The Smiths/ Please, Please, Please, Let me get what i want

So please please please
Let me, let me, let me
Let me get what I want
This time

Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I own the plot of Blank Spaces.

Chapter 14: Isabella lost in the lights

.

A while had passed since the night of the fall in the woods. Some days went by quick while others dragged horribly. As you could imagine, there was little to nothing to do here in a little cabin in the middle of nowhere. Most of the time, I sat next to Edward and watched as he painted the different landscapes and designs for his collections. As time passed I was beginning to realize something.

Without Edward staying here by myself for days on end would be absolute hell. The only thing that got be through the days sometimes was the conversations we had. Without any human contact at all I would surely have gone mad. I had absolutely no idea how Edward managed to live like this. How could a man possible survive without the warmth of another's touch or just simple interaction for a connection to reality?

How much longer would he stay here, the rest of his life?

How much longer would I stay here? I would have to leave, without question. People probably think I've run off or gotten robbed and kidnapped by a crazed gunman. I couldn't handle knowing if they were worried about me; worried if I was still—alive. They would have no leads. Hell, if they had leads I would be sitting in my Seattle apartment right now.

I would be sitting in my old torn-up couch I got from the salvation army when I was a kid. I would be staring out the window, listening to the sounds of the cars passing by. There would be no auburn-haired boy with me.

My heart ached for a second.

Edward

God I couldn't just leave him. He would have to come with me. He would come live in my apartment with me and he could bring all his art supplies and completely overtake my living room with them. I didn't care.

I just wanted to wake up to his laughter and smell him on my sheets. I just wanted to be with him.

But sweet visions of what could be were always far-off and clouded by not being reasonable, one of my many specialties. Edward was a loner. He had been that way for years. He's told me on many different occasions that he doesn't like big crowds or people for that matter. He would hate the city and the loud cars and loud yelling between the vendors and the people down walking the streets.

He'd be absolutely— miserable.

I would be beyond a feeling of happiness I did not deserve. I would kiss him when I wake up and he would give a sweet smile of reassurance but deep down, he didn't want to be there. I was the only reason he'd be somewhere he was completely and utterly uncomfortable. I don't know if I could live with that. The resentment would surely show after a while. I didn't want to see his calmed and relaxed exterior slowly turn bitter and offer me nothing but thoughts of how he used to be, how we used to be.

He surely showed signs of some mental disorder but of what I was unsure. He could show signs of being schizophrenic: unable to distinguish between the real and unreal. Saying he could read minds and they 'encased' and 'controlled' him. Being in an unfamiliar environment may cause his symptoms to significantly worsen.

Edward living in Seattle, simply, was out of the cards.

Could I really manage to stay out here? Did I care for him that much to basically surrender my life to a man I've known for only a few weeks, give up all my progress in work and relations to other people?

I couldn't survive like this either, without any human contact. It's absolutely mad.

Did I really care that much…

Would it even matter though, it could be a long time coming till the question even needed an answer. When was Edward going to get the truck fixed or when was someone going to find me?

The time was becoming an issue. Would the search parties stop looking for me after a certain reached date? I mean they're had to be search parties. Someone would have had to known I was missing and showed up to my apartment or called my work to find me—something. The search parties probably wouldn't stop anytime soon. My father being the chief of the Seattle police department probably would have the whole town on red alert mode with sirens and dogs running through the streets, posters of my face plastered on every visible surface.

If only I could just call and tell him I was okay and let him know I was safe and unharmed and just give them Edward's address.

Well, if I even knew where his address technically was.

Then from there I could make a plan. We could make a plan. We would make a plan to somehow be together, somewhere wherever that somewhere might be. I truly believed I cared about him enough to want him in my life wherever this whole situation might take us. I hoped he felt the same way.

I looked over to Edward who was leaning over the wooden table besides me, dipping his paint into a purplish color. His hair was falling over his forehead and covering his eyes which he grumbled about and pushed back with one of his hands.

Sweet Boy

I smiled. I definitely was safe and unharmed. We were starting to become a lot more comfortable and trusting with one another. I was fully aware at this point Edward was caring towards my well-being and fully intended on not hurting me like I thought at the beginning. The crazed ax-murder seemed even ridiculous to think about at this point. How could I ever think that of him?

"Mind control", Personality that can change with the drop of a pin, Isolationist, Seems to show signs of anxiety.

I winced at my mental thoughts that always seemed to resurface from the deep recesses of my mind whenever things were actually going well and under control in my life. Everything always had second thoughts attached to it or something "hidden underneath the visible layers." Nothing was ever simple in my mind's eye, ever.

Edward would never hurt me. I was sure of it.

He was sweet, funny, caring and sure he was a little crazy but it's always good to have a little crazy right? It adds character.

He continued to grumble about how the color purple was not "the right hue against the red" which caused me to immediately smile and focus in on his mouth.

At the thought, I leaned over to kiss him on his lips. At first he was surprised and unresponsive but that quickly changed as he warmed up and pushed his lips back against my own. He moaned softly against me which sent a vibration to tingle against my lips. The kiss was brief and I was pulling away within seconds.

His eyes flew open.

"What was that for?" he smirked, his face tinting a little pink and his eyes a lively bright green.

The fact that we had sex, the most intimate act you could possibly have between two people, and he still blushed with a simple kiss, was enough to make my heart skip a beat.

I shrugged my shoulders playfully.

"No reason, you just look so cute with the little paint smudges on your cheek and your hair all messed up." I reached up and raked my fingers through his hair, pushing it to one side so I could see his face clearer which in fact was covered in a few streaks of paint under his left eye and down his jaw. He had a tendency to absentmindedly rub his face when he had wet hands.

He looked up at me through his dark lashes, his eyes meeting mine and the little smirk still on his face. We held each other's gaze for a moment before a sudden change in atmosphere. I felt the air leave my lungs and my stomach curl with an unknown anticipation. My eyes flashed down to where his tongue left his mouth to wet his bottom lip. I wanted to kiss him again. I was just so greedy when it came to his soft lips.

Oh god, kiss me Edward. It's more than okay.

His eyes flashed to my eyes and down to my lips again.

A second before I was about to say screw it and kiss him myself, he pulled me closer to him.

He grabbed my face between his hands and smashed my lips into his, effectively leaving me without air. I heard his paint brush fall to the ground along with the moan that escaped me and ran tremors down his arms with the response. He opened his mouth and welcomed me into with his warm, skilled tongue which I gratefully met with mine. After a good while, the only sounds in the room were of soft sucking and of his moans when I reached my hand into his unruly hair to pull his mouth closer to mine.

It felt so damn good to be with him like this. I felt like we were making out in my mother's basement and trying to get every second we could together before he had to go home. I felt like I could lie down on the carpet and just stare at the walls for hours replaying the images of us together: the smiles the butterflies running wildly in my stomach. It felt like an all-consuming fire inside me. It was as if this feeling was enough to survive on minus food and water. It felt like falling in love for the first time.

My mouth froze against his. I pulled away, feeling my body suddenly go pale and my mind go in a million different directions at once.

No

I felt absolutely sick. He didn't seem at all phased my reaction and smiled at me as he opened his eyes and pulled away.

"Wow" he whispered.

His eyes held so much admiration and joy in them that I felt my heart swell knowing I was the one to do that to him. My heart almost painfully ached. I felt sad and I was angry at myself for not having a reason to justify it.

Everything started to blur, His face spinning around me, his words unclear and ringing in my ears.

Love

His eyes were dark and he obviously was affected by our kiss as he tentatively stroked the bare skin underneath my t-shirt and glanced down to my lips again.

I didn't want to think about that word. I didn't want to ruin this, label what we had. Love was just a word. It wasn't a feeling. I didn't want to mess this up by saying such things. They almost always turned sour. The feelings of high affection, need, desire always turned mild and cold compared to what they used to be. I just wanted to live on how it felt now.

I just knew I wanted him and he wanted me.

It was good enough.

"Let's go to the cabin" I said before kissing the spot behind his ear that always made him shudder. My head was still spinning and I was being rash. I wanted him to push me on the bed and savage me till I couldn't walk. I wanted him to take me from behind in the shower and slam me against the tiles. I just didn't want to ruin everything with thinking like I usually tended to do.

I grabbed his hand that was stroking my back and pulled it forward till it was gently touching my abdomen. I silently guided it upwards till it was placed on my left breast. His breath hitched and after a few moments he gently kneaded me, his hands growing adventurous and bolder than usual.

"Edward" I moaned and he responded with a soft grunt, burrowing his face into the side of my neck. His soft stubble rubbed against my skin.

I was beginning to feel the familiar heat rise up through my stomach and in between my legs. I crossed my legs together. At one point when his long fingers eventually left my breasts and pushed me into him more firmly. I could feel how he was hard and wanting underneath his shorts. I was pulled onto him to straddle his legs at this point and sat down on him right where I was hot an anxious for him to be.

The strong groan that emitted from him spurred me on even further. I kissed and nipped at his bottom lip, sucking it in between my teeth. He moaned so loudly it echoed of the small walls of the studio. His reaction was to grab my hips tighter and grind himself against me. I swore an actual whimper escaped my lips.

"Bella, baby I need to finish this" he said with an almost defeated tone of voice.

Baby

I felt my heart soar at my words. He'd never used the word baby towards me before. I didn't think he'd be the type to say pet names like that. It wasn't really a pet name though; it was more of a word used for affection.

Even better

Edward was showing affection. It was obvious he liked me but hearing something like that, made it clearer and out in the open. I loved it. I loved when he said that. I wanted to hear it again.

"Don't worry, you'll finish over and over again" I whispered sultry in his ear which caused him to moan and he actually whimpered this time. His hips never stopped their movements of rubbing against where I was hot and almost throbbing at this point for him. I reached my arms around his neck and flung my hair back over my neck so it lay against my back in thick waves. I pushed down onto his and met his movements. I just couldn't help myself.

"No, the painting" he panted. "I need to finish it."

Painting?

The word faintly registered over his continued heavy breathing in my ear.

"Finish it later?" I said, not slowing my movements. I leaned in to press his lips against mine.

His lips were strong and molded onto mine but after a while, parted away much too soon.

He was panting still, now lighter. His eyes were wild, hair unruly and his lips and cheeks were flushed with a magnificent pink color.

When I furrowed my eyebrows and went in to kiss him again, he angled his head away from mine leaving me to miss his lips and be met with nothing other than air.

"Edward?" I questioned. "Is everything alright?"

He certainly seemed to be into the whole idea of things with rubbing against me and the eager kissing at first. I couldn't help the quick stream of rejection that seemed to work its way through my body leaving me feel suddenly—hurt.

He just blinked a couple times and tried to even out his breathing. "I'm fine, I just—C'mon Bella you know I want to. I just really need to get this done."

I felt my lips fall down into a harsh line and my body quickly retreat from his till I was standing on the dirt of the studio in my bare feet. His arms were still out as if I had never left. They slowly reached for me to come back to him, wrapping around the material of the shirt I was wearing but I quickly swatted them off.

"Seriously, do you really need to have it done now?" I asked, noting that I was having a hard time keeping the annoyance out of my tone.

His arms flayed back when he realized I was done with sitting anywhere close to him at this point. He reached both his hands into his hair and pulled hard, much too hard.

"Be reasonable sweet heart, I really just want to get this done." He looked like he was in pain with his eyes wide and sad and his jaw tightly clenched.

I couldn't even focus on him calling my sweetheart. I was so sexual frustrated and angry with the random whiplash of emotions this boy was putting me through today.

"Why do you have to have it done now? There's absolutely no need. If this is way of telling me you're not—in the mood or whatever, then you can just tell me." I said my tone defeated.

You certainly seemed in the mood

This caused him to jump up from the chair and grab me by the shoulders, pulling me to him. He grabbed one of my hands and forcibly pressed it against the rather impressive bulge in his shorts.

It was simply the boldest and hottest thing he'd ever had done. I felt all the air leave my lungs in one breath.

"Don't you see how much I want you, feel it, and hear it with my words? Bella, don't ever doubt it, ever. I always want you." He whispered. The look of his dark eyes melting into mine was enough to make me believe it and feel my frustration simmer down into nothing, nothing other than complete and utter contentment.

My body became goo against his and I molded into his body for his strong embrace. His arms wrapped protectively around my small figure and pulled me to him as if he were afraid I'd leave.

"Ever" he whispered again, softly kissing the top of my head.

I nodded dumbly, wrapping my arms around his body in return, burrowing my head into him and trying to ignore the whirlwind of emotions that was going on in my chest.

"I just can't walk away from a project. I'm so close to finishing, I just need to do a few more things. I can't stand to see it at the point it is right now."

I pulled back and raised an eyebrow and gave him a sad, understanding look.

"I guess it's an artist thing" I said.

He looked down at me and was silent for a while.

"Yeah"

His eyes softened and darted towards the wall where the paintings lay. He seemed to avoid my eyes when I kissed him briefly on the lips and said I'd wait in the cabin for him. He nodded, sitting down on his stool and placing his head in his hands.

I turned around and peeked my head through the studio one last time, to see him still in the same position, before closing the door and walking down the line of lanterns back to the cabin.

~X~

Edward had a lot of books in his collection.

I've read most of them at this point and was starting to get into the bigger volumes he had which seemed to be worn-out and read thoroughly. Pages were torn, highlighted and folded over to resume at a later time.

I choose a little red book which seemed to be fairly new but title less on the front cover. I shrugged my shoulders at it and laid back against the couch's armrest, pulling a blanket over my body. I opened the book and began to read.

I was a little more than halfway into the third page when I felt a peaceful Zen fall over me. My eyes grew heavy and my body was sedated with relaxation. Dark won over and I was asleep before Edward ever made it inside.

~X~

I remember something warm and hard wrapped around me in the middle of the night. The strong, earthy scent of something familiar and sweet, soothing words in my ears and I was placed against a soft mattress and covered with an equally earthy smelling blanket which I clung to and wrapped my body around.

"Goodnight my love" registered faintly in a dream-like state where I was placed in the dark and unable to focus or respond. I snuggled closer into the blanket and mumbled a reply before I was out once again.

~X~

It was about 5am when I woke up again, this time to an engine.

It was a car engine.

I opened my eyes sleepily and stretched my arms over my head. The window was still open and the curtain was tied to the side showing the trees along the forest and how they stood still against the morning darkness.

I scooted my body closer to the other side of the bed, instinctively searching out the heat of Edward's body.

I was met with nothing.

My eyes slowly opened a little more, adjusting to the room's lack of light to see in fact, Edward was not in bed.

The engine sound revved louder and now fully awake, my eyes flung to the outside window where I saw light gathering around the trees. The light traveled along one side of the forest to the other as if it were moving. My eyes followed it its entire distance.

I didn't quite understand it but deep down my half-asleep subconscious knew I needed to follow the light and it was important.

My body was off the bed then, in fury of tangled hair and sheets and past the door.

Author note: Sorry for the cliffie! ;_;

Please send me a review? C'mon it will be my present for the holidays!