Where Do I Even Start?

Summary: AU. Rick and Daryl are in the army. Rick gets killed and Daryl meets Ricks son for the first time who wants to know everything about his father.(suckish summary)
Warning: AU, slash(male/male),war references,swearing,rated m for later chapters,maybe OOC

Disclaimer: Do not own the characters Mr Kirkman and Co do.
A/N: So this is like an experiment. To see what you think if you like then there will be probably 2 more chapters.

I noticed the casket was obsidian black oak. His favourite colour. I cried over that simple thing because when you were with him, you saw that colour everyday. Even if most of the time I saw him in his camouflage uniform, it was obvious, he always wore something black whether it be dog tags or just his dark black boots. The stars and stripes flag draped over his coffin, the too bright colours unable to disperse the dull dead feeling everyone had today. It always seems to be sadder when the coffin is covered by the flag. Maybe I'm bias. It's ghastly to think so many have been buried this way too. Died for their country. Leaving their families and friends to pick up the sharp broken pieces that hurt too much to touch.

The pain that was caused when the troop followed there Major General's body home on a journey that felt like an eternity, was pressed harder when the plane landed and the door slowly opened and we were all greeted by the new widow and her ten year old son who clung to her bone thin body that looked like it would snap if he grasped tighter. Her already baggy clothes hung off of her and her long brown hair framed her predominate cheek bones, it was sickening. She was obviously broken from his death. Next to the red puffy faced woman whose tears never seemed to stop falling was someone the rest of the troop knew. Recently discharged because of an injury (And the rest of us also thought it was because he went a bit psycho-PTSD or something), the Major General's best friend comforted his wife. Shane Walsh. She never noticed me throughout the whole day...how could she all she was concentrating on was the coffin her late husband was in. And the tears in her eyes probably blocked her view every second of the day. Plus if she wasn't cry herself she would be comforting her young son who didn't understand 'why his dad was never coming back' who had 'promised to be back for Christmas and his birthday'. Who didn't understand 'why he lied'...why did they stupid man lie? I just stood in the background blurring in with the rest of the black and white shades. No one else knew I felt the same way she did. Broken and feeling at any moment I could break down...unsure if this is a nightmare or real.

The procession began with his casket transported by horse-drawn limbers and caissons, something originally used to carry artillery ammunition, and a riderless horse, symbolizing a fallen leader, following behind. Words were being said about the great man that Rick was .About how he excelled at everything that's how he became a Major General at the age of thirty three. His wife was unable to talk without choking up so Shane took over and began reminiscing about all the fun times they had together.

The Fighter jets flew in missing man formation in the bright blue sky that hardly had a cloud in sight. It angered me that the Earth was not upset to lose this man. Before they lowered the casket six honour guards, three each side of the casket, folded up the flag twelve times (each time having a meaning) and three spent shell-casings, each representing one of three volleys, are slipped into the folds of the flag before its presentation to the next of kin, I originally was chosen to represent the flag to the next of kin but I couldn't stand to look in her eyes nor the rest of his families. So instead Morgan, one of his close friends and a fellow serviceman, presented the flag stars facing upwards to Lori as he knelt in front of her and presenting the flag straight edge facing her. More tears stained her face as she hugged the flag. Still kneeling in front of her and holding her hand he began 'On behalf of the President of the United States, the United States Army, and a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one's honourable and faithful service' kissing her wet cheek before he moved back to stand with his wife and son who was also Carl's age. Slowly the casket was lowered into ground, dirt slowly dropping on to it. The lone bugle playing 'Taps' drifted through the air as the player stood about 50 yards away before it ghosted through everyone's ears as the final salute was made. The rifle party began to form. Five soldiers of our battalion stood in the formation then began the three-volley-salute which consisted of a 13 gun salute. Every time a blank bullet left the rifle I noticed young Carl flinch and gripped his black trouser leg tighter in between his thin fingers. I didn't belong here and the gun shots only reminded me of that. Even though losing Rick taught me that being in the army only cause's loss I couldn't leave it...I had nothing waiting for me here. Rick promised me after his four year tour (that he had already done two years on with me) we would quit the army and live a white picket fence life. Look what happened! I'm a twenty five year old who has lost his world. A world that deserved better and had it with his wife and son. Was I have been the reason it ended if this didn't happen? I joined the army to forget about past scars to escape my father and I was lucky enough to find true love ...none of that mattered though because I caused his death and he didn't deserve it.

It was over. Nothing mattered anymore. He was dead in the ground. Dead. Everyone began to disperse so I thought it best to leave before the widow saw me as I didn't want to cause grief. She didn't know why she should hate me but she will after today.

In my hotel room that was near the sea, I sat in darkness for a long time a bottle of wine in one hand, staring out at the water. One by one lights across the bay went out, and as each one disappeared, a tiny chunk of time seemed to be slipping away. Eventually, all movement ceased and the bay settled down for the night. And it was silent, only the wind and the odd animal/insect making noise.

Every year for the past five years I visited his grave on his birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day and the anniversary of his death, no matter what the weather. And each time I have gone I was able to avoid his family. It was out now, that I was with him when we were back in Afghanistan. Yet she still hadn't met me. And no one cared that he cheated because when you're fighting for your country none of it matters if it helps you cope it helps you cope. Also I think many people didn't pity the fact he cheated on her because she cheated on him with his best friend. By many people's standards she was a worse person than him. Unfortunately this year, on the anniversary, I bumped into Lori, Shane and Carl. I must of lost track of time...this never happened before and now I'm screwed. I could hardly see their confused faces through the tears that wouldn't stop falling. Carl looked so much bigger now; he's grown a lot and was starting to look more like his old man. He ran over to me even though his mother told him to wait and Shane shouted at him...Typical Shane trying to take over someone's duties his could never fulfil. Shane quit the army and become a police officer over the last few years, he'd moved in with Lori and now she was pregnant with a little girl. Or so Morgan said.
"Who are you? And how do you know Dad?" Carl asked me, his voice slowly beginning to break now. God! How proud Rick would be of his son, all grown up.
"I work with ya Dad" I explained whilst the tears travelled down my cheek. He scowled at my redneck accent obviously not expecting me to have one. But then his face lit up like a squirrel when it finds nuts in the winter.
"You knew my Dad?" He asked with so much excitement I felt bad. I placed the flowers on the grave before I stood up and apologized.
"I always wondered where the extra flowers came from...you must be Daryl Dixon...the man who was fucking my husband" She spat at me, Shane grasping her thin arm gently holding her back from clawing my face off. How wrong was she about me fucking her husband...opposite dear.
"Hun, Yhou can't talk! Yhou cheated on with his best friend whilst he was at war! And watch ya language around ya son...look I'm leaving so don't start anything" I calmly retorted trying to diffuse the situation.
"Good! Don't ever come here again! And don't tell me how to raise my child" She screamed at me like some crazy witch, ever word stung. Her exaggeration on 'my' was obviously a taunt at me being gay and unable to have children naturally and probably also a taunt at how it's Rick's child as well. I slowly began to back away making a mental note to come later next time.
"No!" A young male voice bellowed. He jogged and grabbed my wrist.
"You're going to tell me about my Dad, the truth. Eat lunch with me and tell me everything. About your relationship, war, everything" He rambled with such a fascination. I couldn't say no. The look on both Lori's and Shane's face was priceless when I agreed to telling him everything...nothing they could say would stop me.

So what do you think?short yes but its an experiment. Please review. Good or bad i need to improve, just nothing too bad i do have a heart.
Sorry if its too OOC.
Stranger X