*We are one and the same
Oh you take all of the pain away, away, *

Yeesh, a shitload of months have passed by. So sorry! Writer's block been a complete bitch. Also the fact that I've been working full time and also studying full time hasn't helped. Hopefully I still have some readers x(

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Useless scraps of paper bound together.

Also known as books.

Envy sneered at the shelf, filled to the brim with these ancient massive stacks of dusty nasty sheets of paper. And yet, after repeating to himself how goddamned boring and mind-numbing the act of reading will be, his eyes still found themselves drawn peripherally to the same wooden bookshelf. Days here in this country town (if this disgusting place could even be dignified enough to actually be called a town) seemed unusually long. Lazy summer hours stretched on and on, and the drowsy heat along with the mechanic's indifferent if not cold attitude toward him made for a day that felt eternal. Why the hell he was still in this place was a complete mystery(seriously though, what you still doing here?). Which was the only reason he was even remotely interested in that damned bookshelf in the first place!

A mixture of a scoff and a tsk escaped his lips, a hand moving through its own accord towards a random hardcover book, which spine read Assorted Poems and Prose. He opened the book in a mixture of boredom (obviously) and curiosity, thumbing through the thin sheets slowly and deliberately. He was sure to look as annoyed and irritated as possible while doing said action.

"Blah-blah-blah, tell-tale heart, blah-blah..." He turned over the page and literally groaned at the extremely LONG poem.

"Oh great, a unnecessarily-long poem called Please Hear What I'm Not Saying, what a load of human bullcrap-"

"You're a human too, you know." A sudden feminine voice startled him enough to jolt out of his skin slightly, the book fumbling in his hands for two seconds before he whipped his head around and gave the blonde mechanic a glare. A glare which very clearly said 'how dare you sneak up on me and actually manage to startle me you worm' to which she fixed him with a deadpan look that read 'if you weren't talking to yourself so loudly, I wouldn't have overheard your silly musings so don't blame this on me'.

He scoffed again, much more softly than last time, a slightly irritated visage still detectable since he couldn't fathom how the girl was able to not make a single sound when she approached his room (Not your room! she'd fume. Don't care). Maybe he just didn't notice. But that just didn't bode well with him, either. That meant he was losing his touch. At the thought, he rolled his eyes in self-contempt.

That's not a maybe. That's a clear certainty. The not-quite human thought bitterly.

"And what exactly, are you doing here?" He demanded, not kindly. Winry rose an eyebrow, yet surprisingly there was no anger nor annoyance by his tone. "What? Am I not allowed here, your Highness?" Her question was laced with light sarcasm. His eyebrows rose slightly. Though he wasn't trying to rile her up per say (and that's a rarity), he did think she was going to snap at him for being so rude. Or at least throw her wrench at him. Something bad in general. It's not like she'd been particularly delightful these past couple of days. Her way of acknowledging his presence was actually not doing so at all, either ignoring his quips and remarks as if an insect had been trying to talk to her. Or if he was motivated enough to annoy a reaction out of her, she'd glare at him with a cold gaze that said 'I'm planning your long-term torture and dismemberment with each passing breath' and then immediately went back to pretending like he didn't fucking exist at all.

Again, why the hell was he even here?

Her tone wasn't as much as sarcastic as it was playful. It was a unsettling combination which made him feel downright uneasy. It couldn't be actually possible that she was used to him, was it? That she tolerated his insults and quips? Was she planning something? Idiot, don't you think she would have done it by now? You've been bedridden for eight days, and have been practically coddled by 'doctor' Rockbell for almost 12. She had more than enough opportunities to smother you in your sleep. Stop being so paranoid.

But it was not only her unusually tolerant attitude that had him feeling uneasy. No, it was her. All of her in every single possible way. Her voice. Her blonde hair, her laugh, her scent, her goddamned presence. He almost wished she'd leave the room. Strange, since he'd been trying nonstop to rile a response or a conversation for God knows how long and now that he got it, he realized the reason she stopped. He never realized how much tension there was between them. So many horrid nightmare-fuel altercations between them was cause enough for them to never speak to each other again, yet here they stayed. Why? WHY? She must hate him right? There is no other emotion that explains what she has to feel for him.

You hate the person who deceives you, betrays you. You hate the person who hurts you and tortures you. You hate that one despicable, disgusting, fucking worthless monster who rapes you. You only hate, right?

You HAVE to hate the person who KILLED your grandmother!

It's obvious! The most predictable emotion known to humankind! One small meager weak 'I'm sorry' won't change that!

Envy's stomach dropped, and he realized he admitted in saying just that. I'm sorry. Damn. He'd been in steadfast perfect denial about the entire ordeal, and even though he only thought it, he knew it was over. There was no going back, nor retracting the confession himself nor to Winry.

WHY AM I STILL HERE?!

Judging by his silence, she figured he didn't expect her response and continued on. "You should read that poem. The one you just mentioned. It's really good."

"Hm?"

"Charles Finn's poem. Please Hear What I'm Not Saying." As she repeated the poem's title, she walked to the desk in front of the window of the room, and dragged the chair along the floor until it was but a few feet away from Envy's standing figure. She flipped the wooden chair until she sat backwards on it, crossed arms on top of the chair's rails, and her face resting on her arms. She looked quite relaxed while doing all of this process. Meanwhile, the green-haired man just stared at her with a look of incredulity.

Was she waiting on him to read the poem out loud to her as if she was a child?

"You're kidding, right?" He laughed in disbelief, the opened book still in his hands. Again, she shot him a rather stony expression. "If you don't, I will refuse to cook for you and you will have to do it yourself."

"Despite your incessant need to believe I am completely useless in everything, I actually know how to cook. Every time Father had a prisoner holed up for intelligence, I was the one usually stuck making them food. So, shove it up yours." He grumbled.

"Just because you know how to heat up food without burning it, doesn't mean you know how to cook. Have you ever tried anything you ever cooked?"

"Of course not, in those glorious times, I had no need to eat. I was a pure full-fledged homunculus." He seethed at his last statement. Every time he was reminded of what he used to be, and now what he IS, made for a very bitter Envy indeed.

"Well, I did." Winry said in a very matter-of-fact voice. "You did have me captive for a while, remember?" She added dully. "And though I always inhaled any type of food you gave me because I was usually starving by the time you fed me, it was not memorable or good in any shape or form."

"I at least FED you, ungrateful bitch. You wanted me to cook up gourmet meals for my captive?" He sneered. Finally, an angry glint appeared in her eyes.

"Fine." She said simply. Surprisingly so. "Just be prepared to face your own horrible cooking then."

With this said, she stood up from her comfortable position on the reverted chair and made for a the door with a slightly dramatic flip of her hair. He growled slightly, not liking neither option presented. As much as he hated to admit it...he rather liked her cooking. And he very well couldn't FORCE her to cook for him, as he wasn't still very ready to take her on in his weakened state. (and...would he even want to force her if he was healed already? He was sick of the hostility, of the chains, of keeping her prisoner-) Yet, the poem he was being told to read was so unnecessarily long, he felt his eyes would bleed.

"Ugh, FINE." He grumbled once again, loudly enough for a blonde head to tilt back in the room. "What was that?" She loudly asked, a slowly growing smirk on her face.

"I'll read your stupid poem, but only if you promise to keep cooking!" He demanded, a threatening finger pointing up at her. Winry nodded curtly, sinking into the chair in the same position. Her chin rested on her crossed arms, waiting for him to begin. "Deal."

What is this, goddamned show and tell?

He rolled his eyes, and yet focused on the first line of the insanely long poem. "Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face I wear." He began reading, albeit bored and with no real emotion nor effort injected in his tone. The mechanic's back straightened and he glanced up at her, noticing her glaring at him. "What?" He stated quite rudely.

"If you keep reading it like that, then I will start cooking with the same effort you're putting into this. In other words. None." She emphasized, still scowling. "Are you KIDDING- That wasn't part of the deal!" He argued.

"Tough shit, I just changed the deal."

He glared daggers at her for at least a minute more, before reluctantly focusing his vision on the page once more.

"For I wear a mask, a thousand masks, masks that I'm afraid to take off and none of them is me. " Envy continued on, voice a bit louder and coarse- an attempt to sound a bit more 'enthusiastic' in reading, though it was failing miserably and Winry found it incredibly amusing.

"Pretending is an art that's second nature with me-" He stopped abruptly at the sentence, that weirdly familiar sentence, eyes narrowing in an interesting concoction of bewilderment and suspicion. The mechanic merely grinned. "I didn't say you could stop." She stated lightly, looking up at him with her head still resting on her crossed arms.

For some strange reason, instead of snapping at her for being so demanding and condescending, he immediately obeyed.

"But don't be fooled, for God's sake don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure,
that all is sunny and unruffled with me,
within as well as without,"

The words...they were so familiar. Why were they so familiar?

"that confidence is my name and coolness my game,
that the water's calm and I'm in command
and that I need no one,
but don't believe me."

Envy stopped again, eyes widening. He scanned the author's name again, trying to find some sense of familiarity in it. Maybe he knew this Charles guy a century ago, maybe he made an acquaintance with him when he was disguised and heard this poem. It was a possibility, right? It would explain why he felt like he already knew the words already before he read them. This time, Winry didn't even need to push him to continue as he did it himself.

"My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask,
ever-varying and ever-concealing.

Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness.

But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed."

She heard it. So very subtle and almost inaudible but she could swear she heard it. That small heart-jumping hitch in his voice, it stayed imprinted in her mind. He continued on, tone softer with every passing second. His slender fingers gripped the book to the point of making his skin white with poor circulation.

"That's why I frantically create a (horrible godawful) mask to hide behind (perfect but not mine, it was NEVER mine),"

He didn't even notice how he embedded his own musings in the poem. But she definitely noticed. Her grin fell off, and she looked up with tinges of sorrow.

"A nonchalant sophisticated facade, to help me pretend,
to shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only hope,
and I know it. God, do I know it." He muttered the last part, no longer standing tall and proud in front of Winry but sitting at the edge of the desk beside the window.

"That is, if it's followed by acceptance,
if it's followed by love.

It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself, (from my ugly self)
from my own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers I so painstakingly erect and boast about."

A loud sudden snarl escaped his throat, the thick book trembling in his violently shaking hands. She straightened up once again in her chair, conflicted by what the poem was doing to him. Should she let him keep reading it? It seemed he got more upset with every word that passed through his lips.

"It's the only thing that will assure me
of what I can't assure myself,
that I'm really worth something."

His voice stopped suddenly, and there was an unnerving silence in the air as his eyes read the rest of the page, darting from left to right. An eternity passed, him quiet and hidden behind the book, and her warily watching his actions. Suddenly, Envy ripped his charcoal black eyes from the offending page, staring at Winry with piercing horrid eyes. She stiffened at his dark, dark orbs. Unwittingly, fear bloomed in her heart and pumped through every blood vessel through her body. He dropped the book abruptly on the desk, the page still opened and intact when it made contact. She flinched at the surprisingly loud thud the heavy cover made with the wooden surface, and her heartbeat accelerated significantly at seeing the angry man advance on her with the look of murder etched in his face.

He walked with such leisure, unhurried nor bothered. Yet, this made the thick suffocating fear grow.

Being around him so much, his anger wasn't anything new to her, and she no longer feared it. But this...wasn't his typical explosive loud anger. No, it was a simmering rage that boiled and blackened in silence. He came to her with an unshakable calm, with a calculating cold steel look in unnatural onyx eyes. She stands instantly from the chair, breath quickening, feet taking shaky steps back, her heartbeat thundering loud in her ears, not taking her sight off the clearly dangerous half-homunculus. Her foot hit something hard, the wood frame of the bed, and she was definitely not expecting her path to be obstructed.

For a split second, her eye move to her side to see what stopped her and this was all Envy needed to pounce.

Instinct took over and a scream filled her brain, her mouth, and her ears. Her wide fearful eyes gazed directly up at the stronger faster sin on top of her. Her chest moved up and down erratically, and she curses herself, like she does practically daily, for letting her guard down. She cannot maintain a tolerable relationship with this man, her captor and her torturer. She just didn't know why she tries so hard to do just that. And now, she was paying for it. Maybe she will pay for it more in the future. By the sight of where things were heading...She squeezed her eyes shut at the beastly thought but opened them again, seeing his perfectly sculpted face staring back her blankly.

So close. Too close.

His slightly heavier body pressed her back to the foot of the bed, and the familiar sight threatened to break her composed mask. The tears were so close to the surface, a hairline's width away from it. Why would he even try to do anything else, after she helped him? Healed him?

He was done torturing her, wasn't he?

Her wrists were trapped by his tight grip and the suffocating soft comforter. Hooks clawed and perforated her lungs, an icy dread gripping her spinal cord. Her watery eyes bore into his fathomless black ones, and the lack of anything at all made her more terrified than ever. "What are you doing?" Such a quiet meek question, and it sickened her. It made her go back to those horrible memories of her being a true hostage. But, in reality that is what she felt like.

His dark cold EMPTY eyes looked like an apex predator's, a lion waiting to devour his gazelle with no thought nor remorse. She felt like a piece of meat dangling in front of a hungry carnivore.

Her stomach gave a tremendous drop, such a gut-wrenching dreadful feeling that filled her to the brim, when he licked his lips once and ever-so-slowly pressed his face to the side of her neck. All of her hairs stood on end, and pure terror pulsed through her veins. Winry was absolutely positive he could hear her heart hammering in her bruised rib cage faster than a hummingbird's wings. That's all she could hear anyway. The horrid frenzied beat pulsing in her ears, in her stomach, her entire body. His lips touched the shell of her ear slightly, and her entire body chilled and rose in goosebumps.

What are you doing to me, Envy. Don't do this to me, I beg you.

"Please, g-get off me..." She shut her eyes tight, tears finally escaping and rolling down her face, wishing for everything to go away. For him to stay dead, for her to stop being so weak-willed and soft-hearted. She wished oblivion, sweet salvation. And once, she wished death.

"You did this on purpose didn't you?" A hiss assaulted her eardrums, and her eyes shot open. Her body involuntarily started to writhe against his, struggling for freedom, but his grip on her already bruised wrists tightened painfully so and he pressed his entire weight against her.

"I don't think that is a particular wise action at the moment, Winry." He spoke so softly and calmly, the fear shot up like a injection of epinephrine to her system. And somehow, for some godforsaken reason, the way he regarded to her by her name and not by stupid bitch or slut made her even more frightened. This wasn't like any type of anger he ever lashed out against her. No, this was new. And hell, it was goddamned effective on making her completely lose her shit.

"But I don't tell you this. I don't dare to, I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance,
will not be followed by love."

Envy said lowly in her ear, and her eyes widened. Did he actually memorize-?

"I'm afraid you'll think less of me,
that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me.

I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing
and that you will see this and reject me."

It was practically a purring whisper now, the warm breath in her ear shooting up never ending goosebumps on her skin. And she realized it. Somehow, he memorized the rest of the page's contents and now rehearsed them to her. Casual. Soft. Terrifying.

"So I play my game, my desperate pretending game,
with a facade of assurance without
and a trembling child within."

"I didn't mean anything by it. I-I don't know what you think I did-"

"So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks, and my life becomes a front. I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk." He continued, mercilessly now. The whisper chilling and hostile.

"I tell you everything that's really nothing,
and nothing of what's everything, of what's crying within me."

"Please Envy, It's just a poem, nothing to get angry about! Written by an mundane author-"

Her voice stopped abruptly as two strong hands wrapped themselves around her throat and closed her windpipe, his head rising and staring at her appalled face. His eyes still remained empty and black. "How did you know? How did you know everything?" He hissed, and she choked out a unintelligible sound as a response, her own dainty hands clawing at his own to let her breathe. "How the hell could you input every single thought about myself in a book?"

A gasp escaped her lips barely, and she pounded at his chests with weak fists. Her wide wide blue eyes filled with fear of dying, fear of choking to death. Tch, he wasn't even using much pressure on her windpipe. What a weakling.

"Cruel human. You think yourself kind and compassionate and yet you do something as ruthless as this." He said simply, no emotion in his face nor in his voice. Envy with no emotion did not bode well with her at all. It scared her more than any of his over-the-top screaming rages. In an act of desperation, she grabbed a fistful of Envy's evergreen hair and yanked with all her might. The suddenness of the action woke him and it managed to shock him out of his flat stupor. He yelled in pain, and let go of her throat instantly. She immediately gasped in all the air possible, relieved for the oxygen filling her. His eyes were no longer dark and dead. No, they were a furious almost fluorescent violet.

"YOU BITCH!" He roared and back-handed her, as usual. As always. Her wrists once again were trapped to the bed by his painful grip. but Winry smiled to his great bewilderment. The anger, the snarl he expected from her- nowhere to be found. How?! "What the HELL are you smiling, moron?!" A mere yank to his hair, and he snapped back. It was absolutely wonderful.

This was Envy. Her fear dissipated away.

"Who am I, you may wonder?" Her voice suddenly assaulted his eardrums and he looked at her, slightly startled. "I am someone you know very well." She rehearsed the end of the poem, which she knew by heart. The very end which he did not get to read as it was in the next page. She said it loudly, with no qualms or hesitation and he cocked his head at her.

"For I am every man you meet," Winry's blue eyes flashed at him, knowingly. He stilled at her words, purple eyes narrowing at the blonde. He idly noticed her pale neck was already starting to show some light bruises from his fingers.

"and I am every woman you meet." She finished calmly.

Silence engulfed them. He sat up slightly from her body, looking at her face with vivid plum orbs.

And in gradual realization, he understood.

She didn't make this poem and put it in the book to specifically fuck with him. She didn't contain any malice nor mischief when urging him to read it out loud. No, she was merely acknowledging the never-ending turmoil inside his brain and soul, and letting him know the same roiling black sea of self-loathing and doubt was in every single human known. How she knew with precise certainty though, that still unsettled him. Maybe it really was something everyone had. Including her.

The fact should have repulsed him. It should have made him rage like the Devil himself, and he should be screaming at her 'HOW DARE YOU COMPARE ME TO YOU HORRID GROTESQUE CREATURES?!' Because he always told himself he was infinitely better than the humans right? It was seared, imprinted in his brain that it was fact of life. In fact, a month ago, he WOULD have done so.

But now, all he felt was an earth-shattering relief.

Relief that he actually never was alone (why did that even matter?). He wasn't going through the daily routine of breathing and living, feeling such a poisonous emptiness in his heart and soul.

He loosened his grip on her wrists, but he still refused to get off her. Their eyes burned holes into each other. Her crystal clear blue eyes that sparkled like the ocean on a summer's day. And he couldn't stop staring at her, because he felt the incessant need to understand her. All he did to her was give her pain and make her scream. All he did was break her heart and siphon her soul. When he killed Hughes, Roy wanted him more than dead. He wanted to snuff him out slowly, tortuously. And even if he detested the flame alchemist, he more or less understood him now. But her?

She snaps at him, tries to kill him and when she succeeds, she never regrets anything more in her life than murdering her torturer. She gives out kindness like it was her pure soul was made out of the stuff. And, even when she grew angry enough to want him dead and gone, to want him hurting, she immediately gives up her entire body and soul to atone for her dark thoughts and actions. She healed him physically, and now she gives him the comfort she felt he needed. Knowing it might go terribly wrong (he saw her terrified look when he first pounced on top of her, seeing the awful question run again and again in her mind oh God, please no, he's not going to rape me again, will he? please and thinking about it right now, made him feel slightly sick) and she still feels the need to fix him. To glue the pieces of his broken soul back together.

Stupid girl.

Was he even worth the trouble to be put together again?

No. Of course not. Even his mind knew that. How could he ever be saved? The pieces were too jagged and shattered to ever be fixed. She was wasting her time. And he was wasting his own time trying to enact revenge on a girl with the purest heart he's ever seen.

Winry Rockbell did not deserve to be broken.

And he, Envy the Jealous, did not deserve to be healed.

A small gasp made him snap out of his thoughts, and he focused once more on the girl's face. A single tear was on her cheek, and he wondered why she was crying again. But that didn't make sense. He looked up at her eyes and they were clear and soft. They were not watery. Yet, she seemed...sad. How? He fleetingly noticed his vision grew inexplicably blurry. How annoying. He blinked it away and was startled to see another tear on her other cheek.

Where did it come from? It just suddenly appeared! And why was his vision being infuriatingly blurry?

He blinked once, twice, three times.

His lungs shriveled up immediately, his breath knocked right out of him. Three more tears. One of them on her closed eyelid. It wasn't her.

One more crystalline drop fell from his eyelashes and directly on her bottom lip. But she didn't complain, she never said one word. She allowed the tears to fall on her face and with no qualms about it. He exhaled, feeling like a complete fool. Unwrapping his fingers on one of her wrists, he brushed the droplets from her face. Her cheeks, her eyes. And with a strangely gentle thumb, he wiped off the last remaining tear from her lip.

Winry slowly opened her eyes, and after the longest minute ever, she gave him the smallest of smiles.

"I'm done." He muttered.

"You're done in what?" She murmured back.

"Done trying to kill you. Break you." His free hand somehow snaked its away around her throat again. But there was absolutely no pressure on her windpipe, nor was there any impending danger of asphyxiation. In fact, his thumb absentmindedly rubbed tender circles in the fingerprint-shaped bruises on her neck, as if wishing them away. She relaxed at his touch and her arm lay loosely to her side.

"Congratulations Winry Rockbell. You won." Envy's low coarse voice thundered in her ear, so loudly.

"You will never see my face again, pathetic human." The insult was so thin, so fake, that Winry knew something inside...something was not right.

"Why?" She asked plainly, stupidly. She knew why.

Because it's over for me, that's why.

"Because life happens. Or you know, in this case, death." He shrugged nonchalantly. Enraged blue fire consumed her eyes, and she yanked back a fistful of his long dark hair again.

"YOU WILL NOT-!"

"Shut up." He gritted out between clenched teeth. "You do not say what I will or will NOT do. Do you understand?" His hand tightened just a slight bit around her neck. Not enough to take her breath away, but enough to hurt and make her uncomfortable. Enough to make her realize she should not be fighting his choice of ending it! He was evil. He was the antagonist in this happy story, and like all bad guys, they all deserve to die a miserable death.

And he will die a miserable, sad, pathetic death. Just like last time. Envy would make sure of that.

"Oh I understand plenty..."

Both of them stiffened. What? This voice did not come from either Winry nor Envy. No, it seemed to come from the room's entrance...

"But the real problem here is that you fail to understand-"

Two heads swiveled to the right, following the sound of where the voice was coming from. Two pairs of eyes, one purple and the other blue, widened to the point of almost popping out at the unbelievable sight. It was not possible. Time refused to move. Standing tall and courageous at the door frame, was a furious blonde man. A man with long flaxen hair, golden eyes and intent of murder in his mind.

.

Edward Elric.

.

The former Fullmetal alchemist charged toward Envy and, before the sin could even fathom the fact he was actually there, violently flung him off Winry with the strength of five full-grown men. The green-haired humanoid crashed to the wall, skull smashing against the hard surface. A shrill gasp escaped the blonde girl's mouth, and she sat up on her bed, eyes wide in horror.

"-is how you do not get to TOUCH a single hair on Winry's head, you SON OF A BITCH!" Edward roared at the sin, not wasting any time and charging at the fallen man once again. Envy realized a tan fist was heading directly to his nose, and by a millisecond, he ducked the powerful punch by rolling away and frantically scrambling to his feet. This...was...

Ed yelled out in rage, and jumped out with his leg positioning for a deadly roundhouse kick. This time, Envy did not have the time to duck and was hit directly in the stomach by a powerful heavy boot. His breath got punched out, and he fell to his knees with a wheeze. Ed took the opportunity to deliver a furious right hook at the homunculus' jaw, and with exact pinpoint precision. His neck twisted to almost grotesque angles, and blood spurted like a too-powerful fountain from his lips. The former alchemist did not let up. Immediately after, he swung a left punch towards the underside of his chin and sent him flying back to the ground.

Again, his skull bounced back from the ground and white spots fizzled and flew by like comets on the ceiling. Blood dripped out of his lips and nostrils.

"ENVY!" He heard Winry scream. The former alchemist stopped for a second, looking at her with bewilderment. Her tone was strangely concerned. It didn't make sense to him at all, but it must be the shock and trauma she's been going through with this...FIEND.

"Winry, don't move! I'll take care of him-" Ed yelled back at his childhood friend, and immediately Envy was brought back to the Markov mansion. Haunting. Alone, and seeing the newspaper of Edward Elric being hailed the hero of Amestris. Everything, he had everything. The girl, his arm back, he was the savior. He in contrast, will always be the villain. It wasn't fair. Envy had already given up, and he still got the shit end of the stick. He was already about to leave for good-!

Ed didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve any of it!

"Please Ed...stop punching him-EDWARD WATCH OUT!" She shrieked, but it was too late. Ed fell sprawled on the floor, an equally powerful left hook connecting to his jaw and sending him tumbling. Envy immediately jumped on him and began to punch the living shit out of him.

Over and over, until his knuckles were bloody, until he could no longer see tan skin. "YOU. BRAT." He panted in between assaults. "All you do is take. Ungrateful little shit. You think you can have your perfect little life and people like me, who never got the choice, who never got the chance, can just get fucked over?!" Another vicious punch.

"STOP IT! STOP IT!" Winry threw her arms around Envy's neck and pulled with all her might in a vain effort of getting the half homunculus off her friend. It actually did work, but with disastrous consequences. The furious sin stood up, her arms still wrapped around his throat so she literally was hanging from his back. She realized his fury was going to be directed to her and know she needed to get the hell away but before she could let go, he grabbed her still-tight arms and swiveled them until she was literally nose to nose with him. In an instant, she gasped and retracted her arms back so quickly it was like his skin burned her but it was too late. The sin now had his own strong arms wrapped around her waist, suspending her from the air.

He gave her a dangerously feral grin. "Hello, there. Winry." He purred. She gulped in fear, and her eyes darted to the floor where Edward lay. The blonde young man was coughing up blood, and holding his ribs in pain. Envy not only punched him until his own hand was in danger of breaking but gave him straight cruel kicks to the stomach and ribs. Her heart boomed in terror, seeing at Edward like this and she shut her eyes not wanting to see it anymore.

"Winry..."

Her breath evaporated from her lungs.

Edward's voice sounded strangely, unusually cheerful. He shouldn't even be able speak a word at a time because of all of the blood in his mouth."Look at me, Winry." It came from right in front of her, she could feel his breath while speaking. No, no,noNONO-

"Hey pipsqueak, I think you got it twisted." It was horrible, hearing Ed saying that to the bloodied alchemist on the floor. It was inevitable. She opened her eyes and saw golden amber orbs and a unsettling malicious grin on a handsome tan face. Tears rolled down her face like rivers and her breath hitched in her throat. "It's not Envy that has to keep his hands off," He chuckled, voice smooth and brassy. Edward gasped and spit more blood away, wanting to scream at the impostor for stealing his face, but nothing came out of his lips. Still, he would crawl over to him, use the last bit of strength, he'd chew his goddamned legs off before he let that MOTHERFUCKER do anything to Winry!

"No, actually. Edward, it's you. She's terrified of you. Don't you see it?" Amber eyes bore into the exact same pair of eyes, except much more frenzied. "W-win-," He managed to choke out, and Winry kept sobbing uncontrollably, unable to take two faces of her rapist.

"I mean, who can blame the poor girl?" The Ed look-alike smirked, her arms tightening around her waist while she screamed out and struggled with all of her might out of the death grip. It was useless, it was futile, and all it did was make her grow more hysterical.

"NO! NO, DON'T TOUCH ME!" She shrieked, the sobs relentless. "Get your hands OFF me, DON'T DO this to me PLEASE!" His grin widened and he slammed her into the nearest wall, dropping his arms from her waist before he did. Her spine vibrated from the impact and she felt herself slide down with horrid speed, no longer having the support of him holding her up. But before she could fall, he gripped her thighs up and wrapped her legs around his waist. By instinct, she wrapped his arms once more on his neck so she wouldn't slide down any longer. She noticed what she did too late.

"Oh God, no PLEASE no-!" Her terrified gray watery eyes sent chills down his spine. Still grabbing the underside of her thighs he whirled around and sent her crashing to the bed like before, his body nestled right in between her legs.

"WINRY!" Edward tumbled with all of his might from the floor and managed to hold on to the back of the doppelganger's shirt. "I will fucking kill you, Envy. You hear me? It's not a threat. IT'S A PROMISE!" He roared. His own laugh reverberated through his eardrums, and it sickened him. It sounded so evil, so disturbing.

"Remember me, Win? Remember all the fun times we've had in these months?" He asked lightly, a tinge of amusement in it.

"Please go away, Ed...please, I beg you." Was Winry's soft broken response, and it shattered Edward's heart. The pain that stabbed through him was worse than that pipe back from the Promised day. It was like she literally thought this horrible monster was him...

"No-NO Get your FILTHY hands OFF ME, EDWARD!" She suddenly screamed, streams of tears falling out of her eyes and Ed saw the shapeshifter's hands slide down her thighs and under her skirt. That did it. His nightmare came true. I-It came true. There was no thought process anymore. All the blonde felt was pure instinct coursing through his veins, boiling his body. He snapped like a rubber band stretched too thin, and saw complete...

...red.

He found the strength from who knows where, he pushed through by impossible means and and once again grabbed Envy by the neck and threw him off Winry. He assaulted him with a flurry of punches.

"What...did...you...DO?!" Edward said in between in each punch. The disguise fell away and he was face to face with the androgynous face of the envious sin. "What did you DO TO HER!?" He grabbed the green-haired head and slammed it over and over to the floor. "YOU FUCKING SICK PSYCHOPATH... YOU DIDN'T- NO, don' tell me YOU DIDN'T!" Even as the homunculus was getting completely destroyed, he still managed to give a weak laugh.

"It's more like... you did, Pipsqueak." He sneered at the former alchemist, and his words stunned him speechless. He couldn't even punch him anymore.

"Oh God, OH MY GOD." Edward grabbed his straw-colored hair with bloodied hands, horrified beyond comprehension. "How could you? HOW COULD YOU!?"

Envy, bloodied and broken, still 'hmmed' at him and grinned. "Well, if you really want to know the details-"

"You fucking monster. You BASTARD. How could you-?" Ed's voice wavered at the end, and his fists trembled wildly as her gripped the skin-tight black neoprene of his top. His amber eyes shed continuous tears, each droplet falling on Envy's chest and some on his face.

"SHE DID NOTHING TO YOU! SHE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS-!" Edward screamed in a strangled voice, eyes shutting tight and tears escaping faster. Envy stilled at the complete anguish in the boy's face, in his voice, in his shaking fists. His smirk vanished, and suddenly he felt like each tear Ed shed burned through his skin. His violet eyes made contacts with the dull greyish-blue ones of Winry, of her depressed defeated face. Her given-up posture, her I'd rather die pallor. Suddenly, the black happiness dissipated.

"Why?" Ed whispered brokenly at him.

And the rage came back full force. Envy wasn't playing games, nor was he going to submit Winry like that for his amusement anymore. No, he was out for blood. He would kill Edward Elric if it's the last thing he did. He would absolutely rip him apart.

"Why? WHY? You want to know why I RAPED your little girlfriend using your face?" Saying the word directly to the blonde's face made him recoil back in horror, in disgust, in everything. He's said it, and made it completely, truly real to Edward.

"Because you want it all for yourself. The happy ending, blessings from God, love, friendship, HER. But now, you see...I took her and she can never be truly YOURS. " He spat at Ed, and he fell back in complete revulsion. His actions, the most disgusting actions he's ever heard, were a mere tactic to hurt him. And he was wishing this was all a dream, like it had been so many times before. This just had to be another nightmare-

"You committed one of the worst possible crimes known to humankind...to get back at me?"

And it hit him.

It was completely his fault. Like always, Ed left her unprotected and vulnerable behind to go do God knows what in some other country. He left her. He left her to the hands of this monster.

"I claimed my prize before you could, Edward Elric. You lost the girl. Because even if I let you live, even if she can control herself to not VOMIT every time she sees your face, your mere touch will send her screaming and crying." The realization of it hit him full force. Envy was right. Completely right. How would he ever be able to see the love of his life straight in the face, knowing how much suffering she went through looking up at HIS face?

"Even if she tells you she's okay, she's coping and she loves you, you will feel the disgust. You will feel like you are forever raping her over and over. You can't have her anymore, not if you truly love her." Envy stood up from the floor, towering over Edward with dark black hatred in his eyes. Ed merely hung his head, accepting all of his words as true. He lost Winry, he knew it. Tears streamed down his face. He couldn't be there beside her each day, caring for her, loving her.

Edward couldn't do that to Winry.

He couldn't fathom putting her through that.

"It's my fault..." He whispered to himself, knees collapsing to the floor. Envy nodded in agreement. "Of course it is. It's all your goddamn fault. By act of omission, YOU'RE the one who broke her. Who left her a shell of her former self."

Droplets fell to the floor, faster than ever before. Never ending tears. "I didn't take care of her. I know that." He closed his eyes in defeat, and even though he was going to loathe himself for it later, Ed turned his head to glance at the only girl who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Her dead eyes, her sullen expression. All his fault.

"I'm sorry, Winry." He said, voice cracking and tortured. "I'm sorry for not being here when you needed me."

The girl turned her head slightly to look at him. To really look at him, and not to stare off into space like before. And her grey eyes immediately filled with tears. "I'm sorry..." Edward cried.

"I love you." Winry jolted in her skin at hearing these words, as if not believing he said them. Grey lightened just a bit to a pale blue. It served to awaken her from her blank gray world. "I love you, and I know I did a goddamn awful job of showing it to you. You never deserved any of this. You deserve better than my love." He said softly, a small deprecating smile on his face.

"I failed you, and I will never forgive myself for that." Crystalline rivers streamed down both their faces now. "It's not your fault, Ed. It never was." She smiled sadly at him. His heart soared at her words, but he knew the truth. She was the kindest person in the world, she would even give HIM a chance after all he's done. But, he wasn't worthy of her. Of her pure light. All he wanted to do was run up to her and hug her, feel her until he could no more.

But it was not possible. She hated him, now. Even if she said words of love, in reality, hate filled her mind and with right reason. He hated himself as much as she probably did.

A crackling sound filled the room, and blue lightning ricocheted off the wooden floor. Winry realized it before Edward did, and she saw Envy's palms clap together in time. A large spike heading directly at Edward's back grew in length and he didn't notice. He was too defeated and his head hung too low to notice.

"Ed!" She pushed away her sadness, her fear, her brokenness and ran. Ran to Edward in such a speed, she could hardly believe it herself. A second. That is all it took.

Winry shoved him to the floor, taking his place to the direction of the fatal spike, her front becoming the true target. "What?" Ed frenziedly turned and witnessed the horrifying second the spike vanished into her body.

"NO!" Both Envy and Edward screamed.

A deafening buzzing sound filled their ears, along with the disgusting crunch of bones and squishing flesh. Then complete and utter silence.

...

It was too late.

It's always, always too late.

The spike impaled her right through, a little below her ribs. The girl was suspended completely by the projection, hanging lifelessly. Blood ran through her uncovered pale arms and dripped slowly from slender fingers, until it made a small pool on the wooden floor. The two men stared at the beautiful still woman, terror frozen on their faces.

"You killed her." Ed whispered, tone full of negating disbelief, slowly crawling over to her dangling form. Envy kept staring at the body, unable to register what happened. Both were truly unable to register the facts. Even if burning hot tears fell from his amber orbs like a puttering stream, Ed still could not believe what he was seeing. Envy's arms shook violently, and he fell on his knees, eyes never tearing away from her body.

"You actually killed her..." The former alchemist collapsed into broken anguished sobs, trembling hands cradling her serene-looking face. He wrapped his arms around her, as much as he could anyway, and his tears just kept increasing, his sobs kept getting louder and higher. "Noooooooo, how can you be dead Winry, nooo-" He wails pitifully, pressing his forehead against her pale skin. The Rockbell house remained deadly silent, as if mourning the beautiful girl's death as well. All that could be heard were Ed's unceasing tears.

"All this time, when I thought you were dead-" The still-collapsed man murmured weakly and slightly higher than normal, as if it literally took him great strength to speak out a single syllable. "All this time, I'd thought 'maybe Envy was only misunderstood.' Your suicide kept me up at night sometimes, and just thinking about your name was enough to sadden me." He chuckled pitifully, very similarly to Envy's before he ripped his Philosopher's stone so long ago.

"I actually felt sympathy for you after your death..." Ed looked directly into the half-homunculus' eyes, a bubbling screaming concoction of heart-ripping grief and pulsing rage swirling around in golden irises. "And I realize how stupid I've been to feel saddened for such a revolting, hideous, soulless, psychotic, pathetic demon. I hope you die the most painful torturous way possible for what you've done. Or better yet, I hope you shriek and sob in misery for eternity. " Ed's voice was low and ghastly, almost monstrous. His gold irises seemed to glow. And Envy only felt the excruciating burn of fiery guilt eating away at his mind. It wasn't supposed to be this way, it wasn't supposed to be her.

"You won, then. You killed the love of my life. You destroyed me. Are you fucking happy, Envy?" His tone was so soft it could be counted as a whisper, but he words roared in Envy's ears as if he shrieked them. Like the villain he was, he wasn't happy. He will never be fucking happy.

I killed his love. I kill everyone's love because if I can't have it, no one can.

...And I will never have it. Nobody can love something as horrid as me.

The sin hung his head, vision blurred to the point of not seeing anything. Even in alchemy, which is an innate science of creation, he destroyed. But really, was there anything less to expect of him? He looked at his hands, looked at the appendages that managed to kill the only person who wanted to save him from himself, and clapped them together. The dull ring from the alchemical reactions began slowly. It was time to release Winry from her murder weapon.

Ed shakily stood up and touched her neck, having the fool's hope of finding a pulse.

But he suddenly gasped and swiveled to the sin, seeing Envy about to slam his palms to the floor.

"NO, STOP! DON'T DISINTEGRATE THE SPIKE! DON'T, SHE'S STILL ALIVE! SHE HAS A PULSE!" He yelled frantically. The air evaporated from the sin's lungs and he exhaled sharply, hands wavering in the air about to touch the wood. "The minute the spike is gone, she'll bleed out to death-"

Envy looked at the terrified wide gold eyes of his enemy, and wondered if that's how his own eyes looked as well. He stood up, staring at him., finding it almost impossible to believe that the blonde girl could still be aliv.

"Y-You can't let her bleed out, Envy. Please. I beg you. I swear if you save her I'll let you kill m-"

"What will stop the bleeding?" The homunculus demanded, cutting him off. Ed halted in his words, a bit shocked to find him complying so easily. He didn't even let him finish saying he'd give him permission to murder him. A loud snarl attacked his eardrums and he saw the half homunculus smashing a first to the wooden floor, splintering the boards. "What the FUCK are you waiting for!? Do you WANT HER TO DIE?!" Envy shouted at him, angry beyond words.

Fury filled Ed's veins and he wanted to dismember the homunculus for his horrible accusations, but knew they had to act fast in order to save her. The chances were in all honestly, slim to none, but he was not going to let her die. He was NOT going to let her go.

"The only thing I can think of right now is Alkahestry. That might stop the bleeding enough for us to get rid of the spike, but that still doesn't fix the gaping hole she now has in her abdomen. God, we need to call a freaking doctor..." Ed said to himself and quickly started running downstairs to the phone. "I need you to get all of the Alkahestry textbooks from the library in the room two doors down! I don't know how the hell you got the ability to do alchemy, but frankly I don't give a shit. Read as much as you can, as far as you can! " He could hear his far away voice yelling at him while he descended to the first floor. Envy immediately obeyed. He left the room and came back with a tall pile of books in each arm.

He plopped down on the floor, opening the first page of a thick book. He scanned the first page, and found it all awfully familiar. Dragon's Pulse, and feeling one's Chi...He read about this in Lust's mansion back in Drachma. He flipped over a couple of pages, seeing a star enveloped in a circle with the caption The Purification circle at the bottom.

May Chang used Alkahestry, he fleetingly remembered. And he studied her techniques extremely well when he was handed over to her as a worm trapped in the glass jar. This book was also the exact same book he read over in Drachma, and come to realize it, so did many of the books Ed had were also the same ones Lust had in her house. Alkahestry was a fascinating version of Alchemy and Lust was extremely interested in the subject , so kept an entire library's worth of the study of this practice. Okay, so this made his job much easier. He held a pretty good, if not excellent, hold on what Alkahestry meant and its core concepts.

"The town's physician will be coming as soon as possible but we need to help her save Winry-" Edward comes in, voice frantic and fast. Envy huffs in frustration and shushes the wired boy. He need to concentrate with pinpoint precision to nail this. He heard rustling around him, but paid no attention to it. It was just Edward back with the supplies and attempting to staunch the blood from Winry's wound.

The issue then, was to actually remember how the hell one needs to feel the Dragon's Pulse. He tried it endless times after the span of various months when he was back in the mansion, and he felt the Pulse only ten times out of the one-hundred. Great, he had a 90% chance of failing. Ok, Envy. Focus. He closed his eyes, concentrating. Dragon's pulse is the Chi of the world, the ebb and flow of energy within the Earth. It nourishes life and all that entails. Like the life-giving blood in his body. And like the blood pumping through his veins, it pumped through the life in Earth. He breathed deep in and out, but he heard the dripping of blood.

Of Winry's blood.

His blood kept pumping away, while hers kept slowing down.

The human body is essential energy in all shapes or forms. Our, I-I mean their brain operates on electrical impulses and so does their heart. The energy flows through the entire body like well-carved rivers along the ridges of the Earth. The life-giving substance sustains us all.

One is all. All is one.

He extended his fingers slowly, attempting to build a connection between the 'flow' of energy from body to the air itself. Could he...could he feel it? He slowed down his breaths. Slower and slower until each inhale and exhale felt like a minute. Something felt like a push and pull in his mind, yet it was so very faint. Her aura was a pastel powder blue (Yes he could feel her aura! Her faint chi!), an innocent calm color. But, the color kept on dulling and greying. Her presence was fading away, he could feel her life fading away. A hitch of breath from Edward, and a shift in his..being let him know that he's was panicking. He wanted Envy to staunch the blood NOW.

Then, he was successful? He had his eyes closed, so he didn't know how Edward was reacting, yet he could feel his distress. His heart beat was fast and terror-filled. His Chi felt dark. So, so dark. Black threatened the aura at the edges and the contrasts with the light powder blue made him unusually nauseous. The energy moved and bounced everywhere, and his stomach roiled. He opened his eyes and grabbed up the chalk Ed also brought back in order to draw out the Purification circle, clamping his mouth shut in order to not dry heave. It needed to be perfect, there could be no mistakes. After checking and double checking the circle, he ran downstairs and got five knives from the kitchen for the procedure.

"Hey Ed, by any chance does your brother have specialized kunai knives?! I don't think these will work!" Envy yelled, rising his head. "He was given a ceremonial package from Xing, to which he still hasn't opened yet back in the library. If we do have kunai blades, they probably should be there." Ed's voice carried out the hallway and he wasted no time ransacking the library until he found the subtle red and gold gift-wrapped packages hidden underneath the main desk.

"Aha, here you are you little fuckers." Envy retrieved a total of five kunai knives from the delicate looking box. And suddenly-

"ENVY!" He heard Edward's scream, and a sudden black covered his heart and suddenly assaulted his mind. It screeched in his ears, and his heart thumped wildly at the horrid black noise. Edward, it was Ed. He was losing Winry's pulse, he could feel it. As Ed's Chi grew blacker, Winry's felt weaker and weaker.

He practically ripped the library's door from its hinges and flew to Winry's locatiion. At seeing the girl's deathly ashen face, he decided he was not going to be any much prepared than right now. He needed to be impossibly fast. He clapped once more time, the dull ringing filling the atmosphere. "Catch her." He said solemnly, and pressed his hands to the floor. The blue sparks came to life, covering the projectile and disintegrating the spike. Winry's limp body fell directly into Edward's waiting arms.

With no time to waste, the blonde gently placed her on top the intricate Alkahestric array Envy drew out. Now, time to see if he really was ready to do this. The knives in play, and him focusing on the literal blood of the Earth (on her fading blood), he slammed one hand directly on the center of the symmetrical star in the Purification circle. The blue sparks erupted from the circle, dancing much more widly than the alchemical sparks created by the energy in tectonic plates.

Envy closed his eyes, feeling a hot burning energy emitting from his fingertips.

"Don't you dare die on me, you brat." He hissed at her, the blood roaring in his ears and hands. Edward stared at him, bewilderment and shock clear in his features. With the terror and chaos following him so far, he hadn't been able to fathom the fact that Envy...this monster along his side!, was HELPING him save his love. But now that he was stuck in the sidelines of the 'other' part of the healing process, it dawned on him how little HE was doing and what the envious sin's actions were at the moment.

Not to hurt or kill. Not to laugh at his pain. No, he was here and trying to save the life of a girl who he apparently didn't want to kill after all. Like he...cared.

But how?

Why?

Was it even possible for ENVY to care?!

The blue seemed to start working minimally, mending the edges of the wound slowly, therefore slowing down the blood loss. "Check her pulse." The sin muttered, still one-hundred percent focused on the feeling of the Blood of the land, of the Earth (of her). He had to focus, goddammit or else he'd lose the Dragon's Pulse along with hers. Ed pressed two fingers to her wrist and another finger to her neck. He waited with eyes closed, wanting to be absolutely sure of any difference he felt.

He opened them after feeling a faint pulse, and he nodded towards the homunculus. "She's still alive. But it's so faint, she won't last long." His voice was shaky and scratchy in his throat. "Then call the FUCKING doctor and tell him to HURRY THE FUCK UP!" Envy shouted with plum orbs tightly shut and pressing his hand to the Purification circle. No, he had to focus. He had to put his entire attention to here and NOW.

"...Why do you care if she lives or dies?"

"..."

"You're as anxious to save her as I am." Edward noted, eyes drawn to her still very-slowly mending wound. "You're determined. And not to do evil. But to save her life. I want to know why." A flashback of Winry screaming Envy's name in concern when he first appeared and started to punch the daylights out of him suddenly appeared to him. A horrid repulsive slick feeling of dread coated his stomach at the thought. That moment. Why would she be afraid for him? Why?

"And you think NOW is the best time to ask me this?" Envy growled, eyes refusing to open.

"You care about her. Don't you?" Ed said almost in a whisper.

"Shut up, Edward. Shut the fuck up." Somehow, he could feel Edward's piercing gaze from the sides and it made him bare and raw. He never felt so exposed in his life. And then he hears the horrified voice of the Fullmetal pipsqueak. "Oh my God." He says so definitely, so dreadfully, as if full of awful realization. And somehow, within a heartbeat, Envy just KNEW exactly what conclusion he came to. His eyes popped wide open and he turned to look at the aghast former alchemist.

"No, DON'T!"

"You actually-!"

"NO! I DON'T! DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT AGAIN, FUCKER!" He snarled ferociously, hand shaking on the Circle. No, no, no. Focus. The Dragon's Pulse. His eyes caught her wound and saw the superficial healing still being created, and knew that even if this granted her time, she needed to actually go to a hospital.

"...I can't believe you."

"Then don't. Believe." He gritted out.

"It's not possible that a monster like you is even capable of feeling-" Edward starts shaking his head, a hand running through his hair in complete disbelief. "IT ISN'T POSSIBLE. You just said it. Monsters don't have that ability. Never had. Never will."

"Then why are you saving her?" He demanded. Envy sighs at his incessant questions, closing violet orbs. And for the first time, he doesn't want to beat around the bush or play cruel mind tricks on Ed. All he wants is to be blunt and honest-to-God HONEST.

"Because she's the first human I've ever met that I don't hate. And she doesn't deserve to be broken."

.

*One more monster crawled inside
But I swear I saw it die

Can you save me from the nothing I've become?*

Wow, what a crappy ending to this chapter. I did not know what would be a good cut off, so I am sorry about that.