summary | Jasper comes bearing a gift before the Cullens leave definitely – a gift available in just a few short months.

baby's breath

| found in forbidden nights, sharpest loud and place is quiet |

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He comes to her window that night, eyes a tad darker than what she's used to, blond strands covering his eyes. She doesn't question the fact that there is red seeping in the golden of his eyes. She's just glad someone came back.

"Jasper." Her voice is hoarse. She still wonders how she isn't bedridden with pneumonia. Sure, she shakes for no reason a few times in between the ride home, but mostly the numbness makes it impossible to feel.

"Hey, Bella." She manages a small smile in his direction. It's strange having someone else at her window – she misses auburn hair and amber eyes. But sun-kissed and rose colored eyes are better than nothing. She doesn't have the energy to stand up and great him, but she's glad in a way. Glad he bothered at all.

"What are you doing here?" She's not scared – he tried to kill her twenty-four hours ago, but she's not scared. "He said you'd all be gone, that I wouldn't be able to find you." She cannot say his name, but Jasper understands. She doesn't tell him all the other things he said (because it hurts, it hurts too much to remember).

"I came to apologize. I couldn't change his mind." He doesn't say his name. She's grateful. "But I owed you that. I'm sorry." She tries not to look at him too much. His perfect face reminds her too much of who left her.

"I don't care about that." He raises an eyebrow and she shrugs, not liking that she's starting to feel again. "I'm the clumsy girl with the nice blood who hung out with vampires." He can't argue and nods. "I know it doesn't change anything, but you don't have to feel sorry." She feels the rush of thankfulness before she even catches the smile on his face. She smiles, the numbness somewhat forgotten for a second.

She thinks to herself that she likes Jasper's smile. That he looks handsome that way, approachable even. She knew she made him uncomfortable, that her blood teased him. She hasn't spent a second alone with him ever since she was introduced to him. Her boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend, never allowed it.

"You really are something else." It's her turn to roll her eyes, but there's still a smile on her lips. She wonders what would've happened if she'd befriended Jasper. Maybe everything never would have happened, maybe he wouldn't have left her in the woods to die (if Sam hadn't found her, curled up in a fetal position, ready to die that way).

All the emotions she'd hidden under that numbness resurfaces. She sees the panic spread into Jasper's eyes as tears start rolling down her pale cheeks and her whole body starts to shake. It's better when she doesn't think about it, but having Jasper so close to her, making her feel – well, she can't handle that.

He actually looks worried for a second – hesitant to touch her when he reaches her. She hasn't left her bed, just sat up when she noticed him. If her eyes weren't stained with tears, she'd notice how awkwardly he's looking at her, how the look makes him even more handsome, but her body is shaken with sobs.

She feels a hand on her shoulder, the pain inside of her dying out suddenly. A few stubborn tears manage to escape even if she doesn't feel sad anymore. She smiles despite herself while sniffing, turning her head to the side so she doesn't have to see his face.

"It's still not fair." It's nice, not to feel the pain anymore even if it's a for a few minutes. But she doesn't tell him that and wipes the tears away with the back of her hand.

"I know you don't want to hear this – but you should forget Edward, really." Her head snaps towards him, his hand still clutching her shoulder and never moving. There's anger that flares inside her. "I know he probably filled your head with all his nonsense. But didn't you ever wonder why he stuck so close to you?" It's the same as if he'd slapped her across the face. She doesn't want to hear this, but his hand grips her shoulder so hard she can't move.

"When Edward met you, Carlisle had to pull him out of school for days." She remembers, but that doesn't mean she wants to hear this. "He explained to us that he almost killed you right then and there, in front of everyone. That his precious control almost escaped him." His grip tightens, his eyes turning black. "Rosalie figured out that you were his singer and told Carlisle that he should take Edward away before he blew up our cover."

"Jasper, you're hurting me." But the physical pain is nothing compared to his words. And he's manipulating her emotions so that all the anger she feels disappears instantly. But he doesn't stop.

"Imagine our surprise, all of us, when Edward introduced you as his girlfriend. Rosalie was ready to call the Volturi, to let them deal with you. But Edward argued your case and it wasn't because he loved you." The air is knocked out of her lungs. "He has to be the one to drain you. He'll become faster, stronger and his powers will be amplified." She wants to throw up. "The only reason he's making us leave is because now we all smelled your blood and he's afraid me or anyone of us will go in for the kill before him."

"Stop." Her voice is shaking, just like her fingers. "I don't…" She wants to plead with him, even beg. She's not stupid, she knew it was too good to be true when Edward chose her – but to hear someone else say it out loud, no, please.

"He made sure Alice was the first one to leave and then Emmett, because he knew it would hurt them. Esme can barely look at him, but Carlisle pleads his case. Rosalie isn't too sad to leave Forks behind."

"Shut up." Her voice rises, her hands pulling at his so he finally let's go. When it doesn't work, she hits up, her hand cracking – but she doesn't care. It feels good, because everything that Jasper is saying makes perfect sense and she knows he's not the one she should be hitting, but god it feels nice to try and inflict pain. "I told you to stop talking." She feels angry tears at the corner of her eyes, from the pain in her knuckles and her heartbreak.

He laughs at her and she just keeps on hitting him, not so hard anymore because her hands are throbbing. She's out of breath by the time she stops. Jasper's chest rumbles with his laughter and she has to say that she feels better.

"You got it out of your system, yet?" She huffs, her hands sore and her knuckles cracking, not quite bleeding but close. His accent is playful and it's the first time she notices. "Oh darlin." She pouts, his mischievous grin contagious and she rolls her eyes, her shoulder sore.

"I hate you." But she doesn't, she really doesn't. "I hate it when you control my emotions." And she hates that she doesn't hate him for it. "I should've known that Edward was lying." It's the first time she's said his name in a few hours and it doesn't cause her pain. She's smarter than that, was smarter than that. Right now, she can't remember.

"Oh come on." One of his arm wraps itself around her shoulders and pulls her closer. He pats her head like she's a child and she can't find the energy the protest when his chest is so welcoming and everything about her is sore. "You know what's sad? I was actually starting to like you."

"Fuck you." She thinks this is just this kind of playful banter they'd somehow manage for the last thirty minutes he'd been in her room. But he doesn't smile, not really and she feels bad for the words.

"Why weren't you like this before? I might've…" She sends him a glance when he doesn't finish his sentence. Questions cloud her vision, like how did she act that was any different and he might've done what?

"You might have?" She pulls her head away from his chest and bites her lip. She doesn't want him to leave because he's uncomfortable – not now that he's opened her eyes and made the pain subside. She likes him, thinks that if she'd actually known him she would've enjoyed him more than – him.

She's about to tell him that – she really doesn't want him to leave, not now – but she finds her words cut off with his mouth. Her brain pauses, her eyes wide and her body stiff against his.

He's not soft, not at all. His hand has fisted itself into her hair, his movements urgent, like he needs her to breath, and he doesn't wait for a respond. In the midst of the events of the day prior, kissing Jasper is the thing that makes the most sense (which says something about the week she's had – happy birthday and your boyfriend leaves you and now she's kissing his none-brother).

He doesn't think she's fragile. He's rough, but has enough passion that doesn't at all resemble her previous paramour. And it's good, that he's not like him, because she wouldn't be enjoying this as much if he was all soft and resistant.

At some point, she closes her eyes and let's his tongue lick her palate. It tickles and she lets out a giggle that is silenced with his mouth. It heats up her body like electricity, the feeling of being wanted. Not fifteen minutes ago, someone told her that the man of her dreams just put up with her so he could kill her and now the man who'd tried to drain her a few hours ago was slipping his hand under her shirt and grazing her breast.

She admits, it's not ideal by any means. But she doesn't think about him or how wrong he would think this is – oh, she lets out a soft moan when him thumb circles her nipple. He lets out an appreciative groan at her reaction and pushes her onto the bed with his own weight.

It's weird – an hour ago she'd never spent a moment alone with him and now she's pulling at his shirt with her hands and he raises a playful eyebrow before bending down slightly to help her. He leaves a trail of kisses from her mouth to her neck before yanking her sweater off with too much ease. She wants to huff, like he's done this before so many times before, but her body decides to arch instead when he licks at her nipple, his left hand playing with the other one.

He's skilled at what he does, makes her forget anything else but him and his mouth. She's pretty sure she could stop him at any time, she can see the few glances he sends her way whenever he makes a different move, but she finds that this is more enjoyable than she ever imagined – there's moonlight on his face when he reaches up to kiss her, he's so beautiful at that moment she forgets to breathe.

Her hands reach his shoulder as he finds her mouth again. It's strong and well-sculpted, her fingers tracing scars that are drawn deep into his skin. She lets them roam and finally, when she's felt every inch of his chest, her hands reach of the first button of his jeans and pops it with ease.

He stops, his whole body very still on top of hers. His black eyes boring into hers, his nose almost touching hers. Her hands have reached upward and one is daring enough to reach for his cheek. She can feel the lust rolling off of them, crashing in waves all around her room.

"Jasper." She whispers, because any word might break the moment. She understands the lust and the passion – she likes that he can make her stop thinking and that he seems to enjoy her proximity. His thumb digs into her cheek and then he kisses her, softer this time, like he can understand.

And then he's pushing down her pyjama bottoms, not removing them completely, and slipping a finger past her underwear because he can already feel the arousal and the wetness and she forgets about understanding and connections. His finger, now drenched, moves upwards and starts circling slowly. She's had the biology courses and knows very well he's found her clitoris. But learning about it and experiencing it is two very different things.

"Shit." Her brain doesn't quite respond anymore. He trails sloppy kisses down her stomach, all the way to the edge of her underwear that he hasn't bothered removing yet and let's his teeth graze her skin. She whimpers, doesn't know that she could make that sound at all. She knows he's smiling as he bites her underwear and tears it off of her. She also knows that there isn't anything quite as sexy as Jasper biting off her underwear.

Her mouth feels lonely without his, the sounds she lets out as he picks up a rhythm with his finger echoing between the walls of her bedroom. Her breath itches, her eyes half-closed and her lips part. She can feel the heat, doesn't have to look in a mirror to know there is a flush on her cheeks.

And then, he slips his tongue inside of her – she's gone. He grunts something out that sounds strangely like 'I'll fuck you with my mouth', but she doesn't pay attention. His free hand keeps her from squeezing her leg and she buries her hands in his hair because she just needs something to hold on to. A minute later she's squirming and panting and chanting out his name like a mantra – then she freefalls, her body shaking painfully until she cannot open her eyes anymore.

"You're actually beautiful, you know." She cracks an eye open, trying to catch her breath. He hovers over her and pushes a strand of hair away from her forehead.

"You sound surprised." He sends her a grin and she rolls her eyes, her arms reaching up to hold his neck and pulls him down until he's fully on top of her. She can feel his erection pressing into her thigh. She never knew how much she craved touch before now. "You're overdressed." She never knew that she could be so forward.

He doesn't know either, apparently. But waves his hand and suddenly she's the one on top, his jeans harsh against her naked skin. The button is already undone, it's painfully easy to pull at the zipper so slowly she can feel his irritation. She feels shy, but the lust of him trumps her shyness and she pushes the jeans down around his ankle – not bothering to remove them entirely before slipping her hand inside his underwear.

He grunts out her name. He's beautiful even when he squirms and she can't lie – she loves having any kind of power over him. It's like something clicks inside her head as she is stroking him. She wonders why she's never done this before, to hold power like this (because he wouldn't let her, her mind chants).

His hand grasps at her wrist, making it impossible to move anymore. He's staring at her, eyes glossy and messy blond hair and she sighs contently just for a moment. He flips her over, kicking his already pulled down pants and his boxers. His face is dangerously close to hers and he bends down to kiss her forehead, then her nose.

It's almost tender the way he gazes at her, his lips turned upwards to offer comfort. Her hand reaches out to touch his face – his skin is cold. It's all the confirmation he needs and then he's pushing inside of her, ripping away at her insides and she has to steady herself not to cry out. He nuzzles his face into her neck and she breathes out. He must be feeling her pain, doesn't move for a minute and then two.

And then painfully slow, he starts to move. In and out, creating a soft rhythm that makes her body hum in the most delightful way. The pain is forgotten, her breathing becomes fast and her movement almost needy, like she's been craving this all her life. Her legs wrap around him, one of his hands slipping to raise her ass up so he can slide even deeper and meet his thrusts with ease.

She moans out his name and he covers the sound with his lips. There is sweat on her forehead, her eyes roll back and her body arches into his, his new position hitting a spot she wasn't even aware existed before. She's panting out his name, breathing in the scent of sex and it's so much that her brain fully disconnects from her body until all she knows is him and her and that's it's okay.

"Let go." His voice is husky and sexy. His fingers dig in her skin and her arms throb from holding on to him so much – she chokes on his name and then holds on for dear life as she does exactly what he told her. She lets go completely, the second orgasm almost breaking her body. It's painfully satisfying, the way she feels her walls clenching around him and jumping off the edge. He grunts and then gives two more thrusts before he goes limp inside of her, eyes closed.

She doesn't know how long they stay like this, but then he pulls out and lays next to her. Neither of them speak – she's too content to break the moment and he seems perfectly happy to let her recuperate. She finally cracks an eye opened, just too look at him really. But his smirk is too much and she rolls her eyes before humming.

"Let's do that again." Catching Jasper by surprise causes her to giggle – but the sound dies when his hands reach out for her and she's suddenly straddling him.

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She doesn't sleep that night. She takes everything she can take from him and he seems more than happy to let her exploits every inch of his body. When she's making herself a peanut butter and jam sandwich, he explains Maria to her – he mostly talks about someone named Peter and his mate.

By the time he has her on all four, a surge of emotions comes on and she shakes as she explains what Edward said to her in the forest, about how he just left her to die in those woods. She feels close to him, tells him secrets like how she never wanted to come to Forks, but she did for Renée, how disconnected she feels most of the time.

He mentions how the Cullens diet never agreed with him, that he plans to reconnect with his former self now that the family is no longer together. She doesn't care, not really.

It's only when the first few rays of sunlight pierce through her curtains and that he tells her he has to go that reality settles in. He tells her to graduate and be happy and that while she's in Forks he won't return. But that he'll come back when the timing is right. She knows he has to go – it doesn't mean it's easy.

"Take care of yourself, okay?" When he kisses her forehead, she has a sense of déjà vu. But Edward broke his promise of forever and Jasper gives her hope. He jumps out of her window just as Charlie's cruiser parks in front of the house.

"Bella?" He pushes the door of her bedroom, but she's already asleep. The smile on her face somewhat reassures him and he decides that he too would benefit from sleep.

Her right arm circles her stomach in a sleepy movement – almost like she has something to protect.

a/n : I rewrote this chapter mostly because it'd been a couple of years and I thought it didn't flow as well with was is to come. I do not own the characters or Twilight. I hope you enjoyed and thank you for reading.