I think I got my funny back this chapter!

Pack Rule # 30: No one wants a spit bath.

Erica glanced at Derek. He just walked with his pack through the woods like they always did from time to time. She glanced at him again. There was this smudge. She glanced at him a third time, a fourth, fifth, sixth –

"Derek?" she spoke up.

"Hmm?" he grunted and glanced at her.

"You have a little dirt on your face." She said and he shrugged, "Hold still for a sec."

Derek stopped and she moved in front of him. He had no idea what his Beta was doing and then she licked her thumb. Erica wiped her spit on his cheek and rubbed it in. She hooked her sleeve on her thumb and wiped off the dirt. The look on Derek's face was priceless.

She smiled innocently and bounced up a head of the group that was now watching the two in shock. Derek took a deep breath and girt his teeth. "Thank you Erica."

"Anytime," She smiled happily.

"I told you he was taking anger management." Stiles whispered to Scott.

Pack Rule # 22: No drunken texting.

Derek looked at his messages before getting into his car, but he had to do a double take.

Stiles: can u pik ^ chesee wizz on ur way ham?

Lydia: I gotz the wiz don wrry bot it.

Scott: Duuuude how doe you kep in shape so well? Yur kinda nice lookin.

Boyd: Yew and me gotst to mack a fite clob.

Stiles: Hive u sin Danni we can't find her?

Danny: Im playin had in seek.

Allison: cane I tuch you adds?

Erica: hahah! You sow funie.

Jackson: I luv u.

Erica: Serisly Dany were r u?

Derek stared at his phone for a few moments before getting in his car and driving home. His house wasn't as trashed as it could've been, but beer cans were everywhere as well as his pack that were sleeping off the alcohol. When he got up the stairs he found Danny passed out in the bath tub.

Derek went to bed and decided to deal with everything in the morning. He just hoped Jackson didn't fall out the tree he was passed out in.

Pack Rule # 2: Clean up after yourself.

Everyone had a hangover, but Derek made them clean his house. After they got done with that at about four in the afternoon he showed them the text messages.

"What the hell did we use cheese wiz for?" Lydia asked Stiles and he shrugged.

"I don't remember much…"

"I sounded so gay…" Scott said looking at Derek with a mortified expression.

"Are you gay?" Danny asked him.

"Are you still drunk?" Scott shot back and Danny laughed and then winced from the hangover.

"Heh," Boyd laughed a little, "We should start a fight club."

"We'll see." Derek said rolling his eyes, but smiling nonetheless.

"Where the hell were you, Danny?" Stiles asked and he smiled.

"I'll never tell." He said looking away from them, "just in case we play hide and seek again."

"Why do you want to touch my… adds?" Derek said to Allison who turned as red as a tomato.

"I… I was drunk." She said and he laughed.

"Really? What gives you that idea?" he asked her.

"The hangover pretty much explains it." Lydia spoke up rubbing her temples.

"I was texting you and not Danny." Erica face-palmed and then sighed.

"I did not say that!" Jackson said standing up, "One of you had to steal my phone and do that!"

"You went up that tree with two six packs and never came back down." Lydia said to him, "Well until you fell this morning."

"I didn't fall." He snapped at her.

"Yeah, you jumped out of it; you just landed on your face." Stiles said and Jackson glared at him.

"Don't make me –"

"– go all werelizard on your ass?" Stiles cut him off with a sarcastic remark.

"That's it!" Derek sighed as he pulled the 'werelizard' off of the now paralyzed human. It was just another day in the life of a supernatural creature named Derek Hale.

Pack Rule # 28: Boyd is not allowed to cook.

Everyone smiled politely and tired to eat whatever it was Boyd scooped out into their bowls. It looked like the stuff that Scott and Isaac scrapped off of the pizzas only floating in red-brown goop and had some other things that looked like they could be found under a fallen tree. Everyone looked at Derek who was staring down at the bowl of… only Boyd knows what, as if he was wonder if it would try to eat him before he got the appetite to eat it.

"Well dig in." Boyd chirped as he plopped down in his cafeteria chair. He ate it like it was steak. Stiles tried to give Alpha a little but even he turned his nose up to it and ran out of the room. The girls ruined that dog by feeding him the good stuff.

"Hey, uh, what is this?" Stiles said giving him a friendly smile.

"It's soup." He said not even looking up.

"Oh…" Everyone pretended to eat, but as soon as Boyd left the room they threw it out.

"When he goes to sleep I'll take us all out for pizza." Derek whispered and they all nodded happily.

Cut The Dotted Line: Okay so the last one wasn't as funny as it could've been, but I started drawing a blank so it was a little sucky. I have to say thank MegalegU for the idea from Texts From Last Night . If you haven't read it, then I seriously suggest you do. I thought it was hilarious. Also if any of you are reading my other story The Lone Wolf I have a poll up you might want to check out. So yeah... I'd love some reviews, please? Morana out~!