Hey Everybody! So the weirdest thing came to my mind while I was in the shower (of all places). I thought to myself what a wonderful world... errrr no not that but " What if I did a spoof on Titanic". Says the other side of my mind "Thats a great idea! Don't care if you've only been in the shower for two seconds! Get out and start writing!" So here it is.
SCENE 1
The Titanic theme by James Horner begins to play. In slow motion, ship apears onto the screen with thousands of people on it. The ship is leving port and the people are waving goodbye. The screen goes black and ocean water appears. A title sequence appears that reads Titanic: The Unsinkable, but the un is crossed out with an X . The camera submerges under water and zooms in on a sumbereine
BROCK LOVETT: 13 meters; you should see it.
Sunken ship's bow apears in camera's view
BROCK: Give me the sunken-ship-o-meter this has gotta be it
LEWIS BODINE hands him a device with a screen on it. Lovett holds device up to the window looking at sunken ship. Device reads, Empress of Ireland aka not the Titanic. BROCK rolls his eyes.
BROCK: We've already past the Lady of the Lake, the Lady Elgin and Princess Alice. This is starting to get personal.
LEWIS BODINE: Shall we?
BROCK smiles
LEWIS presses a play on a CD player. One Way Or Another by Blondie begins to play.
Along the journey the sunken-ship-o-meter read other sunken ship names. Finally it reads "You'll never find me! XD". Music ends.
BROCK: This is madness!
LEWIS: THIS IS SPARTA!
BROCK raises his eyes at Lewis.
LEWIS: No seriously, the name of the the sumberine is Sparta.
LEWIS holds up a life jaket that reads SPARTA.
LEWIS: Well, Brock you got to admit, aproxomitly 85% of the time people skip this part of the movie.
BROCK: Oh fine, since we're not getting anywhere lets give the people what they want!
SCENE 2:
ROSE DE WITTBEKATTER , a red head in a wedding dress, steps out of a limo. She struggles getting out of the car because of the dress being so wide.
ROSE: Cal, why did you make me choose this dress out of all of the others, and more importantly, why do you make me wear it all the time?
CALODEN HOCKLY (from inside the limo): So I can see this all the time
ROSE kicks Cal.
CAL: Owww? You made me mess up your mother's hair.
RUTH: Uhhh, hello? Women, like, in destress here!
ROSE: Mother just please give me a push. I can't be like this all day!
CAL: Awwww!
RUTH: Yeah, like, why not make me do all the work?
ROSE is pushed out of the door by RUTH
ROSE: Wow!
CAL: Rather magnificent.
RUTH: I, like, don't see what all the fuss is about. Oh my god, Cal. You, like, said this would be, like, the bigger than the world. I'm like gonna cry now.
CAL ( muttering): I only said that so you would come along.
ROSE: Lets just get this over with!
All get onto ship.
I am just claiming that I do NOT own any of the characters. All characters belong to Mr. James Cameron. Fun fact: Did you know that James Cameron started making Titanic in 1995? The film was released in 1997 so that means it took over 2 years to bring the film to screen! I guess all his hard work paid off. I could never keep up with something for two years! GBU James Cameron!