A cool breeze brushed against the side of my face. My eyes fluttered open as I came back to reality. As my vision cleared from the sleep, I glanced around the room. Where the hell am I? This isn't my room, I thought. Seeing the lilac curtains wave with the gentle wind from the open window, I tilted my head up from the pillow beneath me, turning to look around these unfamiliar surroundings, searching for something that could tell me where I was. White walls, adorned with pictures of flowers and shelves holding still-lit candles illuminated by a shaded lamp next to me on the bedside table. My face contorted in confusion as I tried to piece together where exactly I was. But before I could focus on anything else, a soft shuffle next to me drew my attention. My head reactively jerked to look over my shoulder to find the source of the movement, only to see the bare backside of a woman sleeping next to me.

My eyes instantly shot open as the memories of the night surged back into my mind.

There, next to me was a fully nude Helga, sleeping soundly. I instantly remembered exactly where I was – and what I had done. My mouth hung agape as I pieced together what had happened, before dropping my head into my palms, sighing heavily. Glancing over at her sleeping form again, I winced. I had such a swirl of emotions flooding my heart I didn't know what to think. I had just had what was probably the most passionate sex in my life – with a woman I just met. But not just any woman. Helga G. Pataki.

How did I even succumb to do something like this?

I silently winced again. I had completely forgotten about Lila somehow in all of this. The girl I had pledged to marry within the year, and I had just cheated on her with someone I practically just met. What the fuck was I thinking? I dropped my head, burying my face in my hands as the thoughts flooded my mind, eventually drawing a somber grunt from my throat. As I sat there, the cool breeze from the balcony brushed against my side, breaking my train of thought. As I pulled my head back up from my hands, my eyes fell on the doorway to the bathroom. I quietly got up and made my way towards it, stopping to slide into my pants. But I couldn't shake my mind of the word describing my situation. It haunted my thoughts with each step, serving as a narrator of my thoughts.

Infidelity.

Fuck. What was I going to tell Helga? That I was engaged? That this was a mistake? Wait - was it a mistake? Yes, of course it was. It had to be – right? Right.

But I liked it… Oh who am I kidding, I loved every second of it. Does that make me a bad person?

I glanced back over at Helga again as I slid on my jeans, scrunching my brow as I looked over her sleeping form.

She looks so peaceful and...Beautiful.

I paused for a moment, taking in that realization. Beautiful. This woman who – who, as a child, bullied me for a majority of my youth, took every opportunity to make my life miserable, and lacked every ounce of femininity possible – was now sleeping soundly, naked, between pink bedsheets that perfectly hugged her slender figure.

Letting out a deep sigh, I shook my head, trying to push the idea from my mind. After all, I felt weak from the whole ordeal, spent and in need of rest. I needed to go home.

Making my way into her bathroom, I flipped the light on and made my way to her sink. I turned on the faucet and leaned down to cup some water in my hands before rubbing it into my face. The sobering wetness felt good against my skin. It calmed me in a way I never really understood, but I didn't care. Turning off the faucet, I reached for a towel hanging on the wall next to me. Shoving my face into the fabric, I stood up, before two soft, slender hand slithered around my waist, embracing me in a hug from behind.

"Mmmph…hello, handsome." Her gentle voice purred against my eardrum.

I thought she was sleeping.

I slowly pulled my face from the towel and set it on the sink. Turning around, I could see she was now wearing a light pink nightgown, which flowed down over her form before stopping half way down her thighs. I came face to face with Helga, connecting eyes with her momentarily. Her warm grin and bright-lit eyes showed her enthusiasm for the moment. As I stared at her, I knew I didn't feel the same way. I knew I had done wrong.

I could only force a fake, half-limp smile from my lips. Seeing her smile quickly run away from her lips I worried that she could see the regret and guilt glowing beneath my face.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

I looked down, immediately avoiding her gaze. I wished I wasn't there. I wished I could just run away. I almost wished I hadn't run into her that day.

Almost.

"Something wrong, Arnold?" She asked, quirking her head to the side a bit. She cupped my hands with hers, holding them in a supporting caress. My heart sank at the painfully gentle touch of her fingertips glossing against my knuckles. I felt so strange. I knew what I had done was wrong by every standard I could think of. But in that moment, I wished she would hold my hands forever.

Collecting my breath, I shook my head.

"Helga, I…" I stumbled a bit, staring down at the tile beneath us as I spoke. I couldn't bring myself to look her in the eye. It was hard enough to say – let alone see her reaction.

"Yes?" She asked innocently. Her calm voice resonated so sharply against my eardrums it almost physically hurt. Then, feeling her lift a finger to my chin and pull my head up, my gaze immediately connected with hers.

In that brief moment, I couldn't see anything else. I could only see her. It was as if the world around me stopped, with my eyes fixed on her soft-green irises. I felt her finally step closer and tilt her head a bit more, as if to prod me on to finish my sentence. I blinked, shaking my head and clearing my throat.

"I, uh…" I briefly trailed off again, looking back up at her innocent gaze.

"I had a great night." I finally answered, letting out a long sigh.

I had a great night?! Are you kidding me? I thought. I knew that wasn't what I planned to say, but my lips failed me. This was getting harder than I thought.

"Oh. Me too," she quickly replied with a genuine smile as she stepped closer, almost resting her chin against my chest as she looked up at me. She acted like nothing happened, as if I didn't just lie to her face. That bothered me in so many ways, I didn't know what to think. I wanted to clench my eyes shut and just run away. My heart raced and my palms started to clam up. I knew I couldn't see her anymore. At least not like this. Hell, I was practically a married man. But something in my gut just wouldn't let me be honest with her.

Come on, you idiot. Just say it. Tell her you can't see her anymore. You can do it.

I took in a deep breath, preparing myself to speak again and clearing my head. This time I would say what I needed to.

What I had to.

"I hope we can do it again sometime," she suddenly murmured through a soft smirk, looking up at me.

I blinked, looking down at her momentarily, losing all the air in my lungs I just worked up.

Oh fucking hell. I can't tell her now, I thought, trying to formulate a quick response.

"Me too." I nodded, feigning another genuine smile. I felt as if I had just sealed my own fate; that somewhere further down the road, all of this was going to derail. I just wasn't sure how yet.

Her smile widened at my reply, aching my heart into a level of regret that I felt I might never fully recover from. I held my gaze down at her, hoping to do my best to play along in this moment, trying to help it reach its end. But somehow, it seemed to linger. Seconds became moments became minutes. I felt my stomach knotting up, like how it feels before getting on a rollercoaster. I longed to just blurt it out. To just tell her right then and there the truth. To tell her I was engaged and that everything that just happened was a mistake.

But somehow, I knew that wasn't going to happen. I knew I was going to stand there like a jackass, with a fake smile on my lips, lying through my teeth without even speaking. I hated being dishonest. I always did my best to do the right thing until tonight. I just couldn't bring myself to say it, which only made my own self-hatred grow with each passing second that I remained silent.

Finally, Helga pulled away, leaving only her fingers intertwined with mine in each hand. She looked down, almost sheepishly, before letting out a content sigh.

"Welp, it's getting pretty late. You should probably head home," she said plainly.

"Yeah, probably," I nodded, purging my lips off to the side a bit. The awkwardness in the air was rising.

"I'll walk you out," she said softly, turning to walk back out of the bathroom. As she turned, she let her fingers finally slip free from mine, which drew a long exhale from my chest, as if I had been holding my breath the entire time. Following her out of the room, I grabbed my shirt off the floor and began sliding it back on as we made our way back down the hallway.

Helga opened the front door and stood back, waiting for me to walk out. Connecting eyes with her, she beamed a warm smile my way, forcing me to mimic it immediately. Finally walking passed her, I felt her hand rest on my shoulder, pulling my attention and making me stop.

"Be careful going home, okay?" She said, looking into my eyes.

"I will," I nodded, before she leaned in and kissed me once more on the lips. My eyes clenched shut, almost repulsively, as her lips – which tasted of vanilla and excitement before – were now dripping with guilt and anxiety, leaving me with a vulgar flavor I wanted to immediately spit out. But I faked it once more, throwing a sincere gesture to move my hand up to her jawline and resting it against her face as I endured my way through the kiss. Then finally feeling her break the embrace, I pulled back to see her smirking slyly.

"Goodnight, football head," she quipped before pulling herself back entirely.

"Tss – Goodnight, Helga," I replied with another weak, half-smile, stifling a small chuckle.

And with that, I turned to walk down the front steps of her stoop. I didn't dare look back as the door closed behind me. My eyes stared straight ahead as I made my way down the sidewalk as I trudged my way back home. Part of me was glad I was finally out of there. But another part of me knew this was far from over. Things like this don't just go away magically. This wasn't going to be easy and I knew it.