Title: "Furry Two Times No More"
Author: Pirate Turner
Rating: PG
Summary: There have been many myths and legends about this grand character, some true and some false, but now the Puss in Boots himself comes forward to set the record straight.
Warnings: Slash
Date Written: 7 June, 2012
Word Count: 623
Challenge: This is the full version of a story I did for a SlashtheDrabble LJ comm's semiweekly challenge.
Disclaimer: Donkey, Puss in Boots, and all other characters mentioned within except the "meal ticket" are ﾩ & TM DreamWorks, not the author, and are used without permission. The "meal ticket" is ﾩ & TM his rightful owners, also not the author. Everything else belongs to the author. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.

There have been many myths and legends said and written about the legendary, feline hero Puss in Boots. It has been said that he was the one to find the last three, magic, green beans in existence, the one who slaid the Giant, and the reason why the goose lays the golden eggs. It has been said that he's bested an entire army of men with both paws tied behind his back and that he stole the jewels from the Queen's crown while it still rested upon her head. Kittens and human boys alike want to grow up to be like him, and females of all species swoon whenever he walks by.

Now some of these tales may be a bit far fetched, my friend, but in all of them, there is truth. However, there is one that must be set straight, and I have come forward and set pen to paper to tell you of that very story myself. Yes, it is I, the legendary, and debonair, Puss in Boots!

I must confess to a certain pride in all my conquests. The things I have done and places I have traveled are, after all, true wonders to behold. Yet there is one important conquest that none of the tales that have been spoken or written thus far get quite right, and it is the most important of them all. It is that of love.

Now you may well laugh. Why does a hero, after all, think that love is most important? It is simple, my friends. Without love, there would be nothing worth fighting for. Love truly is the most important power of all, and there is some element of love behind every great task I have accomplished, rather it be love for adventure, love for family, or, most especially, love for the one I love.

I am known far and wide as the wild Furry Two Times. It is a reputation of which I am no longer proud but have undoubtedly earned for, before I found the one who conquered my bold and adventurous heart, I did sleep with many. Each one was important to me, and to each, I gave romance, love, and a special piece of me.

Yet those times are behind me. They have been for a long time, but they still plague me and my soul mate. That is why I have come forward to set the record straight. I am no longer Furry Two Times. I no longer cavort the countryside with queens and toms regaling in my charms. I am a one-man man or, rather, a one-donkey cat.

Yes, that's right: My love is a jackass, but he is no simple donkey. He is funny, sweet, loyal, courageous, and charming in his own right. He has charmed the boots right off of this old, venturing cat. I have no further need of romancing others. I have all the romance and love I could ever want right here at home, so the next time you hear a queen carrying on about my adventures last Friday night in her bedroom, do my real love and myself a favor, will you, and let her know that that may have happened once upon a time but never again for I'm staying with my Donkey.

"There, Donkey, see?" Puss asks, turning, to his love. "The whole world knows now that my heart belongs to you." He barely has time to smile as Donkey tackles him, covering him with kisses and licks and heehawing his joy to the Heavens. It barely matters to him that Puss called him a jackass. It just matters that the truth is known at last, and his love finally told the world he belongs to him!

The End