PleaseDon'tKillMe!

(Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist belongs to Hiromu Arakawa, and Percy Jackson and the Olympians to Rick Riordan.)

All Thalia could do was gape at the pack of hellhounds. She had never seen that many together. Heck, she had never even heard of something like that happening.

"Ready your weapons!" she called out. "And you," she added, turning towards the boy, ready to tell him to get out of the freaking way, only to realise that he had already done the exact opposite.

He had decided to charge the entire pack.

"Shoot!" she exclaimed, ready to rush to the boy's aid when Artemis' hand shot out and clasped onto her arm.

"Leave the boy. Let's see what he can do."

Thalia watched in horror as the boy charged the lead hellhound. Then felt her jaw drop as the boy actually turned sideways and used the creature's own momentum against it to throw it across the entire clearing (of course, to anyone who knew about his life in Amestris, they'd know that he was simply mimicking his teacher).

Amazing, she thought. Even the children of Ares have never done that.

Then the boy clapped again.

"No!" she found herself screaming. "You're blade will just pass throu-"

She stopped when, instead of touching his arm again, the boy touched the ground below himself. The ground rose beneath him, creating a dimple in the earth around it as the boy used his new height advantage, clapped his hands, touched his rectangular shaped 'mound', and shot spikes from it.

'No mortal metal can harm monsters.' Thalia remembered. Except this was earth. The boy was literally using his surroundings, something god-made, to kill the hellhounds.

It was working. Within a few short moments, the pack of hellhounds had thinned out and the hunters were calmly shooting the rest. Thalia looked at the boy, still on top of his considerably shrunken mound. His powers so far mostly worked on metal and the earth; maybe he was a son of Hades using the small minerals within the ground to control its shape? But that never explained the blue lightning that flashed around him whenever he used his powers. And didn't' children of Hades generally have darker complexions and a Mediterranean look? This boy's appearance could only be described as gold, something more associated to Lord Apollo. Not to mention the lightning and metal limbs. Zeus and Hephaestus, definitely. Especially if the trick that the boy does with the blade is just something made in a metal shop. The strength and speed would have marked him as an Ares child, but the strategy that the boy used with the spikes and mound was a plan worthy of Athena. So who was that boy?

Her thoughts were interrupted as the boy clapped once more and lowered himself to the ground, the mound filling the dip, leaving a smaller indent behind. He nimbly jumped out of his new hole and walked back to where Thalia stood.

He isn't even tired, she thought. If he was actually a demigod, he would be on the verge of collapsing from over using his abilities. On the contrary, instead of looking winded, the boy even looked excited, like a kid faced with a new puzzle.

"At least your people are competent." He said nonchalantly, nodding his head towards the hunters and the piles of sand they created.

Irrationally, Thalia felt angry. Furious. He does that and pretends nothing happens? He dares to insult her hunters? He actually openly disrespects Lady Artemis? She stomped up to the boy.

"What the Hades was that?"

The boy simply rolled his eyes, as if she wasn't worth worrying about. "Alchemy." He answered simply, pronouncing it as 'Al-ke-mee'.

"What's that?" She asked rudely, hating her own ignorance (and adding a couple cuss words here and there, both in her head and verbally).

"Oh, I'm sorry." She hated that sarcastic tone he used, as if he was just taunting her and nothing more. "I forgot that it's common courtesy to interrogate someone who just saved you from a pack of chimeras instead of asking them their name. Whatever. Hi. Edward Elric. Nice to meet you."

Thalia blinked. "Thalia Grace." She said in a slightly cowed voice.

"And Alchemy is a science. Are you sure you've never heard of it before?" The boy-no, Edward looked concerned at that thought.

"The mortals know about 'science', but they believe Alchemy to be a myth." Said a voice from behind Thalia. She turned.

"Lady Artemis." She bowed, hoping that Edward might show some common sense and follow her example.

He didn't, instead choosing that moment to speak up. "That reminds me! Why do you call her 'Lady'? She's hardly twelve!"

Artemis turned towards him, eyeing him as if all he was was prey to hunt down and shoot. Then roast over a fire. "Because, boy, I am not twelve. I am a Greek goddess, immortal, and if you continue to test my patience like this, be warned that I enjoy turning idiotic males into small fury animals for my hunters to shoot."

She said this so calmly, like it was a statement rather than a threat. Thalia knew this, and Edward managed to figure that out from past experience.

Or he would have, if he wasn't too pre-occupied to notice.

"Then how old are you?" he asked, trying to remain calm.

Thalia answered. "Thousands of years, moron."

She noticed how Edward's eyes widened. Time for the shock, yelling and flat-out disbelief.

She couldn't have been more wrong.

Instead, he was trembling.

"How many?" He asked through gritted teeth, head down so Thalia could no longer see his eyes.

Artemis and Thalia looked at him with slight concern (not too much, seeing that he was, after all, a boy).

"How many what?"

Edward looked up. Something about his golden eyes scared Thalia, the way they seemed to have seen things that no one, not even a demigod could have seen at his age.

"Truth!" He screamed, (and was it Thalia's imagination that he had a tear running down his face?) "How many people were sacrificed for your immortality?!"

And Thalia finally realized why his eyes frightened her. They were diluted. And with a snarl of a wild animal, Edward Elric attacked Artemis, goddess of the hunt.

…

This is getting a bit repetitive.

Somewhat exasperated, Thalia shot out her hand (having got over that brief 'Edward Elric's eyes are really creepy' moment) and delivered a significantly gentler shock. This was just enough to momentarily paralyze him, instead of the usual knock-unconscious thing that had been happening a lot. And then, like that, Edward was moving again, this time a lot slower. Being electrocuted would do that to a person.

Grabbing onto his metal arm (that he hadn't even changed before he decided to attack Artemis), Thalia rolled her eyes.

"Drama queen."

"What?!"

"Nothing.

"Did you…did you just freaking call me a girl?!"

"No. That would be an insult to girls. Though with hair like that, you're pretty close."

"Excuse me?"

A slight noise made Thalia turn in the direction of Artemis, who was looking slightly amused. Either by their banter or because she expected an opportunity to make a new jack lope, Thalia couldn't quite be sure.

"I'm sorry, my lady."

"Yeah. She's sorry."

"Do you want to start something?!"

"…No?"

Ed couldn't help but enjoy arguing with Thalia. It was fun, and it just felt…right. It felt like they had been going at each other, insulting and teasing for years instead of just a couple minutes. She reminded him slightly of home. Like when he and Winry would be screaming insults at each other, whenever someone decides to comment on his perfectly normal, thank you very much hair style. The only thing that was missing was-

"Shorty."

"WHO THE HECK ARE YOU CALLING A FREAKING PIPSQUEAK?!"

Thalia blinked. She was not expecting that kind of response. Though, if comments on his height could get Edward to react this way, maybe she'll have the advantage in future fights.

"If you are done, boy, you still haven't answered Lady Artemis' questions."

Ed turned, livid, towards the girl that had decided to interrupt his rant (and he was so close to kicking her in the head!). "And what is that?"

"What do you know about Greek mythology?!"

"We're still on that? Listen, I'm pretty freaking sure that I finished that one. I. Don't. Know. What. 'Greek'. Is. I don't care what greek is. I don't really care about much at the moment other that how to get home and the fact that your 'lady' is thousands of years old, something that can only be true if she had a philosopher's stone."

"Liar!"

"No; you're the liar!"

Thalia could feel a headache coming on. "Shut up! Both of you! Arry, you know better than to provoke everybody you see. Edward-"

"Ed"

"What?"

"It's easier to call me Ed. Unless you didn't notice the extra syllable?"

"Fine! Ed, Edward, whatever. You. Stop being an idiot and at least try to cooperate."

The drill made a slight humming sound as is whirled to life. Soothing. But still, Winry gritted her teeth. This cutting took a lot of careful precision, and would need all her concentration. Because of this, she ignored the person walking into the room, no matter how rude it might seem. Properly cut automail pieces are important, after all.

Once she finished, she wiped the sweat off her face and looked at Alphonse Elric. Like usual, he was training with a weight, trying to regain his muscle and get stronger.

Strong enough to start searching for his brother.

If Winry was honest with herself, she couldn't wait for Al to go, no matter how much she said he wanted him to stay. That does not mean she does not like Al, she really did love him, but the family wasn't complete without the loud, obnoxious idiot that was Edward Elric.

The idiot that would sacrifice himself for his brother, who would very much do the same for him.

It's like one of those alchemy circles that they love so much: it keeps going around and around without end. She hoped that someone would scuff out that circle, that they would just calm down and actually live a well-deserved and happy life.

Unfortunately, that did not appear to be happening anytime soon.

"There's some apple pie on the table, if you want some." She said.

To which Al turned rather red.

"I, um, already saw."

And for a moment, Winry nearly thought that was Ed. Because only he would be that dumb and gluttonous and ridiculous, and only he would eat a freshly baked apple pie before even being told he could and-

Only he would be dumb enough to make everybody worry about him as much as they do.

She supposed she really did miss him.

So did everybody else. The Colonel, Lieutenant, and his team. They cared. Granny Pinako and Den. Ed and Al's teacher, Izumi, and her husband. Ling, his bodyguard, that girl, Mei. All of the chimeras Al managed to drag home. Hohenheim, who's grave sat right next to Trisha's.

They cared, just as much as she did.

Because somehow, that idiot managed to worm his way into everybody's heart.

But what she felt was nothing onto Alphonse.

Alphonse, who, as soon as possible, was going to restart his journey. Who was going to look everywhere for the answer to bring Ed back home. He wasn't dead. He can't be dead. Al was going to prove it, and Winry would do everything she could to help.

She looked fondly at the bright red coat hanging on a doorknob. A façade. An illusion to pretend that Ed was still there, sleeping away his automail repairs.

Come home, Ed. Everyone was waiting for you two to get your bodies back. Now they're waiting for you to come back too.

Ed never did eat his promised piece of apple pie.

Sorry!

For anyone who noticed that the first and second chapters were the exact same…sorry about that as well. I accidently uploaded the wrong edited document…(it should be fixed)

All of my sad attempts at humor were mostly influenced by Hetalia. The angst too. That fandom makes me feel really bad though, what with their 'short' 3000 word chapters that took so 'long' (2 whole weeks!) to write…

…And if anyone is a fan of the Gargoyle Legends by Heather Fleming, I've got two things for that. The last book's coming out in December!