i)

His fingers traced her every outline.

He painted her in his mind, trying to memorize as much of her as he could. From the way her chest rose and fell when she breathed, to the way her incredibly soft and beautiful brown hair fell perfectly around her bare shoulder as she slept. He wouldn't admit it to himself, but the truth was, he had never seen so much beauty and felt so much loved around anything or anyone as when he was with her. She was his muse, the Edie Sedgwick to his Andy Warhol, the life beneath his every painting or photo, the fresh air that brought him back to life. Yes, he had become hungered for her, he realized that while laying with her for the first time and right now, after so many times, the feeling was still the same.

"Since when did you become such a creep,huh? Watching me sleep, naked?"

She opened her eyes and looked at him, a look that made his heart swell every time.

He doesn't answer, just smiled and kissed her forehead, ever so lightly.

"You're so beautiful, Rachel."

She sat up and walked to the window. The rain was still pouring outside, the sound of raindrops patting on the window pane was getting louder and the shimmering light from outside made the drops on the glass sparkle. Yet nothing, nothing was as magical and enchanting as Rachel was, right then, looking at the boulevard from her apartment, with a blanket around her waist, he thought as he watched her every small movement.

Finn followed her, put his arms around her from behind, and planted a soft yet filled with passion on her neck.

"What is it, baby? What are you thinking about?"

"What time do you have to get back to her place?"-Rachel asked, without turning around to face him.

"Baby…"-Finn sighed, ran his hand along her side, he tilted her head a little bit to gain more access to her neck, his nose filled with her sweet scent, something reminded him of the rain and a garden with freesias.

"What time, Finn?"

This time she turned around, put her hand over his mouth. Finn couldn't resist kissing her hand, but stopped when he noticed her eyes. Her oh so beautiful brown eyes were boring right through him with a look that he couldn't explain.

Silence.

"Rachel…"

"Don't say anything. I'm just tired, that's all. Can you leave now? I need to rest. I have a gig tonight, remember?"-Rachel said as she proceeded to put her clothes on, the red silk dress he bought her a week ago.

"I don't have to leave for another half hour. I can stay"-He reached for her hand, but she quickly avoided his touch.

"Please, Finn."

Finn sighed, and as quickly as he could, he put on his clothes, a grey suit, which his wife bought for him, on his 30th birthday. He bitterly chuckled to himself as he thought about it,the life he owned. Within 20 minutes, he had to go back to it. The life he thought he wanted, with a beautiful wife, an exquisite home and a reputation along with a high position in the world of artists. Yet he wanted nothing more than her, his amour, his wild child, his heart, his Rachel. But he was too much of a coward to give up the life he hated for her, and too much of a selfish bastard to give up her. Quite a predicament he was in, his best friend would have said so.

"Je t'aime, ma belle"-Finn whispered as he walked to the door, without forgetting to kiss her forehead.

She didn't say it back to him.

ii)

He tapped his fingers along with the jazzy beat of whatever song the band on stage was playing and enjoyed his All-Irish Black and Tan. The drink was good, the music was inviting enough, and the noise of the club was just in the right amount so that he could forget the noise of the voice in his head, reminding him of how much of a coward he was. No, no, he had decided, tonight was the night of fun and he would deal with whatever life threw at him tomorrow.

"You look like you need some company there".

There she stood, the most mesmerizing woman he had ever seen in his life. She had the most gorgeous eyes he had ever looked into, and her body was to die for. There was something so alluring and tempting about her. She was trouble, he could tell. Yet he could not stop staring at her, at her stunning smile, her rather big nose, then back to her eyes. She extended her hand to him, and without hesitation, he took it.

"Rachel Berry, singer, Broadway wannabe".

"Finn Hudson".

She narrowed her eyes a bit, waiting for the rest of his response.

"What do you do, Mister Hudson?"

"-I enjoy good music and beautiful companion"-Finn took her hand to his lips, then planted a kiss on it while his eyes never left hers.

She smiled one of the most seductive smiles he had ever seen, then slowly backed away and said:

"-Good music is coming right up. Beautiful companion…"-Rachel eyed his body for a moment, not even bothered to hide it" We'll see".

He was certain she was trouble.

Finn waited for a while, and finally Rachel got on stage then began to sing. From that moment on, he could not tear his eyes away for a second.

Birds may cease to spread their wings
But it don't matter, but it don't matter
Winters may envelop spring
But it don't matter, but it don't matter

'Cause when I'm with you
My whole world stands still
You're my one and only thrill Ships may never leave the dock
But it don't matter, but it don't matter
Ticks may never hear a tock
But it don't matter, but it don't matter

'Cause when I'm with you
My whole world stands still
You're my one and only thrill

Shores may never reach the tide
But it don't matter, but it don't matter
Buds may never open wide
But it don't matter, but it don't matter

'Cause when I'm with you
My whole world stands still
You're my one and only thrill

You're my, you're my
You're my one and only thrill

At the last words, Rachel spotted him in the crowd and looked right at him, as if she were singing to him, only him.

Yes, Rachel Berry was trouble.

iii) The first time they made love, it was not gentle.

He didn't know if if she had done this before, sleeping with an almost stranger(3 dates),but really, when she began to leave hot, wet kisses on his neck, he couldn't care less. He turned her around, her back facing him, with his hands on her thighs, slowly drawing circles and driving her crazy. He took her earlobe in his mouth, then bit on it. She moaned, then pushed her hips back to grind on him. Then she spoke to him in her most seductive tone:

"Bebe…Faisons l'amour …Ahh…"

Finn chuckled as she moaned again. He was so proud of himself at that moment.

"Dupuis toute la nuit?"

He whispered in her ears, placed kisses all over her hair, slowly but surely. "Qui… Dupuis toute la nuit."

He placed her on the bed, turned her face down on the mattress and took her from behind. They let waves of passion and lust rise and fall through the whole time. In the heat of the moment, at one point, when he was sucking on her breast with his hands clasped so tight with hers over her head, he had thought he wanted to kill her then, just to make sure she could never be with anyone else. He kissed her ,she bit his lips until he felt the saltiness of his own blood.

The second time that night was more gentle. They did it with him on top, her writhing around under his weight. They came together. He lost count once he felt her lips on his member. However, he knew one thing for sure.

They did make love all through the night, just as she had wanted.

iv) He waited for her. They were supposed to meet an hour ago. He drank and drank, shots after shots. His mind began to create scenarios, some of them were so frightening that he had to stop his thoughts. Then he saw her. Right outside the coffee shop. With another man. His hands on her ass as they kissed. He was certain he had never felt like that before. He wanted to strangle her, shoot the bastard until his brain was scattered all over the place. Instead, he sat there, watching her as she entered the shop, planted a kiss on his forehead like nothing had happened.

"Bonjour, mon bel home."

"Who the fuck was that?"

"Seriously, Finn"- Rachel pulled a chair, sat down then crossed her legs, which made her pencil skirt hike up a little. Finn tried not to stare at her thighs.

Rachel, his baby girl, pulled out a Parliament cigarette then put it on her plump, red lips.

"Since when did you smoke?"

"You're not jealous, are you?"

"Maybe I am."

"Fuck you, baby. You don't have the right to. We're not innocent. You're married to that Ice Queen who refuses to give you blow-jobs, I'm as single as a dollar bill, well, technically since we sure ain't public. So, yes, that guy just then was a director. I gave him this scenario where he could fuck me and I proceed to star in a play. That's all."

"Your mouth is poison."

"It sure was wine last night."

He took her back to her apartment.

The door was closed. The shades were all pulled down.

It was cold, and she was cold. At least to him.

He ripped her clothes off, ignored her shouting and punches on his chest.

He fucked her, while tears were threatening to fall. He didn't want it this way. He wanted all of her, he wanted to do all those domestic couple-y things with her. Make love to her. Not like this. Not when she just let him, without even looking to his eyes.

"Fuck you, Rachel."-He writhed through his teeth.

"You're doing it quite well"-She panted.

They came, as they always did.

After a while, she stood up, wrapped a blanket around her waist then walked to her bedroom without looking at him.

"Lock the door when you're out."

"Quinn's not home tonight. I can stay."

"I don't want you to. Jesse and I have a date tonight."

He didn't say anything. He just put his clothes on and walked out the door.

He didn't let her see him cry.

She didn't let him see her cry either.

She went to her drawer, pulled out his shirt and buried her face into it, let his smell invaded her nose, surround her.

C'est tout.

tbc