Tony

A character study on why Tony doesn't like being handed things.

WARNING: ALL THE TRIGGERS EVER. PTSD, SUICIDAL IDEATION, MENTION OF ATTEMPTED SUICIDE, OBLIQUE REFERENCES TO RAPE AND UNDER AGE RAPE.

Mostly just warning to be safe, but it's very angsty. Also warning for weird tenses and writing style.

Tony doesn't like being handed things.

All of these things...none of these things...some of these things could be true. But Tony doesn't talk about it.

When Tony is six, a clown hands him a balloon.

"I've got lots more balloons, kid."

"Do they float like this one?"

"Sure they float. They all float. That's magic, kid."

"No. It's helium." But he followed the clown willingly enough. Then he was being shoved into the back of a van and getting tied up. It took four weeks for Howard's men to find him.

He'd refused to pay the ransom.

When Tony is ten, he is handed a briefcase by a man in a suit.

"Your dad forgot this. It has paperwork he needs in it."

"He forgot? That doesn't sound like my Dad."

"Must be having one of those days!"

"I guess..." Tony figured if the paperwork is important and he is the one who gives it to Howard, maybe his dad would pay attention to him again.

The briefcase contains a small explosive device designed to take out the Stark family and their weapons technology in one fell swoop. The man in the suit is a peace activist. Tony stands very still for two hours, crying silently, while the bomb team worked on defusing it.

When Tony is fifteen (and when he's twenty three) he is handed a drink by a handsome (beautiful) man (woman). In both cases, the drink is spiked.

When he's fifteen, he doesn't understand what the man wants or why. He thinks it might be a revenge thing, because the man swore about Howard a lot during the... event. Not that Howard really cares about what happened to Tony (he is worried about the Stark reputation though and he yells at Tony for an hour for letting it happen). He thinks it lasted about half an hour, but it's mostly a blur. He knows about it more from the photos sent to Howard than from anything he remembers.

(When he's twenty three it's because the woman wants to have prodigy Tony Stark's baby. She's been stalking him for months and he spends a week chained to a bed in her house while she fucks him. The worst part is after she's been arrested- three months after Tony finally escapes- waiting to see if she's pregnant and wondering what to do if she was.) (She wasn't.)

When Tony is twenty one, he is handed a file with a fine coating of contact poison on it. It sends him into immediate anaphylactic shock and he spends three days in a coma at the hospital. Word on the street is that it's terrorists scared of the new weapons Tony has been creating for the soldiers on his side.

It doesn't occur to him to wonder if it was Obidiah until years later.

It happens the week after Tony was confirmed as CEO.

When Tony is twenty three...we already did this one. But after that he got tighter security and was more careful about what he let people hand him. He got an assistant (Pepper) to take files and things first, and a driver/bodyguard type person (Happy) to take suitcases and things and whose job it was to make sure Tony got home safely at the end of the day.

The next one doesn't happen when Tony is twenty seven. Kidnapping for ransom, or to force him to build things for them, or for some kind of weird sexual slavery, he isn't sure. The guy tried to hand him a cup of coffee. Pepper took it first, and wouldn't let him drink it even though his caffeine stream was filled with blood (he thanked her later with a complete boxset of Xena: Warrior Princess signed by Lucy Lawless and Bruce Campbell (she's a fan)). Turns out it had a sedative in it. A few days later, someone tries to get him to sign something, they try to force a weird looking pen into his hand. Pepper takes the pen and the magazine, while Tony gets out a pen of his own. When she clicks the weird pen to see how it works, a micro-needle injects her and she collapses. (for that one he gets her a date with Kevin Sorbo). There are several more attempts, each one more intricate and elaborate, and yet amateurish. It goes on for god knows how long until suddenly it just stops. Whoever wanted him, whatever they wanted him for, they just gave up.

When Tony is 36 he is kidnapped in Afghanistan. He is tortured. He is forced to build weapons. He watches good men and women die. He can't be handed things because he has to hold onto the heavy ass car battery with both hands. The car battery that is keeping him alive.

When Tony is also 36 he holds a gun that Dummy handed him. He trusts Dummy of course. And he did ask for the gun. He doesn't pull the trigger (yes he does, he plays Russian roulette). He doesn't want to die (yes he does, he considers overdosing on pain meds a couple of days later). He isn't suicidal (it isn't the first time he's felt this way. There are scars, and he still remembers the taste of charcoal from when he was fifteen).

Tony Stark doesn't like being handed things. Would you?