Disclaimer: Nothing, as usual, except for the recruits!

Sorry about the language.

"Wait, what's his name again?" Tony asked. Scanning down the list of classified files. Classified, my arse. I'm Tony Stark.

"James McRae." Natasha replied.

"Ugh, too many names! I can't be bothered. JARVIS?"

"Yes sir?"

"I can't find James McRae in this list." The screen zoomed down and a name was suddenly highlighted.

"This James McRae, sir?"

"Yeah. Thanks JARVIS."

"Not a problem, sir. Can I ask why you have hacked into the database for a recruits file?"

"No, JARVIS, you cannot." Tony said, his eyes glued to the screen.

"My apologies, sir."

Clint had currently gone for a run on a treadmill on one of the various floors of S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters.

"Ahh, here we are. Phobias. Why are there a list of people's phobia's in their file?"

"S.H.I.E.L.D likes to 'train' agents so they won't be compromised if someone finds out their fear."

"Why did you emphasise train like that? What do they do?"

"Intense 'training', Stark," and she left it like that, refusing to elaborate.

"OK then. So, his fears: Heights – ehh – bees...mummies? What?"

"Huh. Some people have strange fears Tony. What else?"

"Umm.." he continued reading. "Spiders?"

Natasha nodded, "That'll work."

"What have you got in mind?"

"Nothing big."

"Hey, Science bro!" Tony hollered as he strolled into his and Bruce's lab. "We need your help."

"Oh yeah?" Bruce looked up, amused. "Who are we pranking this time?"

"Am I that transparent?"

"Yes."

"Oh." Tony sniffed.

"Mmm." Bruce laughed, "Who's 'we'?"

Tony dropped the mock-sadness, "Natasha and me. See, there's this guy; James McRae-"

"Ahh. The recruit Clint beat up a while ago. I treated his concussion."

"Yeah, him," Tony wasn't impressed he was interrupted.

"See, seeing as you treated him, we were thinking you could get him to come in for a quick analysis, by you. Like a check-up."

"And?"

"We're not sure what prank to pull once he's in here. It's a work in progress."

"Do you have any plan?"

"He's scared of spiders...? Any ideas?"

Despite Bruce being perhaps, besides Steve (and the fact that he turned into a 'raging green monster' as Tony put it) the most level-headed of the Avengers, he was still fiercely protective of his 'time-bomb' crew. If Tony was doing this for Clint (even though he seriously enjoys pulling pranks anyway), then this guy probably got what was coming for him.

"Uhh, fine. Can you bring me a rubber spider?"

"Yeah. We can do that."

"Good. This guy better deserve it Tony. This isn't going to be nice."

"I'll get the cameras ready."

After Bruce was brought his rubber spider - and frankly, Bruce was alarmed by the speed Tony returned with it – he was left to work.

Mixing some light paint up, and setting up the lab ready for the prank, he paged James McRae to come in ASAP for a check-up.

He trusted James would come in quickly, because Bruce was a respected scientist, and (occasionally) doctor.

Sure enough, it was only a few minutes before James turned up.

"What's up, Doc?" the recruit laughed at his own joke. Bruce really disliked this guy.

"Oh, hello James. I just thought it would be smart to have a quick check-up, make sure your still OK."

"I'm always OK." James defended. Bruce rolled his eyes.

"That's not what concussed James thought." The recruit turned a heavy shade of pink.

"Anyway," Bruce continued, "it's just a quick check-up." He looked around, "I actually had Clint in here before you," he lied, peeking over his glasses to look at James' expression. "I just had to check up on his broken wrist. Where's his file gone anyway?"

Bruce turned his back on James, knowing full-well that the file was on a bench top right next to James. He heard, "I found it – this one right?" It was hard to miss it with the blaringly red stamp: "CLASSIFIED" across the cover.

"Yeah, probably. Hang on, I just have to find a pen, then we can get the check-up done and you can be out of here in no time."

Now Bruce was just looking around, 'searching' for a pen, waiting for James to open the file to read (supposedly) all about Clint.

Just as he turned around, he heard a shriek.

James had indeed opened the file, only to release the pressure on a spring, that launched a spider onto his face. The recruit shreiked. Bruce ran over to him, and looked at James. "What happened?" Bruce asked, feigning worry.

"There – there was this – this massive spider! In Clint's file!"

"What? You looked at Clint's file?"

"Yeah – I mean – no, no. I didn't mean to!"

"You didn't mean to look into a highly classified file, about an Avenger?" Bruce questioned. "Is the stamp not obvious enough for you?"

Tony, watching all of this through one of the many cameras in the room, snickered. But it wasn't as amazing a prank as he thought it would be.

"It's just – no, I mean, Clint is such a -"

"A what, McRae?"

"Nothing, I – just," James moved sideways awkwardly, trying to get towards the door. As he moved, his foot pressed against a wire, which opened a can, with a very much alive, albeit harmless spider inside. It scuttled up James' leg, and James in turn looked down. He shrieked – again – and when he wasn't looking, Bruce quickly burst the bag of green pain in each of his sleeves. The paint rolled down his arms quickly and covered his hands.

Now for Phase 4, Bruce thought.

The tripwire had pushed a lot of vials and containers off the workbench (harmless chemicals, but James didn't need to know that)

Bruce started breathing heavily. "Get out of my lab. Now," he growled.

James looked back at Bruce in horror, "Dr. Banner? Are you-" he noticed his hands and paled visibly.

In one of the TV rooms, Tony, now having been joined by Natasha, Clint and Thor, laughed uncontrollably.
When Bruce started roaring – quite convincingly as well – James made a sprint for the door.

Steve and Clint, after a competition to see who could last the longest on the treadmill (Steve won, obviously) walked past Bruce's and Tony's lab to hear roaring. They quickly ran to the door, where they could see through a window, before James McRae suddenly barged past.

"Get out of my way!" he shrieked, rather girlishly.

Steve and Clint looked into the lab, just as James turned down a corridor and was out of sight.

Bruce looked up and smiled. He lifted one green hand and waved, "Hey guys. You just went to the gym?" he asked casually.

"Ahh, yeah." There was a confused expression on both Steve and Clint's face, before they both caught on. "Say, is that green paint?"

"It sure is. Oh, and can you help me find a huntsmen spider, that is somewhere in this lab?" He gestured broadly, with his (somewhat faded) green hand. "You know, it turns out that James McRae is intensely scared of spiders. And the Hulk, apparently." Bruce smiled, non-chalantly, and went back to cleaning his hands. "Oh, and mummies, I think Tony said."

Steve just shook his head, smiling. He didn't really know what to say.

Clint was equally as stunned. Who knew that the Avengers – particularly Bruce – were pranksters?

Steve finally spoke up, "Any chance you got that all recorded?"

Bruce smiled, "Every second."