn't expect much to change even now that you know."

He purposefully left out the part that said he honestly hoped it didn't.

"… Good." And Peter's reward was a nod before Mr. Stark sat up in his chair and looked at him, "Now we're on to the next issue."

Peter again hoped that maybe this one wouldn't hit him in the face going eighty miles per hour like the last one did.

"I am actually gravely offended that you are still using Oscorp's biocable."

This actually led to Peter's eyebrows practically shooting right into his hairline as he looked up, intrigued and confused. That was definitely not where he saw this going.

"No, seriously. You can hack and you can prance around like a ninja – I can compare because I kind of live with two – so why is it that every single cable that I've designed has gone untouched? Seriously kid, make better use of your resources," the man went on as he started removing the impostor device off his wrist, "I forgive you for initially going with Oscorp only because I didn't have a foot in the East Coast when you started. Shipping and handling must've been better in-city and all that, whatever. But now? Really? Come on."

"Uh…" Peter fidgeted in his seat a bit and wondered exactly what kind of response would be merited here. "I… kind of wanted to keep my job?"

Now it was time for the person on the other side of the desk to look surprised. "You work here?"

It was hard to fight off a smile as he got to reply, "Yeah, for the past few weeks, Mr. Stark."

"… well good, we can skip that step and the terrible but obligatory Donald Trump impression that I had prepared," Mr. Stark nodded and tossed the now dismantled and disarmed piece of equipment onto his desk and rose. "We're going straight to bumping up your access levels. Let's go to R&D. If you're lucky, we might be able to catch the wild Banner in his natural habitat."

Peter was left following after as the other man started to cross the room, "Uh, Mr. Stark—"

He halted immediately when the other made a complete 180 to face him directly. "Try something for me. Call me Tony."

"Um… Tony?"

"… yeah, that's what I thought," the sometimes-Iron Man sighed and traced a pattern onto the bare wall, "We're going to stick with Mr. Stark."

And as the wall gave way to a sleek steel interior, that was when Peter Parker finally found truth in the rumored private elevator.

"I thought… I wouldn't be allowed on those floors." Sure, maybe Peter was shooting himself in the foot but he nonetheless came along when Mr. Stark beckoned him to step into the elevator as well.

"Well no, not with the Avengers ID." Then there was the easy-going shrug that would always drive Miss Potts crazy when she sought a direct answer from him. "But I can always introduce you as Peter Parker: Upgraded Intern who also moonlights as an arachnid."

Peter was still trying to get over that one when Mr. Stark simply had to go on as he was so often prone to doing.

"Nice spandex, by the way."

As if it wasn't enough to have spent a few hours working with the guy who built Iron Man and the resident expert on gamma radiation on recreating the web shooters to have a greater range and also looking into just how far the spider enhanced his abilities, it would seem that Peter Parker was still in for the night of his life.

How else could he explain Captain America sitting in his living room?

"Oh, I remember Charlie Chaplin!" the blond grinned as he sat across from Auntie May, an empty cup of tea in front of him as she giggled – oh my god Auntie May was giggling – behind the rim of her tea cup.

"A-Auntie May…? Uh, what's… going on?" Peter awkwardly inserted himself into the room as he shifted the strap of his bag.

That seemed to earn him the attention of both persons in the room and his aunt stood then, smiling brightly, "Oh Peter! You're actually home before it even got dark." Then she turned back to the good captain, who shifted his attention back to her like a puppy. "You know, he's always flying off places and never tells me where he is. Really, I can't always understand the youth of this age."

There was a momentary verbal scuffle between them as she started gathering the dishware from the table and the man naturally tried to argue, but she shushed him back down and he was back to sitting right on the couch as she went to the kitchen.

It was then that Peter realized that he was fully entitled to sitting in his own home so he grabbed a seat to the right of where America Incarnate was and made eyes at the kitchen, having to honestly question, "Does she, um… know that you're…"

"Captain America?" the blond finished for him with a laugh, "Yeah. Believe it or not, she actually watches a lot of TV. Makes me feel behind in things."

Peter held back a remark about how he was excused since he spent a fair amount of time sleeping. Yeah, Mr. Stark and Mr. Banner gossiped a bit in the lab and didn't seem to care that the new member of their Science Club was around to hear it. This left him just shuffling a bit in his seat.

"But you're Peter then?" and it was the first time that the other man full-on looked at him with a smile.

They also gossiped about Captain America's smile and the way that it kind of lit up the world when it was directly pointed at you. There were theories about how the superhero serum managed to turn natural charisma into a superpower that was a force to be reckoned with as well. Either way, it made Peter relax and he smiled back with a nod, "Yeah. That's me."

A hand was offered to him then. "Well, you seem to know who I am… but it's a bit of a mouthful and strange in common company. You can call me Steve or… well, Cap flies too."

"It's really nice to meet you then, Cap," and Peter extended his hand for the handshake. Admittedly, it was a bit of a pathetic excuse of a handshake but even with his enhanced strength, Peter couldn't exactly compare to the grip that the men in uniform often had.

At that point, Auntie May once again stepped in the room, drying her hands on a towel and smiling at the sight. "Well look at you two getting along. Seems that he finally decided to arrive then didn't he, Captain? I'll leave you two to whatever business you have. Good night, Peter and it was a pleasure meeting you, Steve."

They both gave her a smile and it was a chorus of "Good night, Aunt May" and "It was a pleasure, Miss May" as she wandered up the stairs.

Steve chuckled then as he faced Peter and answered the questioning look in his eyes, "I came knocking a few hours ago, asking for you but you were still out. Apparently Tony sent me the text hours ago that he had you but I couldn't figure it out until just recently. By then your aunt and I were already talking about the 1940's and it turns out that what I knew was innovative, she knew as classics. It was quite enlightening."

Peter's smile only became slightly strained in response as he had to question the obvious, "You… came looking for me?"

The easy-going blue of Steve's eyes seemed to harden a bit as he nodded, "Yes. Tony said he was going to talk to you today… and I guess I wanted to act as a bit of a translator."

"Well… that's pretty funny," Peter ran a hand through his already mussed hair as he gave a shrug, "Because I really promise that Mr. Stark spoke in no uncertain terms—"

"Yeah, that's what I was worried about," and Steve smiled like he knew something that Peter didn't. "He rarely speaks specifically. I imagine he told you things about how he couldn't take you in as an Avenger and how if you got caught, none of us could save you?"

There was really no use hiding it, so Peter nodded.

"Then right after he took you up to the development department to talk to Bruce too," and he didn't even have to wait for the nod to know that was fact. "That was basically him saying 'so don't get caught' in his way.

"None of us really buy into the child soldier idea except for Natasha, as far as I know," Steve shrugged and looked almost sheepish, "so I can't say that all of us are really comfortable with having you out there. However I… personally don't like squashing on anyone who wants to help, especially when you do manage to be a big help."

"Yeah… I, uh, read the comics," Peter grinned a bit as he managed to pull a laugh from Captain America.

"Then I guess it goes without saying that the underlying message of all this is that you really should be careful. From what I can tell is that Tony's taken a liking to you, otherwise he wouldn't have bothered to try to uncover your identity like he did. And from what I've learned in my hours here…" he glanced toward the stairs, "You still have someone to come back home to, Peter."

It was his turn to be sheepish as Peter ran another hand through his hair and his gaze traveled a bit down to the floor, "Yeah… yeah, I know, Cap."

But the concern didn't last long as Steve flashed another smile at him and stood, ruffling up his hair as he did, "Good. Because I'll tell you… that's one of the greatest treasure you can find on this earth."

"You really are as cheesy as the comics say," Peter muttered under his breath as he glanced up at the living legend before him.

That made Steve blush a bit as he rubbed the back of his neck, "Uh… really?"

And Peter just laughed, "Yeah. Really. It's okay though, old-fashioned works now and again."

But the look in the captain's eyes softened at that as he started to head for the door, "That's good to hear." However it was just when Peter was seeing him out that he seemed to have one last thought and looked over his shoulder. "By the way, Peter?"

"Yeah, Cap?" and he never really thought he'd be addressing Captain America so casually but here he was.

"Try to come home earlier. Your aunt worries."

Peter merely found himself smiling and shaking his head as he closed the door behind him and leaned against it. Softly, he spoke to himself. "Yeah, Cap… yeah."

Weeks went on like that.

Peter kept up with school as well as working part-time at Stark Industries as the Upgraded Intern as well as still maintaining his 'moonlighting as a masked vigilante' and it almost concerned him how correct Mr. Stark was when he first coined that. He had to admit that it was pretty awesome to be invited up to the Avengers-designated area of the tower and Mr. Banner was a huge help with helping understand all of his limits as someone affected by a cross-species mutation.

Even his web shooter improved as a result from his exploits in Stark Tower and what was an added bonus was when Agent Barton got back from the mission that kept him away, he was interested in helping Peter get more creative with what the shooter could do.

As far as working for Stark Industries went, the perks were absolutely off the charts.

… well, for Peter Parker anyway.

Spider-Man still operated almost completely on his own, not involving himself with the Avengers and their missions until they got a little too close to Apartment 2016 and any of their residents. Then and only then would they receive some assistance from a non-member.

Of course, this left Peter also facing a few threats on his own until the Avengers got the call.

This was the unfortunate case when Amora was finally back after a vacation at who knows where or even which realm, and all that was known or that really mattered was that she was back with a vengeance. Without multiple opponents working on ganging up on her, it left Spider-Man dodging both her magic and the axe swings of her oversized boy toy Skurge for a little too long.

He was just a few inches away from getting sliced open before a familiar red, white, and blue shield zipped past and hit Skurge right in the stomach. There was a hand on his shoulder and Clint's voice saying "go" and Peter didn't really need more invitation than that.

He bolted.

It was on a rooftop a few blocks away that Peter was left licking at his wounds, but thankfully not literally. Instead he found the pain pretty crippling since Skurge had gotten him right across the chest and he seriously lamented that he had no pretty girl to play nurse for him this time around.

The bleeding had thankfully stopped but Peter was seriously unsure what actions he should take at this point, because it wasn't like he could just go home and try to clean this wound when Auntie May could walk in any minute. Mr. Stark had made it painfully clear that Peter wasn't allowed access to the Avengers floors unless he had someone to take him there. This wasn't a problem before since he'd gotten to exchange numbers with most of the team (which was awesome) but right now most of the team was busy…. still saving his ass from an Enchantress. Yeah.

There was a distinct recollection in his head that he didn't see Mr. Stark amidst the Avengers, but he made a mental note not to take it personally that he didn't come to Spider-Man's rescue. He probably would've been there, but Miss Potts had told him about a meeting that Mr. Stark had today and it was absolutely non-negotiable.

Non-negotiable rarely came up in Miss Potts' vocabulary, so when it did, it basically meant 'this will be happen or there will be hell to pay'.

Nonetheless, absolutely zero of this managed to help his current predicament where he was left on a rooftop and nowhere to go to clean his wounds unless someone managed to find him.

Unfortunately, he didn't think he'd be in any state to answer his cell phone if he was unconscious.

As inopportune timing would have it, a feeling crept over him then, making every edge of his body stand on edge. There was something coming and there was also someone watching him. He managed a pathetic attempt to stand before immediately releasing a string of curses. If Amora and Skurge had managed to get away from the Avengers—

"There's quite a mouth on you. How much of that did you pick up from Tony, I wonder?"

That voice was foreign but definitely not feminine enough to be Amora or burly enough to be Skurge. While still not entirely at ease, it was a little promising and prompted Peter to crack open an eye.

The man in front of him was both familiar and not. Peter was absolutely sure he'd never seen someone of such tall height, hair slicked back in that manner, and dressed in armor that slightly resembled the kind Thor wore. However the green eyes were the ones that constantly invaded his mind's eye and if he thought really hard about it, he could conjure up a memory of a man who looked rather like this one dressed in a slick black suit and green tie, somewhere in the crowd of people who were in the Stark Industries building.

"Uh…" Peter blinked, trying to fight off the fuzz that was slightly obscuring his vision, "Sorry, I don't think I'm supposed to talk to strangers."

A wicked smile found its way onto the lips of the other and caused him to tense up that much more, a sense of dread filling his stomach as the words fell off the tongue of the other man. "Oh, I promise you, Mr. Peter Parker, that I am no stranger."

"Stalker? I don't think stalkers are much better—" Sadly his retort was caught off by a pang of pain coming from his abdomen as he tried to sit up.

"Now now, I think the kindest term for it is guardian angel," and the stranger seemed to find amusement in his own words, the way that his eyes lit with amusement. "But tell me, does distaste for hospitals also run in the family? I thought it was absolute torture to get Tony agree to see a doctor but I'm afraid the one who normally takes the house-call is currently wrapped up in his hobby of being a brute elsewhere."

"Do they treat vigilantes in spandex where you come from? Which I can tell isn't Earth by the way. Who dressed you? Lady Gaga?"

Apparently Peter felt like death wasn't answering the door fast enough and insisted on banging upon it.

Except his wit seemed to coax a laugh out of the other, "Oh. You even make the same jokes as him. That's just rich. No wonder he's so preoccupied with you." A beat passed before the smile on the other's lips took a tint of coldness, "I suppose I must concede to your point. Mortals are so fickle with who they choose to treat and not to treat. Sadly, I can't quite allow you to stay here. The Enchantress will eventually make her escape and find it perfectly fine to hunt you. Riveting sport to crush insects in Asgard, you see."

In the haze of his mind, Peter had to openly announce, "I understood about half of that but I think the bottom line is that I need to go. However—"

"Yes, easier said than done, I've realized," hummed the stranger/stalker/hallucination. Peter was increasingly putting his money on the last option being the most likely.

"So are you—"

"Be silent," the other commanded as he purposefully stepped forward and glowered down upon where Peter was slumped. He barely kept in the temptation to point out that this wise guy was the one doing all the interrupting here. "Now close your eyes or I shall not be responsible for any mess you make from the sickness."

His mouth had just barely opened to comment before he did as the other asked. Now he has no way to figure out how the guy knew his eyes were closed beneath the mask, but he felt a strange tug of something—no, nix that, everything around him as things were distorted. When he finally felt stable again, he opened his eyes and was greeted by the walls of Stark Tower. Movement testified that he was also on the comfortable couch in the living room. The stranger was a fair distance away, perhaps a little too at home in the base of Avengers operations.

Just as he was about to question what happened and how it happened, there was a ding coming in the direction of the private elevator.

The man whose name Peter hadn't even gotten turned at the noise and smiled. Then it was a simple shrug accompanied with a wave. He disappeared just as the words "security breach" left his lips.

From there it was Peter deliriously explaining the situation to a very startled Miss Potts. He'd just barely heard her say 'oh Peter, everything is going to be fine, okay?' before he just nodded weakly and gave himself over to the lure of unconsciousness.

"No really, I am starting to seriously put some consideration into my theory that you were the Grinch at some point in your life and then Seuss captured you and all your glory before exaggerating how much green you wore."

The words perhaps would have set Loki on edge a bit more if they weren't accompanied by an arm finding its way around his middle and a set of lips finding his jawline.

"You're interrupting my reading," he stated simply and tried to find exactly which sentence he had left off on before Tony had come in to invade his personal space as well as his thinking space.

"I am injured that it's even put in question as to whether or not I'm more interesting than anything found on paper," came the injured huff. However the ruse worked well enough as another arm circled around Loki and pulled him all the closer to the genius.

"Simply because you have a ridiculous vendetta against paper," Loki started before he relented and settled the book off to the side to meet the big chocolate brown eyes of Tony's puppy dog look, "does not mean the rest of us do."

"I still won out in the end," he quipped before claiming a kiss from the god's lips.

Not against rolling his eyes, the god instead had to lightly question the antics of the man beside him. "Now tell me, to what do I owe your ridiculous references that you know are beyond both my knowledge and my care?"

In response, Tony merely brightened that much more. "Security cameras."

Loki's brows knitted together and that was all the encouragement Tony needed to continue.

"Yeah, don't think that little display of bringing Peter here went unnoticed, babe," he murmured as he leaned in closer, enough for his goatee to brush against the god's throat in an absolutely impossible yet incredible way. "JARVIS told me that you got him in since he's not allowed to be in here without someone."

Crossing his arms in an unabashedly juvenile fashion, Loki remained vehemently against the idea. "I have already iterated to your good captain that if I had not stepped in, you would be absolutely insufferable in making sure that the boy was taken care of—"

The attempt at getting Tony to shut up seemed to fail rather spectacularly, seeing as he pulled back with a grin on his face to rival the Cheshire Cat.

"You know, just hearing that you did it for me makes it kind of even better," he practically purred with satisfaction as he started to press more of his weight against Loki, backing him up against the arm of the couch.

Where this would normally be the moment that Loki would wrap his arms around Tony's neck just to steady himself, he would not be shoved into the movement and instead continued to be difficult. "Did you not hear me when I said that you would be insufferable? It was not a slip of the tongue or an exaggeration, Stark."

The smugness that still radiated off Tony was nearly infuriating until he decided to be fixated on one thing and leaned in again, "Let me show you a slip of my tongue."

It took actual effort not to at least grin at the notion, but luckily Loki's lips were occupied quite soon after that as Tony settled for leaning in the rest of the way. He supposes he could concede in the face of physical pleasure and worked a hand into the billionaire's hair, pulling him all the closer with the other arm that had hooked around his neck.

Tony had just barely made good on his promise, just taking a teasing lick at Loki's lips before he pulled back and breathed, "Before I forget—

"Thank you, Loki."

It took a moment for the singular intent of doing rather unbecoming things to Tony on the couch to fade and the actual mention of gratitude to sink in.

A look of surprise and bewilderment flashed in the god's eyes, a brief glimpse of it but it didn't go unnoticed in Tony's gaze, fixated on the god as he was. Perhaps that made it all the sweeter, the fact that Loki didn't even intend to take credit for his deed.

Well then, it was time to show his gratitude in full, Tony decided.

Loki seemed more than willing when he pushed himself off the couch a bit, raising to slam his lips onto Tony's and opening his mouth to assist Tony in keeping his word. The billionaire merely pressed the god back up against the couch, slipping his tongue into the god's mouth and not bothering to suppress the moan that sought its escape from his throat.

Meanwhile, the universe decided it was time to make Tony pay back his karmic debt in full.

"Wow, seriously? I don't know what's weirder- the fact that my boss is making out with my stalker or the fact that you're cool with this right in the middle of the living room."

Peter's voice totally didn't belong in their make-out session.

Tony was incredibly hesitant to pry his lips off of Loki's but did so begrudgingly, managing a glare for the guy who hadn't even bothered to find a shirt. No, there was Peter Parker in his bandaged glory standing in the living room with the most horrified look on his face.

"No one invited you, Parker," Tony sighed even as he sat up, not even bothering to adjust his rumpled clothes because if he had it his way, he wouldn't be having conversation long enough for there to be a point in looking presentable.

"That's okay because that definitely isn't a party I want to crash," the boy held up both hands in defense before wincing in response.

Oh, that just wasn't fair.

Tony sighed and ran a hand through his hair, conceding the fact that there was no way for him to be able to latch his lips onto Loki's again in the next thirty seconds without looking like an asshole, "Get back to your room, Parker. If you need something, just tell JARVIS. He'll send a bot to go get it for you."

"Oh, uh, well, it's just—" he frowned and Tony seriously wondered what this kid's problem was. "I… kind of really should be getting home or else Auntie May will get worried. This is fine, I can probably just recuperate back at the house."

"Don't bother," Tony waved a hand, "Your aunt's here in the tower. Cap went to her with the story that you had an accident while helping out in the loading zone. She's just been waiting for you to wake up. Now get back in bed and we'll call her up here."

For a few long moments, Tony had to deal with Peter's simple staring.

"What, Parker?"

Finally, the kid blinked before shaking his head. "Nothing. It's just… you really think of everything, don't you, Mr. Stark?"

"It is my beautiful burden," he hummed and promptly ignored the snort from the god beside him. "Now off to bed with you. I'm not tucking you in."

"That'd be awkward for both of us, I think," Peter answered honestly before scratching at his head. However his feet wouldn't seem to let him go without getting absolutely everything off his chest and so he forced it out.

"By the way, um… Thanks, Mr. Stark. And Mr. Liesmith. Yeah, JARVIS gave me your name. Pretty surreal and unpractical in modern times—but uh, I mean…. thanks."

… oh.

Tony found it amusing that this probably was exactly what Loki had been feeling a few moments before, completely lost and confused at what to do when confronted with gratitude. Thankfully, Peter seemed just as odd about giving it as Tony was at receiving it, turning on his heel and headed back to the room.

The feeling settled in, taking on the shape of a disbelieving grin and a shake of his head.

Lost in his thought as he was, he missed the curious look of the god beside him, trying to pinpoint this foreign expression on his mortal's face.

Peter entered the room that was apparently designated as his rather briskly, seeking to put as much distance as possible (and preferably a door) between him and Mr. Stark. He had just entered when a voice boomed down from the ceiling.

The estimated time of arrival for your aunt is 15 minutes, Mr. Parker.

"Thanks, JARVIS," Peter shook his head and wondered when he became so at home with being able to respond to the AI. He settled himself down on the bed as gently as he could, trying not to overly provoke his own wounds. Opening them up again would just freak out Auntie May.

No problem, sir. I also issue the simple reminder that should you require anything, myself and the other servants of the house are at your beck and call.

That actually made the teenager laugh, which he regretted when he remembered the muscles he used to laugh were in his abdomen. "It's like living in an enchanted castle."

Mr. Stark does make for quite the apt cross of both Beauty and the Beast.

Peter grinned at that, still marveling at just how clever this machine was. Of course. Only in the Avengers Tower. Where he found himself now. Right after a fight with Amora.

… heh. And to think this all started with—

"Do you believe in accidents, JARVIS? I mean, from a mechanical standpoint," he figured he might as well make conversation until his aunt came in. It would help assist in keeping him awake.

Based on my own observations and what Mr. Stark has to say on the matter, I can confidently say that I do not think so, Mr. Parker.

Peter scoffed at that. "Really? Mr. Stark doesn't believe in accidents? But he's kind of accident-prone on his own, don't you think? I mean, falling coffee mugs and explosions and all."

There was a moment of silence and Peter wondered if AIs needed time to contemplate.

Contrary to popular belief, JARVIS spoke up again just after Peter finished his thought, Mr. Stark does nothing on accident, Mr. Parker.

After a long, long pause that put JARVIS' to shame, Peter finally spoke again.

"Yeah. I guess I can believe that."

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this spur-of-the moment project because I had a lot of fun writing it. Your reviews would make my heart soar and both of my other frostiron works are readily in development, so expect updates soon.