Loki's Sassy Gay Friend

This is Loki, many lives in New York City could have been saved, if he had a Sassy Gay friend…

"You give up this poisonous dream, you come home," Thor stood in front of his brother, his eyes practically pleading with him to let him help.

Loki narrowed his eyes and was about to snap back at his "brother" when the whole world seemed to shift, and Thor stood motionless in front of him. The Trickster blinked and waved a hand in front of the Thunder God's face, trying to see if this was all just a game or a trick.

"What are you doing?"

Loki spun around and came face to face with another man, dressed in extremely tight jeans, blue long-sleeve shirt and a ridiculously bright orange scarf wrapped around his neck.

"What, what, what are you doing?" He demanded again, pointing a long finger directly at the God of Mischief.

The god was contemplating smiting the mortal where he stood or just punching him in the face because his fist compelled him to, for some strange reason.

"I demand to know who you are, human." Loki growled.

"No, no, the better question is why are you doing this?" The man asked, looking Loki up and down.

Loki bristled under the man's stare. "Because, maybe then 'Father' will-"

"Oh my God," the flamboyant man said and threw his arms up in the air. "You have got to get over the issues you have with Daddy. It's getting old."

No one had ever dared talk to Loki this way in his life.

"We all get it, mister. You caused mischief and chaos to get attention from daddy, because he was paying more attention to your brother, boo hoo, princess." The man scolded. "And yes, we know you are sensitive too, because you cried more than I did when I went to see the Titanic in 3-D."

Loki stared at the man's scarf, carefully counting the ways he could kill the man with it.

"And your brother here," the human said, circling Thor. "He loves you and what do you do? Try to kill him. Go home, apologize to daddy, and get over it. Because really, look at him." The man gestured at Thor's arms and torso. "If you won't go home with him, maybe I will."

One could actually see the steam coming out of Loki's ears as the man spoke.

"If you don't go now, you will be dragged there in chains after a huge rage monster put's a Loki-sized hole in the ground, capisci?" The man grinned. "Or maybe you'd like that."

Loki was silent.

"I've got all day, Mr. Norse god," the man taunted, crossed his arms, and twirled that stupid, orange scarf.

"By Odin's beard," Loki's eyes widened and he jumped back over by Thor.

"That's right," the man said. "go home to daddy. And make sure to count to ten before you try to destroy and more realms, you stupid bitch."

He blew Loki a kiss.

"Thor! By the Norns, Thor! Take me HOME!" Loki yelled at his brother.

Time began flowing again. A few moments later, Iron Man and Captain America found Loki cradled in Thor's arms, sobbing his eyes out and muttering something about orange scarves.

Umm. Yeah... I watched the Sassy Gay Friend videos on Youtube. I'm sorry.

Nicholls